Scar Tissue
by whiteyspidey
Summary: Emily is back in university, trying her hardest to move on with her life. Not only is she staying in contact with her old friends from Rosewood but more familiar faces start popping up and mysteries and challenges start presenting themselves along with them. Slow cooking Paily romance.
1. Chapter 1: Voices and Heat

It was the beginning of October and even now it was too warm to think. Or maybe it was just that the room was too stuffy. Emily put her book down on her bedside table and rolled around on her bed. She pushed herself up on her elbows and took a peek at the beat-up digital clock that was partly covered by the book that she had just put on top of it. 21:28. It was too early to sleep and even if it wasn't so early she wouldn't have been able to anyway. Her mind was racing, thoughts moving at lightning speed, leaving her with an almost buzzing sensation. She let out a huge sight and flipped off the bed before grabbing a sweater and heading for the door.

She strolled the street leisurely, pondering at first if she should grab her bike and go for a ride but then decided not to. Her front-light was broken and she hadn't had time during the week to get a new one. Maybe come the weekend...

" _We are extending an olive branch here Miss Fields, but you have to give us a little back to show that you're invested in what we have to offer."  
_ Emily hadn't really grown used to this place yet. It was not inside campus but it gave her a reason to get out her bike more often as it was more convenient than the public transport. And since she arrived here she had taken a liking to long bike rides, finding them helpful to clear her mind. Living inside campus hadn't really been an option anyway, not with her entering university as a sophomore, most of the dorms had already been reserved for freshmen, or at least people that had an uninterrupted academic career. But she had gotten admission, even if it was from the wait-list and lodging that could be deemed acceptable so she couldn't really complain. She had fallen behind and had a lot of making up to do if she ever wanted her life to really start. She felt that for such a long time her life was somehow on stand still: even when people were still moving around her. For a very long time after her dad had died everything just seemed to fade to a blur and she had continued as if on auto control.

It wasn't until she went back to Rosewood, faced her demons yet again and found out that her old friends still had her back that she allowed herself to turn it off and feel that she could finally control something again. With Spencer's help she had composed a very convincing letter of admission, and with Mrs. Hasting pulling some strings and calling a few acquaintances and after having spent many nights sitting at the window seat in her old room with her stomach in knots she was finally relieved to find an email in her mailbox enclosing that she had been taken off the wait list and would be attending Pepperdine University the following fall. At that moment she had finally allowed herself to feel something again. She had produced an unexpected yelp of surprise and her mother came running upstairs wondering if her daughter had gotten hurt. When Emily had disclosed the good news they grabbed each other and did some impulsive victory-jumping until one of the frames on the shelf fell down with a loud clunk. When Emily was bending down to see what had fallen down and noticed that it was one of the last photos that had been taken of her with her dad, she felt her mother's presence behind her.

"He would have been so proud of you, you know that."  
"So very proud of his college dropout? I'm not really doing anything remarkable mom, just fixing some things that I already messed up." Emily had said as she picked the frame up.

"Sweetie, now look at me," Emily turned around and met her mother's gentle eyes. "It's not important that you fell. It happens to the best of us. What matters is that you are trying your hardest to get back up. And tonight you won a major victory in order to achieve that. So let's just rejoice in that fact okay."  
Emily had smiled and positioned the frame back on the shelf. "He belongs there. Close. And yes, I will take him with me."  
Emily got pulled from her thoughts when she realized that she had walked an entire circle and that her phone was buzzing inside her room. She hurried back in but didn't manage to catch it before it stopped ringing. It was once again buried in the large pile of clothes that was ever present next to her bed and she heard it peep again when she pulled it out of a pair of jeans. There was a message from Hanna:  
Any plans this weekend? Want to meet up? Can't wait to see your place.  
Emily typed back a response and threw her phone back on top of the pile. She laid back on her bed and let out another sight. It would be fun to see Hanna again but she wasn't exactly looking forward to showing her around the three and a half corners of her crammed 'apartment'.


	2. Chapter 2: One Americano coming up

**Authors notes: I'm posting this here instead of in the first chapter. Hello, how are you? Thank you for reading my work. I would be very thankful if you left a review. The story will be written in short snippets, at least to begin with but it is a work up to a mystery/romance theme.**

Emily was ripped from her dreamless sleep on Saturday morning by a loud knock on the door.

"Hello, Emily, are you awake yet?"

She got up from bed and shuffled for the door. Hanna beamed excitingly at her when the door was opened and shook a goody bag that she had in her arms.

"I got you bagels and some coffee. You still like Americano, right?" Hanna said.

"Yes. Of course. Thank you Hanna. You didn't have to. Really." Emily looked a bit nervous stricken around. When she had given Hanna her address she was expecting that the blond would pick her up and they would go to a café together. She wasn't exactly expecting her to come barging into her room and she wasn't really sure that she wanted to have that conversation. Not now. Possibly, not ever.  
"So, is it a bedroom-first apartment?" Hanna asked and looked around the room. "Do you have a kitchen or a dining room where we could sit down and eat?"

"Uhm, the thing is, you're sort of looking at it," Emily said awkwardly. When Hanna's face turned into a big question mark, Emily gave her small demonstration. "The thing in the far corner, that's my kitchenette. And in the corner next to that there is a pull out table and a folding chair. I had two actually, but one of them broke down. But don't worry. I mostly eat at the caféteria at campus."  
"But, do you have a couch or anything..." Hanna said and put her bag down.

"Well, you just put your stuff on it," Emily answered. "It's also a bed. I can't really fit both in here."

Hanna seemed to be at a loss for words.

"I'm so sorry Emily. I didn't mean to imply that..."  
"You know, forget it. It doesn't matter," Emily smiled. "Whatever it was that you were expecting."

There was an awkward silence. Something hung between them but neither of them could completely catch what it was.

"You know what," Emily said. "You can take the chair. I'll just sit on the bed." 

A few moments later the two women had devoured the bagels and were zipping lazily on their coffees. Hanna had moved to the sofa and was leaning her head on Emily's shoulder.

"So, basically the grant that they provided was generous. But it doesn't mean that it covers all cost. The tuition is pretty hefty," Emily started counting out on her fingers. "And then of course I need food and lodging. And then there are the text books. They made me buy a new version of a text book that I had when I dropped out, but I swear it's just the same book with the chapters rearranged a bit."

"I suspected that as well when I was looking over some of the older versions of the text books that I bought for my online classes," Hanna let out a hearty laugh. She stared at Emily defiantly. "What? Do you think that Spencer is the only one that can do some calculative comparisons? I'm not pursuing an MBA degree so I can push pencils around Emily."

"Yeah, I know," Emily said. "Sorry. It's good to see you finally allowing yourself to be ambitious. I sometimes felt that you played yourself a little dumb back in Rosewood."  
"It was a surviving mechanism Fields," Hanna leaned back on the couch. "So, how did you come by this...cozy little place?"  
"You don't have to try so hard to say nice things about this place. I know it's sort of dumpy. The guy that lives upstairs used to serve with my dad. He got injured a couple of years back and had to retire. He and my mom started talking when he showed up for my dad's funeral. No Hanna. Nothing like that. It's just, he lost his wife to cancer back in 2009 so they liked emailing each other. Talking about the grief and stuff. He has a daughter my own age that used to live here but she moved to Pennsylvania some time ago for work. So he offered me the room for a meager fee, which is great because I was getting really desperate to find a place in my price range, which was really raining on my parade."

Hanna giggled.

"It's a figure of speech Hanna!"  
"I'm sorry. Okay I'm not sorry."

"You're such an idiot sometimes."

Hanna and Emily stood outside the apartment and hugged goodbye.  
"I'm really sorry that I have to leave so early," Hanna said. "The woman I'm doing my mid-term project with just called and she is freaking out. Apparently she's not getting anything that I wrote."

"No problem. Just call me next time before you show up at my door."  
"Yeah, maybe we can go somewhere."

"Yeah, I'd like that."  
"It was nice catching up with you Emily," Hanna said while getting into her car. "You can call me any time. Compared to the distance that used to be between us, since I moved to California we're practically neighbors. So don't be a stranger."  
Emily waved Hanna off and watched as her car disappeared behind the turn.  
"I won't. Not anymore."


	3. Chapter 3: A chance Encounter

The water was cold, blissful and wonderfully refreshing. Emily raced forward in large and confident strokes, executing each movement in a carefully calculating manner, not wasting any energy on unnecessary flailing or ill thought motions. This was the part of swimming that she loved the most; the quiet calculations, the maximization of each muscle and the joy of seeing how she could make her body work like a well oiled machine. She counted at least a dozen laps when she caught a glimpse of the clock and realized that she would have to get out of the water; her biochemistry assignment wasn't going to solve itself and she had an early shift in the cafeteria tomorrow. When she was getting ready to head to the showers she noticed a silhouette at the front door. She approached cautiously, her responses still on high alert after having been pushed around A's play house for such a long time but relaxed when she came closer; it was only coach Fulton.

"Hi Mr. Fulton. I didn't know you were here already. I thought practice didn't start for another hour," Emily said.

"It doesn't. But I came early to talk to you again. I know that you train at this time to avoid crossing the team."  
"That's not true. I just finished my class and thought I'd swim a few laps before going home."  
"Why are you afraid of them Emily? I can sense your fear but I can't exactly place my finger on as to from what it's coming from."  
Wow. They were really giving coaches more training in psychology these days than they did back when she was in Rosewood.  
"I'm not afraid of them," Emily muttered. "It's just that... I'm afraid that if I see them I will want to join them and I know I can't."

"But you can. You know that the offer still stands to join the team. We have been terribly unlucky this year and there are some positions open."  
"Yes, I know. I remember you telling me. About the olive branch and that whole thing. But the thing is Mr. Fulton. But the thing is, I can't train like a competitive swimmer. The pain in my shoulder might be gone for the moment, but every time that I upgrade my workout routine it comes back. It's like my body can't handle it or something. Maybe, maybe I'm just too broken to swim in the same caliber as these guys. And I'd really like not to be reminded of that."

"But have you tried to fix it? Seeing a physical therapist maybe?"  
"I'm not sure if that would help."  
"But it could. How can you say that this is something that you desire if you're not willing to fight for it?"

"It's not that simple..."

"I'll tell you something. I have a guy at this physical therapy not too far from here. He's worked with a lot of top athletes, and like we all know they really love getting busted up from time to time. I'll ring him and see if he can get you in. At least see him, see if there is no way for him to help you, and then you can continue to obsessively avoid my swim team for the rest of your time here. How about that?"  
"Okay, I'll do that. Thanks."  
"Just give me your university email and I'll write to you if I manage to convince him to let you squeeze in."  
"Okay," Emily reached for her bag and dragged out a notebook where she wrote her email address and handed to the coach.

"Thank you. I know that you don't have to do this. You have other, more important athletes to think about."

"I didn't just arrive here when you were getting out of the pool. I saw you swimming and it isn't the first time. You are an engineer of movement Miss Fields. And I wouldn't be a very good coach if I was ignoring such a stellar investment for my team."  
"Thanks...Coach."

Emily fidgeted in her chair in the wait room. Her appointment was running late and she was getting very ticked off about it. She had gotten up extremely early to make it to this shiny, little practice that honestly looked like it was a couple of levels above her pay-grade but she had decided to stick it out and at least fulfill her promise to Coach Fulton. But she was tired of waiting. She got up and marched on to the secretary that also seemed to have been just about to get up.

"Miss Fields," the young man's face looked apologetic. "I was just about to talk to you. Doctor Rolandsson just phoned in letting us know that he has a sick child at home. He is terribly sorry but he can't see you today. Do you want to reschedule your appointment?"

"I don´t have... I don't..." Emily was at a loss for words. For some reason she felt like this was the straw that broke the camel's back and made her feel completely defeated. "You know what? Forget it. Have a nice day."  
She turned around and stormed out of the practice. There was a feeling of disappointment growing in her stomach like a parasite. She wasn't really sure if it was disappointment in herself, Doctor Rolandsson's child for that exact day to be sick or just the world and its inhabitants in general. She pressed the elevator button anxiously; she just wanted to get out.  
She was staring very determined at her shoes when the doors open so she didn't notice that the elevator was occupied by another person. Therefor she just rushed inside, pressed the button for the ground floor and moved to position herself in the inner right corner. It was then when she bumped into another person, almost knocking her over, but she remained on her feet, however a couple of files flew from their hand.

"Jesus, I'm so sorry. So truly sorry." If Emily hadn't felt defeated by the events of the day, this certainly but the cherry on top. "This was my fault. Completely. This certainly isn't my day." She reached down to pick up the files and stood up to hand them to the person that had until then stood completely silent and frozen. It was Paige. She had a different hairstyle sure and she didn't dress the way she used do, but this was certainly, without a shadow of a doubt Paige McCullers.


	4. Chapter 4: Twenty Questions

The elevator opened at the ground floor. And closed again. And then it opened again and two people entered and went up to the second floor. When they had exited the elevator closed again. Emily felt like her face was about to melt and drip to the floor. She wanted desperately to come up with something to say, but not as desperately that she wanted to simply vanish. Paige seemed to be at a loss for words too.

"It's nice to run into you...literally," Paige finally said. She pushed the button for the ground floor. I guess I should let you get to wherever that you were so desperately trying to get to."

"I...well...Ummm...I should... I need to go," Emily was about to rush past when she met Paige's gaze. She stopped dead in her track and looked back at her.  
"I didn't know you went here," Paige said. "Did you just start?"  
"This is my first time," Emily said. "Or... it was suppose to be my first time. The guy that I was suppose to see canceled on me."

"Oh, is it Doctor Rolandsson by any chance?"  
"Yeah, it is. So I'm just going to go."

"Did you book another appointment?"  
"No I didn't. It doesn't matter, it's just...why is this of any concern to you?"  
"If you're here it's probably because you need help. And I just want to be sure that you are getting it."  
Emily wanted to say something stingy to get Paige off her back but the comment threw her off track.

"I'll tell you what," Paige said. "I just need to drop these off at the office and then I'll invite you for a cup of coffee and we can play twenty questions. How does that sound?"  
"I could really use some coffee."

The two women went to a small place located not too far from the practice. Emily looked around while Paige got their orders. It was cozy, sort of rusty but in a good way.

"And here you go," Paige said and put two cups on the table. "You still drink Americano, right?"  
"Right," Emily said. "How much do I owe you for the coffee?"  
"You don't. I said that I'd invite you for a coffee. It's the admission to play twenty questions, isn't it?"  
"You drive a convincing bargain."

"Well, I'd like to think that's one of my specialty."

"However, I must add another clause to our agreement. For every question that you ask I get to shoot one back at you."  
"That's fair."  
"So, what do you want to know," Emily said and took a sip of her coffee.

"This is out of professional curiosity: why did you schedule and appointment with Dr. Rolandsson?"  
"I didn't. The coach at the swim team did."  
"So you're in the swim team?"  
" Not so fast Paige. I get to ask now."  
"Sorry. My bad."  
"Why were you there?"  
"I work there. I just started this semester."  
"So are you done with school?"  
"Respect your own rules Emily."  
"Crap!"  
"My turn: I'd like to repeat my previous question."  
"No. I'm not in the team. The coach wants me to try out but I have to get sorted out first. Same for me: I repeat my previous question."  
"I'm sort of done with school and sort of not. I'm doing a doctoral but I get to work under Dr. Ronaldsson to get some of the insider experience that I need for my subject."

"Wow, that's so cool."  
"How about you? Did you graduate yet?"  
"No. I don't know if you heard, sorry. I just assumed that A's newscast of our dirty laundry, but after my dad died I just kind of lost the spark. But Spencer helped me re-enroll this semester and I'm hoping that I can be done with it in the spring. What is your subject? For your thesis I mean."

"It's a close look at some specific sports injuries. If I'd have to explain the entire thing to you we would need a lot more than coffee. Do you still maintain contact with your friends from Rosewood?"

"Yeah. Hanna just came by a couple of weeks back. Caleb got a really nice tech job and they relocated to California. I see Aria and Spencer every once in a while too. But not as often as I'd like to. How about you?"  
"Not so much. I really enjoyed getting away from Rosewood. I spent such a long time there pretending to be someone that I didn't really feel like, but once I arrived in Stanford I could just be myself straight of the bat you know?"  
"Yeah. I think I know."  
"Did that count as my question."  
"Maybe. Did that count as another one?"  
"Then you're down one too. I won't fall for your tricky words."

Emily let out a hearty laugh. Paige might look a bit different but she obviously still had the same witty sense of humor that Emily had always appreciated so much.

"My turn then," Emily said. "How have you been?"  
"I can't complain," Paige said. "I manage to get some dough because of the gig at the Physical Therapy Practice and my Doctorate grant is also pretty generous. I think I have settled in pretty nicely. Why did you wait so long to get help?"  
"Because... With the whole fiasco back in Rosewood and finally getting back into university it felt like the only thing that I could manage to do was to keep my head above water. I didn't really think about swimming that much. And then along comes Coach Fulton, and, in his own words "extends an olive branch" so I let him talk me into seeing this fancy physical therapist that I can barely afford for one appointment -so I don't know what fit of optimism made me think that I could pay for an entire therapy to get me back into form..."  
Emily felt herself get emotional. She didn't want to tear up and embarrass herself in front of Paige.

"I need to get to class. Thanks for the coffee but I think question time is over."

Before Paige had managed to get in a word of complaint, Emily had already gotten up and stormed out the door.


	5. Chapter 5: At the Natatorium

A whole working week passed before Emily was forced to think about her surprise meeting with Paige again. She had been doing her best to keep it from her mind. She threw herself into schoolwork, getting ahead of her schedule for the first time since she started university or maybe for the first time she started school in general. She had also started running laps close to her house as she didn't really feel like going to the pool and risk running into Coach Fulton along with uncomfortable questions about what had happened with the physical therapist.

It was Friday afternoon and Emily was sitting at her desk scribbling notes when she heard her phone beep. She unlocked it to find that she had gotten an email. She sighed. It was from Coach Fulton:  
"Hello Miss Fields,  
As I have heard no news about your appointment with Mr. Rolandsson I wanted to inquire you about how your appointment went.  
With best regards,  
Tom Fulton."  
Emily sighed threw her phone on the table and buried her face in her hands. How was she going to get out of this? She couldn't really going back to the physical therapist. She had called in a couple of days after running in with Paige and found out that getting appointments with Mr. Rolandsson was next to impossible and that even if she could secure an appointment it would only be a one since her budget didn't really leave space for regular pricey visits to medical experts. She also couldn't go back to Coach Fulton, for she didn't really envy explaining her financial situation to him. She got up and changed into her running shorts and tied her shoes. Maybe a run would help take her mind off things.

Emily tried picking up the pace but didn't seem to be able to. Her mind was all over the place and seemed to be jumping back in time.  
 _"Paige!"_ she saw trees flashing by her eyes, yet she knew that she was in the middle of a residential area. She was running on concrete and yet it felt as if she heard dried leaves cracking under her feet.

" _You were with me."  
_ Emily stopped dead in her track. She had somehow ended up back in front of her house. Her leg were cramping up and her muscles were getting sore. She didn't want to run anymore and as much as she wanted to deny it, there was something else she wanted: she longed for a swim.  
While getting back inside she tried arguing with herself. It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be smart and...

"Oh to hell with it," she said out loud and grabbed her bag that was still lying where she had last left it.  
-

The water felt cool and crisp, unlike running in the still warm October had felt like. Emily breathed and pulled confidently. Even though the pool had been her source of trouble, it also felt like a source of something else, even after all this time. A source of calm, control and strength. Her final lap was over and she grabbed the platform on the bank, letting herself dangle in the water. She got her cap off and let her head float in the water, enjoying the serenity that the silence of the liquid brought. Suddenly she noticed a shadow looming over her. She cracked one eye open and caught a glimpse of a long auburn braid and blazing red colors.  
"Fancy meeting you here," Paige said and smirked.  
Emily swiftly turned around and pulled herself up to the bank.  
"Paige," she stuttered. "What-what are you doing here?"

"I do a lot of assessments for the swimming team here," Paige said. "And they allow me to access the natatorium as I please."  
"That's very nice of them."  
"It is. We didn't exactly part on the most agreeable terms the last time I saw you, so I was afraid that I had offended you. So I'm so glad that I ran into you. Emily, I don't know what I said that struck a nerve, but whatever it was I'm so deeply sorry."

"It wasn't you Paige," Emily said. "I was just having a very rough day and I wasn't dealing very well with it."  
"It's okay Emily. I understand. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get my swim on."

"Okay," Emily said and backed into the dressing room. "I should go. Bye now."

Once back in the dressing room, the brunette lingered in the showers, lost in her thoughts.  
"You can do better than that Emily," she said to herself. "You don't have to be so cold. Since when did you turn into such an ice queen?"

After she was done changing back into her clothes, Emily lingered around the library, trying to concentrate on a textbook that she had in brought with her but couldn't concentrate on the words that danced before her eyes. She flipped her book back and put it back into her bag. An idea had found its way into her head.

Paige made her final turn in the pool and started tugging harder at the water. Even though she wasn't competing anymore, she liked challenging herself and the biggest challenge was always making the best of the lap when she was already spent from her set. She saw the flags on the other side approaching and took her final pulls before grabbing the bank victoriously. She caught a glimpse of the clock. She was still maintaining her time. It wasn't until she had pulled herself from the pool that she noticed that Emily was standing there.

"Have you -have you been standing there all that time?" she asked puzzled.

"While you were swimming?" Emily asked. "Gosh no. You've been in the pool for like 45 minutes."  
"Still got to keep up appearances."

"Yeah. I guess. I was just wondering," Emily showed her two paper cups. "Would you care to have some coffee?"

The two women sat comfortably on by the bleachers, zipping on the remains of the coffee that had already gotten cold -not that either one had noticed.

"So I mostly just keep to the routine that I had back at Stanford," Paige said. "Of course I can't always keep up. Sometimes I need to turn in chapters and I am, as usually behind schedule. But I'd like to think that I keep it up... Ninety percent of the time."

Emily glared at her, judging.

"Okay," Paige laughed. "Fine, fine then. Maybe seventy percent of the time... Sixty ? Oh come on Emily, have some faith in your old teammate!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. It's true. I should have more faith in you. You've managed to stay fit."

"Thanks. So have you."  
"Not as much as I'd like to. I really wish that I could join the team. Get back in to the form you know?"  
"Well you can. Didn't Coach Fulton extend you, what did you call it, a cherry branch?"

"An olive branch Paige. And yes he did. But for that to happen I'd have to be able to train more. And if I do that, I get the pains again."  
"But that could be cured. You could get a help from a physical therapist. A lot of athletes get help. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed of needing it. I'm ashamed of not being able to afford it."  
There was a silence that stretched between the two women. Emily felt how the discomfort spread through her like poison. This was it. The end of the road. There was nothing that could be done. She was broken, not to be fixed but to be left on a shelf somewhere, forgotten like so many broken things.

"I should go," Emily said. "I have coursework."

She pulled got her bag and got up. When she headed for the door she heard Paige's voice coming from the bleachers:  
"Emily Fields. Don't you walk away again."

Emily turned around. There was something that was digging at her insides. A hot coal poking her stomach. But she didn't say anything. Paige had gotten up as well and jogged up next to her.

"Can I offer you something?" Paige asked and looked straight at Emily. "And no. Don't get any funny ideas. This is strictly professional. I need a lot of training in the physical therapy department and need to log in all the hours that I need. I could be your physical therapist."

 **Authors notes: This chapter is slightly longer than my other chapters. I might continue doing longer chapter with slightly longer pauses in between if that's okay with everyone.**


	6. Chapter 6: Multitasking

**Author's Note: Someone asked if the story was written with the idea in mind that Paige and Emily never had a relationship. The answer to that question is no. It can be assumed that everything that happened in the 6 seasons of PLL has happened. Reviews are always welcome.**

Emily took the longer route to back to her house that Friday. She biked through busy streets, parks and even took a couple of circles around the lake. It was getting dark when she finally got home and she could feel how her sweaty clothes could cling onto her. She would have to take a shower when she got home. As if she hadn't spent enough time today being soaked in water.

She didn't feel the cold until she had parked her bike and she hurried inside as the goosebumps crawled up her arms. When she got her phone out of her pocket, she found out that the battery had run out some time ago and she plugged it in before she hurried out of her wet clothes and into the shower. Once she got out she could she that her phone was running again and she had a couple of new messages.

17:11  
From: Oliver

To: You  
Hello stranger. Long time no see. Didn't see you after the exam yesterday. How did you do?

17:35  
From: Hanna  
To: You  
Hey hey. I have some news. Call me.  
Love, Hanna.

17:45  
From: Paige  
To You

Hey, sorry, I didn't have my planner with me before. Call me and we can find out where I can fit you in.

-Paige

Emily pulled on some slacks and turned her computer on. She hit Hanna up while she logged onto the computer and saw that she had some new notifications.  
"Hanna, hey how are you doing?"  
"Hey Emily. I can't talk too long now so I'll be quick: remember the computer that I told you Caleb used to use?"  
"Uh-huh," Emily responded as she scrolled through her notifications.

"Well, turns out his work got him a new one so he doesn't really need it anymore. Would you like to have it?"  
"That would be really great. Mine keeps on short circuiting. I've been really afraid of losing my stuff lately."  
"Well, he can bring it to you this weekend if you want to."  
"Thanks. What time does the concert start?"  
"What are you talking about Emily?"

"Aw crap, sorry. I'm trying to multitask. Can't say that I'm any good at it. A friend of mine asked if I could go with him to a concert tomorrow evening."

"Oh, that sounds interesting. Anything that I would like?"  
"Probably not," Emily bit her lip. "But you should come anyway. We'll make an evening of it. And you can finally meet my friends anymore."  
"I thought that I had monopoly rights to that!"  
"Hah-hah. I have other friends."

"I know. But yeah. We should totally do that. Just text me the address and time."

"I'll do that."  
"Oh, jeez, look at the time. And I was going to make this short."  
"You never do. Anyways. I wanted to ask you one more thing."  
"Sure, shoot. But make it short. Caleb already thinks that I take forever to prepare."  
"He can't enjoy the perks of dating someone that's high in maintenance and whine about what it entails."

"That's true."  
"But, what I wanted to ask was: If you got a really good opportunity, to get back something that you want so much but got ripped away from you, but there could be some sort of downfall, or it could backfire, would you still do it?"  
"Emily, if something doesn't have these term of conditions, how do you know it's really worth it?"  
"You can't answer a question with a question. What's up with that."  
"Says the girl that just answered with a question. See you tomorrow."

Emily hung up and finished telling Oliver that some of her friends from Rosewood would be joining them. She stared at the mounting bars on her screen for a couple of moments before she grabbed it again.  
"What the heck," she said to herself as she pressed in the number. "Hey. Paige. What's up? How does your week look? Okay. I'll wait. You lost your planner again? I guess some things never change. Actually, I am free tomorrow morning. You work on Saturdays? Okay. Great. See you then."


	7. Chapter 7: Evaluation

Even though Emily had woken up early on Saturday morning, she had to hustle to the practice as she had spent too long in front of the mirror.

"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb," she muttered while she pedaled furiously and almost got clipped by a passing car. "It's physical evaluation. Not a job interview. Not a date. What were you expecting?"

She finally was finally able to find a parking spot for her bike outside the practice and ran to the elevator.

"Oh come on!" she mashed the button. After what felt like forever she gave up and bolted up the stairs.

Paige was writing up some of last weeks' notes when she noticed that Emily was already fifteen minutes late. It didn't really seem like her, so she got out her cellphone and was about to punch in the number when she heard some racket outside of her office. She peeked out of the office.

"Emily?" she said when she spotted the taller girl trying to open up her colleague's office.  
"Hey, Paige," Emily seemed flustered. "Is your office over there? I could have sworn it was this one."  
"Not unless my name is doctor Peter Brenton."  
"Hah-hah. I must have mixed them up from the last time I was here."

"I bet. Come on in."

Emily shuffled into the open office. She felt awkward; she was clammy from the bike ride and was afraid that it would make Paige regret having agreed to see her.

"I see you wore appropriate attire," Paige remarked as she offered Emily a seat on the reclining bench.

"Yeah," Emily gestured toward her slacks. "I figured that you might be asking me to do some twists and turns." She bit her tongue. That definitely came out wrong.

"Well. You figured right. So let's get cracking shall we? Can you please hold out both of your arms forty-five degrees from your body?"  
Emily followed Paige's' demand and the auburn girl got some measuring equipment from the table the she slid along side her arms.

"Excellent. And now put them up to ninety degrees. Good, good. And all the way up. Okay, great."

They continued with Emily striking a couple of more poses and showing some movements and Paige scribbled some stuff down on a notepad.

"Okay Emily, it seems to me that there is some difference between your shoulders," Paige said. "I'm going to use your other shoulder as comparison to base how you are suppose to move. I have some exercises in mind that I would like you to do but we need to do a little further research."  
"What do you mean by further research?" Emily asked. "Do you want me to get an X-ray or something?"  
"Well, since you mention it, yes I'd like you to get one of those. And a sonar."  
"Isn't that something that you get when you're pregnant?"  
"Not only then. It's just a different method that gives you another angle. I'll give you a referral so you won't have to worry too much about the price. But what I'm mostly interested in is seeing you in action."  
Emily felt the blood travel up to her cheeks. "What do you mean?"  
"Oh, no, nothing like that!" Paige had started to blush as well. "What I meant was, well... How do I put this? There are certain occasions that your pain becomes more apparent, yeah?"  
"Yeah."  
"I'm assuming that occasion is swimming."  
"You would be correct in that assumption."  
"Score one me. Anyway. That means that it's better to figure out what's wrong by studying it in the context of where it goes wrong."  
"You want to see me swim?"  
"That would be ideal." 

"Okay, you go to the pool a couple of times a week right? Shouldn't we just meet up then?"

"Yeah, we could do that."  
"Okay. So it's a date," Emily felt like she wanted to chew off her tongue. Why did everything she said come out so wrong?

"I usually go on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays," Paige said and got out her pad again. "So, Tuesday? At five-thirty?"  
"Five-thirty it is."  
"Great, I can hopefully give you a complete diagnosis after that. I'm sorry it's taking so long."  
"Don't be. You're giving this to me. I should be the one thanking you. I'm sure that you have better things to do on a Saturday."

"Not really. I usually come here to do paperwork. I've turned into quite the workaholic."  
"Well, as long as you like what you're doing..."  
"I do. I truly do. And I'm glad that I can help you to get back to your feet."  
Emily noticed that her phone was buzzing. She fished it out and unlocked it:

14:35

From: Hanna

To: You  
Hey. I hope you don't mind but I reserved a table for us before the concert. The place just opened up and I think you're going to love it. Be there at 18:30. Caleb is looking soooo forward to see you.

Emily swore loudly and Paige turned to her.  
"Sorry," Emily said. "Hanna just messaged me."  
"You two still keep in touch?"  
"Yeah."  
"That's so nice."  
"Yeah. Anyway, she just invited me for dinner and I need to get home to change."  
"I guess slacks don't quite cut it with Hanna Marin, do they?"  
"Are you kidding? She'd renounce our friendship."

"You better get going then."  
"I guess I should."


	8. Chapter 8: Red Ferrari

**Author's Note: So, this chapter is a bit longer than the usual. If you have any questions about the content don't hesitate to ask in the comments. Reviews are, per usual, always welcome.**

Emily managed to make it to the restaurant in good time and noticed that she was actually there before Hanna and Caleb. She sat down at the bar and ordered a small draft beer while she skimmed around the place. It seemed nice, very sophisticated, definitely very Hanna. The servers were mostly young, her own age even. The girl that poured her drink and collected her bill had a tired look in her eyes. She seemed to have worked too many overtimes and to be mentally counting down to when her shift would be over. Emily knew that look. She had worn that look herself too many times. She got out her wallet and handed the girl a ten dollar bill.

"Keep the change," she said and smiled encouragingly.

The girl's face seemed to light up for a moment before she had to hustle to the other side of the bar where a middle aged man was waving his arm obnoxiously. Emily sighted. She knew his type. The type that called any woman, regardless their age 'sweetie' -or worse 'girl', had no sense of personal space and were usually horrible tippers.

"Em?"

Emily turned around and opened up her arms to greet Hanna and Caleb.

"Sorry we're so late. The first five pairs of shoes just didn't feel _exactly_ right to Hanna so she had to try on some more and then adjust her dress accordingly," Caleb sighted.  
"Hey! What have I told you about the 'high maintenance' thing?! You can't complain about it and then enjoy my exuberant presence when I have found the perfect outfit. Can't have your cake and eat it too," Hanna grabbed Caleb and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Shall we sit?" 

The dinner went over smoothly. Caleb and Emily both got dishes that Hanna recommended and the friends caught up on what had been going on with themselves and their other friends. Spencer was back in Washington after having helped her mom secure a position as a senator and had Skyped Hanna the night before to rave about her newest campaign.

"She is really feeling it, I could tell," Hanna said. "She has to be. She kept on going into these insane details about the numbers and the charts and the numbers on the charts, so in the end I played a little dumber than I should because I just really wanted to change the subject."

"That sounds like Spencer," Emily mused. "Getting all worked up about something that we aren't really into that deep. Remember that time that she got super upset about the event in that book. What was it again?"  
"The Red Wedding. Oh my god. What was that about? And then after that came the Purple Wedding. What was that whole thing about?" Hanna laughed.

"I have no idea," Emily chuckled, but then noticed the clock. "We should probably get going. The concert is going to start soon."

"Right," Caleb said and waved the waiter.

Emily already had bag up when the waiter approached them but Hanna handed him her credit card without even discussing how they were going to pay.

"Don't worry Em," she said. "It's my treat. I love your bag, where did you get it?"  
"Oh, this thing?" Emil asked. "It's just something that I grabbed when I was running out the door. I was sort of busy today so I didn't get home until late."

"Ooh. Business or pleasure?"  
"I don't really know what you could call it," Emily tried to find the right words while they walked to Caleb's car. "I ran into Paige the other day." Hanna's eyebrow flew up. "No. Not like that. She's working as a physical therapist. I was referred to her practice and she was taking some measurements."

"Some of your measurements?"  
"No Hanna. Aria's measurements. Yes, my measurements."  
"And why would she be...getting your measurements?"  
"The coach wants me to look into going to swim practices, but I can't do that unless I improve my shoulder. So she's going to help me with that."  
"That's so great Em. I didn't even know that you were going to try out for the swim team."  
"I wasn't going to. But then the coach was really insistent and Paige popped up offering me her help, so things just sort of worked out like that."  
"Ladies," Caleb said. "We're here." 

The concert venue was small and crowded. Oliver was already there when they showed up and seemed to click seamlessly with Caleb. Emily almost found herself getting jealous, but at the same time relieved that her old friends were getting on with her new friend. Hanna found them a table and suggested that they'd get some drinks.

"I'll get it," Emily said and got up. "Something pink and fizzy I assume?"  
"Preferably yes," Hanna smiled. "And could you get Caleb a beer?"  
"I'd be happy to."  
It took a couple of minutes to push to the bar but once she had placed her order she caught glimpse of a familiar sight -auburn hair and a side braid. She craned her neck to get a better look. It was Paige, she was positive. She had dropped the professional office attire in favor of a skirt and a black top, reminding Emily of something that she could not quite place. Should she go up to her and say hi? Would that be really weird? Or would it be weird if Paige noticed her and thought that she was ignoring her?

"Lady!" an annoyed voice snapped Emily back to reality.

"I'm sorry what?" Emil said confused.

"That will be ten forty five,"the annoyed bartender announced.

_

When the band had finished its set and it was finally quiet enough to have a proper conversation Emily decided to bring the subject up that she had been thinking about the entire concert.

"So, you'll never guess who I ran into before at the bar," she started.

"It couldn't have been Paige McCullers by any chance?" Caleb asked.

Hanna turned and stared at him open mouthed.

"What? I pay attention sometimes..." he said, almost sounding disappointing.

"Who's Paige?" Oliver asked.

"It's her ex girlfriend," Hanna said. "They started dating around the same time that Caleb and I did."

"During high school?"  
"Yup."  
Emily shot Caleb and Hanna ice cold glances. She hadn't mentioned Paige to Oliver and wasn't sure she was going to. But now the cat was out of the bag.  
"It probably wasn't even her," Emily said. "I mean, why would she be here, at exactly this place just right after I met with her again for the first time in years?"  
"It's the red Ferrari," Caleb said.  
"What does that even mean Caleb?" Emil was getting annoyed.

"Or, you know, the red Miu Miu's," Hanna said.  
"Are you in on this weird lingo too?" Emily turned to Oliver.

He shook his head, looking as confused as Emily felt.

"It's sort of how you never notice things until you have a reason to," Hanna said. "Like when I got a pair of red Miu Miu's, I started noticing a lot of women wearing red Miu Miu's. They didn't start wearing them just because I got mine. It was me who only started noticing them wearing them because they were on my mind."

"Which is basically the same thing I was angling for," Caleb said. "You get a new type of car, suddenly you see that type of car everywhere."

"Maybe she comes here all the time," Hanna said. "Maybe she frequents a lot of the same places that you do. And tonight is the first time that you've noticed."

"Maybe," Emily said pensively.

"Just go over and say hello," Hanna said. "That way you'll know for sure."

"You guys don't mind?" Emily asked.

"Not at all," Oliver said. "Me and Caleb have some stuff that we need to hash out. He actually thinks that the Terminator reboot was an improvement."  
Hanna rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about me. I'll manage."

"Okay," Emily said and got up. She wandered around the venue which had significantly less people now that the band was done playing. Maybe she had already gone. Or maybe this hadn't been her at all. And besides, what was she going to say? Hi, I saw you before so I decided to chase you down? This was a bad idea from the start and she couldn't turn back now because then she'd never hear the end of it from Hanna. She finally noticed her, standing near the door. Emily pushed between a couple of burly guys and walked briskly toward her.  
"Hey, I thought it was you..." Emily froze in her steps. Paige wasn't alone. There was someone standing next to her; it was a tall woman with dirty blond hair and a sun kissed complexion. They were talking, seemingly very lost in the conversation. It didn't even seem that Paige had noticed her. They seemed to be at great easy with one another, laughing and joking. Paige threw her head back in laughter and the blond reached up with her arm and stroked over Paige's forearm. Emily felt like someone had poured a bucket of ice water down her back. She didn't dare move. She just watched, like some sort of a dork. Finally the blond leaned in and kissed Paige on the cheek and walked away. Paige turned towards the bar again and Emily ducked out of the way. All those years playing A's games had brought one positive effect and that was making her the ultimate hide-and-seek champion. She managed to duck behind some tall tables and then scurried on to the other side of the bar without looking back.

"Em, hey, what are you doing?" Hanna asked when she saw Emily skulking back to her seat. "So? Was it her? Did you talk to her?"

"It wasn't her," Emily said.

"It wasn't? But you were so sure before."  
"Well, I was wrong. So can we just go now?! Please!"


	9. Chapter 9: All washed away

**Authors Notes: Another chapter coming in a bit late. The next one will be in sooner, and I will hopefully be able t turn in a couple of chapters at a time since I have been spending some time mapping out the plot line. That is why I have been toying with the idea of changing the name of the story. The current name is something that I chose very hastily, mostly because I wanted to start writing already and not spend forever picking out a name. But recently, another name has been surfacing a lot in my mind and I think it would be more appropriate and fitting with the theme and plot of the story. Please let me know how you would feel about the change of name this far into the story. Other, general reviews, good or bad, are always also welcome as well. Thank you for your patience.**

Emily was feeling off the entire rest of the weekend and the sensation didn't show any sign of dying down as the next school week opened up. Fortunately she didn't have any large assignments to turn if because she would have definitely messed them up, her head being miles away. For some reason she couldn't get Paige and the blond woman out of her mind. She would get lost in thought in the middle of a lecture or a conversation, wondering if they were together at that moment, what they were doing? What was her name? What role did she play in Paige's life?

She was definitely successful. Emily had figured that much. Paige herself seemed to have her life all figured out. She was a successful academic and had actually found a way to make something of herself that she enjoyed and benefited other people. It was therefor only natural that she would choose a girlfriend that was in a similar place in her life. Maybe they had met through university, at some fancy Stanford event meant for the ambitious and successful, while Emily had been foaming cappuccinos and cleaning tables. No wonder Paige offered to help her. She had probably seen that Emily was down on her luck and taken her on as a charity case. There was probably nothing more to her taking interest in her. They weren't equals, competitors and classmates like they used to be, back when Emily had still been young, naive and hopeful. No, this was definitely a case of charity, another extension of a bloody olive branch!

When Tuesday rolled around Emily was even more on edge than usual. Her evening shift at the cafeteria had been unusually strenuous and she had not been able to get a good night's sleep after it although she had been completely exhausted when she got home. The lethargy spread out over her body and she felt its cold stings like pinpricks, constant and piercing. When she finally got to the pool she was running late after having had an especially unpleasant conversation with one of her lab partners which had escalated into a full blown argument.

"Hey there," Paige said when she noticed Emily emerging from the door. "Are you ready for our session."

"I don't really know about that," Emily said. She felt like a mess and no doubt looked like it too.

"Just take it easy," Paige said. She was already out of her slacks and was stretching on the bank of the pool. "Get in whenever you're ready and we'll get started."

When Emily approached a little more and Paige got a good look at her she saw how her hopeful glance dropped.

"Emily, are you sure you're okay?" she asked concerned. "You look a little off. Are you coming down with something."

"No I'm not... I just," suddenly she felt something snap in her head. All the doubt that she had been trying to hold back broke back its barricades and poured into her mind and then straight out of her mouth. "You know what? This is who I am now, and this is how I look. And if it doesn't meet your standards then you should maybe be working with someone else."  
"Emily, we're not working together. I'm just volunteering some time to help you," Paige looked puzzled.

"Oh, that's right. I'm your charity case. Is that something they taught you at Stanford? Do they give you extra credits if you take on one less fortunate soul or adopt a lost puppy?"  
"Where is this coming from Emily?" Paige seemed to be growing angrier, despite her best attempts to hold it back.

"You know what? Let's just not do this. It was a bad idea. Let's just forget ever having bumped into each other. You should go back to your nice little life and the nice, pretty people that it includes and forget about the likes of me!" 

It was past midnight when Emily finally got home. After having left a dumbstruck Paige at the natatorium, she had rushed out, left her bike locked next to the university and wandered aimlessly until she finally found her way home in the pouring rain. She was shaking to the bone and was sure that her wet trek would come back to bite her. Still, she couldn't shake the idea that maybe she should just get back out there and let herself rain down. She threw herself into bed and sobbed into her pillow.  
How did she always manage to mess things up like this?


	10. Chapter 10: Sleepwalking

Emily endured a very fitful sleep that night once she had finally warmed up enough to slip into slumber. She dreamt of a place that she knew all too well -it was Rosewood. But she herself wasn't sound of mind in her dream. She wandered around almost drunkenly with no control over her movements. She knew where she was and yet she was lost. Her hands were grasping something, they were covered in dirt. She was standing at a dug up grave! She tried to scream but the sound was stuck in her throat. She tried furiously to get away, to wake up, to snap out of it!  
With the blink of an eye she was in a different place; she was standing in a house. She blinked furiously and looked around, trying to figure out exactly where she was, but to no avail. Finally, she heard a familiar voice. But who was it?

"Em? Em, are you okay?"

She was unable to lift her head up and face the person that was addressing her but by concentrating on the floor in front of her she could make out a pair of black Converse shoes. A maddening, ringing noise drilled into her head as the scene faded away and turned into her dingy bedroom wall. Her alarm was going off next to her. She sighed and turned it off, feeling no desire to get up and face the day. Contrary to the confusing dream that she had just had, yesterday's events were not something that she could simply snap out of.

_

The regular crowd was present in the library and Emily craned her neck to see if she could spot a free cubicle. She finally located one in the back corner and scrambled to get it before anybody else got the same idea. She was meeting Oliver in an hour for a study session and decided that she might as well get some reading done while she was waiting. Once she sat down however, the words danced before her eyes and she was unable to concentrate. She leaned her head against the cubicle and gnawed her bottom lip as she went over yesterday's events. She could for the life of her not figure out why she had said what she did. Nobody was forcing her to see Paige, yet she had snapped at her like she had agreed to the meetings under torture or something. And what business of hers was it that Paige had a personal life or what she did in said personal life? Shouldn't she just be happy that her ex-girlfriend seemed happy and fulfilled, or just skip meddling with her life entirely? She felt her eyelids beginning to droop...

"I wonder what Paige thinks of me now..." was Emily's last thought before she drifted off.

She was back in the house from last night, still staring at the shoes of the person that was yet again trying to address her.

"Em, can you look at me?"  
Her head was droopy, heavy like led. She struggled with lifting it up a little bit. She felt the other person putting their finger on her chin and tipping her face up, yet not managing to lift her gaze up to eye level. The other person then bent down to meet her eye. A younger, concerned looking Paige stared at her. The scene started dissolving yet again. Emily was falling though time and space.

 _"You were with me."_

"Emily, are you with me?"  
Emily snapped awake, realizing to her horror that she was not lying in her bed, but face down on her chemistry book. There was someone shaking her shoulder. She turned around to find Oliver.

"Hey Emily, are you okay there?" he asked.  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I must have dozed off for a little bit. What time is it?" she said and rubbed her eyes.

"It's six thirty. We were suppose to meet two and a half hours ago. I went here to start our assignment when you didn't show up in the cafeteria. Little did I know that you've been snoring a couple of cubicles away from me for the last two hours."  
Emily felt her face turn scarlet.

"Oh my god Ollie, I'm so so sorry," she said, her voice starting to crack. "I've just been having the worst week and to top it all off I didn't sleep too well last night. I'll finish the assignment to make it up to you -I promise!"

"I've actually already finished it," Oliver said, seemingly non-concerned by her failure to show up. "That's what I've been doing for the last two hours while you were catching up on sleep. I'll tell you what; let's go down to the Corner Café, I'll let you look over what I came up with for our assignment and to show your immense gratitude you can use your employee discount to get us some coffee. What do you say to that?"  
"I would really, sincerely love that."

"This is really fantastic Ollie," Emily said while looking over what her friend had written. "However, I'm afraid that it's littered with quite a lot of spelling errors."  
"Captain Dyslexia strikes again," Oliver said and zipped his coffee. "Can you look it over for me?"  
"Of course," Emily said. "I'll do it tomorrow night so it will be polished up when we turn it in on Friday morning. At least then I'll feel like I'm contributing something..."  
"You are. You totally are. I couldn't do this without you. Now I want have to get emails from perplexed professors asking me what I meant with 'the combination of heterogen and halogen...'"  
"I remember when you called me in a panic over that," Emily said laughing and imitated Oliver's voice, hissing: "Some just shoot me right friggin' now!"

"Yeah, luckily I didn't get around to incorporating the entire Kinsey Scale into the elemental table. But, moving away from my issues with the alphabet," he closed Emily's computer. "Can you now please tell me what's been eating at you? You look like you've been paraded naked through campus. You can't think it's that embarrassing to fall asleep in the library. We've all been there.

"Gosh! That was just the cherry on top. I guess I have to start at the beginning..."

Emily and Oliver shared four more coffee cups between them while the former went through the painful and sometimes wonderful story that had been her time with Paige McCullers. The story concluded in yesterday's events which Emily disclosed with a defeated expression:  
"...and then I just stormed out. I don't know what came over me. I couldn't apologize. I couldn't explain. So I just ran away."

"Well, I'll be damned," Oliver said.

"What?"  
"Nothing."

"Tell me!"

"You want the truth?"

"Yes."

"All the truth? Nothing but the truth?"  
"So help me god yes! Just give it to me Ollie! No reading between the lines. Just say it."

"In my humble opinion, which we both know tends to be stunningly accurate..."

"In your HUMBLE opinion..."

"Hey! Want my advice or not?"

"I'm sorry. Carry on."

"Like I said, it seems to me that there are a couple of things in your life that are sore subjects. Things that you feel that are unfair and out of your control. With most things you are able to keep a cool head, keep yourself detached in a way. But there are these certain things that are harder to manage, and just managing one of them at a time puts a great emotional strain on you. They include but don't necessarily limit themselves to your swimming career, your past relationships and the fact that you dropped out of university a couple of years back. And the last week has mixed all three of those things together, which makes it logical that they started bleeding into one another and you simply buckled from the pressure."

"That doesn't excuse what I did. I was a total ass. And meddling in things that are very much not my business."

"There is a big difference between making sense of what you did and excusing it. I'm doing the former -not the latter."

"So, that's it then? It's understandable that I did what I did, but it's not excusable?"

"It is if you want it to be."  
"But that doesn't put things right with Paige. She didn't deserve to be treated that way."

"No, she did not. She seems like an OK sort."

"How do I put this right? Do I go to her and explain all the stuff that we just discussed?"

"Well, no, I don't think so."

"But how else can I make things right?"

"Emily, in my experience, when you mess things up, people usually don't want to hear why you did it. It's not about you, it's about them and the fact that you hurt them. So, the best solution is just to say that you're sorry."


	11. Chapter 11: Is it too late to say sorry?

Paige McCullers took a little longer than usual to get ready for her afternoon swim. Once she was in the natatorium she strolled around the pool, tested the water with her hand and finally she ended up with sitting on the banks with her legs dipped into the pool. Sitting there, making small splashes and contemplating on the week's event she realized that she was still a bit shook up from Emily's behavior two days ago. As a therapist she was used to patients often being frustrated and sometimes they could even be a bit rude to her when things weren't going their way. That was perfectly reasonable, she understood that, esspecially as a former competitive athlete failures in your body could make you feel like betrayal from your most trusted source, the thing that you could usually count on to perform. That could make people feel anxious and annoyed. But there was something about Emily's words that had hit a little harder, stung a little deeper. Whatever had happened in her life since the time that they had parted had made her insecure and so bitter about the idea that other people were living their life.  
Paige's phone beeped. It was Cat, asking her to a concert with yet another band that she had never heard about. Paige sighed. That was so typically Cat; she almost didn't listen to a band unless their music only got published on clay plates. Paige herself would much rather go to a choc full stadium, enjoying jumbo screens, coerographed dancing routines and popular hits. But Cat had suffered with her through the last Beyoncé world tour concert so she could probably humour her by drinking overpriced Pale Ale in a sweaty hole in the wall where Cat's latest 'next-big-thing-and-when-they-become-big-I'll say-I-only-like-their-old-stuff' played to an audience of half a dozen people.

"I'll check my schedule," Paige texted back.  
"We all know that means BAIL in PaigeSpeak," she received promptly back. She chuckled and texted back: "Okay, fine. I'll reserve that night for your underground sensation."

She was hitting the send button when she realized that she wasn't alone anymore. There was someone standing next to her. Her first reaction was to twitch involuntarily and that made her mobile slip out of her hand. The person -who turned out to be Emily, watched along with her with a horrified expression as the device made a double sommersault before plunging into the water with a small 'plop'. Emily looked at Paige for a fraction of a second, then proceeded to strip off her shoes and jacket and dived into the pool.

"Wait, you don't need to..." Paige started but the raven haired woman was already submerged and could not hear her.

Paige waited for what felt like hours. Finally, when she thought she didn't see Emily moving at the bottom of the pool anymore did she take off her slacks and dip into the pool after her. The moment that she was in the water she noticed that the other girl was pushing herself towards to surface.

"Why did you go after me?" Emily asked.

"I thought you had been under for too long," Paige said.

"I know how to hold my breath," Emily pulled herself back up to the bank and extended her hand to Paige who grabbed it. "It was always my edge."

Emily yanked Paige from the pool and handed her the mobile.

"It's probably ruined, but maybe you can save the SIM-card," she said apologetically.

"Don't worry about that," Paige said and grabbed her towel from the bench, wrapping her mobile in it. "I got a waterproof one ages ago. I got tired of replacing it every time I accidentally threw it in with my wet towel."

"Oh," Emily said and Paige could have sworn that some red was creeping into the other girl's cheeks. "I didn't know."  
"I didn't exactly have time to tell you," Paige said with a smirk. "You just dove after it like it was hidden tresure."

"Well, if you had lost it I would have felt like it was my fault," Emily muttered. "Among other things..."

"What do you mean?"  
Emily seemed to struggle to find the right words to say:

"What I mean is that how I behaved yesterday was uncalled for. I was having a shabby day and acted like an ass to you. But you don't need to hear about that. All you need to hear is that I was wrong and that I'm sorry."  
"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. Okay."

"Okay. So, goodbye then."

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"I've said what I needed to say."

"But we never finished your evaluation."

"Wait. You still want to do that for me?"  
"I don't see any reason not to since we're both here."

"But I didn't bring any stuff with me."  
"So you were just going to walk home in those wet clothes?"

"I wasn't planning on taking a dive when I got ready for school this morning..."

"I have an extra swimming suit in the car. I'll tell you what: how about we finish the evaluation while you dry your clothes in the dressing room?"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Would I be offering this to you if I wasn't sure?"

"Are you going to answer all my questions with a question?"  
"Are you?"

"Fine," Emily laughed. "Point taken. You win."

"Great," Paige said and fished her keys out of her bag and threw them over to Emily. "My car is parked behind the building. The spare suit is in a blue bag in the trunk."

Emily grabbed the keys and walked to the door. Paige let out a relieved breath. She was glad that Emily had decided to come to her and apologize. She wasn't sure what they were right now: friends, acquantances, ex-girlfriends, but she was glad that they hadn't left things on a sour note. She used her key to the trainer's lounge and got out the camera equipment that was used to record the swimmers. She was finishing the set up when Emily came back, this time wearing on of her swimming suits.

"So, what do you want me to do?" Emily asked.

"Just get into this lane and do your usual swimming routine," Paige said and pointed to where she had just set the camera equipment up. "The came will record your movements which I will review later, so I hope that you don't mind that I finish my own workout meanwhile."

"Of course not," Emily said. "Last one in is a stinker!"

Emily finished her final lap a little while after Paige was already out of the water and pulled herself up to the bank with some difficulty.

"Are you okay?" Paige asked as she handed her a towel.

"I'm fine," Emily said. "The last laps always get a little difficult. It's normal."

"Do you usually swim until you start getting pains?"  
"Yeah. There seems to be a certain threshold that I just can't get over. And I can't improve because of it. Only maintain what I already have."

"Hopefully, the recording can tell me a little as to why. You could also probably improve your speed a little if you'd just stop checking me out."

"I wasn't... I wouldn't..." Emily blushed yet again. "I wasn't checking you out. Not like that anyway..."

"I know Em," Paige said and blinked at her. "I used to do the same thing all the time. At every tournament that I went to for Stanford I would survey the other girls that swam before me, try to see if they had some secret technique that was giving them and edge and could benefit me if I adopted it."

"Well, you must have picked up a lot. I mean, don't get me wrong, you were really good back in Rosewood but now, now you swim like a professional."

"Aw, don't make me blush."

"It's true," Emily said as she fished her clothes up from the heater. She tried to maintain a blank expression but her scowl gave her away.

"Are they still wet?" Paige asked.

"Wet? No. But a little moist," Emily answered. "It'll be fine, really."

"Emily, it's cold outside. You shouldn't walk home in wet clothes."

"They're not that wet."

"Still. You gain nothing from catching a cold. I'll drive you home."

"You don't have to."

"I know. But I want to."

The wind had picked up its speed once they got to Emily's street and the raven haired woman feared for her bike which she had left chained next to her house yesterday -she should have probably brought it inside.

"So, got any grand plans this evening?" Paige asked, making conversation.

"I need to proof-read an assignment that I'm doing with a friend," Emily cackled. "Or, he's working on more like it. I seem to be only weighing him down."

"That's nonsense. You would never let someone else do all the work. At least not the Emily that I knew."

"True. I'll pull my load tonight. Hopefully. How about you? Any exciting rendezvous that I'm keeping your from?"

"Well, paperwork, if you consider that to be exciting."

"Oh, it's a hoot."

"I do have a life you know."

"Oh yeah? You must tell me what it's like. I feel like I haven't had one for a while."

"You haven't? I could have sworn I saw you at a concert a couple of nights ago. Or was that your evil twin? You, know, the concert, in that place...with the ban?"

"That place with the band and the music?" Emily asked sarcastically.

"Sorry, I don't really remember the name of either of the things. It's not really my scene. I went at the request of someone else."

"Oh yeah?"

"It's a long story..."

 _"I have time,"_ Emily wanted to say but caught herself and had to remember what she had promised herself. _"It's none of my business,"_ she told herself and responded instead with: "Yeah, it wasn't really my scene either. But I ended up having a pretty good time."

"Yeah. Me too," Paige said and smiled. "Anyway, if I book an appointment for you to get an X-ray and a sonar, will you go?"

"Of course."

"Good. You didn't seem so co-operative a couple of days ago."  
"I was a great ass a couple of days ago."

"Don't be too hard on yourself Em," Paige said and caressed Emily's arm reassurringly. Her phone buzzed and she pulled her hand back, like she had just gotten burned. "It's alive!"

"I guess that's my cue," Emily said. "I'll see you around."

"Sure thing," Paige said and smiled. "Don't be a stranger Emily."


	12. Chapter 12: Old wounds

Paige sent Emily a request for a new appointment a week later:

"Pictures are in. You free on Saturday?"  
"When are you going to learn, Saturdays are not office days? ;)" Emily texted back. "Yes I'll be there. What time?"

"11?" her phone pinged back.

"When do you get up on the weekends? Okay. See you then :)." Emily texted back and felt a smirk that she couldn't hold back spreading over her face.

Emily got the right office this time around but decided to tap politely on the door before entering.  
"Hey," Paige said, turning around in her chair, away from the stack of papers on her desk.  
"Hey there," Emily said. She gestured to the tray that she had in her hand. "I hope you don't mind. I went to that café we went to a couple of weeks ago. You must go there a lot, because they asked if I was the Americano that was with McCullers some days ago."  
"Yeah. I have gotten a little hooked on their java lately," Paige said and chuckled. "Did they give you my regular?"

"Capuccino, two shots and one pump of hazelnut," Emily placed a medium sized cup with PAIGE scribbled on its sleeve on the table.

"You're a life saver. I was thinking about making a run there before our appointment but then I got sidetracked by this report and I didn't finish it until too late."

"I hope it wasn't my report."

"No. Don't you worry about that. Believe it or not, there are people that come in to see me that are so much worse off than you. Unfortunately, often I can only lessen their symptoms -not cure them."

"That must be really tough," Emily said and sat down.

"It is. Anyway, to get to your case," Paige sprung from her chair and retrieved a thin file along with a model that looked like a vivisected upper part of a torso along with the upper arms.

Emily dragged her chair closer to the table where Paige had positioned the model and was in the process of laying out large printouts of her photographs.

"These are the shots that got taken in your X-ray," she said and pointed to the photos on the left. "They bring excellent news. There is no damage to the bones or the large ligaments. No cracks, no splinters. In fact, I took the permission to call your old doctor and get him to send me the photos that got taken when we were back in Rosewood. It turns out that your shoulder looks much better than it did when you originally got injured. The body has some truly remarkable ways of healing itself."

"So, what's causing the pain?" Emily asked puzzled.

"That's where I had to truly start the research," Paige said and took a large zip of her coffee before continuing. "I looked over the video and confirmed your comment about the pain starting when you´re finishing off your laps."

"How can you judge when I'm in pain from a video?"

"Because, in the beginning, all your movements are calculated and symmetrical but in the last quarter, the movement of your right arm gets rickety and you move more with your other limbs -you're subconsciously trying to shield your injured arm while the rest of your body scrambles to make up for its dwindling capacity."

"Wow, that's a very throughout diagnosis from a video."

"It gets even more technical," Paige said and grinned. She was definitely, without a shadow of a doubt in her element while making this diagnosis. "Which brings me to the sonar. It shows that your muscles are not aligned in an ideal position. They seem to be dragged together at an unnatural angle, which is in return making you slouch like you are doing now."

Emily straightened her back self-consciously.

"Which made me suspect something that I wanted to see if I can prove today," paige said and reached for the collar of Emily's shirt. "Can I?"

Emily nodded and tried to remain relaxed as Paige peeled her right sleeve from her arm and let that part of the shirt hang loose from her back.

"If I'm not wrong, there should be a swollen patch right around here," Paige said and prodded between Emily's shoulder and collarbone, making the other girl flinch. "Bingo! You can fix your shirt now."

Emily got her shirt on again while Paige turned towards the model.

"So, what does this mean?" Emily asked.

"It means that your body is trying to protect you, but doesn't know how to do so efficiently, so it does a hack job at it," Paige said and pointed at some muscles on the modeled torso. "The muscles over here got injured when you got hit by that car all those years ago and it reduced their capacity. Your body responded by growing a sort of an inside band-aid over the wound. This is known as scar tissue. It's the swollen thing in your shoulder that hurt when I prodded it. You can move around in normal situations just fine because the rest of your arm has found ways to compensate for your reduced capacity, however you always shield yourself without knowing it when it comes to using the muscles in question. But when you start over-exerting yourself, say, like when you are pushing yourself that final lap when you're swimming, your scar tissue starts tearing up, causing you pain and exposing the disfunctioning muscles it has protected for so long."

"Wow," Emily said, the wind knocked out of her. "That's a pretty hefty diagnosis."

"Not really," Paige smiled optimistically. "Don't let all the fancy medical lingo scare you. I have been mapping out a treatment that should be perfect for you. I will give you some excercises that you can do on your own and you will come here once a week for some administered treatment."

"You make it sound so simple," Emily said, feeling a lump form in her throat. "But Paige, I don't have any money to pay for that kind of treatment."

"Emily, this is a life improvement therapy that a person should not be denied of because of money," Paige said. "I'll tell you what; I'll schedule our appointments on Saturdays. The practice isn't officially open then but I'm usually here doing my research or paperwork anyway. You won't get charged if there's nobody around to charge you."

"You would do that for me?"

"Absolutely. Just promise me you'll get back to Coach Fullton or he'll have my head."

"I will. Thank you so much Paige," Emily said as she got up. "I should probably go now. I don't want to keep you from your work anymore and I agreed to pick up an extra shift this afternoon."

"You're probably right. If paper was water I would be drowning."

"You? Nonsense. You'd always manage to keep your head above water."

"I don't want to do just that. I want to swim in it. Tame it. Be its master!"

"Maybe you already are," Emily said. "I'll see you next Saturday Paige."

 **Author's Notes: So there it is, the reason for my name change. I took a liking to the idea because it also represents so much more in the story, old wounds that haven't healed right. I hope you are all content with it and feel that it makes sense. I wrote a part of the last chapter from Paige's POV at the request of a reviewer and would also love to hear your thoughts on that and anything else that you can think to point out to me. I am finally on a roll with the story and more chapters will follow soon.  
With best regards,  
WhiteSpidey.**


	13. Chapter 13: The pain that you know

Emily was at the bus station a few minutes early this time around. It had been two weeks since she and Paige had decided on their Saturday appointments and she was getting into the habit the habit of rising early on Saturdays, even though she used to consider it a rest day. She had been working until late the night before but had still managed to get a good nights sleep, falling into sweet slumber almost immediately when she laid her head on the pillow. She had even managed to get up early, shower and put on some new clothes before she went out. The bus sailed lazily around the corner and once she was inside her mind wandered back to the Saturday before, the first official day of treatment. She had been very nervous, not really knowing what she was suppose to expect when she showed up that day, but Paige's relaxed demeanor had calmed her down.

"Just lie down on the bench and we can get started in a moment," the auburn haired woman had said and turned towards her. She had rolled her chair towards her. "Okay. So I will be massaging the affected area. We will start slowly since this isn't something that can be rushed. I have to warn you; this is going to hurt."  
"I have grown accustomed to pain," Emily had said, the bitterness that she tried to hold back dripping off her words.

"You have grown used to the pain of a wound that is not healing right. This will be something else entirely. A pain that you do not know can be much scarier than pain that you know," Paige had said and with a concerned look. "Just promise me that if it gets too much then you will tell me and we can call it a day."

Paige hadn't been wrong. The pain was excruciating in a way that Emily did not quite know how to handle, but she had gritted her teeth and tried to concentrate on something else while the other woman had rubbed the swollen area on her shoulder. But she had gotten through it and she planned to do the same this time around. Because sometime during that time, while she tried to think of anything other than the pain that was rippling through her body, that she had gotten to the conclusion that whatever she was to Paige, she would be content with things as they were. Everything else would be selfish and incredibly careless. She would be putting her in an awkward position, the woman that was trying to help her without expecting anything in return, jeopardizing her chance to get proper treatment for what had been bothering her for years and last but not least, opening up old wounds that she probably didn't have the courage to deal with. 

When Emily got to the practice, she noticed that Paige had already set everything up; the bench that she laid down on while the treatment was administered and an enormous looking lamp that Emily had no idea as to how was suppose to work.

Once she had laid down she tried to make conversation with Paige:

"So, the gigantic thing over there, are you having a harder time than usual squinting over your notes?"

"No, nothing like that," Paige said and let out a giggle. "It's for you, after the massage. It helps your muscles to heal faster, since easing the tissue apart can be quite invasive. Is it less painful today than it was last week?"  
"It is," Emily said. "Or maybe I'm getting used to it. Like you said, it's the pain that you don't know that's the worst."

"Okay, that's great. Just let me know if it's getting too intense."

 _"Too intense,"_ Emily thought to herself. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that the person leaning over her used to be so much more to her than an almost-stranger. She knew that touch, even though today it was detached and professional. God, she even had the same scent that she used to...

A sharp sting came in, ripping her from her thoughts and as Emily tried to keep herself from yelping in pain she caught a glimpse of Paige's face. The other woman had a calm and caring expression, seemingly emerged it her work. There was something about how she worked that reminded Emily of the way that she was when they swam together -fiercely concentrated and yet somehow at peace. Completely present and focused on the task before her. And thus she was brought back to the conclusion that she had already came to last week. This was Paige's profession and she was good at it. The only person that was making this out to be anything more than that was Emily herself. And she had to snap out of it.

"Okay, I think this is enough for today," Paige said after a while and got up.

"Really? I'm fine. I can handle more. I'm getting used to the pain," Emily said.

"I know you can Emily. It's just that this is a process that can't really be rushed," Paige said and smiled apologetically. "So we need to pace ourselves. It's not a sprint -it's a marathon."

"Right," Emily said and observed as Paige adjusted the lamp to fit over her shoulder.

"Now, you're going to feel a little warmth. You might even get little tingles in your arm. That's okay, it's normal. It's actually kind of good because it means that your body is healing. But this part is not suppose to hurt so you need to tell me if it does. I'll be right here the entire time."

Emily nodded as Paige moved away from her. The other woman sat back down at her desk and started scribbling.

"You don't even get time off during the holidays?" Emily joked.  
"It's not really required of me to be doing this right now," Paige said and Emily could hear her smiling even though her back was turned to her. "So, you have any grand plans this afternoon?"

"Gosh, no," Emily said and laughed. "It seems like I'm getting a little too old to be playing dress-up. Also, Ollie -my friend from the university, is out of town for the weekend. He went to be with his family. We even got some time off school because of Halloween so he left a couple of days ago so he jumped at the chance."

"So, you're just spending your holiday alone then?"

"Yes, I guess I am. But it's fine."

"Emily," Paige put her pen down and turned around. "I have a thing this afternoon, and I actually wouldn't mind you tagging along."

"What kind of thing are you talking about?"

"Just some people getting together."  
"You don't need to do this Paige. I don't want you to feel like you need to babysit me or something just because I'm your patient."

"It's not like that... Look Em, I get it. I really do. Going to university, away from everything and everyone that you knew, it's hard, especially when it comes to these type of things. It's easy to get disconnected from people and shut everyone out. And I don't want you to do that. Besides, I want you to come."

"Are you sure?"  
"Totally! It would be my pleasure."

_

The two women parked outside a large apartment building not too far away from the practice.

"I need to get a couple of things," Paige said and put the car in park. "You want to come in?"

"Sure," Emily said and unfastened her seat belt.

They walked together up the steps and into an apartment on the 4th floor. Emily took a look around .The apartment was small and simplistic but lovely. There was a large futon in the middle of the piece and all along the walls were shelves filled with books, except on one side where a shining mountain bike hung.

"You bike?" Emily asked excitedly.

"Yes, I do," Paige said and probed around in a chest of drawers. "I got into mountain biking after Stanford when I got that baby as a graduation gift. I take better care of it than my car."

She came to Emily with a pile of things.

"I don't have anything fancy like the stuff that we used to wear back at Rosewood, but there is a costume dressing code where we're going soooo which one do you want?"

Emily took a look at the things that Paige was holding:  
"I guess that I'll take the fireman's hat."

"Fantastic, I'll be right back. Can you see if you can find a tie somewhere in that pile?" Paige said and jogged through a door that seemed to lead into her bedroom. Emily was quick to find what the other women had inquired and used the time to look around the rest of the living room that she was in. Next one of the bookshelves there was a montage of framed photographs. There was a group photo from the Sharks celebrating a victory, one of the Stanford team too and one of Paige in her graduation robes along with some classmates. Emily picked one photo from the wall. She remembered it -she had taken it. It was of Paige, dressed up in a tux and hat, leaning against a train wall and looking into the camera.

 _"Tell me about love on your planet."_

She felt a sharp pang in her chest and put the photo back in its place as she noticed another one right next to it. A smiling, modern-day Paige was grinning on it, holding one of her arms over the blond that she had been with when Emily had seen her during the concert. The pang grew and Emily felt as if it was eating into her chest. She turned around to find that Paige had re-emerged. She was wearing a black jacket over a white shirt and held a top hat.

"It's not as good as it used to be, but it's something I just decided to stick to you know," Paige said and reached out for the tie that Emily held out. "You're great, thanks. Ugh. This is actually harder than it looks."

"Let me," Emily said without thinking and got the tie from Paige's hands.

"Great, thanks," Paige said once her tie was securely on. "I guess you're still good with your hands. Shall we get going?"


	14. Chapter 14: Costumes and Masks

It wasn't until Paige and Emily were back in the former one's car that the wheels in the latter one's head started turning and she became incessantly nervous. She had neglected to ask exactly where Paige was taking her and felt that right now would be a bad moment. What if it was some sort of family gathering, or worse, a dinner and a party with her new girlfriend and their friends? Emily was bound to stick out in that sort of situation like a sore thumb. Why had she agreed to do this? Was Paige still seeing her as some sort a lost puppy that needed to be saved and taken care of? She bit her teeth together and clasped her hands tightly together while she glanced over to Paige taking a right turn from the residential area into a bigger street. She looked excited and a little nervous even. What did she have to be nervous about? Was she regretting having invited Emily as much as Emily was regretting having accepted the invitation at the moment?

The place that Paige had driven Emily to was a large industrial complex that looked to be mostly occupied by offices. They got into the elevator and pressed the button for the 10th floor. When they got to the floor and through the doors to the left, Emily noticed a small sign that was kept in a place where it couldn't be seen unless you were already inside "Inner city LGBTQ+ organization".

"Um, Paige, what are we doing here?" Emily asked puzzled.

"Hm? Oh sorry. You didn't ask any questions so I didn't really figure out that I should explain anything," Paige said and smiled apologetically. "I got invited to this Halloween dinner party here and they said that they also needed some help with the organizing so I just figured 'why not?'"

"Is this the same Paige that I couldn't even drag kicking and screaming to a LGBT meeting back in Rosewood?" Emily grinned playfully.

"No. But yeah. Maybe," Paige struggled to find the right response. "That's just the thing Emily. I'm still me, but I'm different."

"Isn't that the case with all of us," Emily said with a pang of regret. "We've changed. But we're still the same. Sometimes I can't even figure if we're really better off like that."

"Well, isn't it a case of making the best of what we have?" Paige asked. "Come on. I'm already late so they could probably use the second pair of hands."

_

Emily turned out to have a great time preparing the dinner with the other volunteers. There were people there that were her own age along with many people that were younger. And like one of the volunteers explained to her "these kinds of events are the most important for the youngest participants. Many of them feel like they don´t really have anyone in their corner after they've come out of the closet. Some have even be disowned by their friends and family. Here, if only for one night, we can provide them with a place where they can just be themselves, meet people and not feel like they are always the odd one out. Do you know what I mean?"  
"Absolutely," Emily said. "I had some issues with my family at first when I came out, but it never got that bad. I can't even begin to understand what it would be like to be abandoned by them just because I was being who I really am."

"Unfortunately that's still a reality for many of those kids," Paige said. "There was a point where I thought that would be my reality."

"Really? You never told me..." Emily said, suddenly feeling like she was seeing a new facet of her ex-girlfriend.

"It's not a really fun story," Paige said and turned her face away. "But, enough about that. I think the first attendees are here."

Emily turned around and saw a couple of younger kids creeping into the door. They looked nervous but immediately lit up and saw the volunteers smiling encouragingly at them and telling them to make themselves at home. She turned back and looked at Paige who had a reassuring smile and watched how some of the kids approached her like they knew her, like she was a sort of a mentor or a big sister. Emily sighed as she caught her own reflection in a steel tray. And what had become of her self?

The dinner was off to a good start. They had decided to put everything on trays that were lined along the walls so that people could eat standing and circle the floor, mingling with each other. When everyone was done eating and the paper plates had been disposed of, one of the other volunteers nudged Paige's shoulder:

"It's time for the costume contest McCullers. And to respect tradition there needs to be a speech before it. It's your turn this year."

"Oh come on," Paige said. "Can't you make someone else do it?"

"Those kids look up to you. You would not want to disappoint them. Come on. You act all unprepared but I know in my heart of hearts that you would not have shown up with at least ten flashcards in your pocket."

"Touché. But I think I might be doing something different tonight."

"Okay. Just wing it McCullers. I know you'll do great."

"Okay, okay fine," Paige said and glanced over at Emily who smiled back reassuringly:  
"You'll do great Paige. I've only been here for a couple of hours and they all seem to adore you."

Paige got up to the stage, somewhat awkwardly, reminding Emily of the once shy teenager that she used to know. She dabbed the mic:

"Hey. Hello. Hello there. And hi to you too. If I could get everyone's attention. We will be giving out the costume awards soon. But before that there needs to be the yearly speech, and as my arm has been diligently twisted behind my back, thus have I decided with some brute force to volunteer as tribute this year."

"Go McCullers!" someone yelled out of the crowd and Paige blinked nervously while reaching for something in her pocket. She then stopped herself and pulled her hand back. "You know. Nevermind. I don't need the cards. I know exactly what I want to say. I've always noticed how important Halloween tends to be for the LGBTQ community, and many people from it, and I've always wondered as to why this is. And the conclusion that I've come down to is the following: on Halloween we wear costumes and we wear masks. We get to be someone else, even if it is just for a night. We can turn into someone that we've always wanted to be or try out something that we've been curious about and see whether we like it. It's a fancy dress up with no strings attached. We don't have to answer to anyone for our costumes. And for some of us, that's important because it's the only time that we feel that we can truly be ourselves. Speaking for myself, I would always dress up as bold women, because I felt like if I dressed up like them, I could somehow be like them, be brave and full of valor, if only for a night.

The other reason that I think so many of us like Halloween is the fact that we are so familiar with the concept of wearing a mask or a costume. Some of us have to wear one every day. We wear it to protect ourselves, because we feel that if we take it off people would not understand, that it's not safe for us to be in this world without a mask. But the mask, when kept on for long, starts to irritate our skin, and yet we are afraid to take it off because we have had it on for so long that we don't really know who we are underneath. We are afraid that we might not like the person that we are underneath. But contrary to the mask that we wear every day, the one that we wear for Halloween is one that we can take off. We can shed off the costume at the end of the night and be in our own skin. It's a metaphorical act for the emotional act that we so desperately want to be capable of doing: to be true to ourselves, without fear and without regret.

I myself have felt this way. I have not always been out and proud Paige McCullers. There was a time that I had on both a mask and a costume, so tight and for so long that I was sure that it had gotten stuck to my skin, that I couldn't possibly peel it off without losing myself in the process. Or worse, I would find myself and that I could not live with that person, and that I could not put the costume back on after knowing what it was like living without it. It was a horrible time and I felt as if it was everything that I had ever known. But it passed, and for you, every single one of you who is in here today, it too shall pass.

But I'm not up here today to only talk about myself. Because some time ago I crossed a person again that I think would make a perfect conclusion to this year's speech. She is the only person that I have known never to have lived with a mask. She is standing among you today and she was standing by my side at a time that I felt that nobody had my back. It was her bravery, her unwillingness to compromise, her refusal to hide what she was that eventually gave me the courage to come into my own. So tonight I want you to raise your glass, for yourself and the step that you have taken to come here, for your willingness to live your own truth, but also to my old friend Emily Fields -the ballsiest woman that I have ever had the good fortune of knowing."

Emily was gobsmacked. She was glad that Paige hadn't indicated where she was in the crowd because she had just realized that the moisture that she felt on her face were tears that had silently rolled down her cheeks while the auburn haired woman was concluding her speech. She raised her glass along with the others and heard someone yell out "For ballsy women!" and the rest of the crowd, along with Paige roared with laughter.

"All right you crazy kids," Paige said after taking a zip from her glass. "So the best costume awards go to..."

After the costume contest had been taken care of and the tables had been cleared, people took to the impromptu dance floor. Emily who had silently skipped to the bathroom to take care of her leaking mascara returned to the main hall to find that Paige was missing. She asked one of the volunteers where she was and he pointed towards the hallway. Emily walked outside to find Paige in the middle of a conversation:

"...yeah, it went just fine. Yeah, he told me I had to do the speech this year. It went just fine. I think they liked it. I know you wanted to be here. No, I'm not even remotely angry at you. It's not your fault that your boss decided to be an ass and mess everything up and then order you to clean up after him. You'll have his job soon enough if he continues like that. The people above are probably taking notes. Yes Cat, even despite the old boy's club. Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah. I wouldn't miss it for anything. Bye-bye."

She hung up and noticed Emily standing by the door:  
"Hey there. I didn't see you after the speech. I was afraid that I might have overdone it and that you had bailed on me."

"No worries," Emily said. "I just had to go to the bathroom. It was lovely, the speech I mean. All though I felt like you might have exaggerated my part a little bit."  
"I don't think so Emily," Paige said and Emily was struck by the sincerity in her voice. "I think you underestimate the role that you've played in other people's lives. Listen, I know that you have been feeling a little under the weather for a while now and I know that you don't want to disclose that fact to other people because you're so used to being the one taking care of others, not for others to take care of you, but I just want you to know that it's okay you know? You're allowed to let other people help you, there is no shame in it. I'm not doing what I'm doing for you because I pity you. I'm simply doing it because I feel that you've given so much of yourself to others over the years that you don't have a lot left when it comes to helping yourself, so I might as well give some back to say 'thank you'. So, there are no strings attached. You can trust me on that one."

"I do trust you Paige," Emily said. When the words left her mouth she heard the tracks inside being changed. "Are they really going to play that old song?"

"I know right? I think one of the old timers got hold of the computer," Paige said.

 _"We used to dance together to that tune,"_ Emily thought to herself. _"Maybe I should... No... It wouldn't be wise. It would put her in an awkward position and she's just trying to be nice to me."  
_ "What are you so perplexed about?" she heard Paige asking. Then a louder, ballsier voice took over the gnawing, insecure voice that had reigned in her head for so long:

 _"It's just a goddamn dance Emily! If she doesn't want to she can always say no. Stop postponing your life. Just take the plunge, dammit!"_  
"Do you want to, you know, dance?" Emily asked.

"Who's the one getting nostalgic now?" Paige said playfully.

"Look, you want to help me and that's fine," Emily said stubbornly. "I accept that and I want to thank you for it. So I want to thank you for it and this is what I can offer you."

"You were always a pretty mean dancer."

"I still am. So come on Paige. What will it be?"

"Okay, I'll let you have this dance."

 **Author's Notes: For the last scene, I always imagined that the song was "Dancing Away With Me Heart" in case anybody is wondering. Reviews are, like always, welcome. How are you liking the pace, turn of events, etc.**


	15. Chapter 15: Bump in the Road

Emily braced herself, took a deep breath and then plunged into the refreshing water. She felt her body morph into the water and sailed through for a few moments before beginning her strokes. She had already seen Coach Fullton again, a week after Halloween. He was over the moon about her decision to seek help for her problem and offered her to attend a couple of swim meetings which she had already done -one last week and one this week. She had however decided to take it slowly, attending one practice per week and then see if she could start increasing the load soon. Today however, she found herself unable to resist and decided to head alone to the natatorium for some more swimming. As she somersaulted and pushed herself off the bank she went over how her swim meetings had gone in her head. Her technique was still stellar, and she had noticed some of the other swimmers glancing at the way she splashed and stroked, wondering what her moves were. However, once she got back into the changing rooms she kept back, not really knowing how to approach her teammates. Instead she stayed in the shadows, pondering on whether they were anxious about her presence or felt like her late addition to the team would drag them down.

Emily was still emerged in thought when she neared the end of her final lap and was taking her last strokes when the sensation hit like a lightning coursing through her. It was stinging and for a moment she was unable to think clearly. At first she tried grabbing her right shoulder with her left arm but then realized that she didn't have any means to stay afloat and opted instead for balancing herself with her functioning arm and kicking her feet to close in on the bank. Once it was closing in she reached out to grab the it but reached the diving platform instead and held onto it. She took a few deep breaths, steadying herself, estimating what had just happened. She had suffered an injury, that was clear, but how severe it was she didn't really know. But one thing was for sure, staying in the water was not an option anymore. She tried hoisting herself up with one arm but miscalculated her force and heard the dull thud as she smashed her head into the platform. Stars danced before her eyes and she fought the grab a hold of something, anything as she had just lost her grip on the platform on the moment of impact. She managed to scratch a hold of the bank and clung onto it for dear life as she felt her head getting heavier. For a moment she could have sworn that someone was saying her name but it was probably all in her head. But then the voice grew and turned into a scream and she pulled her head up as far as she could -this was most definitely real.

"Emily, what happened? Oh my god." Footsteps closed up and someone was looming right above her. Arms got wrapped around her and she felt her body leaving the water as someone pulled her up to land.

She was being carried away from the pool in strong arms who eased her gently down to one of the benches. Then she felt hands cup her face and tip it upwards.

"Emily," Paige said, her face white from fear. "Can you look at me? Can you talk to me? What happened?"  
"There is a pain in my arm," Emily mumbled. "It wasn't there. Until suddenly...it was. And then I hit my head."

"Oh my god. Em, I don't know if you know this but you're bleeding."

"I am?"

"Yes. And I really think you need some medical help. Where did you leave your stuff?"

"It's in a blue bag. I left it next to the door to the lockers….I think," Emily felt a sudden onset of nausea.

"I'm going to go and get it okay? I'll be right back. Don't try to move."

"Couldn't even if I wanted to," Emily said and smiled weakly.

Paige's footsteps moved away before approaching again and Emily looked to see the other woman extending her arm to her:

"My car is parked just out front. Do you think you can walk there if I help you?"

"I'll try," Emily said and allowed Paige to pull her up from the bench. Paige threw a towel over her shoulders before she hoisted Emily's good arm over her shoulders and grabbed her waist. The two women moved slowly out of the natatorium and were safely inside Paige's car after a few minutes. Emily leaned her head back once she was in the passenger's seat and waited until the other woman was done throwing her stuff into the back seat and had gotten into the driver's seat next to her. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Emily heard Paige's voice again:

"You're not falling asleep are you?"

"No, I'm totally not."

"Good. I don't know how hard you actually hit your head. You could have a concussion."

"I'm fine. I'm totally fine. Why were you early today?"

"I got off work a little early. Since when do you care about that."

"I wanted to catch you when you came. Tell you my new time. I thought it would make you happy."

"It does. It's amazing Em. I'm really happy that you're in the swim team now."

"Yeah. But I don't know what's going to happen now…" Emily felt a clump building up in her throat.

"Calm down. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

"You promise?"

"I can't promise anything at this point Em. But I have a gut feeling. And it usually turns out to be right. Okay, we're here."

_

The lights in the inner part of the ER felt even brighter than the one's Emily had already endured in the waiting room and she squinted her eyes as she waited for the doctor to get back to her with her scans. She had already fallen asleep for a little while and was starting to grow a little impatient. A nurse had already been in to rule out that she needed stitches and closed up the gash on her forehead with a plaster and after that she had been left alone again. Paige had not been allowed to go in with her, as she was neither spouse nor family and she left her in the waiting room with the promise that she would be there once she came out again. She could hear some rustling on the other side of the curtain and the lowered voices of two women that sounded like they were nurses:

"Doctor Hamilton just called to say that the scans came back fine. No visible trauma or bleeding. So you can write her up and discharge her. She already wrote her up some nausea and anti inflammatory medicine."

"Should I notify the woman that she came in with?"

"No sweetie. We're not allowed. She's not family," the older of the two women lowered her voice even more and Emily barely managed to hear what followed. "At least not officially."

"Are they together?"  
"I didn't ask."

"Then why did you say that?"

"Oh sweetie, when you've been doing this job as long as I have, you just know. Anyway, off you go."

Emily laid her head down and closed her eyes as she heard footsteps approaching and her curtain being pulled back:  
"All right Ms. Fields. I have great news. Your scans came back fine and the doctor has prescribed you some medication for the next couple of days. You don't need to come for a follow up since we abstained from giving you stitches but we do recommend that you ask someone to stay with you tonight since you can never be too careful.

Paige's car parked next to her duplex and as Paige got out she repeated the same mantra that she had been doing the entire way over:

"It's no problem Emily. Really. You were given specific instructions not to spend the night alone, it would be irresponsible of me to allow you to ignore that."

"Okay, but I'm still fine," Emily said and got out of the car. She immediately regretted having gotten up so quickly because the world took a sharp spin before her eyes and she caught hold of the car door to steady herself.

"See? You don't have to act so tough all the time," Paige said and grabbed Emily's arm to support her. "Come on now. You should probably get cleaned up. You sort of smell like a chlorine factory."

The warm water in the bathtub was soothing and Emily felt how it soothed her aching body, even though she had just fought for her dear life to get out of water only a couple of hours earlier. She poked her plaster and winced in pain, stitches or not, she had definitely gotten herself hurt rather badly. She heard a soft knocking on the door.

"Come on," Emily said.

"Em, hi, I just realized that I didn't get you a towel or anything, so I brought you one and some PJ's. I'll just put them on the sink," Paige said, sounding awkward before she exited and closed the door again.

Paige was sitting on the couch when Emily exited the bathroom, wearing the auburn woman's tank top and boxers.

"Hey, how's your head," Paige asked.

"Not great, but it's getting better," Emily said and smiled.

"But you're much more worried about your shoulder."

"Well, yeah. Wait, how did you know?"

"You're leaning in a way that shields it more than usually. You're afraid that if you bump into something it will hurt it more."

"Can you get all that from body posture?"

"Body posture can say a lot. Also, you rambled rather incoherently about it when we were driving to the ER."

"Right. I don't really recall that."

"Will you let me take a look?"

"Sure," Emily said and sat down next to the other woman.

"Okay, let's just take a look. I'm sure it's going to be fine," Paige said and pulled Emily's hand delicately up.

"It sure didn't feel okay."

"Foreign pain usually feels a lot worse than pain that you know. Your body will often even avoid to do things that evoke new pain sensations and instead cling onto old habits even if they are more harmful in the long run."

"I'm starting to think my body doesn't really like me that much."

"Your body and your mind are not always completely in tune with one another. It's more like a relationship than one unit. And if there is a rift it will continue to grow if it's left untreated."

"Holding things together is a constant effort then?"

"Something like that. Okay, I think I figured out the issue."

"What's the verdict?"

"It's nothing too severe. You basically over-exerted one of the smaller muscles close to your cup… you know your shoulder cup. It probably felt so painful since you've not grown used to putting it out there for a while. You should just rest the arm for a couple of days and I'll give you some exercises that will warm it up nicely before the next time you plan to swim more lapses than you're used to. Okay?"

"I think I can get behind that," Emily said feeling a huge weight on her shoulder.

"Great, if you don't mind, I'll just put some kino-tape on you to make sure that you are posed in the correct manner."

"Doing the slouch again am I?"

"Just a little," Paige said and rummaged around in a chest of drawers. "Okay, here it is."

"Seriously, what don't you have in there?"

"Dead body?" Paige shrugged her shoulders and measured a couple of tape strips that she cut with a pair of scissors that she had also pulled out.

"I'd hope not!"

"No worries Em. With all my faults, that's one thing I never managed to swing."

"Well, that makes you the exception. Sometimes I felt like Rosewood was just piling up with people that got killed."

"Well, my parents didn't want me to leave for no reason."

"That's true. You know, I was so pissed at them back then, but I think I'm starting to understand where they were coming from."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I mean, I used to think that we were so grown up and could take care of our own issues back then with A and all those troubles but Paige, we were just kids."

"We were, weren't we?"

"Yeah. And like all the other kids we thought that we were so mature back then and we pursued things that were so way over our head. I guess I didn't realize that until I got a little older and started thinking things over again."

"Ahh, the magical powers of retrospect."

"So yeah, what I'm saying is that past me is still totally hurt about it, but today me sort of gets it. You know what i mean?"

"I think I do. And I also think that you are all set up."

"Great, and I can sleep with this?"

"Yes. You can keep it on for a couple of days and then we can get it off and see how things look. You are even safe to swim with it. Say, I'm getting a little hungry. How about you?"

"I could eat."

"I know this great take-out place. What do you say I call them and you find something for us to watch?"

"Sounds great."

Paige went into the kitchen to retrieve the take-out menu that she had pinned to her fridge and ordered her regular along with some things that she recalled that Emily used to like before she got back to the kitchen where Emily pointed optimistically to the tv.

"Okay, the food should be here in around twenty minutes," Paige stopped dead in her tracks. "Rudy? Seriously?!"

The girls ended up not only finishing Rudy but ended up finding a channel that was showing a christmas movie marathon and after a little bargaining Emily managed to sway Paige.

"It's November already. That means it's allowed."

When they were halfway into their second film, who's name escaped her, Paige noticed that Emily's excited chatter had suddenly died down. She turned her head and realized that the other woman was already fast asleep, her head drooping to the side and finally settling on Paige's shoulder, who tried not to stir out of fear to wake her up. The raven haired woman seemed to like her resting space because she snuggled in and ended up lying all shrugged together with her head dropping down to the other woman's lap. Paige gritted her teeth. She should move. Get up. Go into her room and get some sleep. She glanced over at her clock. It was already half past two. She sighed and turned the tv volume down and leaned back to get a little comfier with the added weight that had just been put on her.

"I might as well stick around to find out how this silly little thing ends."


	16. Chapter 16: In the Woods

As scary as the setback had felt to Emily, it turned out that Paige was very much correct in it being not a very big deal. After having woken up on the latter one's couch on Saturday morning to the smell of coffee and toast, she saw her again the following Wednesday, shedding the tape and feeling relieved as the other woman nodded in agreement while she watched her turn her shoulder on different angles.

"Great, I think you're good to go. Just remember to do the warm up exercises that I prescribed you. As much as I like playing a hero, I don't really fancy pulling you out of the pool again like that," Paige said while she packed her kit.

"Duly noted Doctor McCullers," Emily said and winked playfully.

"I'm not a doctor...yet."

"Yeah, but with this sort of dedication to your subjects you will be soon, no doubt."

"Well, the dedication plays a part, that's for sure."

"Want to go for a swim? I mean, I don't have practice today and since you're already here and I know you always keep your swimming bag in your car."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you're a chlorine addict, just like me. Takes one to know one."

"I guess that's true. Sure, I'd like that. This can be my Friday practice then."

"But whatever will you do on Friday then?"

"I don't know. Ride my bike maybe. I'm dying to take some new trails. I'm getting sort of fed up with my regular route. And the practice is closed after lunch because of a conference in Atlanta that most of the staff is going to, so it means that I can spend the whole day doing it."

"Well, I don't have any classes on Friday after lunch, so what do you say we meet and take you to somewhere you've never been?"

"You think you can take me somewhere that I've never been? I have treaded pretty much every single trail that lies around here."

"I don't think. I know. Come on Paige, come with me. Let's take the path less traveled."

"Only if you beat me on the last lap."

"Deal!"

It turned out that Emily was indeed able to surprise Paige on that warm Friday afternoon, and the latter one had to admit defeat after they had spent a couple of hours pedalling.

"Wow, how come I haven't been here before?" Paige asked as she pushed on to catch up with Emily.

"It's a well kept secret," Emily said. "One that only a selected few know about. We can stop in that clearing over there."

The two women got off their bikes and carried them up to the spot that Emily had indicated. She fiddled with her bike-bag and pulled out a plastic box, a thermos and a checkered blanket.

"You came prepared I see," Paige said and smiled.

"Well, we're not going to cycle back all that way on empty stomachs are we? Besides, you played such an excellent hostess to me the other weekend that I thought I might try giving you the same treatment."

"Have you ever heard of inviting people around to your house?" Paige asked. "Or, wait, is the plot twist going to be that this is really your house? Emily, all this time we were together and you never told me that you're really one of the Children of the Forest!"

"No, I'm not," Emily said and laughed. "My room -I mean apartment, is just a bit messy at the moment."

"I'd love to see it though. To see the lair of an all grown up Emily Fields."

"It's nothing to shout hooray for, I can promise you that. There is no window seat."

"No window seat? Unbelievable! How does Emily Fields do without her window seat?"  
"Not well. That window seat was the stuff, wasn't it?"

"Indeed it was. Some of my happiest memories in Rosewood were made right in that window seat."

"Yeah. Likewise."

There was a moment of silence that lingered between the two women like a thread. Emily thought back and the memories were almost as clear as the woman sitting before her right now. Her and Paige, sitting together, Paige with tears in her eyes and Emily holding her hand reassuringly. That kiss, their first of many in that window seat. She could almost feel it again, how Paige's lips had been soft and quivering, her cheeks wet from crying but her lips still bending up in a smile as the kiss deepened. She recalled her and Paige sitting there another time, an easier time, with tears in their eyes but this time from laughter, her then-girlfriend fooling around and making her laugh so hard that her stomach hurt. There was the time when her friends had turned against Paige, and they sat by the window, Emily's stomach turned into knots from worrying, but yet she had found solace in feeling her girlfriend's chest rise and fall as she sat behind her, steady and unyielding like a sturdy cliff in the midst of the ocean storm that had been their life back then...

"Emily, are you with me?" she heard the current day Paige asking.

"No, yes," Emily snapped back into the present. "I'm sorry. What were you saying. I zoned out."

"I was just asking if you come here a lot."

"Yeah I do. And I did, especially before I dropped out the first time around."

"Oh yeah?"

"It was just… when my dad died I didn't really know what to do, and how to be anymore. I just felt so angry. And when I was amongst other people, especially groups of people I just started losing it. I felt like, how dare they, you know? How dare they just going on with their lives like nothing had happened? How could they not understand that the world like I knew it was gone. How were they just capable of talking, laughing, making plans? I would go here to escape, I would even skip classes to go here, when the angry voice in my head just got too loud. It seemed like this place soothed it. It seemed that in places like this I could still be close to him…"

"It must have been so hard for you."

"It was. It still is. But I'm doing better now."

"That's good. I just want you to know, it's okay to be hurt and scared. You have lived through terrible ordeals. You feeling hurt by them just confirms that you're human."

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't. Life would be a lot more simple if I didn't have to feel all these things."

"It would. But then, would it really be worth it? You know, back in Rosewood, before I really got to know you, I used to live my life on autopilot. I would get competitive over sports sure, but apart from that I didn't really allow myself to feel anything about anything. I told myself that it was better that way, easier. But I think I knew all along that I was withering inside. Pain and sorrow can eat you up, but at least it does something to you, you know? Apathy just leaves you with that echoing chasm where you get to the point where you might as well not be alive at all."

"So, what made you change your mind about that?"

"I took a risk. a night when I kissed you in your car. I tried to think as little as possible while I was going there, getting to the car, because I was sure that if I thought it through I would chicken out and run away. So I just got up to the platform and plunged myself before I could think hard enough about it."

"You know, when you did that, I was so surprised that I didn't even know _what_ to think!"

"I know. I was too. I surprised myself. It was the bravest thing that I had done in all my life. And it changed everything for me. I know you might find it hard to believe since I still lurked around in that closet for a while, but at that moment the wheels in my head finally started turning again. I felt _something._ And yes, I was scared out of my mind, scared of how I felt, scared of anybody finding out, horrified at the idea of my dad knowing, but in the midst of these horrible feelings, there was also an excitement which was a feeling that I hadn't felt for so long that I had forgotten what it was like. I had done something that felt so real, so genuine. And even if it had led nowhere, like it felt all that time where I knew that it screwed everything up with us, I was at peace with it, because I had done something that actually, truly felt like who I really was. And that knowledge actually made me feel like my life was worth something again."

"Wow, Paige, I never knew that it had such an impact on you."

"How could you know? I never said. But I'm telling you now. So, whatever you feel, whatever you feel like you need to pursue Emily, you should just feel it and do it. Because no matter the result, fail or succeed, it will always be better than that horrible space of not knowing and not trying. Whatever you feel, it is the way you feel, so just stop spending all your energy outrunning it and put it into healing. This is your life and there is no wrong way for you to live it as long as you are true to yourself. You just have to try, Em. Just try."


	17. Chapter 17: Your Special Day

Saturday rolled around, bringing with it a gust of wind and reminded Emily that even if she was living in sunny California, autumn was here and winter was around the corner. She left her bike at home and opted for catching the bus to Paige's practice after having dug up a long coat and a scarf that she hadn't had any use for until now since she had returned to university. Once she got to the practice she found the auburn haired woman sitting, per usual, at her desk, but noticed that the pile on her desk was a little smaller than usually.

"Can what I see be true?" Emily asked playfully. "Is it the ever-so busy Paige McCullers, not drowning in paperwork."

"Well believe your eyes," Paige said and laughed. "Since my mentor is still at the conference in Atlanta and I just returned the latest chapter in my thesis to my instructor, once I finish this, I might actually be looking at a weekend off."

"Do you know what such things mean anymore?"

"I think I heard someone mention what it was once. But I wasn't sure if they were talking about a real concept or some kind of an urban legend."

"Could it be true?" Emily sang as she unbuttoned her coat and shirt before laying down on the bench.

"Well, it could well be," Paige said and rolled her chair towards the other woman. "Okay, ready?"

"Yup. Work your magic."

The women stayed silent as Paige warmed up the swollen area of Emily's arm with circular motions and then settled into the usual probing movements that sent short jolts of pain through the other woman's body, but having gotten used to the foreign sensation. She focused on her breath, letting the waves of pain travel through her while she inhaled and pushing them out as she exhaled. Despite the pain that the other woman's touch invoked in her muscles, she couldn't help to enjoy the touch where it originated from, now that she was getting better at managing the pain. Paige had the most curious hands, with ever so well manicured, short nails, slim, long fingers and a surprisingly strong and focused grip, and even though her touch was firm and determined, she moved over the damaged area with astonishing gentleness.

"Okay, that should settle you for today," Paige sat as she got up to retrieve the heat lamp. "Did your training on Thursday go okay?"

"Yeah, it did," Emily said as she watched the other woman while her back was turned to her. "I did the warm up that you told me to do and it turns out that it does wonders. I didn't even feel the buildup that I felt last time before I got hurt."

"See? Good things actually happen when you listen to me," Paige said in a snarky voice. "But you need to be mindful of the buildup though. It's perfectly fine for you to feel strained when you're training but you need to recognize the difference between that and when you are pushing yourself towards injury."

"I guess I'll just have to learn from this."

"That's usually how it goes. Okay, everything is where it should be now. You know the drill," Paige said as she rolled back to her desk and started reassembling her papers. "Oh and I almost forgot, happy birthday Em."

Emily bit her lip; she had been hoping that Paige would neglect that fact as she didn't want to draw attention to it. She stayed silent and hoped that the other woman would just let the subject go.

"Got any big plans?"

"I don't know yet actually," Emily said in a lowered voice, almost drifting off as she turned her face away. "Ollie is working until nine. I might get a drink with him after that if I'm up to it."

"That's nice. Not every birthday needs to be a high maintenance one."

"Yeah, that's true," Emily said as she tried to conceal her disappointment. She had already called Hanna, which had sounded unusually distant, saying that unfortunately she would be busy until late in the evening: "Can we take a raincheck Emily? Postpone it until tomorrow? I'm really sorry." Fortunately, the news had been delivered through phone, so EMily had been able to conceal her bitter disappointment in her best friend, which couldn't even provide a definitive answer as to what she was going to do that was more important than her friend's birthday.

Emily got pulled from her thoughts by a sharp pinging noise. She turned around to see Paige picking her mobile up from the desk:

"Sorry Em, I should probably take this," Paige said and walked to the door. "Just sit tight. I'll be right back."

Paige exited the room and Emily could hear her speak in a lowered voice out in the hallway:  
"Hey, fancy hearing from you. What's up? Yeah? You are? That's fantastic. You little devil you. Okay. I'll do that. Yup. You can count on it. Wouldn't miss it. Catch you later. Okay. See you then. Looking forward to it. Bye."

Paige re-emerged with an apologetic expression on her face:

"Sorry about that."

"No worries. Anyone I know?"

"That depends,. No. I don't think so..." Paige's eyes glazed over. Emily knew that expression; she was telling a fib. After all these years, Paige was still one of the worst liars that she had ever known, but she decided not to push the issue further, again reminding herself that what Paige did in her personal life was her own affair.

The other woman got back to the papers on her desk, glancing regularly on her phone that was laying next to her. Emily stayed silent, but watched as she bit her lip, gnawed on it for a while, combed her hair behind her ear nervously and then finally gathered her papers and put them in a brown folder that she stuck in a drawer. She was so emerged in her observation that when the machine beeped to signal the end of the cycle, she jerked violently and almost bumped her head but managed to pull herself together and resume a normal pose before Paige turned around:

"Alright Em. It looks like we're done for today."

The raven haired woman got up and started putting her shirt back on, while the other woman still fidgeted awkwardly around her. One Emily was finished buttoning up her coat and was getting ready to say goodbye she finally broke the silence:

"You know what, no. I'm not letting you leave here to spend your birthday all alone."

"Paige, it's fine. Ollie is calling me when he gets off from work and we'll do something."

"Yes, but that's hours from now. Are you just going to get home and twiddle your fingers until then?"

"I hadn't really thought that through."

"Then don't. It's your birthday Em. Let's go somewhere. Anywhere, really. I'll even let you pick what to have for lunch."

_

Paige's suggestion to get out for her birthday turned out to be a fantastic suggestion and Emily caught herself wondering why she had felt so opposed to it in the first place. It was right that they had history yes, but that didn't mean that they weren't allowed to enjoy each other's company. After all, they had a lot of things in common, more than just the fact that they had mutual interest in one another back in Rosewood. Paige parked the car next to the Country Mart and once they were inside an idea planted itself in Emily's head:  
"Can you wait for me here for a few minutes? I'll be right back."

When Emily came back from her errand carrying a brown paper bag in her hands, she was surprised to find that Paige was not there anymore.

"Hey, I just wanted to get something," Paige said, peeking out of a bookstore. "You got groceries?"

"Yeah. The weather is so beautiful that i figured I might as well have my birthday lunch outside," Emily said and smiled.

"That's a great idea Em," Paige said and handed her the keys. "Can you put the bag in the car? I'll be right there."

When Paige got back to the parking lot, the two women drove to the seaside where Paige opted for parking next to a golf course. The sun was out and despite the chill, the Malibu State Lagoon Beach looked stunning in the autumn colors. They took their shoes off, packing their stuff into a small backpack that Paige had in her trunk.

"Do you keep everything in there?" Emily asked playfully while they walked down to the beach.

"Well, almost everything," Paige said. "The elephant that I used to have in there escaped a couple of weeks back. I think I wasn't feeding it enough."

Emily stuck her tongue out at the comment and nudged Paige's shoulder playfully. Despite the season, there were still people at the beach; parents with their children and an old couple that walked alongside the edge of the beach, hand in hand.

"That must be nice," Emily said.

"You mean to be old and in love?" Paige asked.

"No, I mean, to have loved someone for so long, and loving them still, after all that time."

"You can see that all from here? For all you know, they could have met yesterday."

"Nah. They've loved each other for very long. Sometimes you can just sense it. I used to notice it with my parents. It was like an invisible thread between them that never broke. No matter what was going on or how much trouble I got in back in Rosewood, I always took comfort in knowing how much they cared for one another. It was one of the few stable things that I have had in my life."

"Do you still feel it?"

"I think so. Love doesn't stop just because someone isn't there anymore. At least I'd like to think that true love doesn't. It can transcend space and time, maybe even death."

They had reached the end of the beach, Malibu Point, where they took a seat and Paige dug around in the bag for the lunch that Emily had got them before. They ate in silence for a while, digging their toes into the sand, before Paige finally spoke:

"Do you think that once you've loved someone, that it ever goes away?" she asked and studied Emily's profile.

"No, I don't think so," Emily said and turned to Paige, looking at how the sun lit up her complexion. "I mean, I used to think so, but when as I got older I realized that wasn't really the case."

"How so?"

"You know how infatuated I was with Ali, right? I used to think that if she would just love me back, then we would be together forever and ever. But then she wanted to be with me and we made a go of it, and everything just felt so… off. It was then that I started thinking that love was something that could just come and go, that you could stop loving someone given the right reason and situation. But it wasn't until later that I realized that I never really loved Ali. I mean, don't get me wrong, I cared about her as a friend a great deal. But the love that I thought for her, it was more a case of loving the idea of her, the thought of what I thought being with her would be like. I loved Maya, and I think in a way I always will, even though she is gone. She taught me so much and I will always cherish the memory of that. And I also…" she stopped herself before the words left her mouth. The unsaid words hung between them.  
 _"I also loved you,"_ she thought to herself. _"But that's not really true is it, because I don't think that I ever stopped. But saying that will just open up a world of hurt."  
_ "Ah, this mushy-mushy talk reminds me," Paige said, breaking the silence. "I got you something while you were getting our lunch." She handed a brown packet to Emily. "Happy birthday Em."

Emily wrapped the paper off the packet that turned out to be a paperback:

"Beyond the Cliffs of Kerry?" she said, surprised.

"You still like bold women, right?" Paige said. "I read it a couple of years ago and really liked it so when I saw the paperback in the bookshop window I just knew that I had to get it for you."

"Thanks Paige."

"Don't mention it. Just tell me when you finish it. I'm dying to discuss it with someone and I can't get Cat or anybody else to read it. I think she'd rather die in a fire than open up a book of historical romance."

"Well, she doesn't know what she's missing," Emily said. She felt the question burn on her tongue but decided against it. _"It's your birthday. You don't have to open up this can of worms just now."_ Emily thought to herself. For now, she decided not to venture any further down the rabbit hole and just enjoy the fact that she had the sun on her face, Paige by her side and an exciting new tale to plunge into once she got back to her house.

It was getting dark once they got back to Emily's street.

"You're going to get cracking as soon as you get inside aren't you?" Paige said playfully.  
"Maybe just the first few chapters," Emily said. "After all, Ollie doesn't get off work in a few more hours."

She was so emerged in reading the book description that she didn't notice that there was someone standing in front of her house. She got out of the car absent-minded and was going to ask Paige if she wanted to come in for a cup of tea when she heard yelled out:  
"Happy birthday Em!"

The raven haired woman almost dropped her book on the floor and bumped into the car in a panic. Once she regained her composure, she looked up to find Hanna, Caleb, Spencer and Ollie standing next the her apartment, a banner spread over her front door and a small table with champagne and a cake next to it.

"You guys scared the living daylight out of me," Emily, feigning anger as she grabbed Hanna. "You oaf. I knew it was weird that you were busy."

"Busy planning your surprise party that is," Hanna said and laughed. "You know I wouldn't have missed it for the world. We even got you a long distance visitor." She pointed towards a touchscreen that had been posed on the table, showing Aria waving at and smiling. "When I told her about the plan she decided not to let the time difference stop her from attending, in one form or another."

Emily wasn't even sure what to feel anymore. The day that she had so far had been great, and even if it had ended with her getting home and crawling into bed with her book and asking Ollie for a rain check, she would have been completely content. A mixture of amazement and gratitude flowed through her as she hugged Spencer, Caleb and Ollie before turning back to Paige who had gotten out of the car.

"Did you know about this?" Emily asked.

"I might have, I might not have," Paige said with a mischievous grin.  
Emily lurched in to give her a heartfelt hug before she gave the other woman a tug:

"You lurker you! How? Why?"

"I think you should ask your friends as to how," Paige said. "As to why, the answer is very simple: You deserve it Emily. But I should go now. You probably have a lot to catch up with, especially with Spencer being here."

"Don't you want to stay?" Emily asked, suddenly feeling a sad pang in her gut.

"It wouldn't be fair of me," Paige said. "I had a really good time with you today, even if I was just a decoy to keep you from going home too soon and thwarting their devious plans. But I can't hog up any more of your time. Go spend time with your friends. They care about you Em, they really do, even though you don't always see it. And I want to know when you finish that book."

Paige walked back to her car and Emily had an urge to be able to say something when Hanna popped the champagne and poured it into five glasses, handing one to Emily.

"See you later Emily," Paige said before she rolled her window up. "Have a drink for me, will you?"


	18. Chapter 18: Can't get you out of my head

There was a weird feeling that lingered in the pit of Emily's stomach after she watched Paige drive from her house and disappear around the corner.

"...you could have stayed for one drink," she muttered but did not get a lot of time dwell on that thought because Spencer seized her by the shoulders and clinked her glass to hers:

"So Em, what's up? How's being back at Pepperdine?"

"It's good, my classes are actually going really well," Emily said and took a sip of her champagne. It was nice, expensive stuff, obviously something that Hanna had picked out. "How are things in DC?"

"They're good. But I might actually be looking to pack my bags soon."

"Oh yeah. Is your gig not working out alright anymore?"

"No. It's still going great. They have a lot of faith in me in the office. Even suggested that I might want to run myself -not for a big position of course."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's just… I never really took care of things back home before I came there. So many things in Rosewood and just the state in general are so wrong. There are so many gaps in the system that allowed the horrible things over there to happen. And we just left it all behind. Even when it came back years later to bite us in the ass, we still left the moment that we could."

"Well, we had stuff we had to get back to. Caleb and Hanna wanted a fresh start, Aria too obviously and I, I just wanted to get my life back on track. And you helped me getting that. You're really a miracle worker Spence."

"So you think it's a bad idea, me packing up?"

"No. Not at all. I'm saying that you'd do great, wherever you go. There are people everywhere that could use you."

"Aw, thanks Em."

"Guys, guys, a little help over here," they heard Aria yell from her screen and they rushed over to her. "Hanna just won't drop this 'mysterious viking in the deep fjords thing'"

"Well I won't because I'm obviously rooting for you," Hanna said and shrugged. "You deserve a fair haired warrior to whisk you from your angst."

"You know Hanna, there is more to life than getting to know hot men," Spencer said and turned to Emily. "Or women. You don't have to be with someone all the time to feel complete. Cheers to us single ladies, right Aria?"  
"Amen to that sister," Aria said and lifted her own glass. "Well, rest assured Hanna. There are no viking men leaping to my rescue here in Reykjavík. But I've met some pretty neat folks. I'm planning a trip with a couple of them to the east next weekend if the weather allows."

"Aren't they going to be busy with their families for Thanksgiving?" Hanna asked puzzled.

"No, silly. They don't have Thanksgiving over here. For them it's just a regular November weekend."

"How can that be? With US festivals being the model for all other countries. I need to let the government know about this insurgency," Spencer feigned surprise, mocking Hanna. "Tell me Aria, do they even celebrate Christmas?"

"Ha-ha Spencer," Hanna said. "I know they have Christmas over there. Also, like, the New Year and stuff."

"Well yeah, but I'll be home before that," Aria said. "It's been pretty great to be back here, but I'm looking forward to being able to hug all of you girls. Which reminds me, it's getting pretty late here, almost 4 AM. I need to get to bed soon."

"Oh, before you do, we need to get Em her birthday present," Hanna said excitedly. "Ollie, Caleb, come here. Caleb, can you bring me my bag?"

The guests of Emily's little impromptu birthday party gathered up next to the table and waited as Hanna fished an envelope up from her bag:  
"Happy birthday our dearest Emily."

The bar was already crowded once the party got there, even though it was not that late. Hanna had demanded that Emily changed clothes before they left, with her expert advice of course and then insisted that they would go to the gay bar. Once they were in they found out that she had actually planned the trip in advance and even secured a table.

"Why would you want to take us to a gay bar? Hanna" Emily asked.

"Just because, you know," Hanna said and shrugged inconspicuously. "I figured it's your birthday and so we might as well go somewhere where you had a chance to get lucky."

"Also, Han here doesn't mind the attention of the ladies," Spencer said snarkily. "Not one bit."

"Hey! Nothing wrong with being appreciated Spence," Hanna said. "Sometimes, womens' interest works out better for me: it bumps my self-esteem and when I tell them I'm not interested they're all nice about it and don't turn into huge jerks like so many guys and their fragile egos."

"Well, I'll drink to that," Spencer said and raised her glass. "Guys can be such jerks when they get insecure."  
The girls clinked their drinks together while the boys approached the table holding a drink each.

"Sorry we took so long," Caleb said and sat down. "But Mr. Cosmopolitan over here had to get all fancy and order something that I can't even pronounce."

"Hey, it was the offer of the night!" Ollie said and took a sip. "And it's delicious."

"I didn't know you liked your odd sip of the pink drink," Spencer said and smirked.

"Oh, it's a Flirtini!" Hanna said. "I had one of those….once upon a time."

"I'll have you know Spencer, that I am very confident in my masculinity and don't need to select drinks based on a fear that people might find them too feminine," Ollie said. "Besides, it's delicious! You should try it."

"You strike a fair bargain Ollie," Spencer said. "So, what do you say Hanna, are we here to assist Emily getting it on with a fair lady. The redhead at the bar looks very promising."

"Well don't you have a type Spence?" Hanna asked playfully. "But anywho, it didn't really look like you needed any help. We all saw you getting cozy with McCullers."

"We're just friends!" Emily said. "And anyway, she's my physiotherapist. We just spent the afternoon together since I thought all you lame bees were bailing on me."

"Sounds like you have been spending a lot more time together than that one afternoon," Hanna said. "That's why Caleb asked her to get you away from your house this afternoon while we set up the party."

"You spent all afternoon setting up a table and a cake?" Emily asked.

"Hey, I had to steal your wifi too to Skype Aria," Caleb said. "You seem to have learned a lot from your days in Rosewood. It took forever to crack your password. Besides, we only told her to distract you for a few hours. I wasn't expecting her to take you on a friggin' day trip."

"Well, the weather was just so nice, and she hadn't even been out to Malibu Point. Can you believe that?"

"Well, she's only been here since September," Caleb said. "It's some sort of a borrow-a-scholar-thing. She's still technically stationed in Stanford University."

"How do you know so much about her business anyway?" Emily asked puzzled.

"Oh, Caleb and Paige have been getting chummy," Hanna said and ruffled Caleb's hair.

"What? Since when?"

"Well, since that whole fiasco in the lighthouse basically," Caleb said. "We'd message each other when we were in different parts of the world, and since we're living in the same place now, we started seeing each other more often."

"Did you know about this?" Emily asked.

"Well, I knew and I didn't know," Hanna said innocently. "I don't mind to much who Caleb hangs out with. I trust him. And when I found out I wasn't sure that you'd want to know. I thought it might tear up some old wounds."

"Well it doesn't," Emily said and fought to keep a straight face. "I'm fine. Paige and I are fine. There is no such a thing as old wounds with us. We were together once upon a time. Now we're not. It isn't complicated so there's nothing to talk about."

"It's okay Em, we believe you," Caleb said, his eyes giving him away. "And I was planning on telling you, I really was. But then Paige told me about you two running into each other so I figured that she'd do it."

"It's okay," Emily said. "She is not my girlfriend. I don't need to know what friends she keeps. She is just my therapist. Her business is my business. I mean HER business. Her business is her business. Jeez. How strong is this stuff?"  
"Not nearly strong enough," Hanna said and got up. "Come on, let's get some shots. I want to see you on that dance floor."

"And since you and Paige _totally_ aren't up to something, then you can ask that cute redhead for her phonenumber," Spencer said and looked around. "Aw man, she left already."

"Don't get too bummed Spence," Hanna said and grabbed her by the arm. "I'm sure that there are more fish in the sea." She turned to Emily. "Hot, well swimming fish."

"I wasn't thinking about her for me. It was for Em. Seriously!"

"Sure it was sweetie."

It was well over midnight once the girls crawled out of the bar, Emily and Spencer clinging onto Ollie's arms, while Caleb hoisted Hanna by the hips.

"I think you guys have had a little bit too much,"  
"I think that we have had exactly enough," Hanna said and bopped Caleb's nose. "And you mister, are looking extremely adorable. Like a knight in shiny armor…"

"Shining armor Hanna!" Spencer called out and almost stumbled over. "Wow. I have a flight in a couple of hours. I don't think I'll be their favorite customer. Maybe they'll bump me down to economy."

For a few seconds Spencer looked positively petrified while thinking about that possibility.

"Don't worry Spence," Caleb said. "We'll get some coffees on our way to the airport. You'll be fine. Are you kids going to be okay?"

"Sure," Emily said. "We'll split a cab home or something."

"Okay, great. We really need to get Miss Congeniality here to the airport in one piece. Boy, that's going to be a handful," Caleb said.

The girls took turns hugging the birthday girl, with Spencer clinging on until the guys had to peal them off one another:  
"I'll see you soon Em. December isn't that far away. I'll call you okay? Sorry I was not a better wingman. Byeeee."

Ollie and Emily watched as Caleb walked away with the two women, supporting one in each arm.

"Well, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes right now," Ollie said and tilted his head. "Or maybe I would."

"Ollie, they're my friends!"

"Sorry. Just kidding. Friends are off limits, right?"

"Extremely drunk friends are off limits yes. I think what Spencer needs now is a coffee and a power nap at the airport lounge, not a guy."

"That's true. Hitting on someone that drunk just wouldn't be right."

"True. By the way, what was the deal with all these Kylie Minogue songs being played? They are like ten years old."

"Between gay men and Kylie Minogue there exists an unbreakable bound. That adoration is surpassed only by the one for queen Madonna."

"How do you know these things?"

"I just do. So, shall we catch a cab?"

"Yeah, sure."

Ollie managed to catch the attention of a cab driver and was about to open the door for Emily to get in when she stopped dead in her tracks:

"You know what, you take this one. I have something that I need to take care off."

"Are you sure? It's a quarter after one."

"Yeah, I'm sure."  
"Okay. You just be careful Emily. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I won't. Thanks for everything Ollie."

"Are you sure you're not about to make a mistake."

"No. I'm not sure about anything. But if I am, it is mine to make."

 **Author's Note: A cliffhanger? Yeah I know. Sorrynotsorry ;). Cliffhangers are what make the fics worth reading (in my humble opinion). Will update very soon so stay tuned. Reviews are welcome per usual. I make sure to read every single one of them. They're the thing that keeps me writing. You guys are awesome.  
** **PS. In case anyone is wondering whether Spencer might be written as a gay fish in this story, I have to sadden you with a negative answer. It's just a bit of friendly banter between Hanna and Spence.**


	19. Chapter 19: A Quarter after One

Paige McCullers could say that her night has been pretty darn good. After having left Emily's house she had received a phone call from Cat that had told her that her evening had just cleared up and that she would be able to make a reservation at the place that Paige had been dying to try ever since she had been positioned in Malibu and the evening had turned out to be a blast.

"You know, we don't do things like this together enough anymore," she had remarked over a glass of scotch once their table had been cleared and the waiter had been sent to fetch their check.

"I know. I was so happy that we were finally living at the same place again," Cat had said. "I mean, I was over the moon when you told me about you getting lent to Pepperdine. No more late night Skype calls and watching movies together over Facetime I thought to myself."

"Oh my god. All those time when we were trying to synchronize with each other," Paige had joked and said in a funny voice. "Okay, so what minute are you on now? How about now? It's lagging? Oh, crap."

Cat had let out a hearty laugh, throwing her head back:

"Well. Like I said, it would be different from that. I didn't expect that it would be me that was going to be this busy all the time. I've been feeling like crap cancelling all our plans lately. Scott has just been giving me such a hard time at the office."

"Well, his daddy can buy him a position, but he sure as hell can't buy him talent to run it."

"Unfortunately not. It would make life easier for all of us."

"Well, luckily, I only have to deal with my instructor and Dr. Rolandsson and they both tend to be very professional. As long as I put in my work, they don't really seem to care how I get around doing it."

"Paige, you work around the clock. I can't see how anyone could have a problem with you."

"I just really like the angle that the research is taking. I'd like to follow it and see where it goes."

"Then, by all means do. But like I was about to say," Cat said and cleared her throat. "I haven't really been there for you lately, like I am suppose to be, considering…"

"You don't have to get all mushy about it if you don't want to."

"Well, I do want to. I care about you a lot, Paige and we have a very long history. I want to keep you in my life. And I will try harder than I have been doing lately, I promise."

"Well, I'll drink to that," Paige had said and they clinked their glasses together.

Recalling that, brought a smile on Paige's face as she strode down the street. She had opted for getting to the restaurant and back in a cab, but had asked the driver to drop her a couple of streets from her house so she could grab herself some coffee at a small kiosk before heading home. She had really enjoyed the dinner and was looking forward to being able to spending more time with Cat than she had been doing lately, maybe even taking some time off work if Scott was ever going to let her out of the office before closing time.

She was closing in on her apartment when she noticed a tall, slim figure standing next to a running cab. Her stomach clenched and she wondered how she was going to approach the situation; it was already late and she was walking alone. What if this person was dangerous? She was in the process of digging through her pockets, looking for her keys to clench between her knuckles when she heard a familiar voice:

"Just five more minutes, I just need to go up and ring the doorbell okay? I've already paid you for the ride to here so can you please just…"

"Emily?" Paige said, walking over to the other woman.

"Paige, hey. I thought you were in," Emily started but got startled by the cab gearing up and driving away. "Hey! Come on!"

"Sorry lady," the cab driver shouted. "A man's gotta eat!"

"Dammit," Emily said in a defeated tone.

"Relax," Paige said, extending her hand to touch the other woman's arm. "Woah! You're really cold. How long have you been out here."

"I just got out. But it took forever waving down this cab. And now it's gone. I'm never going to get another one at this time of night."

"They are kind of few and far between aren't they?" Paige said and pulled her jacket off and draped it over the raven haired woman's shoulders who was shaking silently. "Come on, let's get you inside. We can figure stuff out once you're all warmed up."

Once the two women were seated comfortably in Paige's living room, hot beverages in hand, Paige finally braved to ask the question that she had been too afraid to ask before:

"So, you want to explain why you showed up at my door at quarter past one in the morning and almost froze to death?"

"Well, the freezing to death part is all Hanna's fault. She was responsible for dressing me for tonight and kept on insisting that a jacket was an accessory, not a thing to keep you warm."

"That sounds like Hanna," Paige said and chuckled.

"You mean the Hanna that Caleb describes?" Emily asked. "The loving, clutzy fashionista that he so lovingly describes to you when you meet regularly for your buddy-hangout sessions?"

"Erm… I guess so. When you put it that way. What is this about?"

"That is what it is about. Why didn't you ever tell me about you hanging out with Caleb?"  
"Was that something that you needed to know?"

"Well… no. Maybe. Yes. I don't know," Emily buried her head in her hands. "There is no way to say this without me coming off as a crazy person, is there?"

"Probably not. But go ahead anyway."

"It feels weird for me that you're hanging out with him."

"But why?"

"Because..." her voice was barely a whisper. "It reminds me that you guys have moved on with your lives, and meanwhile, I'm just so completely stuck. And it hurts."

"Emily, you aren't stuck. You might have been at some point. But right now you're being more brave and putting yourself more out there than any of us are."

"Am I? Because I always just feel like such a lackluster compared to you guys."

"Well, so did I."

"What do you mean?"

"When I first came out, you had already had girlfriends. And everyone else that I met seemed to have already had girlfriends. Yes, Shana too. I felt like such a baby, and wondered how anyone was going to want to date someone so inexperienced."

"And then what? What changed your mind?"

"I just realized that there is no linear way to do things, and that includes coming out. I just had to put myself out there and try my best."

"And what if that turned out horrible?"

"Well, it would always be better than not trying at all. I could either sit around and feel sorry for myself forever for being such a late bloomer or I could just get on with my life,"

"That's a very brave realization. I wish I could have your courage."

"You have it in you. You just have to take the leap. And Em, for god's sake, stop comparing yourself with other people. You are not other people and they are not you. Everybody likes to go their own way–to choose their own time and manner of devotion."

"I can't believe that you just quoted Jane Austen to me."

"And I can't believe that you recognized it."

"Touché."

"Anyways," Paige said and stood up. "I should get you a sweatshirt. You're still shaking. I don't want you catching something, You should try to get some rest. I don't figure you fancy catching another cab at this point."

"Your couch is very comfortable," Emily said and gave her a smile that looked more like she had just offered her a million dollars rather than a nap on a dingy futon.

"Well, you're of no use to me if you get sick," Paige joked. "Besides, Coach Fulton would read me the riot act."

"Oh come on. His aunt trained you back at Rosewood. Doesn't that make him cut you some slack?"

"May I remind you that it was you that his aunt, our ex coach, admires. Me, she always found a nuisance," Paige said and walked into her bedroom.

Once in, she rummaged around in her closet before dragging out a red sweatshirt with a large S on the right side of the chest. She remembered when she had gotten that sweatshirt, more than six years earlier. She had gotten it when she had gone to California, her final semester in Rosewood, along with a full-ride offer on a swimming scholarship. She clutched the sweatshirt to her chest, just like she had on the plane back to Pennsylvania. She had planned to give it to Emily, at the end of her birthday party. Knowing her humble girlfriend, who would have surely responded with "But it's yours, I can't take it." she had already prepared an answer: "No biggie. You can give me yours once you receive it when you get in. And you will. I know you will Em."

She sighed and felt a little clump form in her throat, thinking about that phrase she never got to say, that gift she never got to give, the future that they never got to have. That moment where everything just broke and no matter how much they wanted to, they never seemed to be able to put it properly together. Her hand wandered up to her eyes, wiping away imaginary moistness, suddenly afraid of giving something away, all though she wasn't really sure what. God, she had just given Emily the advice to just live, so shouldn't she buckle up and try to take her own advice? She took a deep breath, folded the sweatshirt underneath her arm and headed for the living room.

Paige almost bumped into Emily that had gotten up from the couch and was standing with her nose up to the photographs on the wall.

"I see you've found my photo montage," Paige said. "I'm sorry if this is the first time you've seen it. I'm not really big with sharing on social media."

"Yeah, me neither," Emily said. "They look great. You look great. You look so happy. And fulfilled."

"Well, I've had some pretty good runs."

"You seem so happy in this one," Emily said and pointed to the photo of her and Cat.

"Well, I'm with someone that's very special to me."

"That must be nice," Emily said and leaned her head against the wall.

Paige longed for a conversation changer:  
"So, how was your night out with your friends? Caleb said something about Hanna wanting to get you guys to a gay bar."

"Hanna and her crazy ideas," Emily said, lightening up. "I think she was more up for it than I was."

"How so?"

"It's just… Hanna is boy crazy, you know?" both the women were seated down in the coach now.

"I think there are people in remote towns in Tibet that know about that."

"Probably yeah. And anyway, she thinks that she can just change the gender and apply the same strategy to me. To get me some girl, get her number or whatever, and then I'll be happy and fine."

"Well. It doesn't hurt to have a little fun does it?"

"Maybe not. It's just so pointless you know. I mean, yeah I can totally go and chat up some girl and take her home. Then we can talk the next day, maybe try to go on a proper date or something. Then we will realize slowly that we don't have that much in common, and either one of us will forget to call back. Or I'll just skip out the next day before she wakes up to avoid all that nonsense. I've done that before and I can do it again. But what's the point really? I'm just repeating myself and I'd rather just...not."

"Well, I can't really blame you for that. I had some pretty pointless dates myself back in Stanford."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Indulge me."

"Well, there was this one girl that I went out with that was very clear about the fact that she totally wasn't gay, yet she kept on trying to get me back into her dorm."

"Well, how did that work out?"

"Well, that's another story, Let's just say that it didn't exactly turn into a relationship."

"Are there more?"

"Well yeah. Tons. There was this one girl that gave me this whole speech over lunch about how carbs would give you cancer and that you should drink lemon water every two hours to 'cleanse'."

"Jesus, that sounds like some sort of a cult. Did you adhere to her warning?"

"Hell no. I had just finished a two hour practice. I had a pizza!"

Emily couldn't hold it in anymore and burst into a roaring laughter:

"Well, I'm guessing that didn't pan out."

"Not exactly. I thought she was going to crucify me right there and then. The power of paleo compels you!"

"Stop, stop, I can't breathe," Emily said gasping for breath. She got up and took a few long breaths, stopping again at the photo montage.

Paige got up and stood a short distance from Emily, looking at her profile, which had a serene look.

"I like laughing with you," Emily said, turning to face the other woman. "It makes me feel normal again. Human again. There was such a long time that I didn't even feel close to that."

"It will pass Em," Paige said and felt a strong urge to cup the other woman's face. "You will become a healthy, whole person, like you deserve to be, because you Em, deserve the best of everything."

There was a lingering silence between the two women and Paige could have sworn that Emily was moving closer to her, ever so slowly:

"The best is what I had, and already lost."

Their faces were almost meeting, neither of them daring to breathe.

"And there come days where I wonder if I might ever be able to grasp it again. If only for a moment."

She must have leaned in because at that moment her lips were on Paige's lips and she felt nothing but the warmth as they pressed against her. She tasted like peach and alcohol, which was foreign, but she felt exactly as the same Emily that Paige had kissed so many times before. In her car, in the parking lot of a dingy bar, in her window seat, with Paige always being the one that leaned in. But this time it was different. This time it was Emily that leaned in, pressing her lips against her, deepening the kiss, opening her mouth hungrily while her hands caressed Paige's arms. Paige responded, almost without realizing it, welcoming the raw tenderness that this unexpected kiss was filled with. She opened her mouth to gasp for breath, feeling the other woman pushing her against the wall, sending something knocking down.

It wasn't until she felt a wandering hand, slipping under her shirt, caressing the small of her back that she snapped back to reality. She pulled back from the kiss, pressing her hands on Emily's chest, firmly, but careful not to trip the intoxicated woman.

"Em, stop. This isn't right."

"Does it have to be?"

"Well yeah. You're drunk. I don't want you to do something that you might regret later."

"Well, isn't that my mistake to make?"

"Maybe it is. But I don't think it's a good idea," Paige said, backing off and running her hands through her hair. It took all the self control that she possessed not to jump back forward and resume what she had been doing seconds ago. "Look, this is not something you want to get into now. Trust me on that. There are years, since I was the person that you knew. Things have happened. Doing this right now, wouldn't be right. It could hurt you, and other people."

"Why do you always have to be so darn considerate?" Emily asked. "Why can't you just do what feels good to you?"

"Well Em, it's something that I learned from you. And today, it is something that I would consider one of my best qualities."

She suddenly noticed that Emily was rocking more than could be considered normal:

"Are you okay Em?"

"I'm fine," she said and rubbed her head. "Just getting a little tired a I guess."

"You should probably lie down," Paige said and approached the other woman again, careful not to send the wrong signal. Her skin was getting warm, and for a moment Paige felt her touch linger, if only for a bit. She caught herself red handed, and hurried leading Emily to the couch. The other woman sat down and then proceeded to lay on the couch, with Paige putting the sweatshirt under her head.

"It's nice," Emily remarked. "I always wanted one of those."

"Yeah, I bet you did. I was actually going to..." Paige stopped herself mid track. "You know what? It can wait."

She pulled a blanket over the other woman who already seemed to be slipping off and was just about to get up when she felt a hand grab her arm from underneath the cover:

"Wait," Emily's voice was getting raspy from fatigue but she proceeded to open up her eyes and look doey-eyed up at Paige. "WIll you… stay with me until I fall asleep."

"Of course I will," Paige said and smiled. She stayed seated next to the other woman and felt her body relax as she eased into sleep. She combed her hair from her face, looking at her face, feeling relief wash over her as she saw the peaceful expression that had spread over the other woman's face. "I will never leave you Emily. Not really. Not now and not ever again."  
Paige McCullers could have said that her night had been pretty great. And then at quarter after one it all got turned upside down.


	20. Chapter 20: Unspoken

**AN: So, I finally managed to update. Yay. I am very sorry for how long it has been. I generally try to update at least once every week, but my shifts have been really crazy and when I finally got a couple of days off I came down with a really nasty stomach flu. But I am all better now and present you with this new chapter.  
PS. I wrote another story, a Paily-oneshot, called "Only Lovers Left Alive" which didn't show up on the rec list for some reason, but here is the link for it ****s/11997783/1/Only-Lovers-Left-Alive** **. I have gotten some requests to expand this fic into 2-3 more parts and would to hear your thoughts on it. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter and I will update soon to make up for how inactive I have been.**

It was already late when Emily woke up the next day, spending a moment wondering why she wasn't in her own bed and instead lying on a couch that she didn't quite recognize. It wasn't until she had gotten up from the futon and taken a glance around, recognizing the photos on the wall that she realized that she was at Paige's place, all though she didn't have any recollection as to how she had gotten there. She was startled by a noise coming from the front door and turned around to find Paige closing the door behind her. The other woman was glistening with sweat, wearing some dark heatgear and bright running shoes.

"Hey there," Paige said, seeming equally startled. "I see you're up."

"Hey there yourself. Have I been out long?"

"Yeah, you've been out of it since late last night. Sorry, I have been awake since this morning so I thought I might go for a run while you were sleeping off your stupor."

"Wow, was I so out of it last night?"

"Well, it was your birthday after all, and it seemed like Hanna got a little generous buying shots for you."

"She wasn't just generous to me," Emily said and rubbed her face, recalling some of the events that had gone down the night before at the bar. "She was getting 'shots for the line' pretty much all the time. Especially when she was getting the attention of the other patrons"

"Wow. I didn't realize that Hanna swinged that way."

"She doesn't, like at all. She just likes attention, all human attention really. But it definitely helps if the person is 'aesthetically pleasing'"

"That's a pretty big term."

"It's on her word calendar, so she tries to cram it into as many conversations as humanly possible."

"That sounds...quite exquisite."

"You tell me," Emily said and snickered, regretting it immediately as a pounding headache emerged in her forehead. She grabbed her head and sighed.

"Are you okay? You still look a little pale."

"I'm fine, aside from being hungover."

"I left an alka-seltzer next to you after you fell asleep last night, but you're probably good to take another one."

"Just the thought of it makes me relieved."  
"Want some coffee?"

"That would be fantastic."

"I prepared a brew before I left. Could you just turn it on while I go take a shower? It's on the table in the kitchen. You can't miss it."

"With my luck, I just might."

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The refreshing smell of coffee had already filled the entire apartment once Emily noticed steam pouring from the direction of the bathroom and Paige walking towards her, throwing a wet towel in the direction of her bathroom.

"You are looking a whole lot more casual than in our usual meets," Emily remarked and passed Paige a cup.

"Well, today is Sunday. So I don't go into the office today. I like to keep it casual when I have time off. And I might get a lot of it this week."

"Because of Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah. The office will be closed for a couple of days."

"Are you going to see your family?"

"For a few days yeah. So I have to postpone our next appointment. I hope you are alright with that."

"Yeah, sure, I'm well on my way with the warm ups that you prescribed me, and I haven't had another setback, despite the coach upping all my workouts last week."

"That's great. I hope you're not looking into any competition this semester though."

"God now, that would be pushing my already good luck. Coach just told me to use this semester to get back into shape and we'll see how the setup looks for next semester."

"But that's good. It means that he's saving a spot for you come next spring."

"I wouldn't go that far…"

"He has great faith in you Em. I know he does, if not he would have never pushed you to go see a therapist. He has ambitious students trying out for the team left and right. So, whatever it was that made him go that extra mile for you, it has to be something special."

"Well, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you."

"Don't think about it too much," Paige said and she noticed a slight blush creeping up her cheeks. "I just lent you a hand. You walked the walk."

"Maybe. But there is a lot more to it than that."

"Well, missus, there is also a lot more to you than you ever seem to realize," Paige said and approached her. "So stop being so damn modest all the time."

"Well, if I wasn't so 'damn modest all the time'" Emily said and made air quotes with her fingers. "How would you know that it was really me?"

"That's a fair point. I might start to suspect that you had been invaded by body snatchers or something. But sometimes you are too modest for your own good. You have been through a lot of stuff in the last couple of years Em, and you are still standing. You should be proud of that."

"Thanks. Coming from you that means a lot," Emily said. The two girls sat in silence for a little while, sipping their coffees, both appreciating the fragility of this precious moment. Emily's mind couldn't help but wonder if this is what it would have been like if she had gotten into Stanford; them starting their mornings drinking coffee together, enjoying each other's company, basking in the silent content of knowing that she had the most precious person right by her side. Her comforting image was unfortunately broken up from a sour taste that shot into her mouth and she broke the silence by aggressively clearing her throat. She massaged her head again and wondered how much she had really had to drink the night before. Her memory didn't seem to be serving her right anymore and other worries started to reveal themselves, ugly, embarrassing thoughts, tainting the otherwise pleasant moment.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way," Emily said cautiously. "But how did I end up here yesterday?"

"I'm not sure really," Paige answered. "You just sort of did. I had a very late dinner followed by some drinks and you were in front of my house when I got back."

"What? Really? I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Drunk Emily works in mysterious ways. I actually…. appreciated the intrusion. It turned out to be not such a bad thing."

"And I didn't do anything weird or inappropriate? Something to make you uncomfortable? Because if I did I am so very sorry."

Paige paused for a brief moment, staring into her cup. She gnawed her lip before turning her face up again to look at the other woman:

"Don't worry. You were a perfect gentleman."  
"Or gentlewoman."

"A rather slurry, slouchy gentlewoman," Paige said, making the other woman giggle. "But a gentlewoman none the less. Come on, I should probably give you a ride back home."

"You don't have to. I can just take the bus."

"Making you ride public transport with that kind of hangover would be sheer torture."

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Emily spent the majority of the car ride inspecting the other woman's expression. Paige, while concentrated on her driving, seemed to be perplexed in some way that she couldn't quite put her finger on. While they waited on the lights, her mouth would twitch, like she was fighting the urge to say something, stopping herself at the last moment. When they finally got to Emily's house she seemed to be more in control of her expression and gave Emily a reassuring smile:

"Drink lots of water Em, and just take it easy. Don't overexert yourself."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Emily responded. "All I want to do now is cuddle up in bed with that book you gave me."

"Sounds lovely," Paige said. "Hopefully it can take your mind off of your hangover."

"Remind me to never try keeping up with Hanna," Emily said and sighed. "That girl could drink a lumberjack under the table."

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever find myself in a situation where you are trying to," Paige said. She hesitated again, her face twitching a little bit, mouth opening up and then shutting just as quickly. "I...um...listen Em. There is something you should…"

"What is it Paige?"

"You know," Paige composed herself before continuing. "It's nothing. I'm just overthinking, as usual. Take care, okay?"

"I will," Emily said. She fiddled with the seatbelt, not really wanting to exit the car but also not being able to find any reason why she should linger. There was a lingering feeling in her body, to reach out, feel the other woman's touch on her skin. It had been years since they had shared a kiss, but she couldn't help feeling that it had just happened yesterday. The desire felt fresh and unyielding, like an old wound that had been ripped right up and pulsed with an intense rhythm. She finally unbuckled and got out of the car. "See you later Paige."

"See you. Take care," Paige said before driving off, leaving the other woman standing on the sidewalk, touching her lips pensively. When she got to her front door she noticed that something was lying on her welcome mat. It was a small box with a ribbon and a card, written in calligraphed letters:

 _A slightly belated birthday present. They say that the greatest gift of all is the gift to be free. And thus I give you the truth which in turn will set you free._

Emily waited before she was inside before opening the packet. She had learned from bitter experience that she could never know who was watching, even after all these years. The box turned out to contain a small, black piece. Turning it around in her hands she realized it was a memory stick. She was hesitant about how to proceed, the mysterious piece could easily contain malware that would destroy her computer but at the same time she was dying to see what it was. She had learned that it was better to know all the facts and finally decided to open it in her old computer. She had moved all her stuff to the one that Caleb had given her weeks ago and didn't really know why she still hadn't thrown the old one out but was now glad that she had not. It took forever to boot up but once she got it up and running and the stick installed the file popped up automatically. It was a video. At first it was blurry and she could barely make anything out but then realized that the camera was on the ground and tilted at an awkward angle. There were two figures that appeared to be fighting. The slimmer of the two seemed to have the upper hand, raising themselves from the ground and kicking the other person who released a deep, pain stricken grunt. The other person spoke up:

"Get out of here! And if I ever see your sorry face again I won't be so gentle!"

Emily gasped, her mouth dropping wide open. There was a reason why the two people had such different figures. While the one on the ground was clearly a man, the person that spoke, in an angry, raspy voice, was female. It was familiar. It was Paige.

 **So, we have finally entered the mystery part of this fic. I hope you haven't minded the slow pace and know that all reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	21. Chapter 21: Snooping

By the time that Emily finished her courses the next day after discovering the disturbing video, she came to the conclusion that she could not have disclosed one thing that any of the lecturers had mentioned that day. Thinking that meeting a friend would help distract her from her thoughts, she asked Ollie out for coffee but found herself completely unable to follow the conversation.

"And in other news I have decided that I will isolate my apartment, kick my rent-mate to the curb and declare it the sovereign kingdom of Oliver," Ollie said and sipped his coffee. "I have also decided that I need to marry, to get the relation thing going you know? I'm thinking that cute girl from Calculus. What's her name again, Maria, right?"

"Uh-huh, that's a great idea Ollie," Emily said and fiddled with her phone absentmindedly. There was a moment's silence before she snapped her head up. "I'm sorry but what the heck were you talking about?"

"I'm just yanking your chain Emily," Ollie said and let out a cackle. "It was pretty clear that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying so I just decided to make a game of it."

"I'm so sorry Ollie. I don't know why I'm acting this way," Emily said, juggling her phone between her hands.

"But I think I _do_ know," Ollie said and reached for her phone. "And I think she has a name."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh obsession," Ollie said and snatched the phone from Emily's hand, turning it towards her. "Thy name is Paige McCullers."

"How did you know? You didn't even look!" Emily argued.

"I don't have to. Your face gave it away," he handed her the phone back. "Besides, I don't even know your screen lock. And your reaction confirmed my theory. So, you want to tell me the reason that you're so particularly hung up on her today?"

"Particularly hung up? As opposed to regularly hung up?"

"Yes. And just answer the damn question already. Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll feel better sharing it with someone. So, spill, please and thank you."

Emily tried muttering some words in protest but then gave up with a large sigh before divulging the details of the weekend to Ollie, starting at the point where they had parted ways.

"So, you're telling me that you just drunkenly showed up at her doorstep and the next day she acted like it was a bed and breakfast?" Ollie asked.

"Yeah. She was acting like it was no big deal and insisted that I had been so polite the night before."

"Does that mean polite or _polite_?"

"No! Nothing like that. I was completely out of it. I basically just crashed on her couch."  
"Okay, I don't really see how that's such a big deal."

"Well, that was just the start of it. But when she drove me home I found this on my doorstep," Emily said, fishing the memory stick out of her pocket and handing it to Ollie.

"Yeah, I can see why you find this to be troubling," Ollie said after looking over the video.

"I know. It looks very fishy."

"And not just in the way that you think."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we don't know the full story. Who is this person that she is having an altercation with and why? What happened before this video was shot?"

"Well, I don't really know how we're suppose to figure that out."

"That's easy. We go snooping."

"Snooping Ollie, really?"

"Oh come on. I won't be going to the cabin with my parents until Friday thanks to my sister somehow managing to break her leg on her skateboard -again, and you know as well as me that this place is a friggin ghost town during Thanksgiving break. We might as well get some detective work done."

"How are we going to do that? Paige isn't even going to be here. She's visiting her family and won't be back until next week."

"You don't snoop by going directly up to people and asking them questions. You ask around. Find people that she knows and get to know their version of her. That helps you paint a bigger picture."

"Well, I don't know any of her friends here. I only know where she works and I doubt snooping around there would be helpful. Besides, they are closed for the holidays."

"Okay. But do you know any place that she frequents, like a club or a bar or something?"

"Well, actually, there was this one place. What was the name? Oh, it's on my newsfeed," Emily said looking at her phone. "She left a message for an event there, 'Thanksgiving at the Inner City'."

"What does it say."

"'Sorry that I won't be able to make it. I hope you guys have a great time this year'."

"Well, that answers your question doesn't it. Do we have to get on some kind of a guestlist?"

"No. I don't think so. I already met some people there and they said that the club was open to all LGBTQI and their allies."

"So, LGBTQI and ally it will be. What time does it start?"

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The hall was already filling up with guests when Emily and Ollie arrived. Some were people that Emily knew from the Halloween party, other faces were new. A volunteer that she had met the last time she came there greeted the two of them and pointed them toward a table. All though having originally planned to use the time to ask around, they both soon got lost in conversation with their seatmates. Emily found out that aparently Thanksgiving was one of the most important events that was held at the center because, like her seatmate, who had introduced himself as Matt, explained to her with some melancholy in his voice "it was the time that many of the attendees felt especially lonely, with many of them not having families to go home to."

"I had no idea it was so bad," Emily said shocked. "I mean, I knew and at the same time I didn't know. I obviously knew it was a reality that a lot of people live with but I have just never been exposed to that reality."

"Well, you don't really believe it until you see it for yourself," Matt said and his eyes skimmed over the tables that were brimming with laughter and conversation. "Many of these kids here have gone through incredible loss and yet they keep on going. Showing up, being out there, living their lives. They are some of the bravest folks I've ever known. Excuse me but I really have to take this."

When Matt disappeared around the corner with his phone Emily caught a glimpse of the conversation that Ollie was having with his seatmate:

"Well, I have to say that your contribution to the buffet was an upgrade, since what I was expecting the person that was suppose to be joining to bring a casserole that was disguised to look like it didn't come from a plastic tray. That's so typically Paige, I don't know if she thinks I don't notice but I totally do."

"Well, we came as acquaintances of Paige, so you could say that technically she is responsible for our generous looking soufflé."

"Wow, you're really going all out with the name and everything."

"Well, I made it so I'd be damned if I couldn't pronounce it."

"And he cooks too. Before you had my curiosity, now you have my attention."

Suddenly, Emily noticed a strange noise, coming from outside the building. She excused herself and headed downstairs to find that the noise was coming from a car alarm. Following the noise, she finally traced its origin around the corner. The alarm was coming from a small, red Toyota that was parked in the alley, and as Emily approached she noticed glass spread on the sidewalk. She thought about running up to the building to tell somebody about what was happening but stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed someone moving inside the vehicle.

"Hey, what are you doing?" she said, trying to catch a glimpse of whoever was bent over in the driver's seat. The figure raised themselves up but no matter how much Emily squinted she could not catch a look of their face.

"Emily? What are you doing?" she heard behind her and saw Oliver exiting the building, followed by the blond woman that he had been sitting next to.

She was about to answer him when she felt a presence and turned around. The figure from the car had gotten out and was making a run for it.

"Hey, stop," Emily said and instinctively stepped in front of them but was knocked out of the way as the figure charged full force into her. She fell into a pile of garbage cans that were piled up against the wall and was trying to pull herself to her feet when she heard Ollie's concerned voice:

"Calm down, I got you," she felt herself being pulled up. The blond woman following him pulled a box from the pile and set it behind her:

"Take a sit, you took a pretty nasty hit."

"I'm fine," Emily said but followed the other woman's advice none the less. "There was someone trying to break into that car."

"Yeah, we saw," Ollie said. "And they tried giving you a concussion while making a run for it. That was a pretty ballsy move Emily."

"I wasn't thinking really. I just jumped in front of them," Emily said. "On second thought maybe I shouldn't have. We need to find out who that car belongs to."

"It's my car actually," the blond woman said. "I should probably call my insurance company."

"Aw, crap, I'm so sorry," Emily said. "I wish I could have done something more,"

"You did plenty," the woman said as she dialed a number on her phone. "But you should probably get your friend to take you inside. You look pretty shaken up."

"I'm fine, really," Emily said.

"Come on Em," Ollie said and extended his arm to her. "I know you like playing the hero but maybe this is enough for today."

She let her friend assist her back into the hall, where they had to explain the events to a couple of curious onlookers who had heard the commotion. They had settled down and Emily was sipping on the glass of water that Ollie had fetched for her when the blond woman came back in and sat down next to them.

"Wow, that was quick," Ollie remarked. "Want some more water Em? I can get you something to drink too."

"Thank you, you're so sweet," the woman said as Ollie jumped up and headed for the drink table. "It should be fine. My insurance is pretty good so I doubt I have to pay anything for the damage. They already sent someone who will notify the police and provide me with a cab ride home. I will probably get a replacement car tomorrow while mine is at the shop."

"That's great," Emily said.

"Could you just write down your details? I might need to contact you since you were the only person that actually saw the intruder in action."

"Sure, no problem. Whatever I can do to help."

"I'm not sure if they need that information but you can never be too sure. I know this might sound sort of up front but I also wanted to ask if I could invite you for coffee later this week, you know, as a thank you for stopping the grand theft auto in action."

"Sure thing," Emily said trying to wrack her shook up brain where she had met the other woman before, because something about her just looked so familiar. "I don't even think we have been properly introduced to one another yet. I'm Emily Fields."

"It's a pleasure Emily. I'm Catherine Phelps."


	22. Chapter 22: Everybody needs Somebody

The place that Catherine suggested to Emily turned out to be more familiar than she expected, as she found out the following weekend when she realized that she was passing streets she knew: it was the café that Paige had taken her to. The other woman was already inside and smiled as she saw her coming through the door.

"Hey, I already ordered. Got here a little early," she said and smiled apologetically.

"No problem," Emily said and caught the eye of the barista.

"Hey there Americano, same as last time?"

"Yeah. Thank you," she responded and sat down. "Wow. That guy has the most amazing memory."

"That's why I love coming here," the other woman responded. "They're quick, friendly and never mess up my order. Paige loves it too. We meet up here quite a lot when our lunch breaks are long enough. I work a couple of blocks over."

"Oh, what do you do Catherine?"

"Call me Cat. Please. I work in internet security."

"That sounds nice."

"It is, but my boss isn't. I regularly nag Paige's poor ear off whenever he pulls off a new shenanigan."

"Well, I'm sure she doesn't mind. She's a great listener."

"She is. Was that your first time coming to the Inner City? I don't recall having seen you there before."

"It was my second time actually. I was there for Halloween as well."

"Did Paige take you?"

"Yeah. I didn't have any plans and I think she feared I was getting lonely. I would have never pictured her frequenting these sorts of events. In high school you couldn't drag her to the gay-straight alliance with force."

"Well. We have all changed since we left high school. Fortunately."

"That's true."

"And anyway, she didn't start going there by her lonesome. It actually started with her going to accompany me. I was suppose to be there at Halloween but I got called in for a work emergency. She really stepped up to the occasion?"

"She really did. She amazed me and a lot of other people with the speech a speech that she got asked to do."

"She has a tendency to do that."  
"I know that I haven't been in contact with her for years, and I don't really know why, but the Paige that I knew was someone that was so genuine that I think she sometimes surprised herself."

"Yeah. That's true. She still does. Listen, I wanted to thank you again for your help last Wednesday. Your involvement was probably the thing that kept that guy from getting away on my wheels."

"It's no problem, anyone would have done what I did."

"Well, that's the thing Emily. You're not just anyone, are you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You are someone quite special to Paige at least."

"Yes. Or I mean, I was. We used to date back in Rosewood. But that was a long, long time ago. I just ran into her again a couple of weeks ago. And all though I enjoy that, you don't need to worry. We're just friends."

"Why would I worry?" Cat said and seemed puzzled.

"No reason," Emily said and suddenly felt a slight chill go through her. "You seem like a wonderful person. And Paige definitely deserves that. She deserves the best."

Emily's order got called up and she got up to retrieve it. As she was grabbing her coffee, something that she had said started stirring up something in her head.

 _"Paige. You deserve the best of everything."_

" _That's what I had," young Paige said with shards of her broken heart shining through her downcast eyes, before walking away with hunched her shoulders_

Why was she remembering that now? Was it because she had used the same line again? She ran over the words again. _Best of everything._ She had heard that phrase somewhere else, a lot more recent, and she hadn't spoken them herself.

" _...you Em, deserve the best of everything."_

 _"The best is what I had, and already lost."_

 _Paige's face, right up against her own. Neither of them breathing._

 _"And there come days where I wonder if I might ever be able to grasp it again. If only for a moment."_

 _Her mouth pushed against her mouth. Her hands caressing her toned, slender arms. Her tongue pushing hungrily, wanting to get more, a further taste of the thing that she had been longing for since she had encountered the other woman in that elevator weeks ago. Emily, finally admitting to herself that despite what she so feverishly told everybody else, she still wasn't over Paige McCullers._

Emily clasped a hand over her mouth, silencing a gasp that was trying to find its way out. She had tried making out with Paige and was now drinking coffee with her longtime girlfriend. No wonder that Paige had appeared wooden the next morning. She was probably embarrassed that her friendly offer had been misinterpreted by an ex who clearly couldn't keep it in her pants under the influence.

"Jesus H. Christ," Emily muttered. "I'm never drinking again."

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" she heard Cat's voice behind her. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Just getting my refill."

"Nothing. I was just talking to myself," Emily said, catching her breath.

The two women walked back to their table with Emily wracking her brain trying to think of something to talk about and not the fact that she had tried to kiss her girlfriend the weekend before.

"Uh, so how did you and Paige meet?"

"We met at a party during our prep semester at Stanford," Cat said and smiled. "It's a funny story actually."

"I bet," Emily said. The chill had turned into a full formed shiver which she tried getting rid of by taking a large gulp of her coffee which in return burned her tongue.

"Are you okay? You suddenly started looking really distressed?" Cat asked.

"I'm fine. I'm okay. Everything is okay," Emily said and then gave up. "It's just that I did something and now I kind of wish I could take it back."  
"Care to divulge?"

Emily bit her lip, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. If she told Cat, she would be hurting her but if she didn't tell her, she would be tainting her relationship with a lie, and she just couldn't see that someone that looked so gentle could be deserving of such behavior. If she told her, she would probably destroy any chance she had of being on amicable terms with Cat and in return could probably not have any sort of friendship with Paige, which was understandable considering how she had been acting. But like her years in Rosewood had taught her it was probably better to tell the truth now rather than to maintain trust that was built on a lie.

"Listen, Cat," she said nervously wanting to be able to say anything else than what she was about to. "You seemed like the sweetest girl, and I'm sure that you make Paige incredibly happy. And I'm sure that she's happy with you. I want her to be happy. More than anything else in the world I want her to have someone special and for her to be happy. Which is why I need to tell you this. I went to Paige's place last Saturday night. I had been out partying with friends, drinking a little, or not a little, too much really. I don't really know why I went there. My friends have always joked that I am the master of doing dumb things when I'm drunk. And I think that Saturday night was the winner, hands down…"

"Are you going to get to the part where you tried making out with Paige sometime soon?" Cat asked.

"Wait? What? You know?" Emily asked, the surprise momentarily overweighing her panic.

"Well yeah. Paige told me. But she also told me that the next day you acted like you had no idea what happened."

"I didn't. Honestly. I just remembered it again, right about now. But Paige said that nothing had happened."

"Well, I guess she was trying to play the gentleman and spare your feelings."

"I get that. I acted like a total jerk. Paige deserves so much more, you deserve so much more…"

"Wait...why are you mixing me into this?"

"I saw you at that concert with her Cat. And I saw the pictures at her apartment. You don't need to spare my feelings, especially after the way I behaved. I can understand if you hate me…"

"I don't know what you think is going on here Emily."

"I made out with your girlfriend and I'm sorry, okay?!"

Cat looked positively dumbstruck:

"Wow. I'm at a loss for words. Really."

"I would be too. I'll get out of your face. And I'll cancel my appointment with Paige next week. I've overstepped and I get that," Emily said, getting up from her feet, struggling to keep a brave face on. She walked briskly out of the door and managed to bite her teeth together until she heard the door close behind her. She clasped her mouth, stifling a sob that was threatening to escape but despite her best efforts she felt warm tears dripping down her face.

"You've really gone and done it this time," she muttered to herself, scrambling for the phone in her purse to find the bus timetable. She just wanted to get as far away as possible, bury her face in her pillow and never exit her apartment again. "Dumb Emily. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb."

She fumbled with her phone before it slipped from her hand and landed on the grass next to the sidewalk with a soft thud. She was about to reach down and get it when someone else beat her to it. It was Catherine:  
"Boy, you really need to fill in some blanks don't you?"

* * *

After Emily managed to compose herself the two women headed back into the café where their cups were fortunately still warm and waiting for them.

"So, I'm sorry if I'm so brusque," Emily said while taking her seat again. "But you said Paige started going to the Inner City with you, and yet you aren't together. Does that mean that you're not gay or just not interested in her?"  
"I'm not gay sweetie," Cat said and smiled. "But if I was, I would have probably fallen flat for someone like Paige."

"So, why did you want her to attend the meetings with you in the first place?"

"Well," Cat said and hesitated before continuing. "Some people need support when they figure out who they are attracted to. For me that was not the issue. I have always known that I liked boys. For a while I thought that fact made me gay. But it didn't. I wasn't in denial about who I was attracted to. I was in denial about who I was."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean to say Emily, is that I was born in a way that I felt didn't agree with how I felt. When I was born the doctors told my parents that I was a boy and they named me Kevin."

"So, that means that you are…"

"Transgender. Yes. You can say the word. It's not going to jump you."

"Okay. I'm sorry. That possibility didn't even enter my mind."

"Well, it doesn't with most people. Just like most straight people assume that you are straight until you tell them that you are not, most cis people will also expect you to be cis, until you tell them that you aren't. Don't worry if you don't understand the terminology. That is a subject for another time."

"Okay. So, and did you meet Paige after you realized this or before or…"

"Well, I can't really say that there was ever a point in my life that I didn't realize that I was a woman. There were just certain points where I didn't want to accept it. Denying it just seemed to be so much easier."

"I know what you mean. I used to think that I was just better off ignoring how I felt."

"Haven't we all thought that at some point? Anyway, when I met Paige I wasn't out. I was still living my life as Kevin, which felt like such a gigantic lie."

"And you met Paige at a party you said?"

"Yes. A frat party."

"A frat party?" Emily asked with disbelief. "Whatever were the two of you doing at a frat party?"

"Believe it or not I used to belong to a fraternity. When I started my preparatory semester in Stanford I felt that the best way to hide who I was would be to do the complete opposite of what I felt like. So I joined a fraternity. Most of the guys there were complete douches, but I endured it because I felt like being there would make me 'one of the guys'."

"And Paige was attending one of your parties?"

"Yes. I don't really know how she ended up there, but by the time that I met her she was in a really bad way. She seemed to be broken about something and was drinking very heavily. Her roommate had already left her to be with some guy and she was there all alone so I decided to stay with her. By the time that I started talking to her she was barely making any sense. I finally decided to take her up to my room to allow her to lie down since she wasn't coherent enough to tell me where she was living. Some of the guys thought that we were going up to make out so I just allowed them to think that, all though I feel embarrassed admitting that now. She was truly horrified when she woke up the next day in a fratboys den, but I assured her that nothing had happened and that I had slept on the couch while she dozed off on my bed. She invited me to dinner to say thank you and we just kind of hit it off after that."

"And did you ever tell her how you really felt? About who you are, I mean?"

"Well yeah, of course. We grew very close that summer when we both stayed to work at the campus. She was the first person that I told how I really felt. She inspired me to just be who I was, so during the summer I started growing out my hair and dressing the way that I really wanted."

"And nobody else noticed?"

"I didn't really stay in contact with the guys from the frat and we rented a small apartment together during the summer since we weren't allowed to stay in the dorm. We would go out together and she would introduce me as her friend Catherine, and for the first time in my life I just felt like that was the way that things were really meant to be. It was after that summer, right before school started, that I decided to take a trip home and tell my parents how I really felt."

"And how did they respond?"

"To say that they didn't respond well would be an understatement. They were furious, wouldn't even look at me. Told me to get out and never come back. That they had lost a son and would never accept what I had become."

"Oh my god. That must have been horrible for you."

"It was. I took the first plane back to Stanford and met up with Paige. I don't know what I would have done without her. She was my rock. She told me that if my family didn't accept me they didn't know what they were missing. The next two semesters were rough. I couldn't get any housing because I was still registered as a boy but I was living as a girl. I wasn't allowed to live in the girls dorm and living in the boys dorm made me feel unsafe."

"So, what did you do?"

"Well, it turned out that the roommate that ditched Paige at the party had a boyfriend that was living off campus that she didn't want her parents to know about. They basically lived together but she was still officially lived in the dorm to keep up appearances. Paige talked her into allowing me to live with her in the dorm in exchange for her pretending that she still lived there."

"And that worked?"

"Well yeah. We looked kind of alike and I got a fake I.D. with her information on it. For all the officials knew, she was still living there and coming in every night."

"That's genius."

"Well, they say that the good method is the one that works, and that it did. The next year I was allowed to change the gender on my I.D. and could start renting a dorm room of my own. But I don't know what I would have done that first year without her help. I would have probably had to drop out."

"I'm glad you didn't have to do that. That was such a selfless thing of her to do."

"Well, she said that it was just the right thing to do and that she was still in my debt for saving her at that party."

"That sounds like Paige. Does she still feel that way?"

"Well, she would. If there wouldn't have been for a certain incident."

"What incident was that?"

"I hadn't really been very enthusiastic about dating after coming out. I felt that it wasn't safe with all the mean things being said about people like me. But I met this guy during our last year that I thought was cool and we hit it off. We had a couple of dates and were celebrating our graduation when I noticed that something was up with him. He started dropping very transphobic comments and I started wondering if someone had told him about me so I tried excusing myself and getting out. We were partying at this club and I exited through a back exit to get away but he chased me. When we were both out he started threatening me, telling me how he had found out earlier in the day, apparently one of my old frat buddies had told him that I wasn't who he thought I was. He was absolutely furious and said that I had betrayed him and when I tried to get away he got violent."

"Oh my god…"

Tears had started forming in Cat's eyes as she continued the story:

"He got a hold of me, by the neck, and started strangling me, telling me how scum like me were better off dead. I really thought that was going to be it for me. But Paige had suspected back in the club that something wasn't right and when she couldn't find me anymore she came looking."

"And what did she do?"

"She tackled the guy. Like, straight to the ground. I could barely believe it. He was like twice her size but she fought him with a force that I had never seen in her before. She ended up getting him to the ground and managing to get in a couple of kicks. I couldn't do anything but to watch it from the ground."

"Then what happened?"

"Well, the guy spat some insults at her, calling her a dyke and all the likes. Said that he would get her for this but he still scrambled. She took me to the ER but I didn't want to press charges, so I told the nurses that I had gotten assaulted by a random attacker."

The two women were silent for a while. Emily was at a loss for words. For such a long time she had felt isolated in the ways that she had been attacked by A, but looking at Cat she realized that there were more people than her that had lived in fear of being targeted, even though their attackers didn't wear hoodies and gloves. Maybe that even made the whole thing scarier.

"Cat…" she said after a lengthy silence. "I know I have no right asking this, but did you or anybody else get this attack on a video?"

"Well, it's funny you should ask that," Cat said, composing herself. "I actually did. My old man was a cop. He taught me the value of preserving evidence of a crime, even as it was in motion. He told me that if I ever suspected that I crime was about to go down that I should try to record it in any way possible. Video, audio, picture, didn't matter, that I should even slam my hands on flat surfaces to leave fingerprints. Even if I could not save myself, I could still make sure that whoever did me harm would be brought to justice. So, when I realized that the guy wasn't going to let me go easily, I discreetly turned on the video on my cell phone."

"Wow, that's very brave of you Cat."

"Yeah, fortunately it paid off. The guy cornered us a couple of weeks after the incident, threatening to expose me online and Paige shot right back at him, telling him that we got the whole thing on video."

"And that made him back off?"

"Yes it did. I don't know what he was more afraid of: getting outed as an assaulter or the fact that he got his ass handed to him on a plate by a girl."

Emily chuckled at that last comment, it was something that she was sure that Paige would appreciate knowing and it also seemed to lighten to otherwise somber mood at the table. The two women sipped their drinks in silence for a little while before Emily broke the silence:

"I'm sorry, but do you mind if we get something to eat? I'm starving."

* * *

The two women ended up spending the entire afternoon together, laughing and chatting away. They compared stories of Paige, with Cat recounting some hilarious stunts that they had pulled together in Stanford that included a stolen mascot and a swimsuit, making Emily laugh so hard that she feared her coffee would start coming out of her nose. When Emily suddenly remembered that she still had a couple of chapters that she needed to read before tomorrow's class Cat even offered to give her a ride home,

"So...stop me if I'm being too nosy, but is there actually someone serious in Paige's life right now? Like, someone that isn't just her best friend, that she's not telling me about?" Emily asked.

"God no," Cat responded. "She is too honest for something like that. Not really the type for the whole smoke and mirror kind of stuff. There have been a couple of girls that graduated from the date and a movie stage but…"

"Did they not turn out to be good people or something? What is it?"

"Actually, most of them were completely fine. I even liked most of the ones that I got to meet."

"Then what was the problem?"

"Gosh Emily, what can I tell you," Cat said and sighed. "This is Paige we're talking about. She's the type of girl that will go for the coconut cupcake and if that is not available she'd rather starve than to settle for another flavor."

"See, I don't even know what that means."

"It's a metaphor of sorts. And also not a metaphor. Don't take her out for cupcakes unless you call in advance to make sure they have the coconut one. And don't go out for pizza with her, like seriously."

"Did she make you taste that buffalo-ranch Frankenstein pizza that she likes so much?"

"I thought I would never recover after tasting that monstrosity. Anyway, here we are."

"Thanks for the ride Cat. Let's stay in touch."

"Yeah, we definitely should."

Emily was already walking from the car when she heard Cat blurt out:

"Actually, there is one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Your friend, Ollie, the one you were with during the Thanksgiving Party… We started talking and it turned out that he's kind of a cool guy and we got talking about a concert that we're both interested in… Would you mind if I asked him to come with me?"

 **So, I guess the bunny is out of the hat so to speak. I know many people were waiting to find out what got revealed in this chapter and I hope that you found the revelation to be satisfying. I will try to keep the writing at one chapter per week, on average, meaning that sometimes there will be more than one chapter published in a week and sometimes I will (unfortunately) have to skip a week.  
** **Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would be very grateful if you would take the time to write a review. They give me the inspiration to continue writing and sometimes they also give me an idea for a plot twist or a theme.**


	23. Chapter 23: Broken Pieces

The start of the next school week welcomed Emily back with increased amount of work and bustle. While she was glad to have Ollie back and looked forward to being able to see Paige again soon, she also felt that tension had started to mount with the exams drawing closer in and it made her sense that an ever-growing knot that had started forming in her stomach. This was the first full-on exam session that she had endured since she had dropped out of university.

"I should have asked her when she'll be back," Emily said. "I don't want to call her and interrupt her time with her family."  
"Cat said something about Thursday afternoon," Ollie said and opened his textbook.

"Wow, I didn't know you were getting so close with her," Emily said. "How did the whole concert thing go."

"It actually surpassed my expectations. We went out for drinks before going to to the venue and I was really nervous, thinking that I had somehow gotten it into my head that I had to play myself as more important than I was. That she wouldn't want anything to do with some loser dropout -her being this successful woman and all. I had started to picture this as some sort of job interview. But once we got there she was totally carefree and casual. She started playing around acting like she was speaking for other people at the bar, inventing conversations that went with their lip movement and body language and I joined her in it. We played out whole dramatic conversations and ended up having so much fun with it that we almost missed the concert."  
"That sounds great. I don't know why you were so nervous."

"What is that suppose to mean?"  
"It means that she wanted to go out with you silly. You were the person that sparked her interest. Not some other, more prestigious guy with a better job and bigger paycheck. You're a great guy Ollie. I don't think you realize that most of the time."

"Thanks Em. Coming from you that means quite a lot. And yes, it's Thursday afternoon. Cat is picking her up. I'll tell you what," Ollie said with a mischievous grin. "If you promise to go down there on Thursday evening I'll make sure that Cat is otherwise engaged."

* * *

Emily was already on the bus heading for Paige's apartment when she got a call from Ollie:

"Hey, are you already at Paige's place?"

"Not yet. But I'm on my way. What's up?"

"I don't know. Cat just called me and told me that she wouldn't be able to meet me tonight. She said that something came up. It sounded like she had been crying."

"Oh my god. Do you think it had something to do with Paige?"

"I don't know. I'll try calling her again."

Emily quickened her pace once she got out of the bus, almost running up to Paige's place. Her heart stopped once she knocked at the door and it pushed open, revealing a completely destroyed living room.

"What happened? Oh my god, Paige, where are you?!" she said while running into the apartment. She heard noises coming from the bedroom and instinctively grabbed a field hockey stick that hung up on one of the walls. She raised her hand and walked to the bedroom door, pushing it open before leaping inside.

"Holy cow!" Paige yelled out and dropped a trash bag to the floor. "Emily? What are you doing?"

"Paige. Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I thought someone had broken in and that they were still inside," Emily said, dropping the stick and rushing to hug Paige without even giving it another thought. After having embraced the other woman for a few moments she regained her composure and pulled away, fearing that after her birthday shenanigans that this would make her uncomfortable.

"Well, you are right about one thing out of two," Paige said. "My place got totally ransacked."

"I can see that? Are you okay?"

"Well, I wasn't here when it happened so at most we're talking about material loss," Paige said and shrugged. "But I have insurance so I'll have to make a report about things lost."

"I didn't see any signs that you're door got forced open."

"It didn't. I left a spare key in the glovebox of Cat's car before I left to go visit my parents. I don't have any plants that need watering or anything but I usually like her having it if I need something from the apartment while I'm away. Like documents or something. I usually do the same for her when she goes out of town. When she drove me home and we found out what had happened she found out that the key was missing. She hadn't checked before because she simply hadn't thought to look."

"It must have been stolen when her car got broken into."

"Probably yeah. Cat told me that you came to her rescue when that happened. That was very noble of you."

"Anyone would have done that. But how did they know that it was the key to this apartment."

"That's something that I can't really get my head around," Paige said. "But Cat is at the locksmith's. I'll have new locks before tomorrow so whoever they are, their key will be useless."

"That's good. Have you noticed anything missing?"

"Not yet, but then again I haven't finished cleaning everything up. It's going to take a while."

"Want help?"

"I would appreciate that yes."

Emily got another trash bag out and started picking up things from the room that looked to be completely destroyed. Whoever the person was, they seemed to have been on a rampage. Pictures had been ripped from the walls, cabinets flung open and even the futon and throw pillows had been ripped up, leaving feathers spread across the living room. She noticed Page's photo montage lying on the floor, the frames cracked and the glass broken and seeing that somehow gave her a bigger heartache than anything else that had been messed up: it was an attack on what Paige held most dear: the memories of her friends, accomplishment and milestones.

"So, Cat told me that you two have gotten quite cozy with one another?" Paige said after the two of them had worked in silence for some time.

"Well, we went out for coffee and she asked me for a formal permission to date my friend Ollie so I guess you could say that."

"She can be quite old school when it comes to things like that. She would never dream of overstepping it with people's friendships. Put them in an awkward situation you know?"

"That's a good quality to have. I appreciate that."

"Me too. It's something that I've always liked about her. She thinks of others before getting what she wants. Kind of like you."

"Stop it. You'll make me blush."

"Then blush away. I just hope that your friend is as gentle and caring as you are."

"You don't need to worry about that. Ollie is great. We bonded immediately when we started university this year. He was also coming back after having dropped out so we had that in common. He worries that he isn't set to meet people's expectations but he has been there for me when I felt that other people were not. I think he and Cat have a lot in common in that regard."

"That's good. I just want to see Cat happy and with someone that deserves her, and not for her to spend time going out with people that turn out not to be so good. She has gone through some horrible things."

"Yeah, she told me. It sounds so awful. I can't believe that people could be so cruel."

"Well, you'd be surprised."

"And you just leaped to her rescue. At first when I saw that video of you beating up someone I got worried. But then Cat told me the story behind it a couple of days later and I realized that I didn't know the whole story."

"Wait… what do you mean by 'when you first saw it'?"

"Somebody sent it to me, the day after my birthday. Probably some sort of a nasty prank."

"And you decided to go asking around about it?"

"Well, no. Or yes. I went to the Inner City to try to find out what the whole thing might be about since it's the only place I knew that you frequented. That's where I met Cat and she explained everything to me."

Emily felt that she had said too much, but not before it was too late. Paige had dropped the bag, bracing her shoulders, her expression darkening like clouds gathering up.

"Emily, you know how I feel about people talking about me instead of to me."

"I didn't mean to do that."

"Yeah. But you did. And you didn't give me a chance to explain things to you. You could have called me at any time and I would have told you everything."

"Well, I wasn't sure that you would have told me the truth."

"Why wouldn't I have told you?"

"Because, people don't always do that."

"I'm not people Emily. I'm me. And you should know me better than that."

"Please Paige. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I don't want this to drive a wedge between us."

"Well, it did. And it has," Paige let out a sigh before regaining her composure, striking a guarded pose, making her impossible to read. "I think you should go Emily."

"But I just got here."

"Well, and now I'm asking you to leave."

"But...I didn't… Can we…"

"Now. Please. Don't make me have to repeat myself," Paige said through gritted teeth.

Emily dropped the trash bag and looked at Paige who didn't look at her back. She mumbled something inaudible and walked to the front door, defeated.

It was raining when she got outside and she let out a frustrated sigh when she realized that the bus had just left, meaning that she would have to wait in the rain for the next one.

" _Maybe I deserve it,_ " she thought to herself. " _This is senior year all over again. Paige already had to deal with my friends distrusting her when she didn't deserve it. It must be awful to relive that. I should have known better than to distrust her like that._ "

She was pulled from her thoughts by a ping from her phone. She walked to an overpass to keep it from getting wet and got it out, gasping as she read the anonymous message:

 _Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broken. But you can still see the cracks in the reflection._


	24. Chapter 24: Someone in my Corner

"Whew," Ollie exclaimed once he got out of the exam hall. He dropped his textbook on an empty table and threw himself on a nearby chair. "I'm glad that's over and done."

"Yeah," Emily said, taking a seat next to him. "I wasn't really sure with that first part but once I had gone over the rest and had time to think it through I think I got the hang of something that pushed me through it."

"I need a burger," Ollie said and laid his head on the table. "And a drink. And like fifteen years of sleep."

"Ditto."

"So… now that finals are over you'll need to start finding new excuses for not hashing things out with Paige."

"What? Ollie, you have been studying with me. You have noticed how busy I've been. I haven't been using it as an excuse. I might have done something about it if I had the time."

"Do you smell that Emily?" Ollie said and pulled his head up, sniffing.

"Smell what?"

"Bullshit. I know you've been busy. But that's no excuse. You could have made a phone call. Sent a text. Something."

"I don't think a text can mend this situation Ollie."

"Yeah. But it would show that you actually cared."

"I do care."

"Well, then you should show it. I haven't been able to see much of Cat for the last couple of weeks because of the finals but I let her know that I'm thinking about her even though I can't be around her much."

"And she's okay with that?"

"Yeah. She knows I'm trying. Even after I fell asleep that evening when we went to the movies. She just asked me if I had been cramming the night before and when I admitted that I was having a hard time with calculus she offered to help me."

"That's nice."

"It is. But stuff like that doesn't happen unless you talk to one another. So, talk. For goodness sake!"

"Well, we have seen one another. I've still been going to the physical therapy lessons with her."

"And how is that going?"

"The therapy is going great. Coach Fulton wanted me to participate in a qualification for the starter team next season so we've been prepping me for that. Paige thinks that my shoulder is ready for that if I prepare correctly."

"Okay, that's great. But that's not the thing that I wanted to know. How are the two of you getting along during the sessions?"

"Well, she's not being rude to me if that's what you think. All though maybe I totally deserve it. She is still very professional and is making sure that I have the very best opportunity to succeed at the qualification swim."

"But?"

"But what?"

"How is she to you, like personally?"

"She acts like my therapist. Not my friend. If that's what you mean."

"So, total ice queen then?"

"You could say that."

"Some people use that method to deal with being hurt."

"Do you think I hurt her that badly?"

"I think there are many things going on in her life right now. The break-in probably put her off balance and then your comment was the straw that broke the camel's back."

"What should I do?"

"I think you should make it right. When is your try-out?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. And I go back to Pennsylvania on the red-eye the night after that."

"Well, it seems that your postponing has left you running out of time. Have you tried contacting her today?"

"No."

"Emily, do you want to make things right or are you just waiting for it to be too late so you can deny responsibility?"

"Fine! I'll call her. Happy now?"

"This isn't about me. But I think it would make you happier. You just finished a grueling exam session, yet you still look like you're sitting on pins and needles."

"I don't really think I'm sitting on them," Emily responded and then thought to herself: _"I think the pins and needles that I have are in my heart."_

* * *

By the time that the next day rolled around Emily had spent her evening trying to call Paige, but had been utterly unsuccessful at it. Either Paige didn't have her phone on or she wasn't interested in returning Emily's calls. Fortunately Hanna seemed to read Emily's mind and called her shortly after she gave up trying to contact Paige and gave her the pep talk of a lifetime.

"You'll be great tomorrow," she had said enthusiastically on the phone. "I might not know there difference between freestyle and a belly flip but I'm sure you'd be great at both if you put your mind to it. The other girls don't stand a chance against you."

"Well, they have all been training continually for this," Emily had said feeling self-conscious. "I have just gotten back into the pool very recently."  
"Yes. But they have something that you don't have Em. You have grit. Just think about all the stuff that you've been through and you're still hanging in there, doing your best. You're a fighter Em. That's what makes you such a fantastic swimmer."

"I just haven't heard from Paige yet and…"

"Em. I know you feel all banged up about that but that is for another time. You can't wallow in that problem and ruin your chances with this. Then you'll just have a new problem and even though she's pissed at you she probably doesn't want you messing this up because of her. Have you thought that maybe she's keeping her distance in order not for her feelings to take the front seat when you need to be concentrated on this?"

"Maybe."

"So, if she's doing that then respect her sacrifice and go out there tomorrow and do your best. You still have that playlist that you used to listen to back in Rosewood when you competed for the sharks?"

"I think so yes."

"Then tomorrow I want you to put that on. Get in your zone where you don't think about anything but swimming and feeling good while doing it. That is what Paige would want you to do. That is what we all want you to do. We're all rooting for you Em."

Thinking about Hanna's parting words brought warmth into Emily's otherwise stressed heart. She looked around at the other swimmers that were wandering around the natatorium, stretching and doing their preparation. There was no audience for the qualification, which made Emily relieved in some ways but sad in others, for she was so used to drawing energy from their enthusiasm on competition day. Coach Fulton had assured her that there would be plenty of people that would come to watch once the team competed against other schools in the following semester, but for the qualification he preferred to keep it just between the teammates. So instead of looking at the the empty benches, she zipped up her heatsuit and plugged her headphones into her ears while she did the warm up exercises she and Paige had gone over so many times. A familiar song was starting* when the coach gave her the signal get ready for the race. She pulled the headphones from her ears, zipped the suit down and walked towards the diving platform, but as she did she still heard the melody playing in her head. She concentrated on the tune while she took her spot and took a deep breath.

The sharp sound of the marker went off and Emily plunged into the water along with the other swimmers. But once she felt the water surround her body it was as if she had been warped into another reality. She was hyper aware of her movements, yet it felt like her mind's eye had opened in another realm.

 _She was with her old team, celebrating their victory in junior year. The team huddled closely together and Paige passed Emily the trophy. Their hands accidentally clasped together, sending energy that felt like electric currents between the two girls. They both broke apart abruptly after having lingered just a little too long, acting as nothing had happened._

 _"You should carry it when we come out Em. We couldn't have done this without you," Paige said with a smile that beamed with sincerity but then moving into the back of the group, far away from Emily._

Emily turned her body mechanically, still feeling the rhythm of the music, her visions becoming clearer with each confident stroke. Her body knew those movements. She was more at home than she had been for years.

 _Emily finished her last lap, pulling herself up from the pool. The coach looked at her with an approving look._

 _"This is your best time this season Fields. Have you been swimming more laps than usual?"_

 _"Well, yes."_

 _"I haven't seen you using the facilities here more than usual though…"_

 _"Well, I have been frequenting other places…" Emily said as she caught Paige's eye who was drying herself in the other corner. The two girls passed knowing glances and Emily felt a blush creeping into her cheeks as she tried keeping a straight face in front of the coach before joining her giggling girlfriend._

Emily somersaulted and sprung from the wall, torpedoing in the opposite direction. She was halfway there, but she could see some of the other competitors closing in on her. She had started feeling the fatigue and bit her teeth together, hoping to be able to pull through.

 _Emily felt the wave of roars as she grabbed the bank, closing the final lap, sealing victory for the sharks. She heard her friends going crazy in the audience and as she stood victoriously on the bank, ripping her swimming cap off and shaking her hair. But before joining their celebration she headed to her team, high fiving her way through a chaotic bundle of yelling swimmers, scurrying to find her favorite in the bunch. Paige approached her, still shy to show her affection around her teammates, but she warmed up once Emily grabbed her hand and pulled her into a tight huge._

 _"You did it Em," Paige said. "You won._

 _"No," Emily said. "I didn't win. We won. And I don't know about you but I plan to celebrate with someone that I happen to have quite a crush on."_

 _"And who might that be?" Paige said playfully as they approached Emily's friends who jumped excitedly up from the benches._

 _"I don't know if you know her," Emily said. "But she's this insanely talented swimmer. She's fantastic. I think she doesn't always realize how great she is."_

 _"Great enough to do this maybe?" Paige said and in a leap of faith she dipped her head forward, planting a kiss on Emily's lips right on front of everyone. She laid her hands on Emily's shoulders and snuggled her head against the other girl, smirking at Emily's surprised expression. "Sometimes the greatest thing Em, is the element of surprise."_

Emily could finally see the bank closing in. She was neck and neck with two other girls who both seemed to have some second wind left. The fatigue in her arm was spreading into the rest of her body and she felt a desire to stop fighting, just give it up already. She desperately wracked her brain for something that could give her that extra burst of energy that she needed to close the race. She desperately needed an edge.

 _"Everybody needs an edge."_

The bank was moving closer. Emily turned her head to suck some air into her lung and as she blinked she could see a figure materializing from her memory.

 _She noticed Paige giving her a standing ovation the moment she got out of the water. She had a bandaid on her eyebrow but a smile on her lips that spread up to her eyes. For a moment Emily felt the strangest feeling that she wanted to go up to that sad, little girl and hug her, to tell her that she is forgiven, to ask them to start from scratch. She doesn't. She just lets her teammates hug her and accepts their congratulations all the while never taking her eyes off the auburn haired girl that looks at her with such joy and admiration that she almost feels it reaching her like a musical melody; warm, shy and full of hope._

Emily felt her muscles jolt up and noticed that she didn't see anyone closing in on her anymore. She had sped past her competitors and was closing in on the bank, concentrating on reaching the mental fixture that was Paige standing on the bank. She fixated on the memory of the other woman, picturing her incredibly life like, cheering her on. She took her final strokes which ripped with energy and smacked her hand on the bank. She could still feel the warm sensation of Paige's smile as she ripped her cap off and pulled herself victoriously out of the water. She was met with coach Fulton who passed her a towel and smirked:

"I knew you could do it Fields, but damn girl, that's just showing off."

"Thanks...coach," she said, feeling the warmth of the familiar word.

"Now don't go slacking off during Christmas. I want to see you fit and ready to compete after the break. Can I count on that?"

"Yes coach. You can count on me."

"Remind me to send McCullers a thank you note. She seems to have worked wonders with you."

"Yes, yes she has," Emily said and she thought back to the memory that had pulled her through the last moments of the lap, pushing her to excel. She thought about it again, the auburn haired girl that she had conjured from her memory, smiling to her from the corner of the natatorium. Except that it wasn't her imagination. She stared in complete disbelief at Paige standing in the corner and applauding quietly, giving her a smile of confidence. She knew exactly what that smile meant for she had seen it countless times before:

" _I knew you could do it."_

"Paige…" Emily said and started scurrying towards where the other woman was standing but got interupted by someone grabbing her shoulder.

"Wow, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," a tall woman said, raising her hands up. "I'm Grace, the team captain. I'd just like to welcome you to the official competition team. You have some amazing moves. We're very lucky to have you."

"Thanks," Emily said, not fully taking the complement in. "Do you mind, I just need to grab my stuff."

"Absolutely, no problem. I'll be with the coach if you want to catch up afterwards."

"I will. Nice to meet you Grace," Emily said and turned towards where she had seen the auburn haired woman but found the corner where she had stood to be empty.

"I guess it was just my imagination," she mumbled to herself as she walked towards where she had just seen Paige but stopped when she noticed that there was something lying on the ground. It was a small sailboat, folded from a piece of notebook paper.

"Or maybe I didn't," Emily said and smiled to herself as she walked to her stuff, sticking the small object into her bag before she joined her new team captain and coach.

 **Author's notes: A couple of things I almost forgot to put in. The song that I had in mind for the pre swimming scene (where I did a star * mark) was "If I lose myself" by One Republic. And then in the end of the story I was thinking about some parts of "Guys Like Paige".  
** **I know that the flashbacks during the swims were all muddled up, some being from when Paige and Emily were a couple and some not, but I hope they didn't come off as too confusing, because I felt putting them in the order that they were was the only way that they would play out correctly for the scene.  
** **Some of the flashbacks are from stuff that was actually shown happening on the show, while others were stuff that I made up as "stolen moments", so if you are wondering why you don't remember a certain flashback from the show then don't worry, I made it up.  
Once again I want to thank you for reading the story and know that I always appreciate your input and thoughts (did you love that chapter? hate it? feel that something could be executed in a better fashion? I want to know). **


	25. Chapter 25: Setting Sail

"I wish I could have been there to see you," Hanna said and sipped her coffee.

The two women had ended up at an all night diner close to Emily's apartment after having finished packing her bags, and receiving a phone call from Caleb assuring them that his and Hanna's stuff was packed and ready and that he would come to pick them up for the airport after he finished some last minute work.

"I doubt you would have found it fun," Emily said and eyed her bag, picturing the paper sailboat that was hiding within. "It was just the qualifying match, meaning that I'm in the team now but I still have to train like crazy if I hope to beat any of the other schools. If I fail to do so I will just disappoint everybody."

"You are talking nonsense Em and you know it," Hanna said and put her hands on the table. "I might have not been there but I talked to Grace when she dropped you off. She was completely over the moon in admiration for you. I wasn't sure she wanted you as an anchor leg or as a future wife."

"Just because someone admired you it doesn't mean that they see you romantically," Emily said and rolled her eyes. "Gosh Hanna. You think that everyone has the hots for me."

"No. Usually I think people have the hots for me. But this time around I didn't get the chance to dazzle this someone with my amazing talents. It was you who got to shine today Em and impress everybody with your amazing moves," Hanna said and stood up. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Once Hanna had disappeared out of sight Emily got her bag up from underneath the table and carefully retrieved the small paper sailboat who had gotten slightly crumpled up from the tumble of her getting her swimming equipment out and packing the stuff in that she needed for her Christmas break in Rosewood. She rolled it between her fingers, biting her lip pensively, thinking back.

 _Emily jogged from the natatorium down the stairs of the main hall and into the school yard. She slowed her pace and snuck up to the auburn haired girl that was sitting alone at the table next to the wall before grabbing her shoulders and drawing her in for a tight hug._

 _"Jeez Em, you startled me," Paige said after having regained her composure._

 _"I'm sorry," Emily said and noticed that the other girl had dropped something underneath the table. She bent down to retrieve it; it was a small sailboat, made out of notebook paper. "What's this?"_

 _"Oh, it's just something I like to make," Paige said and seemed momentarily uncomfortable, like she was evaluating what she was allowed to say._

 _"Okay, any specific reason?"_

 _"It's just something I like to do," Paige said and shrugged before ripping another page from her notebook. "I like to see how many times I can fold it together. First you make a regularly sized boat, then you make a smaller one out of that and then an even smaller one out of that one._

 _"Now I want to try," Emily said and peeled back the layers of paper that she had in her hand._

 _"Em, don't do that."  
"Don't worry. I'll make you a new one."_

 _"It's not…" the auburn haired girl said hesitantly, stopping once the other girl was finished peeling the paper apart. "...that."_

 _There was something written on one side of the paper. Emily recognized Paige's clunky handwriting; she could have known it anywhere._

 _[_ _I wonder if Em will be wearing that blouse today_ _]_

 _"Why did you write this?" Emily asked and looked at the other girl who was blushing profusely. "And then fold it into a sailboat?"_

 _Paige was silent for a while, struggling to let the words out all the while becoming increasingly flushed. After a hefty silence she finally blurted out:_

 _"I started doing this a while back. I got the idea when I was making notes for a history exam and would organize cards into different shelves in my room depending on the subject. Someone told me that it would help me to make a mindmap. So, later when I thought about something and I didn't have anybody to tell it to I would write it down and fold it into a sailboat like this. Sometimes it's just a word or a sentence. But sometimes it's long texts. Unfolding stories. Confessions, you could call them. And then I would see how many times I could fold it. And then my thoughts were out there, not visible to others because they were folded away, but still there, in a physical form. And that made me feel better about it all somehow."_

 _"And one of those thoughts was whether I would be wearing a blouse?"_

 _"If I told you you'd just think I was weird."_

 _"Well I don't. I think it's sort of dorky. But in an adorable way. What else do you write in these things?"_

 _"Just… you know. Things that I'd like to say but I can't seem to find the right way. Sometimes I don't have the courage and sometimes the moment just passes before I find the correct words."_

 _"And what do you do with them?"_

 _"Sometimes I keep them. But then I will have too many, so I will set them out to sail."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Yeah. There is a lake close to here where I like to bike to and sometimes I will take them with me."_

 _"But why do it that way? Why not just throw them away or something since you're getting rid of them anyway?"_

 _"Because Em, ships set out to sea for a purpose. They have something or someone within them that is trying to reach somewhere else for a reason. They might not ever get there and get lost on their way but they still set out there."_

 _"I didn't know you were so poetic."_

 _"Well," Paige said, still fighting her blush that fortunately seemed to be vaining. "It's not something that I like to parade around. It's my secret. The side of me that only I know about."_

 _"I happened to like knowing that side of you. And I promise, your secret is safe with me," Emily said and kissed Paige's brow gently. "Did I ruin it by opening it up?"_

 _"No, not at all," Paige said and continued folding another piece of paper. "These are things i wish I could say. So, you opening it up means that now you know one more thing I wished that i could say out loud."_

 _"That you really like a blouse that I wear?"_

 _"Well," Paige said and finished folding a new sailboat, sliding it over to Emily._

 _The other girl took it up and folded it apart with a curious look on her face. It had a single sentence inside:_

 _[_ _It's the lilac one with the little frills on the shoulders. It makes her look super hot_ _]_

"Hey Em, Caleb just called. He'll be picking us up to go to the airport soon," Hanna stopped dead in her tracks. "What is that in your hand?"

"Oh, this? Nothing, it's silly," Emily muttered and tried to shove the sailboat back into her bag but dropped it clumsily on the floor instead.

"Em, remember what we agreed on after last year," Hanna said. "No more secrets. At least not ones that don't involve surprise parties."

"It's not a secret… I don't… Okay. Fine!" Emily threw her hands up in the air and then proceeded to tell her friends about Paige's little habit of writing things on sailboats.

"That is adorable," Hanna said. "In an incredibly, unbelievably dorky manner."

"That's what I said when I found out," Emily said. "When I was swimming I thought I saw Paige standing in the corner of the natatorium but she had disappeared before I had a chance to get closer. I thought it was all in my imagination but then I found this and I knew that it couldn't be."

"You don't think that someone else could have left it there?"

"No. This was our secret. Out of all the things that A managed to find out about my life and used to toy with us, this was not one of them."

"So, have you read it?"

"No. I hadn't thought to do so…"  
"Well, you should. She didn't put it there so you wouldn't read it. Which reminds me, I need to call Caleb and ask him to find my agenda and bring it with him. I can't go back to Rosewood without it," Hanna said and stood up, grabbing her phone from her purse and standing up from the table. "Happy reading."

Emily smiled, watching her friend walk away to the outside of the diner to make the phone call. She folded the small boat apart, careful not to damage any of the tightly folded paper. But once it was completely apart, she found it to be blank. Emily stared at the white paper with a perplexed look, trying to piece together what it meant until she saw her blond friend returning to the table.

"Well, Caleb said he'd look for it, but it means that he will get a little delayed so I think we should get ourselves another round of coffee," Hanna said motioning the waitress who approached the table.

"Excuse me mam, but do you have a pen that I could borrow?" Emily asked the friendly looking woman who had just finished topping her cup off.

"Sure I do sweet cheeks," she said and fished a pen out of her breast pocket handing it to Emily. "Just leave it on the table when you're done, okay?"

"Will do. Thanks," Emily said and smiled. She picked the pen up and looked up to face a puzzled looking Hanna. "We need to make a short stop before we go to the airport. I hope that's okay with you and Caleb."

* * *

Paige was up and feeling restless even before her alarm clock went off. She decided that since it was even too early to show up for the office that she would go out for a jog in order to ease off some of the tension that she felt in her body.

An hour later, when she got back from the intense run that she had decided to take she felt the enjoyable buzz of adrenaline course through her body, but unfortunately it seemed to not have reached her heart which still beat with a heavy, droning rhythm. She got her mail before heading up to her apartment, unlocking the door and tapping the pin for her alarm which the locksmith assured her would be the best defense against burglars that money could buy. She flipped the coffee machine on while working her way through bills and ad pamphlets but dropped the entire bundle on the floor when she found something oddly shaped amongst them. It was a sailboat. Even though it was folded she could see that it was covered in words and hastily folded it apart. She immediately recognized the handwriting, the large loops on the l's and the g's, and the way the capital a was written like a large lowercase:

Pretty Little Lies

I didn't use to think of myself as a liar. I used to think of myself as a good person, or at least someone that tried to do the right thing, no matter the consequences. I used to think that was the way that my parents raised me and so that is who I became to be. Except that turned out to be just one of the many lies that I told. I don't hold Alison responsible for making me into a liar, she just tapped into a resource that was already there and made the most of it. I got so used to lying when I was her friend that I started doing it without even questioning it. I would lie to go to college parties with her, I would lie that I liked boys so nobody would know how I felt about her, I would lie that I supported her when it came to injuring Jenna and playing these cruel tricks on our schoolmates when really I couldn't think about these incidents without getting sick to my stomach…

But more importantly, I would also constantly lie to the person that it was the most harmful to: myself. I spent years lying to myself about how I felt about girls, passing it off as nothing more than me wanting to be friends with them. I lied to myself that it wasn't your ambition, your enthusiasm and that intense face you made when you were preparing for a swim meet, that I pictured in my head when I was trying to seem engaged with Ben. The reason why I was surprised when I found out that Ali targeted you was not because it was not logical but because I was lying to myself about the interest that I showed you that she had obviously picked up on and decided to take revenge for. I lied to myself that I could manage the pain in my shoulder without anybody's help which ended up tearing us apart because I didn't want to face up to how serious it really was. I lied because it made my life seem more manageable and it got me away from the truth which could often be very ugly and hard to deal with. But lying to myself has not only hurt me, it has hurt those around me, those I care about the most and that includes you. And now it has done so yet again.

I didn't suspect that you would lie about that video because it is something that you would do. I suspected it because it is something that I would have done. I deflected the worst of my qualities on to you and instead of calling myself on that lie I treated you like the suspect that you never deserved to be. Not in Rosewood and not now. I used to defend you when my friends accused you because it was easy to call someone else on that behavior. I just wish that I could have been as truthful with myself. It might have saved you a world of hurt. For that I am deeply sorry.

The flight back to Rosewood that the girls gave me for my birthday is leaving in a couple of hours and I don't think I can make Hanna send Caleb after more pointless stuff to put in her suitcase so I need to end this letter right here. I don't know if you will receive it or not. But like you used to say; I have put it out there and it has a purpose, a receiver to reach and I hope that it does just that.

I'll give you all the space you need but once you are ready to talk, I'd love to hear from you.

Yours,

Emily.


	26. Chapter 26: Glitter in the Air

**Author's Note: So, I decided that this would work as a one-shot and decided to publish it in that format to give fans of one-shots a chance to enjoy the entry too and because of the fanfiction's guidelines I am only allowed to publish each piece one time. Therefor I would kindly like to ask you to read this week's chapter in the following link where I posted it as a one-shot. I hope this isn't too much trouble.**

Link to this weeks chapter, "Glitter in the Air" can be found in the following link: s/12051647/1/Glitter-in-the-Air (just copy it and paste behind the regular fanfiction url or look for the one-shot fic on my author page with the same title as this week's chapter)

 **So, as you might have noticed, this chapter doesn't do much for the story plot-wise. The reason why I wanted to write it regardless to that is not because I had writer's block and needed a filler but rather that I have felt so many times while watching the show that Paily gets the short end of the stick. They don't get as many scenes as the other couples where they are just shown being together and happy, and the biggest example of this was the fact that they made a three month jump almost the moment where Paily gets back together and start the show again with Paige leaving for California, so we got a lot of Paige and Emily arguing and breaking up, getting back together, a lot of will-they-won't-they, and once they get back together it's whomp! three months later and they are breaking up again because Paige is leaving and that really angered me. So, by writing this chapter, as little as it does for the overall plot of the story, I'm trying to bring more depth into their relationship, show more of the two of them being happy and intimate together and therefor why they still have such a strong connection with each other, even after all these years. I hope that this translates into the writing and manages to create a more concrete idea of their relationship. Again, thanks for reading and make sure to review.**


	27. Chapter 27: Someone Watching Over Me

The days in Rosewood lulled by in comfortable stillness. Emily frequented her regular places with Hanna, the Grill, the Brew, the Rosewood Mall, with the latest one being Hanna's suggestion. They welcomed Spencer back a couple of days after their own arrival, helping her to move into the apartment that was to become her permanent residence in Rosewood and then Aria a couple of days after that. Seeing the petite brunette again brought warmth into Emily's heart, who hugged her sincerely before the girls headed to Spencer's new place for a small, housewarming party. After one cup too many of the Montgomery special mulled wine the four of them ended up staying the night with Aria and Spencer splitting the bed while Emily and Hanna dozed off in the couch. Emily woke up some time during the night, getting up to get a glass of water in the kitchen. When she had put the glass in the washing machine she took a moment, gazing outside the kitchen window. There had been heavy snowfalls since before she got to Rosewood with Hanna and Caleb and it showed no signs of stopping. The entire street was covered in in white, with icicles drooping off the rooftops and fat snowflakes floating in front of the lamp posts. But as Emily scrunched her eyes, she noticed that something wasn't quite right. The shadow next to one of the lamp posts was unnaturally large. Was there someone there?

Emily pulled some pants on and zipped up her jacket. She scrambled to get her shoes on, not bothering to tie the laces before sliding quietly out of the apartment. But once she got to the street below, she saw nobody there.  
" _Maybe it was just my imagination,"_ she thought to herself. It wouldn't have been the first time. After the gruelling experience of being chased down by various anonymous assailants she sometimes still caught herself chasing shadows that turned out to be nothing at all.

"Hang on," she said to herself as she approached the light post where she thought she had seen the shadowy entity cowering behind. Compressed into the snow were some definite visible footprints. Emily walked alongside them, making sure not to tread into the path that she was following. She approached one of the houses on the other side of the street where the path led to a frozen drain pipe. Emily looked around to make sure that she wasn't missing anything but this was definitely where the path ended. Was her mind playing tricks with her, or did whoever just stood next to the light post mount that pipe to make her lose their trail? Why would they do that unless they were trying to hide the fact that they were standing outside Spencer's' house to begin with? She heard a ruckus, which startled her and made the roof of the house shake, dropping large clumps of snow down to the ground. Emily walked back to where she could peek up to the roof but didn't see any movement.

"Em, watch out!" a voice suddenly shot through the air and before Emily could turn around somebody drove right into her. She lost her balance and stepping on her untied shoelaces she, along with the mystery person, tumbled onto the snowy ground.

Emily scuffled to get back up, having fallen a couple of meters from the place where she originally stood while trying to get a look at the person that had just rammed her into the ground. She needed to look no further than the blond hair and flashy looking winter jacket and shouted:

"Hanna, what the heck?"

But before Hanna managed to compose herself enough to respond, they were both interrupted by an icicle breaking from the roof and shattering into a million pieces in the spot where Emily had just stood seconds before.

"I woke up and noticed that the sofa was empty and when I didn't find you anywhere I went outside. That's when I saw you standing there like a gopher with that thing dangling over your head. What were you thinking Em?"

"I went out for some fresh air. I was feeling a little queasy. I didn't notice that icicle. I'm really sorry okay?"

"I'm not mad at you. I just got really freaked out. Having spent so much time avoiding an untimely death at the hands of psychotic masked men, it would be really ironic to die at the hands of a falling icicle don't you think?"

"Yeah, that would be really ironic. Thanks Han," Emily said, noticing that their scuffle had erased any remainder of the footprints that the mystery person had left, making it impossible for her to take a closer look at them.

"Anytime. Let's get you inside. You are soaked."

Once the two girls got inside they met the two other girls who jumped up with a worried look.

"Em, Han. Where did you guys go?" Spencer demanded.

"Em here decided to go for a joy walk and almost got impaled by an icicle," Hanna said.

"Jeez," Aria said. "You look so cold. I'll make us some tea."

"If we're having tea I want some of those cookies that you brought with you two," Hanna insisted before turning to Spencer. "What? I totally saved the day. I get to pick what I want."

"Can you believe this is our life now?" Spencer said while wrapping Emily in a large blanket and motioning her towards one of the kitchen stools that overlooked the window. "No longer worrying about masked figures and mysterious letters but instead we have to watch out for hangovers and frozen water that falls from the air."

The girls let out a hearty laugh, and gratefully accepted their tea mugs from Aria, sipping the hot beverage and making small talk, except Em, who feigned interest while still peering outside into the dark.

 _"Who are you?"_ she thought to herself while her friends chatted obliviously around her. _"And what do you want from me?"_

 ** _Author's note: So, I know that this chapter was a bit shorter, it has been a while since I published a chapter and there was no Paily in this particular chapter. But rest assured, I plan to release at least one more chapter, along with a one-shot that gives more in-depth character backstory, before this week is over and I have to start my next bout of 12 hour shifts (the last shift-program lasted almost a week, explaining why I have been so inactive as of lately). Thanks for your patience, your interest and your reviews. It is all greatly appreciated._**


	28. Chapter 28: Floating in Serenity

The day after the incident, Hanna seemed to have caught an outside bug because she was the only one willing to actually get a move on. The girls didn't get up until in the afternoon and even then they seemed to be heading for nothing more complicated than some take-out and a TV-marathon.

"Come on girls," Hanna said, zipping up her coat. "I want to go out."

"Sorry Han," Aria said. "I'm still feeling really jetlagged."

"And I need to watch my little squirrel here," Spencer said and patted Aria's head. "Besides, my folks will be in tomorrow night and I really need to recharge my batteries before meeting them."

"I'll go with you," Emily said and got up.

"See," Hanna said and grabbed Emily's arm. "Em gets it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The two women ended up having a rather nice time strolling lazily around the town in Rosewood, taking their time to pop in for a visit at both of their mom's houses. Once they said goodbye to Mrs. Fields Hanna dragged Emily along in the direction of the Grille.

"Han, we just got cobbler at my mom's, how can you still be hungry?"

"Because even if that cobbler was great, I still need those cheese sticks," Hanna said. "And I was suppose to meet Caleb there later tonight so I might as well be there early."

"I haven't seen much of Caleb since we got back. Why is that?"

"Well you know Caleb. He has his work all packed up with him in that computer of his. And besides, he has his own friends. He doesn't have to spend all his free time hanging with mine."

"That's true."

"Oh, look, there he is. Hey babe!" Hanna said and waved.

"There is someone with him," Emily said and peered.

Once they approached the two women saw that the scarf-clad figure that was walking next to Caleb happened to be none other than Paige McCullers.

"Hey Paige, I didn't know you were back in Rosewood for Christmas," Hanna said.

"Well, here I am," Paige said and shrugged her shoulders. "So, what were you guys up to?"

"Hanna wants us to go the the Grille," Emily said. "But I'm honestly not that hungry so I was hoping to maybe go for a swim."

"Well, then worry no more," Hanna said. "I have Caleb to take care of me now. You girls go ahead for your swim."

"I didn't say I was coming…" Paige said. "Caleb where are you…"

But the couple had locked arms as were walking away to the Grille. Emily could overhear their playful banter.

"So, can I get some of your cheesestick?"

"Hanna, get your own!"

"So, my own and some of yours?"

"Hanna, I'll get your anything you want, just walk a little faster."

Emily turned to Paige who gave her a smile and an awkward shrug:

"Did our friends just dump us on each other?"

"I guess they did. Why are you back here?"

"I still have some family here even though my parents decided to jump ship. So I drove from California to be with them here. They're staying at my uncles but I felt it was getting a little too crowded so I got myself a room at the Radley."

"Wow. That's quite fancy Paige."

"I just… like my privacy. I can drive up to meet them any time that I want."

 _"You like keeping people at arm's length don't you?"_ Emily thought. "So, I was thinking about going to see if the Natatorium is still open, are you up for it?"

"No such luck. They close early during the holidays. All though…" Paige said and a little mystery snuck into her smile.

"You look like you're about to tell me a secret," Emily said.

"Is it that obvious?"

"You always wear your heart on your sleeve Paige. You would make a terrible poker player," Emily let out a hearty laugh.

"Are you done insulting my capacities?" Paige said feigning offense.

"Okay. I'm done. I'm sorry. So, what is the secret you so obviously want to tell me?"

"It's not really a secret that can be told. It's more of a secret that can be shown," Paige said and spun her keychain around her finger. "Come on, my car is parked just around the corner."

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The Natatorium looked a lot different in the night time than it did during the day. Emily looked around, thinking how she would be really freaked out about being there if there wasn't someone else around. She turned around to find Paige who had just appeared in the doorway with an apologetic smile on her face.  
"I can't believe that I didn't know it was so easy to sneak in here," Emily said.

"Yeah. I used to sneak in here all the time when we were in high school. I often felt like swimming somewhere where there was nobody else around. Just me and the water," Paige said, reappearing in the doorway with an apologetic look on her face. " But I'm afraid I have to say I'm sorry Em. I could have sworn that I packed my swimming stuff when I went to meet Caleb but I must have left it in my room."

"Well, there's only one solution to that it seems," Emily said and unbuckled her pants. "I'll race you."

Speeding ahead of the other woman, Emily shed her shirt and grabbed her legs as she threw herself into the clear water. She felt the impact of Paige hitting the water behind her and turned around to find her having already torpedoed back to the surface.

"Come on," she said and splashed her face.

"Oh, I'm going to get you for that," Paige yelled.

"Only if you catch me," Emily said and started racing to the other side of the pool.

The two women chased each other back on forth for a while until Emily grabbed the bank of the pool, feeling a strain of fatigue shooting through her shoulder. She could hear Paige approaching her:  
"Em, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just feeling a little tense."

"It's going to be like that for a while. I'm sorry, it's not going to get any easier. Your body is trying to fight the improvement."

"That just sounds so wrong."

"Well, it doesn't know what you know. So it tries to do the best thing it can think of to protect you: hold you back."

"Sometimes people do that too."

"That is very true. Can I?" Paige felt along her forearm. "Yeah. There is some definite tension here. It's a hard area to tackle because you're always using these muscles."

"Even when I lie down?"  
"Yes. People always think that they will heal by laying down, but with some injuries, like back problems, lying down can actually be the worst thing that you do. You're always using your body. Even when you're lying down."

"So, there is no way to relax this?"

"Well, there are ways. There is this activity called floating, where you relax in a tub of salts, that make you float to the surface. You don't need to struggle to stay afloat so your body can just relax."

"Like floating on a cloud?"

"Exactly. Like floating on a cloud."

"How much salt do you need for something like that?"

"It depends on the size of your tub. For a pool like this one I would guess… maybe a couple of tons."

"A couple of tons? Well, out goes that idea."

"There is another version of it."

"How does that one go?"

"If you have someone holding you up you don't need to stay afloat. It's not as good as the other version but it's definitely something."

"So, can we try that one, please?" Emily turned to face Paige. "I've been getting headaches because of the tension and just the idea that I won't have to feel my pulse in my head anymore would be a relief."

Paige looked at her for a few moments, silently assessing the situation before dipping her head a little:

"Okay then. Just relax onto your back. I will maintain you by your upper part."

"Will do captain," Emily said and did a mock-salute.

"Listen Emily, you're going to have your ears under water so you won't be able to hear me anymore. The most important part is just for you to relax. If you panic, you will sink. So just trust that I'll keep you afloat and try to relax. Clear your mind."

"I'll try my best," Emily said before sliding her head into the water. She felt Paige, who had balanced herself by placing her feet on the small support next to bank, placing her hands on her shoulder blades, not pressing her, but rather gently maintaining her pose. For some time Emily could only feel the gentle touch on her skin, the water flowing around her body and saw nothing but the darkness that was her eyelids, but after floating for a while it seemed like the darkness became animated. It formed into pictures, persons even and the sound of the water transformed into the sound of people chattering. She was back in Rosewood High, junior year and Paige was by her side.

 _"I can't believe you're already preparing for Christmas," Paige said and snickered. "It's not even Thanksgiving."_

 _They are snuggled away together behind some columns in the courtyard, away from prying eyes, away from the thing that Paige fears so greatly: being outed._

 _"But I always prepare for Christmas before Thanksgiving," Emily said. "I even do it before my birthday. My entire autumn semester is usually spent secretly plotting things for Christmas."_

 _"You are such a Christmas girl," Paige said. "You should have a t-shirt that says that."_

 _"I happen to have one," Emily said. "It says 'This girl loves Christmas'."_

 _"No way!" Paige laughed loudly._

 _"Well, don't you have any time of the year like that? A preferred season?"_

 _"Not really. I've never even been too fond of my own birthday."_

 _"But you must have something."_

 _"Well, I'm sure I'd like Christmas, the kind of Christmas I could have with you…" she trails off and dips her head, not meeting Emily's gaze._

 _Emily feels a warm feeling in her stomach, travelling up her body. The way that she looks so awkward when she says it, yet it's one of the most sincere things that she has heard. She looks at her face and wonders how anyone can be so embarrassed by something so genuine._

 _"Come here," she says and cups the other girls' chin with her hand before planting a generous kiss on her lip. Paige lingers, leaning in, making the most that she can of it, kissing like she isn't sure that she is ever going to have another chance to do it._

The scene dissolves, before forming into another one. There is snow outside and there is the two of them again, sitting by the window in Spencer's guestroom, just watching quietly as the fat flakes fall onto the ground.

 _"Have you ever wished for an endless night?" Emily asked as she snuggled closer into Paige's embrace who sat against the window frame._

 _"What do you mean?" Paige asked. She turned her head to get a better look at Emily. "Em, is that why your skin is so soft and your hair is so shiny; are you a vampire?"_

 _"You are the worst! You know that?" Emily said and playfully pushed her girlfriend's' shoulder before kissing her cheek._

 _"No, not the bite. I don't want to join the army of the damned! On a second thought, maybe I do," she said before turning her head and kissing Emily back. "Okay. I'll bite. Why would you want an endless night?"_

 _"Not just any endless night," Emily said. "If I really had magical powers I would make this night endless. To be honest I don't really want this storm to be over. For the moment I just want us to stay here forever. No parents, no one to take you away from me and to California, no scary, outside forces threatening us. Just us in this perfect little bubble."_

 _"You know, there can be life outside that bubble Emily," Paige said and Emily watched as the falling snowflakes reflected in her eyes. "There can be a life there for us too."_

 _"Right now it just seems too impossible. Like there are all these pieces in front of me that I can't put together and I can't be free either until they are solved."_

 _"Have you ever thought that maybe you don't need to be the one to fix everything?"_

 _"I don't have to. I want to. I want to make things right."_

 _"Well, you wouldn't be the Emily that I love without it. Okay, I'll humour you. For now we can create our own little bubble and let nothing stand in the way of just being here in this moment."_

 _"Promise?"_

 _"I promise."_

Emily could feel that the fabric around her visions was dissolving. In a desperate attempt to hold on she seemed to travel back, much further back than she had before. She wasn't only younger at that time but smaller too. Dressed in a large coat, warm hat and some fluffy mittens she felt how she clasped the arm of a taller and much sturdier figure.

 _"Do you see it Emmy?"_

 _"I see it Dad, it's right there on the corner like it always is."_

 _"Such an observant girl, come on, let's get in," Wayne Fields said as he walked an eight year old Emily into a small tent in the Rosewood Christmas Village. "You know what? Here are five dollars. You go and get us our drinks. I'll find us a seat."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Really. You're a big girl Emmy."_

 _Emily felt the nervous tingling in her stomach as she approached the counter. She had been there many times before but this was the first time that she was going to place the order herself._

 _"Two Christmas Special Chocolates please," she told the friendly looking man who accepted her money and gave her back her change._

 _"Coming right up," he said and turned to the machines. "I must say you have grown little miss. Or should I say large miss now that you are getting so big. Are you still swimming?"_

 _"Yes mister Wayner," Emily said. "I'm even in the team."_

 _"Wow, that's quite impressive," mister Wayner said handed her two steaming cups. "Now run along to your dad. And don't forget to return the cups when you are done."_

 _"Thank you and I won't," Emily said and carefully carried the two cups to the table that her dad had found them in the back of the tent._

 _"Here we go," Wayne said. "Are you ready?"_

 _Emily nodded and observed her cup excitedly. The father and daughter waited patiently while there were bubbles that started coming out of the liquid before a small marshmallow figure popped up to the surface of each one of the cups._

 _"What did you get Emmy?" Wayne asked._

 _"I got Pingy," Emily said and beamed with excitement._

 _"Well, I think you are right," Wayne said looking over at her cup. "In that case you're not going to believe what I got."_

 _"Wingy!" Emily yelled as her dad turned his cup around for her to see._

 _"Well, they can never go too long without one another can they?" Wayne asked and fiddled with a small camera._

 _"No. Pingy and Wingy should always be together. Like you and Mommy," Emily said and put the cups together, smiling in self contentment while her dad clicked the camera._

 _"This one is definitely going to the wallet," he said to himself before putting the camera back down and drinking the hot chocolate with his daughter._

Emily smiled at the sight of his face, feeling the serenity that had always seemed to beam from him flow through her.

 _Their cups were empty and her dad clamped his gloved hands together before extending one of them to her: "Come on Emmy. Let's see what your Mom has got cooked for us."_

Finally the visions dissolved completely and Emily could feel her modern day self again in the warm pool water. There was someone trying to talk to her. She raised her head to catch what Paige was saying.

"Uhm, Em, my arms are getting sort of sore and there is this guy that does a security round here and we sort of need to scamper now if we don't want him to catch us."  
"Of course. How long has it been?"

"You have been floating there for around half an hour."

"Really?" Emily said, grabbing the bank and pulling herself up. "Why didn't you let me know sooner? You shouldn't have had to do that for so long. You must be exhausted."

"You looked so serene floating there. I didn't want to disturb you," Paige said, pulling herself up right behind Emily and picking her clothes up from the floor. "Like you were having the most wondrous of dreams."

"Maybe I was," Emily mumbled to herself as she buttoned her shirt up again, feeling it stick to her wet body. "Paige?"

"Yes?"

"There used to be this place that I used to go…" she hesitated for a bit, but a loud voice in her head screamed _"Just get it out!"_ so she bit her lip before continuing. "...with my dad. We used to go there every year when the Christmas Village was set up in town. It's wonderful. You really have to see it to believe it. It's this hole in the wall that… anyways, I haven't been there since he died. Heck, I've even been avoiding going near the Christmas Village because I knew it was there and I wasn't sure how I felt about it…"

"I can understand that. It must be so hard for you Em."

"It is. But that's not the point of what I wanted to say. I wanted to ask you, if you don't have anything planned for tomorrow would you maybe care to go there...with me?"


	29. Chapter 29: Christmas Miracles

Emily woke up the next morning with a tingling sensation in her stomach. She couldn't quite place her finger on what type of feeling was rumbling in her stomach. Was it nervousness, was it anticipation or was it something completely different, she quizzed herself as she picked scrambled eggs off the pan and poured herself some orange juice.

"So sweetheart, what are your plans for today?" Pam asked her once they had sat down at the breakfast table. Despite it only being the two of them, Pam still insisted that mealtimes were sacred and that they should always sit down and eat in proper style.

"Just… you know… stuff," Emily said and buried her face into her plate. "I was thinking that maybe I would go and check out the Christmas Village."

"You haven't been there since your father…" Pam trailed off and Emily noticed visible anguish in her expression.

"I know. But I just thought that it might be a tradition that I'd like to take up again."

"Your father would have loved that," Pam said and smiled sincerely. "From the moment that he noticed how much you loved Christmas he would pin the opening date of the Christmas Village on his calendar to make sure that he would have time to take you."

"Mom, he started taking me there when I was three. I doubt that I had any specific opinions on Christmas at that age."

"Let me remind you that you were three when you insisted that the decorative snowman that your dad brought home when he came home from tour would be named Snowy. And you had a very heated argument about the fact that she was definitely a 'snowgirl' and not a 'snowman'."

"How do you even remember those things?"

"Because, afterwards he took you out to see the Christmas Village for the first time and when you guys came back your eyes just shimmered with joy. It was the greatest present that I could have asked for."

Emily smiled into her glass of orange juice but turned around to see that her mother had disappeared into the living room. She noticed that her cell phone was buzzing and pulled it up to find a new message from Paige:

[You said to meet up at 2 o'clock right?]

As Emily typed in her response she observed her mom dashing back into the room, carrying something that she held carefully in her hand, as if it was a fragile glass snowball.

"Here," she said and passed an old polaroid photo to Emily. "Careful with the orange juice dear. I don't have another copy."

Emily pushed her plate away and tilted her head to get a better look. The photograph had been plastered to keep it safe from the elements but had obviously gotten a little yellow from the turn of the time. But still, she could clearly make out the content: it was her, dressed in a large, furry hat, holding a cup that was way too big for her small hands. Her dad was next to her, looking almost as excited and she did and was clasping a secure arm over her tiny frame.

"Why have I never seen this?"

"Well, you had so many great Christmas memories with your father that it's understandable that you never got around to seeing all of them," Pam said and her eyes glistened in the sunlight. "But I kept them all. Every single one of them. Because how could I not? Those photos, those memories, they meant everything to him Emmy."

"Me too mom," Emily said as she brought her mom in for a hug, nuzzling against her as she felt a small tear fall on her shirt lapel, not knowing from which one of it came from, deciding against commenting on it. "Me too."

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Emily showed up a little late for her rendezvous, having gotten delayed by some last minute gift wrapping, which got promptly shoved into her handbag. Paige was already there, standing in the meadow that the trees on the town square cast in the winter light. She was dressed in warm attire, large gloves and a very familiar brown jacket.

"I can't believe you still have that old thing," Emily gestured towards her jacket. "I remember you wearing it to that fair that we…" she let that sentence trail off without Paige objecting to it, not wanting to rip up old wounds.

"It was my granddads," Paige said, doing a small awkward head dip. "He got it when he was a fighter pilot."

"I didn't know your grandfather was in the military," Emily said with a tone of genuine surprise.

"Yup yup. He fought in the Korean war. Was a decorated officer and everything."

"How come you never told me any of this."

"Well, you never asked. And, besides, I don't really talk about my granddad to other people. But shouldn't we get going?"

"Yes, definitely," Emily said and turned to strike up a steady pace with Paige walking beside her.

The marched along the main road of the Christmas Market, observing happy families that lulled between booths, looking at the objects that they displayed with great enthusiasm.

"Just wait until I show you the booth," Emily said as they drew closer. "It's a real hole in the wall kind of place."

As they approached the tiny booth, the two women brushed against one another. Emily felt the comforting aura of Paige's presence next to her and without thinking she linked her arm to hers. The touch felt comfortable, familiar in the sense that she usually felt coming to a place that she associated with being home after a really long trip. But once she realized what she was doing she quickly broke away, awkwardly brushing hair from her face as a way to find something else to do with her hands.

"Sorry," she said and failed to meet the other woman's eye. "Force of habit I guess…"

"Don't sweat it Em," Paige said, stopping in her tracks to face her. "I get it. I really do."

"Anyway, we are here," Emily said and gestured towards the miniscule tent. "Shall we?"

As they entered the tent, Emily heard a familiar voice acknowledging her presence. She nodded amicably and gestured towards the small selection of tables:

"Can you find us a seat? I'll be right back with our beverages."  
"No problem. I'm on it," Paige said, blinking as she turned towards the drinking hall.

Emily turned away from Paige and walked towards the serving counter where she was met with the familiar smile of Mister Wayner.

"Miss Fields, it's a pleasure to see you again?"

"You still remember me Mister Wayner?" Emily asked, genuinely shocked.

"Of course I do. How could I forget. It has been how many years now?"

"Too many. But I am back now."

"I see that you have brought new company. I never got around to paying my condolences for your dad. He will be missed around these parts Miss Fields. That is one thing I can say for sure."

"Yeah, he surely will. So, how about two of your Christmas Special Chocolates?"

"Coming right up Miss Fields," Mister Wayner said and turned towards the machines. "So, who is that lovely lady that you have decided to bring along with you today?"

"Her name is Paige McCullers. And yes, she is quite lovely."

"I don't doubt that for a second. So, is that your special someone?"

"No. We're just friends. Why would you think that?"

"I might only be a man Miss Fields, but in my long time of servicing people, I have gotten to know quite a lot about the way people feel depending on their body language."

"Is that so?"

"Indeed."

"And what does my body language tell you?"

"Are we being honest here miss?"

"Very, incredibly honest. I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

"I have been welcoming you here since you were a child Miss. I could see how much your father meant to you by the way that you were around one another when you came here and the fact that he would bring you here every year because you seemed to love it so much. It's a fact which makes me deeply honored. And I also know that you haven't been here since the time of his passing. Which leads me to conclude that you wouldn't bring anyone here unless that person had your entire and utmost trust."

"You're a wise man Mister Wayner," Emily said, not really knowing how to process what the old man had just told her.

"You flatter me too much," Mister Wayner said and placed two cups on the counter. "I am simply an old many that has seen many a things."

"I don't doubt that," Emily said, reaching for her purse. "So, how much do I owe you?"

"This one is one the house Miss Fields," Mister Wayner said and smiled. "Just enjoy your Special Christmas Chocolate with the one that you obviously hold so dear."

"Thank you," Emily said, turning around with the two cups in hand, approaching a smiling Paige that sat in the corner of the tent, before muttering: "I will."

"So, what were you two having such an intense conversation about?" Paige asked while Emily took a seat and disposed of the cups on the table.

"Just, reminiscing you know?" Emily said. "Mister Wayner used to know my father."

"I figured," Paige said, munching on a mix of nuts and cranberries that were placed in a bowl on the table. "So, what do we do now?"

"Now, we play the waiting game," Emily said and pushed Paige's cup towards her. "There is this trick that Mister Wayner has up his sleeve. I don't know how he does it…"

"It must be magic then," Paige said and stuck a new handful into her mouth. "Christmas magic."

Emily giggled and nudged Paige's shoulder playfully while not taking her eyes off her cup. After a few moments a figure started appearing at the surface.

"What is that?" Paige said, leaning over to get a closer look.

"Don't you see? It's Santa!" Emily said excitedly.

"Wait, are you sure…" Paige tilted her head. "Oh, now I see it. He even has his sack of goodies and everything."

"Yeah, there is so much detail, it's incredible. Okay, what did you get?"

"I don't know. Whatever Christmas creature it is it's quite shy," Paige said leaning over her cup, accidentally dropping a cranberry into her drink. It floated to the surface with something else slowly appearing. "Aw man. I'm so sorry, I'm such a clutz!"

"Don't worry. It's no big deal," Emily said looking at Paige's cup. "Oh look, it's reindeer!"

"Not just any reindeer," Paige said with her mouth hanging open as they both noticed the wandering cranberry placed firmly on the nose of the figure that bopped on top of her chocolate.

"It's Rudolph!" the both said in unison before looking at each other, bursting out in a heartfelt laugh.

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The two women wandered around the market, side to side, not saying anything but basking in the pleasure of each other's company in the setting winter sun.

"What are you thinking about?" Emily asked, turning around to face Paige.

"I'm thinking that I'm sort of sorry for having eaten poor little Rudolph with such gusto. That little guy really never stood a chance," Paige said, generating a large chuckle from Emily. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about why I never asked you more about your grandfather. He seemed to have been someone really special to you. And then I realized that I might have been a little too much caught up in my own stuff at the time that you told me about that."

"Em, you don't have to apologize to me. I know you had a lot of stuff going on and I wasn't telling you that for you to throw me a pity party."

"That's not why I'm admitting this to you Paige. What I'm saying is that I'd love it if you told me a little more about him. If you feel like sharing it is…"

"Yeah, sure," Paige said, stopping in front of bench where they both sat down. She took a few moments collecting herself before speaking again. "Oh man, where do I begin? Alan really was one of a kind, and I'm not just saying that because he was my granddad. He just had this good aura that seemed to influence everybody around him. All he ever wanted was to make people feel happy and good about themselves. When I was a kid I wasn't always so sure about myself but he would always find ways to make me feel better."

"Like how?" Emily asked, already engrossed in Paige's tale and excited to hear more.

"This one time when I was at a summer seminar in field hockey. They had us in mixed gender teams since we were still so young and I got into a fight with this boy. He was pissed that I had scored more goals than him and said that it didn't count since I was only ever so good 'for a girl'. So we started wrestling one another and he ended up biting me."

"He bit you? Really?"

"Yeah. And once we got torn apart and calmed down, my granddad had just arrived and the boy's helicopter dad just started ripping him a new one about how the whole incident was my fault and this was prove that they should have never let the girls play a 'man's sport'."

"What a tool!"

"He totally was. And when we we're leaving he cornered us in the parking lot demanding that my granddad would be taking serious actions because of this incident. And my granddad looks at him all serious and tells him 'I can assure you that I see this matter very seriously and will be taking action immediately. We will be starting by taking my girl to the ER in order to get her a hearty set of rabies shots."

"Oh my gosh," Emily blurted out before bursting into laughter. She took some time to catch her breath again before speaking again. "I wish I could have met him. He sounds like such an awesome guy."

"He was. He really was," Paige said, her facial expression showing a strange mixture of joy and melancholy. "When I started growing up and… coming into my own I wasn't really feeling so good about it... at that time. I had just had this one particularly hellish day at highschool and he had popped in for a visit. I had hidden in the back of the garden but of course he knew that it was my secret spot so he came out there when he didn't see me around the house. I couldn't tell him what was wrong because how could I? I hadn't even admitted it to myself at the time… He could sense that something was wrong and I admitted to him that someone was bullying me, which was true but it was not the entire truth."

"And what did he do?"

"He took off his old jacket and put it over me, telling me how he didn't want me to be miserable _and_ cold. It got me smiling, for the first time in what felt like ages, and I hugged him close while putting the jacket properly. After that he told me something that I'll always remember. 'You're a fighter Paige. Never forget that. Sometimes to win the fight the trick is not to perform a flashy attack but rather just to survive and wait until your opponent burns themselves out. You will survive this Paige, because this too shall pass. And now you have your battle armor to help you to weather this storm. '"

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It was late evening when they finally reached Emily's doorsteps again. They faced each other, standing around awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye.

"I had a great time with you today," Emily said. "Thanks for coming with me. I don't think I would have been able to do this without you."

"I had a pretty good time too," Paige said, giving Emily a heartwarming smirk. "And I could say the same to you because I have never told anyone about these things before."

"I hope I didn't pressure you into doing it."

"No, I wanted to. Maybe I have wanted to for a long time. You just said the magic words so I could finally get around to."

"See. There is nothing that a little Christmas magic can't make happen. Oh, and I almost forgot," Emily reached down into her bag, fishing a large packet out before handing it to Paige. "I got you this a couple of days back. I was going to give it back to you when I came back to California but since you're here and I won't see you tomorrow…"

"Aw Em, you shouldn't have. And I didn't get you anything."

"You gave me today and your wonderful stories. That's more than I could have asked for," Emily said, before leaning in, giving Paige a small peck on the cheek before turning around and dashing up the stairs. "Merry Christmas Paige."

"A very merry Christmas to you too," Paige said to herself after Emily had gotten inside her house. "May all your wishes come true."

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Paige was feeling fatigued once she got back to her hotel room, having just gotten off the phone with her mom. She had promised that she would head up to her uncle's place first thing tomorrow to spend some quality time with the family. She disposed off her stuff on the table, shaking her jacket off her shoulders before carefully placing it in the room's closet. She turned around and took a lingering look at the shimmering present.

"Oh to heck with it," she said to herself before picking it up, tearing the tape off the corners. "It's my gift and I'll open it when I want to."

She shredded the paper off the flat rectangular packet to uncover a familiar picture frame. There was a small note pinned on it.

[ _I know how much your photo montage meant to you and how upset you must have been when it got broken in the break-in. So when I saw this I couldn't resist getting it for you. I hope you don't mind that I got you an extra one, for making new, amazing memories. And I slipped something a little special in there too. I found it when I was looking around in my old room. I don't really need it because the time that we had there, how could I ever forget?_

 _I hope you have yourself a merry little Christmas,_

 _Yours,_

 _Emily.]_

Paige shuffled the two frames in her hands, noticing a small picture that had been inserted in the upper left corner. Two excited teenage girls smiled at her from the image.

"You are absolutely right," Paige thought to herself before saying out loud in the silence of her hotel room. "How could I ever forget?"

 _"Have you got it?" Emily asked, sitting candidly on the large rock next to the river._

 _"Just a second," Paige said, fumbling with the position of the camera. "Okay, I think I got it. I can't believe that I asked Aria to lend me this camera and didn't even get around to ask her how to operate it. Okay, ready? We have ten seconds."_

 _Paige ran over to her girlfriend, grabbing her waist and pulling her in for a hug._

 _"Wait, I'm not ready. It won't look pretty."_

 _"Emily, you always look pretty. Better than that. You are beautiful. Always."_

 _"Oh you…" Emily said, giving a beaming smile as the camera flashed._

 _"All done," Paige said and ran back to the camera. She turned to hear a thunder rumbling in the distance. "Oh man, it's going to start raining again."_

 _"Well, this time we won't be on a canoe in the middle of the middle of the river," Emily said, walking towards her girlfriend. "I'll tell you what? How about we ditch the camping and sleeping under the stars for just one night? We can drive up to Easton and book a hotel room."_

 _"You'd like that?" Paige asked, disposing of the camera into her rucksack._

 _"I would," Emily said and placed her arms around the other girl, pulling her into a deep kiss. "In fact, wait until we get there and I'll show you just how much I'd appreciate it."_

Paige grinned as she felt a blush creeping into her cheeks, reminiscing about how Emily had indeed shown her full appreciation in the shadowy silence of their hotel room, with the city buzzing far below them. She fished the photograph out of the frame, glancing over it as she cupped the spot on her cheek that Emily had kissed earlier that evening.

"Merry Christmas Em," Paige said, and looked at the girl in the photo that she found, still after all those years, so breathtakingly beautiful, before placing a small kiss on the photograph. "I think my wishes already came true."

 **Author's Notes: So, I'm sorry if I'm cramming too much Christmas in the story, but I just thought that since it's Emily's favorite holiday and she is one of the central character of the story, it deserved some recognition.**

 **And in case you were wondering about the flashback sounding familiar, I wrote it with some of the scenes in "Shadow Play" in mind. I always always convinced that what happened in that episode wasn't only a figment of Spencer's imagination.  
Thanks for reading and make sure to review :).**


	30. Chapter 30: Blow me one last kiss

Emily slouched back in her booth, cradling a glass in one hand and flipping her phone around in the other. She unlocked the screen again, looking over the date. It was still December the 28th but it wouldn't be long until the night would sail into a new day. She flicked her messages open, checking to see if she had gotten any new messages even though she knew better; the phone would have beeped if she had received something. The only thing that glowed back at her was the four letter word at the bottom of the screen:  
 _Seen.  
_ She stared into her half emptied glass, feeling a deep chasm of gloom widening in her chest. There was a bustle at the door but she continued staring down, knowing that she wasn't waiting on anybody, since her phone had stayed silent. But suddenly she noticed a presence next to her and turned to see a familiar pair of sneakers. She looked up.

"Hey there," Paige said. "Come here often?"

"Out of everything that you could have opened with and you go with that line?" Emily asked playfully, looking over the other woman before her tone turned more somber. "You didn't reply to my message."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Paige said and took a seat facing her. "I tried to write you a couple of times that I was on my way but my phone just kept on giving me an error message. Maybe all the chlorine has finally got to it."

"Maybe it has…" Emily mumbled and took another sip.

"I'll have whatever she's having," Paige said to the waitress that scurried promptly away after having stopped quizzingly in front of her. "So, Em, what's eating at you?"

"How do you know that something is eating at me?" Emily asked.

"Well, for starters you texted me to see if I could meet you at this time and day, in here out of all places," Paige said and looked around the rustic bar. "I'm glad to see they kept their interior design by the way."

"Yeah, why change something if it's working?"

"True," Paige laughed before looking seriously at Emily. "But, even if it wasn't for that text… You look like someone just peed in your cereal. So, are we going to play twenty questions again, or are you just going to tell me what is wrong? I'm not used to seeing you so gloomy over the holidays."

"Where do I start…" Emily said, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the task of unburdening herself.

"I find that it's usually best to start at the beginning," Paige said, accepting a glass from the waitress who walked briskly away again. "But you can do it any way that you are comfortable with. Was there something amiss amongst your usual Christmas cheeriness?"

"No, not like that. Christmas itself was fine. Me and mom went and visited some of my cousins that live upstate and the entire evening passed along wonderfully. The last couple of days have been fantastic actually. I even told her about our visit to the Christmas Market and she was overjoyed that we were keeping my dad's traditions alive."

"But then…?"

"Then… then came tonight," Emily said, staring intently at the yellow liquid in her glass. "Mom sat me down and we had a talk. She explained that she couldn't really keep up with the mortgage of the house on a single paycheck. I asked if she wanted me to send her some money but she told me that there was no need for that. Because… because she told me, the problem wasn't just the money but the fact that a house like that was too big for just one person to live in. That it should belong to a family, a couple with kids that could play in the garden and make use of the bedrooms for more than just the occasional guest."

"Oh Em…"

"So, she has decided that she wants to sell the house. Get a smaller place. Something that makes sense for a single woman."

"Well, that makes sense to some extent."

"I know that. That's the worst part," Emily said and glided her hand over her head, letting out an exasperated sigh. "I know that this is the right thing for her to do. She has been for far too long alone in that empty house. No husband to coming through the front door. No grandkids playing on the porch…"

"Well, you're still young. You never know…"

"My point is, I get that the only thing that has been keeping her there is the fact that she feels she would be betraying my dad by moving out. But she has been working a lot on herself so I think she has gotten over that fear and wants to try moving on."

"So, that's good I guess?"

"It is. It truly is. You don't know for how long I've been longing for her to just be happy. To be something more than Wayne Fields widow."

"But?"

"And that's the reason I feel like such a horrible person for feeling the way I feel," Emily said, fighting tears as she looked up at Paige who was studying her expression intensely.

"And how do you feel? Don't worry. I won't judge," Paige said and shrugged.

"I feel… betrayed somehow. I can't explain how or why. I just do. I want to be supportive of my mom, of course I do, but when she told me I just couldn't shake this feeling that she was somehow betraying me and dad. So, after she went to bed I went back out because I couldn't sleep, and I just wanted to go somewhere excluded…"

"So you ended up _here_?"

"Well, if you thought it was remote enough to risk making out with me in the parking lot I thought that it might just be secluded enough for me not to run into anyone that I know," Emily said with a grin.

"And then you decided to call me?"

"Yeah… Well… I…" Emily said, suddenly realizing the absurdity of her previous statement. "I didn't want to meet nobody that I knew, just not _anybody._ I'm not making any sense anymore…"

"Strangely I think I understand what you mean."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I think I do."

"And you don't think I'm horrible and selfish for feeling the way that I do?"

"Em, I don't know if anybody has ever told you this, but there is no correct way to feel about things. You just feel the way you feel. You might know that it's not logical. But that still doesn't change the fact that it's the way you feel."

"And what can I do about it?"

"Just feel it. If it's based on nothing, it will pass. It's just a ghost of something that you used to know that still has a hold of you. Eventually it will wash away."

"Why are you always so full of good advices?" Emily asked, tilting her head up to get a good look at Paige.

"You make me sound like Yoda," Paige said and laughed awkwardly. "Usually I can't even help my friends when it comes to assembling IKEA furniture. But when it comes to this I happen to have some experience."

"How so?"

"Em, when I moved to California, the thing that we had wasn't the only thing that changed. Everything changed. At least for me," Paige said as she fished her phone from her pocket and unlocked the screen. She clicked a couple of times and slid it toward Emily, who tilted the phone upwards to see the picture on the screen. In the forefront she could see a small boy with a Christmas hat, smiling a toothless grin. And behind him, clad in an almost unnaturally ugly-looking reindeer sweater was the same auburn haired woman that sat opposed to her.

"Paige?" Emily said. "Who is this?"

"His name is Parker," Paige said and hesitated for a moment before continuing. "He's my baby brother."

Emily felt as if someone had just dumped a large bucket of water over her. The surprise hit her like a heavy wave, tugging at her chest. She took a deep breath and before asking:

"How old is he?"

"He turned six in September. Just started school this semester. Won't stop talking about it."

"So that means that he was born…" Emily let the sentence trail off.

"...Six months after I left Rosewood," Paige finished.

"Did you know? When you said goodbye to me?"

"No. I actually didn't. My parents kept insisting that I would transfer early and I just thought they were being overprotective. But once I got to California, they sat me down and told me. Mom wasn't suppose to be able to have more kids. Not after me. There were complications… Anyway, they had made a few attempts and gave up a long time ago so at that point it came as a total surprise. They told me that they were still nervous because it was still the first trimester but that they wanted me to know and to tell me in person. They wanted us to be able to be together somewhere that was safe… as a family."

"Is that why you told me that you needed some space?" Emily asked, seeing in her mind's eye how the puzzles started slowly fitting together.

"Yes. You have to understand Em, at that point I just didn't know what to think. I was happy, of course. And my parents were over the moon. But there were these little voices in me that were whispering things to me. Stuff that I didn't want to hear, didn't want to feel."

"Like what?"

"They were ridiculous, and I know that now. But like I said, I just needed to feel them. I feared that he would somehow replace me, become the ideal child that I couldn't become. And then I started panicking, remembering how miserable I had been in high school and that he might have to go through the same things that I did. I became absolutely terrified."

"What got you through it?"

"I realized that I was deflecting my own insecurities onto someone that wasn't even born and it just dawned on me how ridiculous it all was. Which turned out to be right, of course, because despite the fact that he is only six and mostly thinks about race cars and what he wants to eat for dinner, he is still his own person. He is not me. And he never will be. Whatever experiences he will or will not have will be his own," Paige made a short pause before continuing: "But there is something you need to know Em. I never forgot about you. Once I managed to get out of my own head I tried contacting you but I was too late. You had been arrested and I tried phoning every day to get more information about it but I didn't get any answers until your disappearance hit the news. I tried to follow as I could and the second that you were found I was ready to jump on the first plane back to Pennsylvania and be there for you but…"

"...I didn't let you," Emily finished her sentence, she sighed feeling the weight of her own ill thought decisions.. "I was so sure that if I just threw myself into fixing someone else, someone that had it worse than I did, my own problems would just vanish."

"You are a very empathic person Em. I understand that it is something that you would do. I really do. But I also understood that if you didn't want me there I couldn't force myself upon you."

"Sometimes I wish that you had anyway. But thanks for respecting my wishes. Even if they were ill thought through."

"I wish I could say that I had."

"What do you mean?"

"I vowed to do exactly as you said and just take my leave. But I just couldn't. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be. I saw the announcement about the prom from friends that I had back in Rosewood. I remembered how much you had talked about that being the formality that you were looking forward to. So I got a couple of days off from my preparation classes in Stanford and I came back."

"How did I not know about this?" Emily asked open mouthed. "You never said…"

"That's because I was so embarrassed," Paige said and stared at the table. "I got dressed up, even got you one of those cheesy flowers to put on your hand. I was ready to sweep you off your feet. To tell you that whatever you were going through you wouldn't have to do it alone. That I was going to be there for you. But then when I came to the prom I saw you. You looked absolutely stunning…"

"Oh no…" Emily said and buried her head in her hands, glancing nervously at Paige, who looked absolutely devastated reliving the events of that evening.

"...but you were dancing with someone else. Real close. So I guessed that you had found someone else to get you through your demons. And I left."

"Paige, I'm so sorry," Emily said, feeling her eyes getting wetter. "That… whatever that was, it was a mistake that I wish I could take back."

"Don't be sorry. It was me who made a mistake. I let you go when you needed me, so I guess I kind of deserved seeing you in the arms of someone else."

"Did you stay?"

"No. I got the next flight back to California and spent the next two days holed up in my dorm feeling sorry for myself. My roommate finally managed to get me out of my cave during the weekend and dragged me to some dingy frat party where she left me to go be with her boyfriend."

"Some friend…"

"It wasn't all bad. I did get immensely drunk and blacked out but that was the night that I met Cat. And I don't think that is something I would have wanted to miss."

"She told me about that. But she never told me why you were in such a bad way that night."

"I never told her. I didn't want anyone to know. But I'm telling you now."

"Thanks for trusting me with this."

"It's a truth that belongs to you."

"Well, consider it kept," Emily said. She didn't know what more to say so the two women passed a couple of moments in silence, letting the truth linger between them before Emily approached another subject: "I don't know if you feel like telling me and I don't know if I have any right to ask, but I want to know more about Parker. What is he like? Do you have any more pictures?"

"Yeah, a whole bunch. He just loves the camera," Paige said, picking her phone up from the table.

They passed the next hour huddling together over the phone, with Paige detailing each picture, explaining the stories behind them and then going into more details about how Parker had missed her graduation because of a nasty flu but had insisted that their parents attended in order to videotape the entire thing, which Paige had then shown him afterwards. Emily listened enchanted to stories about how Paige had taught him how to play field hockey and swim freestyle, all though he had grown more fond of soccer, looking over pictures of Paige helping him learning to ride a bike, the two of them laughing together and huddled together in a race car shaped bed with Paige reading him a bedtime story. Emily felt a small pang in her chest, a strange mixture of joy and a bitter longing to have something that could make her light up the same way that the women in front of her did when she talked about her precious little brother. She was ripped from her own thinking by Paige's voice:

"I'm going to get us a refill. You want anything different?"

"No. I'm good with the same."

Paige returned to the table with two full glasses and passed one to Emily.

"So, were you with him when I texted you?"

"No, he was sound asleep. He's only six after all. Besides, I was around town. I had some errands to run."

"Anything interesting?"

"No, it mostly turned about to be a bust," Paige said and blew hair from her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it. It will just make me more bummed. Are you feeling any better?"

"A little. You were right. Sometimes you just need to accept that you feel bummed about something. At least then you aren't feeling bummed and stressed about the fact that you're bummed."

"You should put that on a sticker," Paige said. "So we're just two sour pusses tonight, aren't we?"

"Yeah. I guess we are," Emily said laughing before raising her glass. "Cheers for having a shabby day and just dealing with it."

"I'll drink to that," Paige said, clinking her glass to Emily's, taking a sip and then placing it back on the table. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to go to the bathroom."

Once Paige got back to the booth she was surprised to find it empty. She heard loud cheering in the rear end of the bar and turned towards the noise to find Emily standing in front of her holding a mic, giving her a daring look.

"What are you up to now?" Paige asked, approaching the other woman.

"I'm dealing with the shabbiness of being bummed out," Emily said, shaking another mic in Paige's direction. "Won't you join me?"

Paige let out a nervous chuckle before marching towards the other woman, grabbing the mic from her hand and joining her in the jam. She felt release as she sang along with the lyrics, not caring for how raspy her voice sounded as she raised it to the roaring approval of the crowd.

"Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit day," Emily sung, looking over to the auburn haired woman facing her.

"Have you had a shit day?" Paige sung back, blinking at the raven haired woman who smiled back at her.

"We've had a shit day!" they bellowed together with the crowd singing along with them. They grabbed a hold of each other before continuing, almost missing the rest of the lyrics from toppling over with laughter. Emily felt release as she jumped up and down, exaggerating her movements, the feelings that she had been fighting back all day washing over her. They were there, they were real and she had them and in accepting that she found a new sense of freedom as she continued the next verse, looking over to Paige doing the same, feeling a curious tingle starting to build within her before finishing with:

"...Just blow me one last kiss."

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Emily and Paige stumbled out of the Hungry Owl around the time that the last call had been announced. Emily giggled as Paige fumbled around with her phone, trying to look up a number.

"I should probably get a cab, seeing that I'm not exactly fit to drive," Paige said, pressing her phone insistently. "It's still giving me problems, darn thing."

"I'll do it," Emily said and got her phone out, tapping a couple of things in before putting it back down. "Done, it will be here in a couple of minutes."  
"You're a lifesaver," Paige said. "I had a really good time tonight."

"It was strange," Emily said. "But in a good way."

"It really was. I don't really know how to conclude a night like this."

"I do," Emily said, brushing the hair from Paige's face before leaning in to gently grasp it with both of her hands. Tilting towards the other woman she leaned her forehead against her. "I won't do it, if you don't think it's right."

"Em, at this point I don't even care what's right," Paige said, letting out a heavy breath. "I don't think I could not do this, even if I tried."

The first contact was timid, almost as if they had never done this before. Emily felt as Paige's lips brushed up to her own, before feeling familiar warmth spreading over her, deepening the kiss who grew more impatient, hungrier, deeper. She felt the pressure of the other woman's hand clasping her hand as she leaned in closer, letting a small gasp escape, opening her mouth to welcome in the heat that she had been missing for too long.

As they broke away, hearing the cab screeching behind them, they took a long look at each other, smiling as they still clung their hands together, brushing their fingers slowly against one another. For whatever this thing was, as wrong or complicated as it might become, at this moment it somehow felt just right.

 **Author's Notes: Disclaimer: All the lyrics belong to P!nk and are from the song "Blow Me One Last Kiss."**


	31. Chapter 31: Watching You

**Author's notes 1: So I wasn't planning on updating today, I was just going to write a few passages, but then I got cracking. You know how it goes. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this update, even though it's sort of short it packs in stuff plot wise so I felt that it needed to be a chapter on its own.**

When Emily awoke in the morning, she felt as if something wasn't sitting right. Her head was heavy and clouded and she had a dry taste in her mouth. She raised her head a little, feeling a heavy pulsation in her temple, noticing that she was lying in a bed she didn't quite recognize. When looking to her side she noticed that she was lying on white, ironed sheets. It looked to be hotel sheets -nobody in their right mind would have those kind of linen in their home. As she was slowly taking in what was in front of her she felt a stirring next to her and her heart jumped in panic. Turning around she discovered that there was someone lying next to her; she noticed a toned arm that was hanging from underneath the covers and was making contact with her upper arm. She racked her brain, desperately trying to remember what she had been up to the night before but coming up blank. The last thing she recalled was going to the Hungry Owl for a drink and texting someone. Had she really gotten blackout drunk and picked up a stranger? Was that the sort of thing she did these days?

With her heart in her throat she shuffled around, trying to get a better view of the person lying beside her. They were both wearing some clothing so whatever she had set out to do with this person the night before she doubted that they had taken things all the way or there would have been a whole lot less of garment between them and a much bigger pile on the floor. She bit her lip nervously, not knowing if she should try to wake the other person up and just get the whole awkwardness over with or if she should try to gather more clues as to where she was and how she had ended up there. Or better yet, if she could slip sleuthily out of bed, gather her clothes and escape this whole mess before it had a chance to dump itself on her. But before she could decide more on what she wanted to do, she noticed the other person stirring in their slumber. They turned around, letting their other hand fall down to their side and revealing a messy tangle of auburn hair and a sun kissed face that was twitching slightly before easing into a relaxed state once again. Emily let out a gasp of surprise that she tried to silence by clasping her hand over her mouth which had fallen open. She could have recognized that face anywhere. Lying next to her was none other than Paige McCullers. Trying to compose herself, she pushed herself slightly up, resting on her elbows which sent a wobble through the mattress, making the other woman shift closer to her. As Paige's hand rolled to touch Emily's torso, her eyes started to creep open and she looked sleepily on the woman before her.

"Am I still dreaming?" Paige asked drowsily, smirking a little before she closed her eyes again.

"Not unless I am too," Emily answered for a lack of better explenation.

"Don't wake me up just yet," Paige mumbled, now flashing a full smile. "Five more minutes."

"Paige," Emily said, looking as the other woman opened her eyes to find her staring intensely at her. "I don't think either of us is dreaming this…"

"Wait…" Paige's eyes shot open and she looked back to Emily. She seemed completely dumbfounded. "So, this isn't just some crazy dream that I'm having?"

"No, I am right here Paige. I don't know how or why and I was hoping that you could help me with that one."

"Hang on, just give me a moment," Paige said, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. "Well, I know where we are if that is of any help."

"Your room at the Radley?"

"Yeah. Do you remember us getting here?"

"No, I just noticed the mark on the sheets and your stuff around the room so I figured."

"Always the detective, aren't you?"

"This isn't funny Paige. I honestly don't remember coming here."

"Well, that makes two of us. Last night is sort of foggy."

"Did we really have that much to drink last night?"

"No. I don't recall being on a binger. But then again, I don't recall a whole lot of things," Paige answered, her voice husky from sleep. She shifted discreetly in the bed, away from Emily and reached into the pile of clothes that was lying next to the bed.

"Are you late for something?" Emily asked, coming off harsher than she intended to as she observed the other woman slipping into a pair of jeans.

"No. No, of course not," Paige said. "I just didn't want to… you know, make you feel uncomfortable."

"Seeing you in your underwear is the least of my worries right now," Emily said, suddenly feeling aware of her own bare skin. She pulled the covers up, wondering if her presence made the other woman uncomfortable.

"Maybe I'm just being ridiculous," Paige said and shrugged. "We've seen each other like this before. But that was a long time ago."

"A very long time ago," Emily mumbled, observing the poor job the auburn woman's tank top did you conceal her figure. She took in how closely it fell against her, how she still had a habit of pulling her shoulders back with her thumbs hooked into her pockets. She snapped out of her stare, trying to concentrate on the situation before them. "The last thing I remember was that I had an argument with my mom and went to the Hungry Owl. Did we meet there?"

"I guess we did," Paige said, tapping on her cell phone. "I have a text from you asking me to come there and meet you so I know I wasn't there by mere chance."

"Anything else on there that could shed some light on what we were doing there?" Emily asked.

"Nope. Nothing. But I think we can assume that it included drinking. Wasn't yesterday kareoki night?"

"You still remember that?"

"I could never forget. But maybe this was just one of those things that are better left forgotten."

"What do you mean?"

"Our singing for example. It's a thing I would want to drink to forget."

Emily let out a relieved laugh as she watched the grin spread over Paige's face.

"You are such a dork," Emily said, feeling some of the weight ease off her shoulders.

"But it cheered you up," Paige responded, giving her a reassuring look as she took a seat on the bed. "Listen Em, we probably just got a little too caught up in reliving old times and forgot how much we had to drink. I bet you stayed over here because you didn't want to wake your mom up by stumbling up the stairs in the middle of the night."

"That sounds like something I would do," Emily said and rolled her eyes. "I always think I'm taking such genius decisions when I'm drunk."

"You were being considerate. That is something that you never quite turn off."

Emily felt ease spread through her as Paige looked at her with warmth in her smile. After all this time and she still knew her so well.

"I should probably text her," Emily said, looking around for her phone. "Since I'm suppose to be staying at her place she might have gotten worried when I didn't come home."

"You do that," Paige said and got up from the bed. "I just need to get a glass of water. I feel like I have sandpaper in my throat."

Once Paige had disappeared into the bathroom Emily got up from the bed, putting her pants and shirt on, feeling a new wave of relief wash over her when she discovered that her wallet and phone were safely in their respective pockets. She was about to get her phone out to text her mom when she noticed something sticking from underneath the door; it was a brown manila envelope. As she picked it up she felt an uneasy feeling clawing at her stomach, tearing at the easiness that Paige's casual manner had awoken in her just moments before. When she opened it up and took a look at its content she felt like the walls were closing in, trapping her in a state of pure panic. She heard Paige rustling in the bathroom and her brain went into a freefall of flight. Without giving it another thought, she yanked the door to the room open and making a run for the outside. But it wasn't until she heard the door slam behind her that she realized that she had left the envelope and its content behind. As she panicked, biting back fearful tears, she made a split second decision, running for the elevator and hammering on the button. It opened up almost instantly and she jumped inside, smashing the buttons for the ground floor and the shutting of the doors. She couldn't breathe, her thoughts a panic ridden mess. For it was happening again. And she was getting Paige caught in the crossfire.

Paige got out of the bathroom with two glasses of water, only to hear the door to her room slamming shut.

"Em? Where are you?" she looked around but found that she was alone in the room. Disappointed she put the glasses down on the nightstand. "It wouldn't have killed you to say goodbye."

 _"Was it something I did? Something I said?"_ she thought to herself as she sat down on the bed. _"She seemed to be fine moments ago. Unless she was faking it. But that doesn't really sound like the Emily that I used to know. But then again, a lot of things can change in five years. Do I really know her anymore_ _?_ _"_

She stared into the distance, pondering at the events that had just transpired, but drawing nothing but blanks, not too unlike her memories of the night before. It wasn't until she reached to get herself a drink of water that she noticed that something was lying underneath the glasses that hadn't been there before. It was an envelope that looked like it had been dropped there in much haste with pictures sticking out of its opening. As she took a closer look she felt a shiver run down her spine. It was a series of pictures of her and Emily, some with the backdrop of the parking lot at the Hungry Owl and some on the stairwell in this very hotel. They were focused on each other, kissing, holding hands, embracing, completely unaware of the fact that someone had been watching them. Paige turned the last photo around to find a messages scrawled on its back:

 **[Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you]**

 **Author's notes 2** **: The lyrics belong to Denmark + Winter.  
SPOILER FROM EPISODE 7x08 : Anywho, what did everyone think of Paige's return to PLL. I have felt so many emotions concerning this. First off I am glad to hear that Paily got some happy times together, even if they are in the past there existed some point where Emily felt happy, safe and loved, a small eternity if you will. Secondly I am sort of irritated that we didn't get to see any of it. Thirdly I am immensely heartbroken by the fact that those two characters that were obviously happy with one another got torn apart by such a senseless tragedy. And the moment where Paige refused to let Emily take the fall for their breakup, if there was any shadow of a doubt before that they are meant for each other, I think that fact completely wiped it out. Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts, both on the chapter and the return of a dearly missed shark. **


	32. Chapter 32: Just a Kiss

Emily's eyes scanned the white corridors and the people that were pacing back and forth within it: some were clad in robes, doubtlessly on important errands. Others were people just like her, looking just as nervous and uneasy as she did. They all probably had a good reason to. Hospitals usually didn't signify good things, not for anyone. But most people were there for diagnosis and discussion on what pill to take, what treatment to have to make whatever was ailing them to go away. She somehow doubted that any of them were in there for the same reasons as she was, to try to piece together a puzzle in which they didn't even know what all the pieces looked like. She had already paid a hefty sum out of her savings account to rush the results and was now in to receive them. Some poor soul had probably worked all the way through their holidays to make sure that they would be delivered to her promptly.

She pulled out her phone and looked at it. Paige had texted her, today and yesterday, asking her if she would like to meet up with her. Emily bit her lip. Poor Paige. She had left in such a rush, without explaining anything and she was bewildered that she still wanted to see her. But that was Paige, she told herself. Ever so noble, even in the face of complete dismissal. But she wasn't dismissing her, at least not on purpose. She had to know this, before she planned on how to continue, before she decided if it was even safe to do so. She was interrupted by a young nurse that opened a door close to where she was waiting.

"Miss Fields. Could you please come in? Doctor Deavis will see you now."

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Emily rushed out of the hospital, shoving the envelope with her results deep into her bag. She needed fresh air and she needed it now. She skimmed around, looking for the closest exit but suddenly heard a familiar voice:

"Em? I didn't expect to see you here."

It was Hanna, entering the corridor from another direction. Emily turned around in her steps to face her.

"I could say the same for you," she responded, not knowing how to continue.

"Did something happen? What are you doing here?" her blond friend asked with a worried look.

"No, it was nothing. Just a regular checkup that I needed to have. For the swim team, you know? To see if I was fit to start competing again," Emily answered and focused on her friend. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know, just the regular checkup. Blood pressure and stuff. I've had a lot of stress with the preparation for the show tonight."

"Right, the show," Emily said. Lucas had offered his company's headquarters to host a party to introduce Hanna's newest line, assuring her that it would work as good publicity for him too. Even Spencer had joined in, mixing the introductory evening for her new bosses' candidature for State Council, announcing to the girls that it would be an unmissable event: the New Year's Eve Party of the Century.

"Hey, hey there," Hanna said, noticing how disheveled Emily looked, almost jumping out of her skin when she heard the blond's voice. "Want to go get a cup of coffee or something?"

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The Brew had the same atmosphere as it always had: it was bustling with people and yet it seemed serene and cozy. Emily stirred her coffee cup and realized that Hanna was looking at her over the brim of her glass.

"So, you want to tell me what's up with you?" she asked, setting her iced tea down.

"Where do you want me to start?" Emily asked, wondering the same thing herself. "Because I seriously have no idea."

"Oh I don't know. You could maybe tell me how you ended up in a lip lock with Paige McCullers three nights ago."

Emily's mouth flew open:

"How did you…?"

"You could have chosen a more discreet place to do it than a hallway at the Radley," Hanna said, giving Emily a hefty smirk before continuing. "I went there to help my mom close up and stayed talking to her for while. I saw the two of you crashing in when I was about to leave. You didn't look like you could keep your hands off of each other."

"We did it in the middle of the lobby?"

"Nah, just next to the elevator. And then probably in the elevator. And the hallway leading to your room."

"Oh God," Emily said and covered her face with her hands.

"What's wrong? You seemed to be into it. I thought that would be good news. Who cares that I saw some of the action? Nothing I haven't seen before. I did go to my Spring Break with Mona, remember?"

"It's not that," Emily said, feeling her lip quivering. And then it all came crashing down. She finally caved in, telling Hanna everything from the moment she found the mysterious looking memory stick on her front door after her birthday and concluding the story the morning two days ago when she woke up in a bed she didn't recognize next to Paige.

"So, did something happen?" Hanna asked wide eyed.

"Hanna, where are your priorities? I just told you that I'm getting stalked again and your first reaction is to ask me if I had sex?"

"I'm sorry. It's just, you never really talk about it so I had to ask…"

"And the answer is no, I woke up with my clothes still on…"

"Well, there's that. But seriously though, what's up with the rest of the stuff?"

"I don't know. I've been racking my brain but I haven't come up with anything so far."

"It can't be him. That all ended with Alison."

"I know. Besides, if AD was back in some manner, we would all be targeted. And this started before Aria even came back from Iceland this Christmas so that can hardly be it. We were always targeted as a group."

"So, who do you think it is? And why?"

"I honestly don't know. But whoever it is I need to make sure that Paige is safe. If we are together and I am being followed I could be putting her in danger. And I'm not sure if I could live with that."

"So, you're just going to cut her off?"

"If that's what I need to do to keep her safe, then that's what I'll do."

"Don't you think you owe her some sort of explanation."

"I just don't want to drag her into this. I've seen what her life is like in California. She has friends, a good job, she is happy. And she'll continue being happy without me. Something like this could ruin her."

"Well, when you put it that way. I still think she'd understand if you just told her."

"I'm not sure that I can risk that. Not until I find more out about what's really going on."

"I can ask Caleb to dig around a little bit. You know, look over the security feed at the Radley. He's already helped my mom with it so he's familiar with the system."

"That would be really helpful, but I don't want to drag him into it."

"I'll just tell him that there was a breach or something. He won't know anything until you want him to."

"Thank you Hanna. I am so fortunate to have you."

"Don't mention it. This is what friends are for, right? We stick together. Now, and always. And now that we got this out of the way, have you decided what you're going to wear to the party tonight?"

"Oh gosh, there has been so much going on that I haven't even thought about it. And I didn't pack anything special."

"Not to worry. I brought a couple of samples from the collection. There was one that I was going to wear myself but I am feeling a little too… bloated at the moment so if you want it, it's yours."

"Was Ted's cooking really that good?"

"Oh don't mention it! Christmas always brings my inner fat kid out to play. Fortunately I brought a couple of pieces too that have more… forgiving waistlines. But you'll rock it. I'm sure of it. Will you wear it? Please. You would be doing me a huge favor. If people see you in it they'll be ripping them off the rack once the sales start."

Emily looked at Hanna, amazed by how her passion for her job could retrieve her from the darkest of places:  
"For you Hanna, anything."

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Spencer hadn't been exaggerating when she had promised the New Year's Party of the Century. When Emily arrived she was welcomed with valets, taking off her coat and escorting her, Hanna and Caleb to a wonderfully lit hall filled with people mingling and generally having a good time. Several people were quick to comment on Hanna's piece which Emily was wearing, remarking that the style was beautiful and that she looked absolutely gorgeous wearing it. Emily thanked them humbly but not being able to fully concentrate on what they were saying because of the text that she had just sent Paige:

 _We need to talk. Can we meet up tonight?_

Paige: _I have a thing tonight. I'll let you know when it's done, okay?_

 _Sure. I really want to talk to you._

The soirée started up with a three course meal, followed by a carefully planned fashion show after which a heavy cheering erupted from the audience when Hanna got her three best friends, which were all wearing some of her designs, up to the stage. Emily glanced over at her blond friend which was glowing, looking down to Caleb who had stood up cheering, prompting the other guests to follow suite. When they got back down again, Spencer hustled away, dragging Aria with her with the promise that there were some guys from her office which were just dying to hear from her adventures in Iceland, but Hanna stayed close to Emily, her eyes scanning the crowd. She finally settled her eyes on someone, lighting up as she did:  
"Paige. You made it!"

"I did," Paige said, emerging from the crowd. "Sorry, I got tied up with the family."

"No problem. How is Parker? Caleb won't shut up about him."

"He's great. Poor little guy though. He was so excited for the New Year's but we got him some of those fizzy bombs to explode before dinner and he completely wore himself out. He was fast asleep by the time that I left."

"Well, there's always next year."

"Yeah. Maybe he'll make it to the countdown then."

"Maybe," Hanna said and turned to Emily with a smirk. "Now I would introduce you two, but I don't think there's any need."

Paige laughed and dipped her head a little before facing Emily:  
"No need. Nice to see you Em."

"It's wonderful to see you too," Emily said.

"May I say that you look exquisite tonight?"

"You may. And so do you."

Emily wasn't exaggerating or trying to be nice by repaying the compliment. The auburn haired woman that stood before her looked absolutely magnificent. She was wearing a tailor made suit and its royal blue colored shone bright in the flashing lights. Her hair was tied up in a bun with a few locks trailing around her neck line where a matching bow tie was carefully tied and a small chain was hanging from her breast pocket. She looked nervous but was standing with a straight back, letting the suit's best qualities shine through. One of her hands was behind her back and when she moved a champagne bottle was revealed.

"Want to split this with me?"

"I don't know if I should," Emily said, the fiasco at the Hungry Owl still fresh in mind.

"Don't worry," Paige assured her. "It's non-alcoholic Cider. I napped it from the kiddie's table before I left my family's party."

"In that case I'll find us some glasses."

"Way ahead of you," Hanna cut in, signaling a waiter which promptly handed her a couple of empty glasses. "Nice shoes Paige. I'd love to know where you got them."

"Hanna…" Emily said cautiously while accepting the glasses from the blonde's hands.

"And I'm totally interrupting you guys," Hanna said, clasping her hands together. "I need to see what Caleb is up to. See you later."

The two women looked amusingly on as the blonde disappeared into the crowd before turning to face each other.

"She doesn't ever change does she?" Paige asked.

"No. Fortunately some things never do," Emily answered. "Will you do the honors?"

"With pleasure," Paige said before popping the cork out of the bottle, pouring both of them a hefty dose.

The two women clinked their glasses before taking a sip, never taking their eyes off one another. It seemed like the room was settling into a different atmosphere: the waiters had removed the tables and the entire floor had been cleared. Music started blaring from the speakers and some of the people paired up, swinging to the beat.

"May I have the first dance?" Paige asked, disposing of her glass.

Emily felt hesitant. She knew that there were things that needed to be talked about. How it turned out that Hanna had gotten Paige to come here tonight was a mystery in itself but there were also other questions that begged for answers. But at this moment, all she could think about was Paige's extended hand and the temptation to slip into her arms.

"Always."

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It was already late when the two women were finally able to let go of each other with one dance having turned into two and two having turned into many. Wordlessly Paige took Emily's hand and led her out of the dance floor.

"Let's go somewhere more quiet."

They got their coats back and walked on out to the garden that was outside the building. It was usually used by the staff members of the enormous enterprise during the day, for walking, jogging, eating their lunches or just leisurely wandering which was what the two women were doing at the moment. They eventually settled under a large tree and Emily felt a shiver creep up her thinly clad legs.

"You're freezing," Paige remarked. "Wait for a moment. I'll be right back."

The other woman jogged away, returning promptly with a checkered fleece blanket.

"It was in my car," she said and blushed.

"Paige McCullers, ever the gentleman," Emily said, accepting the blanket which the other woman wrapped carefully around her shoulders.

"I couldn't let you get cold now could I?" Paige asked.

"Now what kind of date would that make you?" Emily said laughing.

She didn't realize the words had slipped out until it was too late. Paige noticed too and they sat in silence for a few moments, looking at the night's sky. They heard shouts from the building, not realizing right away what was going on but after hearing "TWENTY!" they realized that the countdown had begun.

"Want to be my New Year's kiss?" Paige asked.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked, still fearing that whatever she did was being monitored and could be used to hurt Paige.

"It's just a kiss Em. Not a marriage proposal. Besides, I don't see any better candidates around. Not here or anywhere else for that matter."

The countdown was coming to a close and Emily realized that she had to make up her mind. And for the second time tonight she realized that despite all her promises that she needed to stay away to keep Paige close, she simply couldn't do it. Not with the other woman looking at her with such gentle understanding in her eyes.

"Just a kiss," she agreed before leaning in.

Their lips touched tentatively at first, like dance partners sizing each other up, feeling the cadence of the other person's movements before syncing themselves up with them. But it wasn't long until they started moving in flawless harmony, with Emily deepening the kiss from a gentle peck to a full blown embrace without even giving it another thought. Paige responded with added intensity, seizing the hand that was cupping her chin and giving it a squeeze before guiding it down to her shoulder. Emily glided her hand across the soft fabric, drunk on the other woman and took in hefty tug of air, breathing in everything that was Paige McCullers.

Inside the party kept on going with even more vigour than it previously had. The music was turned up, people starting taking to the dancefloor with bigger, bolder movements, Aria and Spencer joked around with the office mates that the latter had introduced them to and she noticed that for the first time in a long time, the shorter woman smiled with her eyes and laughed until they were glistening with tears. Caleb looked over to Hanna, talking to investors and admirers the same, and felt pride sweltering in his heart that despite their hardships, this was now the woman that he was proud to call his. There was a magnificent firework show and everyone rush to the windows, 'ooo'-ing and 'aah'-ing as the large explosions rippled across the night sky.

But Emily Fields saw none of those things and even the hard soundwaves of the detonations didn't register with her. For the only thing that she could hear, the only sound in the entire world, was the rhythm of Paige's heart beating under the palm of her hand.

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Much later, Paige found herself taking a lonesome hike back up to the building, hands snuck safely in her pockets, head still in the clouds. She ran into Spencer as she was venturing inside, almost running into the brunette as they both approached the vestiaire.

"Hi there," Spencer said. "I thought you and Em left already. I hadn't seen her for ages."

"We're about to actually," Paige said. "We've both gotten quite sleepy and she already said goodbye to everyone. I just forgot my gloves before."

"Oh I see," Spencer said, approaching a valet that looked like he was in charge of the group, exchanging a few words before she glanced back to Paige who thanked the one that had retrieved her gloves.

The two women exchanged awkward glances, not really sure how to proceed, until Spencer broke the ice in a very assertive, Hastings-manner:

"Look Paige. I know that we haven't always been on the best of terms."

"That would be an understatement."

"Yeah. It would. And I take some of the blame for that happening. But whatever that was about, it's behind us. It was high school. Luckily we are different people now. Can we agree to just let bygones be bygones?"

"I think that would be a good idea. What made you come to this conclusion?"

"You obviously mean a lot to Em. And she means a lot to us. All of us. And she deserves to be happy. We only receive ever so many chances to be truly happy. And I'm not ready to do anything to mess that up for her."

"That is something we can both agree on. Speaking of, Em is waiting for me so if you don't mind I really have to go. I'll see you around Hastings. Best of luck with your campaign."

"It's not my campaign actually…" Spencer mumbled.

"Oh, but it will be soon enough," Paige said and smirked. "I do know you, you know?"

"Thanks," Spencer responded and Paige had walked a few steps towards the exit when she heard the other woman again. "Just don't break her heart McCullers. And don't lie to her. She deserves more than that after everything that has happened."

"I know," Paige said as she headed for the parking lot to find Emily. "Don't I know…"

Emily was already in the car, her head drooping against the window, but turning around when she heard the other woman entering the car.

"Hey there," Paige said and combed the other woman's hair out of her face. "Don't move. I'll get you back home."

Paige got her seatbelt on and turned her concentration on the road. It was dark and all though the path seemed clear there was always the risk of black frost. She felt how the other woman was looking at her from the passenger's seat but she kept her eyes on the road and they drove in silence toward Emily's old residence.

"So…" Paige said, putting her car in parking mode. "Here we are."

"Yes," Emily said, looking over to Paige. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped herself at the last moment.

 _"Is this it?"_ Paige thought to herself. _"The carriage turns back into a pumpkin and the drivers become mice. The magic fades away as the sun rises and my dreams turn into dust?"_

She considered just letting her go. Saying goodbye and then driving away and never knowing. That handling her own business was better than meddling with Emily's. But that was the old Paige speaking, the one that hid in shadows and feared her own desires. And she was not that person anymore.

"Em, do you want to talk about it?" she asked after a long silence.

Emily turned towards her with a face full of pain. Finally she opened her mouth and the words that had been at the tip of her tongue came out:

"Paige, I'd love to continue this thing that we have going on but I'm not sure that I can. Because there are some things that have been happening. Bad things. I'm sure that you saw the photos that I accidentally left at your room at the Radley. There has been someone stalking me and that night they must have been watching because they got those… intimate photos of us. And I'm sorry but I just don't think I can drag you into it because I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to you because of me."

"Em, you got it all wrong," Paige said, biting her lip, looking down at her lap.

"What do you mean?"

"Because," Paige said and reached for the other woman's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "Whoever you think is after you is not. They're after me."

 **Author's Notes: So, if this was an actual TV series, this would be when the theme music starts playing and the camera pans away and into the distance, announcing that this was the Winter's Finale. But not to worry, I will not take the same lengthy hiatus that PLL is doing at the moment (April? Come on!) However, I will be taking a long overdue summer vacation for the next too weeks and I will probably not be able to update this story while I am there. I will however continue once I'm back and all your questions will be answered. Feel free to PM me if you are confused about anything so far and reviews are always more than welcome. Thanks for reading and staying with the story.**


	33. Chapter 33: Remains of the Night

**Author's Notes 1: For starters I'd like to issue a sincere apology for the delay of this chapter. I know that I warned you that I would be taking a couple of weeks off for vacation but I ran into some problems once I was back and it turns out that university is actually more time consuming than working 12 hour shifts (I always forget that over the summertime). I will try to get back to publishing once per weeks (Sundays seem to have become the ideal days for that) and I'd like to tell you once again that I appreciate all of you reading and reviewing my work. Every view counts and every review pushes me to publish more stuff, even the once word ones (a simple comment can make my day, believe me). Anyways, enjoy this update.**

Emily stepped inside her mom's kitchen on the first day of the new year, all though morning had long since come and gone. She and Paige had stayed up until the early hours, talking about the cat that was finally out of the bag: the stalker that had been on Paige's heels and now seemed to have caught up with Emily too.

" _It started a few weeks after I graduated from Stanford," Paige admitted with her eyes turned towards the street outside the window. "Me and Cat had just come from our graduation trip. We went on an interrail to South America. You know, paragliding, surfing at the Copacabana, the works…"_

 _Paige stopped herself, realizing that she had gone off track:  
"Sorry. Just way more fun talking about hiking in the Andres than this unpleasant business."_

 _"I know everything about that," Emily said, remembering how she had spent most of her teenage years wishing that she would get to occupy herself with normal adolescent stuff. "But do go on."_

 _"Anyway, then I started getting these weird letters. Photos of me; both taken in public places and outside my apartment at College Avenue. And I lived on the sixth floor so getting those photos was no small feat."_

 _"They would either need a very good camera…" Emily said, trailing off._

 _"Or a very tall ladder," Paige added and the two women looked at one another and chuckled. Despite the serious situation the idea of someone hanging on the top of a forty feet ladder was still humorous._

Emily chuckled at the memory, noticing a small post-it that was hanging on the fridge:  
 **I had to run some errands in town. WIll be back in the evening. Love, mom.  
** Emily crumbled the yellow slip and stuck it in her pocket.

"I guess breakfast is on me then," she said to herself and started the coffee machine.

 _"At first I just ignored it, you know? I thought that if I didn't pay any attention to it, it would just go away. But it didn't. The letters didn't stop. And they started getting more aggressive. So of course I was over the moon when my application to do one year of my doctorate at Pepperdine. I was so self-assured, thinking I could shake them off."_

 _"But then?"_

 _"I was home free for a couple of weeks. So I started breathing a little easier. Cat had gotten transferred to a branch in Malibu which I had thanked my lucky stars for when the letters started arriving that she was already gone so that whoever this person was they wouldn't target her and I was happy that I was finally stalker-free and could start hanging with my best friend again. But it wasn't long until the letters started arriving again."_

Emily tipped the skillet slightly, flipping the eggs over before laying it back down on the stove. She heard some commotion behind her and turned around to find Paige, who in turn took a step back.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she said apologetically.

"No, it's fine. I just didn't realize that you were awake," Emily said and turned the stove off. I "I hope the mattress was comfortable enough for you. I woke up some time ago and figured that I should try to cook some food for us."

"You're a saint, you know that?" Paige said and looked at the contents of the skillet. "I'm starving."

"It's the least I could do," Emily said, feeling a blush creeping into her chins as Paige's compliment registered with her. "You still take your eggs over easy, right?"

"Always, Paige said and accepted the plate that the other woman passed over to her.

The two of them sat down at the kitchen island, and dug into their breakfast in silence. Many words had been passed the night before, along with tension and worried glances, so for the moment they were content with simply enjoying each other's company. When Emily stood up to fetch the coffee pot she heard a dulled buzz and as she turned back to the auburn woman she saw that she had gotten her phone out.

"Mum and Dad want me to have dinner with them tonight. They say that Parker won't stop asking for me."

"It sounds like he's very fond of you."

"More like he's fond of the effect that he has on me," Paige said and rolled her eyes. "I'm such a huge softie around him. I do absolutely everything he asks me to. And he knows that if I have dinner with him he'll get me to play a gazillion more rounds of the new game that our parents got him for Christmas."

Emily laughed along with Paige as they sipped their coffees but she couldn't help but to notice that despite feigning annoyance, there was an air of excitement in her voice which seemed to elevate when she said the words _our parents._ It made Emily wonder briefly what it would have been like suddenly not being an only child, especially this late into her life.

"So, thanks for the breakfast," Paige said, putting her coffee cup down. "It has been great talking to you about this, you know, getting it off my chest, even though it was sort of unexpected, but I should probably head back to my room to have a quick shower and a change of clothes."

"You could shower here," Emily said, suddenly not wanting to see the other woman leaving. "I can lend you some clothes in case you don't want to show up at your parent's house wearing your suit or the PJ's that I lent you."

"With all do respect Em," Paige said and flashed a mischievous smile. "I think my parents will find it suspicious if I show up dressing like a bombshell, which will force me to play twenty question as to where i spent the night."

"I don't dress like a bombshell..." Emily said, feeling the blush coming on once again.

"Nothing wrong with it," Paige said, putting her hands up in the air. "I just long to slip into something a bit more me than to try to play second fiddle to the one and only Emily Fields. I might find myself short of some of your charm."

Emily let out bout of laughter, feeling flushed. There they were, back to their bantering, like the last five years never happened, with Paige throwing her off her game with her sharp tongue and unfiltered comments. She didn't want it to end, despite all the daunting things happening around them, she still felt lucky to be able to enjoy these stolen moments and didn't want them to end.

"At least let me accompany you back to the Radley," she said after the kitchen had gone silent again. "I can check to see if Hanna is around and it will do me good to get out of the house."

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The two women stood in awkward silence in the elevator, waiting for it to reach Paige's floor. On their way through the lobby Emily had ran into Ashley Marin who had been checking up with the administration desk. Paige had hidden behind the brochure rack by the front door while Hanna's mother gave Emily a hearty welcome hug, quizzing her on how life was back in Malibu. The subject of dating had been approached, with Emily avoiding giving any direct answers on as to if she was seeing anyone. Now when she was in the confined space with the auburn woman she couldn't help but wonder what she should have responded. Was she seeing anyone? Were she and Paige officially seeing one another or was what had happened just a fluke, a spur of the moment kind of thing? The elevator beeped, the doors opened and the two women whisked into the hallway. But once they were there they could tell that something wasn't right.

"Stay back," Paige ordered but Emily ignored her words and trailed on right behind her into the room that she had left so swiftly mere days before.

The entire area had been ransacked, but the door didn't seem to have been forced opens. There were papers everywhere and the closets had been ripped open and clothes strewn across the floor.

"My gosh," Emily said. "They've been here haven't they?"

"Probably," Paige said and got her phone out.

Emily craned her neck, trying to see what she was typing but was interrupted by her own phone ringing. She picked up, seeing that the call was coming from her mom, answering with short sentences of "yes," "no" and "okay, I'll see you there."

"Please don't tell me they've been at your mom's house too?" Paige said, her face lined with worries.

"No," Emily said, feeling some sense of security at her response. "My mom just wanted me to be home for dinner. She said that she had run into the girls while in town and had invited them to come eat with us at our house."

"You should go," Paige said. "I'll be fine. I've contacted someone who'll know what to do."

"And who might that be?" Emily asked, an uneasy feeling gnawing into her stomach.

"Just go and be with your mom and your friends," Paige said and approached her, the warmth of her breath against her face. She combed a lock of hair from Emily's furrowed brow; a small gesture of affection and reassurance. "I need to go to my folk's or they'll know that something is up. If you still insist on helping me I'll come and pick you up after dinner, okay?"

"Okay," Emily said, suddenly very aware of the gentleness of Paige's touch. "And in case you're wondering, my answer to that is absolutely. Don't go anywhere without me."

"Deal."

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Emily walked to the end of the street, anxiously checking on her phone again. The dinner had run smoothly and turned out to be quite enjoyable. The girls had enjoyed seeing her mom and promised that they would do these reunions more often, with Spencer being back in Rosewood and Aria back in the continent. Hanna had also promised Pam that she was never more than a phone call away and that she would love to invite her to California to enjoy the sun and the spaciousness of her and Caleb's guest room. Once dinner was over and her mom had busied herself with cleaning up, refusing help from the girls who she ushered into the living room to enjoy some after-dinner drinks, they had propositioned going to the cinema to catch a black and white movie that Aria and Spencer were dying to see. Emily had rebuffed their offers, stating that she had some projects that she had to take care off.

"Just take care of yourself Em," Hanna had whispered to her as they were saying they were hugging goodbye. "We all know too well what harm keeping a secret can do."

"I'll be fine Han." Emily had assured her. "'ll call you later, okay?"

But despite her promises, once her mom questioned her about the girls leaving without her, Emily had stated that she was joining them at the cinema as soon as she was done picking up some stuff from her room, to avoid questions as to where she was going to when she went out a few minutes later. Here she was again, telling lies, thinking that it would protect the people that she cared about in general and the one that was being targeted in particular. She turned around to find Paige's car humming behind her, pocketing her phone again and getting in without a word. They drove in silence to the Rear Window Brew but couldn't help passing a glance at each other before heading inside. No words were exchanged but Emily could read all that she needed to know from Paige's expression:

 _I know what I'm doing. Trust me._

And she did, she really did. That much she realized once they made their way into the quiet looking café. Because, despite the time that had passed and the fact that she still didn't know everything that had passed in the other woman's life, she trusted her.

" _There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect you,"_ echoed in her head and she thought that even though she had doubted it once, now wasn't the time to do so again. Paige had proven that she was doing anything in her power to keep her out of this mess and if it wasn't for her own insistence, she would have.

The two women stopped at a table in the far corner and Paige deposited the bag that she had been carrying onto the coffee table, giving the person already seated a nod.

"I see you're here early," Paige remarked as Emily gasped in surprise once she saw the face of the person that they were joining.

"I'm always early. I find it to be favorable to be always one step ahead," Mona Vanderwaal said, acknowledging Paige's arrival before quirking a well plucked eyebrow towards Emily. "Well well well. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

 **Author's Notes 2: I'm sorry if anyone felt cheated out by not getting to read the entire conversation that Paige and Emily had after the New Year's Eve party I assure you that the reason I opted for writing it in flashbacks was because I didn't feel like spending an entire chapter on a small amount of information and rather felt like diving right into action. If you have any questions don't hesitate to PM me and I will try to answer to the best of my abilities without spoiling the chapters that are to come.**


	34. Chapter 34: Asking the Pro

**So this chapter is a little short but I'm hoping that it will still give you some new scoops and by keeping it short it meant that I was able to keep my chapter a week regiment (yay for me!). Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and please remember to review.**

"Mona, what are you doing here?"

The words were out of Emily's mouth before she even realized that they were forming in her head.

"Well, it's lovely to see you too Emily," Mona said and narrowed her eyes, the irony in her voice not lost on either of the women.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for," Emily muttered embarrassed. "I just wasn't expecting to see you."

"In Rosewood? During Christmas? Gosh, one might think that I actually have family here to visit?"

"Very funny Mona," Emily shot back.

Mona turned towards Paige who had been silent during this entire exchange:  
"Is your girlfriend always such a sourpuss?"

"She's not my… we're not," Paige mumbled awkwardly, dipping her head to hide the fact that her face was obviously heating up. "I called Mona to ask for help with this whole unpleasant business."

"I happen to have quite the experience in that department," Mona said with a smirk.

"Don't remind me," Emily said.

"Seriously, did you bring your girlfriend with you to sassmouth me?"

"Not my… we're not… Moving on!" Paige demanded, a whole more authoritarian and a little less embarrassed. "Let's get to what we came here for. Did you get a hold of the recordings from the hotel?"

"I did. I even had some extra time on my hands so I looked them over," Mona answered and produced several photos from her bag.

"Are these…" Emily started.

"The security footage from the Radley."

"How did you…?"

"It wasn't easy. Caleb has set up a pretty tight system over there. It's almost unhackable. The keyword in that sentence being _almost_ ," Mona said, sounding amused. Even after all these years the woman obviously loved taking proper credit for her brilliance. "But, to my disappointment I found out that whoever this is has extensive knowledge in the art of stealth. Take a look."

Paige picked the photos up, leaning closer to Emily in order for her to see. Their shoulders bumped and the raven haired woman suddenly became very aware of how close the other woman's face was to her. Her brow was furrowed in concentration and she wet her lips before flipping to the second photo, reminding Emily what she was suppose to be looking at.

"Dang it!" Paige said, bringing the third photo up to her face, settling her eyes on the hooded figure that seemed to be very skillfully avoiding getting their face caught on camera. "Who are you?"

"Well, we are at least in some luck," Mona said. "From the photos I could deducted that we are dealing with someone that is medium sized and rather skinny. Judging by where their head reaches in the elevator and the fact that they are slightly hunched over I would estimate that they are around 5 feet 5 and not more than 130 pounds."

"You can really get all that from a photograph?" Emily asked as she turned towards Mona.

"Always the tone of surprise. Did you bring the key?"

Paige and Mona both turned towards her who finally put the pieces together:  
"Oh, the key, right. That's why you wanted me to bring it," Emily nodded towards Paige while she fished around in her pocket. "I've actually kept it on me for most of the time since I got it. With this person having no problem with breaking and entering I figured it was safest to keep it close by."

"I'll take that," Mona said, plugging the key into her computer and clicking around for a while before handing it swiftly back. "I'll get back to you when I'm done diagnosing it."

"Great, thanks Mona. You've been a lot help," Paige said.

"It's a fun side project during the holiday season," Mona said, collecting her things."Now if you ladies will excuse me there is somewhere else I have to be. You two enjoy the rest of your evening. As much as I'd love to catch up Emily, I don't think I can stand playing third wheel to you two any longer. Paige, you can call me if anything new pops up and Emily, would you like my card?"

"I think the councilwoman wouldn't appreciate me phoning you to discuss stalker issues during office hours," Emily remarked coldly.

"Oh sweetie, I quit that business quite some time ago," Mona said, reaching inside her purse before handing a bone white card to Emily:  
 **Mona Vanderwaal. Certified Private Investigator.**

"Why stalk people in your free time when you can make it into a profession? Besides, it pays a lot better than my other gig did. À la prochaine mes tourtelles."


	35. Chapter 35: Drive

"What did she call you two?" Hanna asked, munching on a handful of cheetos.

"I don't know. Something French sounding, I think it started with a t, like to… tour something," Emily said, pacing around the room.

"Tortoise?" Hanna suggested.

"That's a turtle Hanna. Why would Mona be calling us turles?"

"Maybe they mate for life or something?"

"That's penguins you're thinking about."

"Well, there was this thing about turtles that I saw on TV lately, what was it?" Hanna said, grabbing Emily's computer and having a seat in the window.

"Careful, you're going to get that nasty orange stuff all over my keyboard," Emily said taking a seat next to her.

"I'll clean it up. Promise. Here we are: Lonesome turtle George dies at the age of 100 years old. Still a virgin."

Emily looked at the blonde, tilting her head:  
"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Uhm, maybe she meant that if you guys aren't together you will both end up alone… and die virgins?" Hanna said, battling to keep on a straight face as her statement got more and more absurd.

"You're such an idiot," Emily said and playfully punched her friend's shoulder. "And now thanks to you I have a very weird search history."

"You're welcome," Hanna said, and the two girls sat in silence for a while before she spoke up again. "Remember all the crazy stuff we used to talk about sitting here?"

"All the weird theories we postulated about A. All the plans that we hatched…"

"We made a good team didn't we?"

"Yes we did. I just can't believe that something of this sort is happening again. And to Paige of all people…"

"Listen, I got your back, every step of the way. And we can always call in for Aria and Spencer for some ass kicking if things get tough. We have battled greater foes and survived."

"Not all of us."

"Yes. But they are gone away now and are never coming back."

"I just wish there was a way to make all this go away," Emily said, stroking over a dent in the seat where Paige she and Paige had occupied the night before.

 _"I wish you could stay."_

 _"I wish so too. But I promised my parents that I would spend the last couple of nights with them before heading back to California. But we'll see each other before then."_

 _"Promise?"_

 _"Always."_

"Emily, are you even there?" Hanna's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm sorry. Did you say something?" Emily asked apologetically.

"I was saying that I'm really sorry that me and Caleb aren't going back to Cali on the same date as you are. If I had known about that whole stalker business when I booked your ticket I would have put it on the same date as the one I had."

"Back then even I didn't know about that whole stalker business," Emily said, thinking back to finding that memory stick, scrambling for any detail she might have missed at the time but coming up blank. "And besides, I have to get back early, I have my first practice Monday morning. You and Caleb still have a week of vacation. You should enjoy it."

"I can drive you to the airport," Hanna suggested. "It's the least I could do."

"Thanks, but Paige is taking me. She's driving to Cali tomorrow so she'll drop me off on her way."

"I see. So are you guys seeing each other or what?"

"Hanna! This is not really the time or the place."

"Well, if right now is not the place to stick together, then when is?"

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Paige showed up early to Emily's house, having checked the airport's site repeatedly to make sure that the flight was on time. Despite knowing that the stalker was really after her she uneasy with the idea of leaving the other woman in a busy airport for a longer period of time than she needed to.

"Anyone could be watching you there," she said to herself.

Since the moment that Emily had come back into her life she had started to feel extremely protective of her, debating herself on whether it was safer to just keep her distance from her as to not make her the target of the stalker or to stay in contact with her for now she knew that if she failed to clarify things first the mysterious person was more than happy to plant ideas into the other woman's head.

"Smoke and mirrors," she thought to herself, not noticing a figure approaching her window.

"Jesus H. Christ!" she exclaimed as she heard rapping on the glass.

"Sorry," Emily said apologetically once the other woman had realized who she was and lowered the window. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"Not your fault," Paige said, unlocking the passenger door. "I jump at everything these days."

"Understandably," Emily said, getting into the car and deposing of her backpack into the backseat. She got something out of her pocket."Here you go."

"What's this suppose to be for?" Paige asked, looking at the cash that the other woman had just handed to her. "I've told you Em, I don't expect you to pay me for the therapy sessions. I'm doing it for you as a favor for a friend."

"It's not for that," Emily said. "It's gas money."

"Gas money? But I thought the girls gave you a plane ticket. Skipping the return ticket sounds kind of cheap skate-ish…" Paige said confused.

"They bought me a return ticket too. Don't be silly," Emily answered, letting out a chuckle that left the other woman with a warm feeling. "Just hear me out: You're driving to California anyway. I have practice but not until after the weekend and I finished the book that you gave me so I would basically spend the weekend twiddling my thumbs back in Malibu."

"And you have a stalker so I don't like the idea of you driving alone across country," she added mentally, but opted for holding her tongue and throwing the other woman her most convincing smile.

Paige tried fighting back, reminding herself that she wanted to keep her away from this nasty business.

"But then again," she thought to herself. "Two thousand and five hundred miles is an awfully long distance to drive all by my lonesome." And she suspected that whoever was following them would not be able to track them all that way without getting caught. They would probably opt for taking a different route back to Malibu and continue the surveillance from their.

"Now I'm planning out my stalker's schedule," she thought to herself, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. However, she couldn't deny that the idea of three days without looking over her shoulder with Emily beside her sounded awfully appealing…

"Deal," she said, breaking the tension filled silence and making Emily light up like a Christmas tree. "But with one condition: you keep your money because a. I would burn just as much gas without you in the car and b. You'll need that to pay for a hotel room. It is three days of driving after all."


	36. Chapter 36: In your Head

The first part of the day passed in silence. Emily was exhausted after having spent the night before debating herself on whether she should dare to propose the idea of driving back to California together. She found herself drifting off to sleep, watching the shifting landscape slide by. There were many emotions that buzzed inside her and she quietly tried sorting between them while feeling them melt into her sleepy state. She was blissful to have some time alone with Paige, even though most of it would be spent stuck inside a small, metal vehicle. Yet she found that there was still primal fear, gnawing at the pit of her stomach, wondering what the stalkers next move was going to be. There was also another feeling fluttering around that she couldn't quite place: was it sadness? Excitement? Her head got foggier and she found herself seeing instances that were not presently happening.

 _"Are you sure you took the right lane?" Emily asked, pressing the little machine next to the dashboard._

 _"Yes Em, I'm sure," Paige said, rolling her eyes._

 _"Well, the GPS could be wrong couldn't it?"_

 _"No way. It's top of the line. It's just a little longer. We're just going a little slow so it seems longer than it should be."_

 _"Okay. I trust you."_

 _"Thanks. It's just a weekend trip Em, not brain surgery. We're going to be fine."_

 _"I know. I'm sorry that I'm being so antsy."_

 _"It's fine, really."_

 _"No. It's not. You're trying to do something special for me and all I can do is complain."_

 _"It's understandable Em. That whole A business is very unnerving. I get it. I really do."_

 _"That thing is horrible yes. But I shouldn't be taking it out on you. I just want to have a good time this weekend."_

 _She felt the warmth of the other woman's hand reaching for hers and squeezing it reassuringly:_

 _"I think we already are," Paige said and smiled. "Look Em, we're a couple. I'll survive a little quizzing. And besides, that whole A business, it will pass. And we will have plenty of time after that to travel together."_

Emily smiled at the memory of Paige's comment. She had been so confident in what they had, so convinced that they had their whole lives ahead of them, together. She was feeling nostalgic, but it was a bittersweet one. The memory brought her such joy but not without a bit of sadness at the thought that she had lost what she had treasured so dearly.

"Em, Emily?" she heard Paige saying.

"Hm?" Emily mumbled, her head twitching upwards. "How long was I out?"

"Pretty darn long. It's almost noon now."

"Wow. I must have really needed the rest."

"I guess you did. I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to grab some lunch?"

"I could eat."

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After the two women ate lunch at a truck stop, Paige accepted Emily's suggestion that she would take the wheel for a couple of hours.

"Do you mind?" Paige asked.

Emily turned around to find that the other woman was waving the book that she had given her.

"Of course. You gave it to me after all."

"True. Did you like it?"  
"I loved it. It had all of my favorite things."

"Action, adventure and bold women who fear neither pain nor death?"

"That and also the fact that it had enduring love you know? It's funny, we were speaking about it that day when you gave it to me."

"Love that never goes away?"

"Yes. The invisible thread that never breaks no matter how much time passes."

"I loved that part too."

They were interrupted by Paige's phone ringing.

"I'm sorry," Paige said and smiled apologetically. "It's Mona."

The auburn haired woman pressed a couple of buttons and put the phone between them:  
"Hey there Miss Bond. You're on speakerphone."

"That name hasn't gotten any funnier Paige. And who are you putting me on speakerphone for might I ask?"

"Emily."

"I thought you were going home today."

"Well, as it turns out me and Em were leaving on the same day so she decided to tag along."

"A drive across the country. How romantic…"

"Are you getting something out of this?" Emily interjected, Mona's comment hitting her where it hurt. "Just drop it Mona."

"Your demand would be so much more effective if I hadn't been commissioned to spend the last couple of days going over the details of photographs of you two sucking face."

She could almost hear the woman on the other end smirking, content with the rise she was able to get out of her. So she bit back on her frustration and turned towards Paige who was trying to form a coherent sentence:

"What did you find out Mona?"

"Well, I have some good news and some bad news. Which ones do you want first?"

"Just get the bad news over with first."

"Well, I have skimmed every single shot that was taken that night and I talked to some of the staff at the Hungry Owl. It turned out that there was someone new working but they never showed up for a second shift."

"Did you find anything out about them? A name maybe?"

"They gave a name which I traced and turned out to be complete bogus."

"Damn it!"

"Anything else would have been an amateur move. The staff also wasn't a lot of help. Couldn't give me any description beside 'average'.Turns out that nobody really pays attention to the bus boys. Even the cameras in the parking lot didn't give me anything other than a figure with a black cap."

"I don't even want to know how you got those tapes…"

"Good. Because I would never tell you."

"Speaking of good, are we going to get to those news any time soon?"

"We are. I looked over the memory stick and its content and I can tell you that it's sloppy work. So whoever you're dealing with does not have good technical knowledge."

"And that is suppose to help us how?" Emily interjected.

"When it comes to tracking people down, to know _who_ you're dealing with you need to know _what_ you're dealing with."

"And _what_ are we dealing with?"

"A lone wolf. Someone with amazing stealth skills, capacities to break and enter but limited academic knowledge. My profile is that this is someone who has minimum official education but has acquired a certain set of skill, possibly from incarceration. You remember those picture that they sent you?"

"Yes. What about them?"

"There was no official goal when it came to those photos. There is nothing on them that incriminated you or puts you at risk. So the point was not to show that they have something on you."

"Then what was the point?"

"To show you that whoever they are they _have_ you. The message is that you can't escape them. They're not just trying to break into your house, they're breaking into your head."


	37. Chapter 37: Breathe

**Author's Notes: Sunday and no update. Tsk tsk tsk. I'm sorry. I wish I had some legitimate excuse but really it was just a bad case of "I feel like I should be doing Uni work so I can't 'allow' me to write, yet I do nothing but procrastinate anyway..." I'm sure some of you can relate. Anyway, here is a very late update and I'm planning to update again on Sunday per usual so stay tuned and thanks to all my reviewers, both the new and the reoccurring (you know who you are).**

 **TW: I feel I should put this up here. This chapter will discuss the subject of anxiety/panic attacks.**

The remains of the day passed away quietly on the long, winding highway. Emily kept her eyes on the road, going over Mona's last words in her head.

 _"They're not just trying to break into your house, they're breaking into your head."_

"If that's what they're doing, have they been successful?" she thought, glancing at the auburn haired woman in the passenger's seat who also seemed deep in thought. Back in Rosewood she had known this sort of danger, heck she had lived with it for years before she got away from it. And then five years later she had been thrown straight back into the whirlpool. But now that was over, even though that closure had come at a great cost. She had always tried keeping Paige away from it, and it was a bittersweet day when she said goodbye to her, because even though she was devastated by her departure she had also come to terms with the fact that her longing for the other woman to stay had been fueled by selfishness. Because later when she found herself wondering about what had become of her she couldn't help but think that she was probably better off somewhere very far away from all the havoc that was happening in her own life.

"I wanted it to be me," she thought as she saw the profile of the other woman lit up from the sun that was going down. "But the more time that passed I realized that maybe I didn't have my own life in check. All I had ever known was running away from trouble. And when that trouble was over I just kept running out of habit. And that part had slowly started to shift and change. Because the more I realized that I wasn't in a good place in my life the more I realized that I wanted you to be in a better place than I was. So after a while, instead of hoping that we could be together, I just invested every good intention that I had in me to hope that wherever you were and whatever you were doing that you were fulfilled and untroubled. Even if you were with someone else, as long as they made you as happy as you had once made me."

But now it seemed that despite having stayed out of Paige's way with the best intentions, Emily could not keep her safe because there was someone that had a bullseye on the other woman's back and this time it wasn't just because of the association with her. And she was frightened that this time it wasn't down to her own resourcefulness to keep them out. Because whoever this was had their aim of getting into Paige's head and not hers.

"So, if I'm already feeling unnerved by this Paige must have that feeling thousandfold," she though, "Are they already in? Is there any way that I can make her feel like she is safe at this point?"

"Em?" Paige's voice suddenly sounded next to her.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Emily asked, turning towards the other woman.

"I was just saying that maybe we should find a motel or something, it's getting pretty late," Paige said, pointing towards the dashboard clock.

"I didn't realize it was so late," Emily said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I could have sworn I watched the sun go down only moments ago."

"You were pretty deep in thought," Paige said. "I didn't really want to disturb you but you must be exhausted now. We should have switched hours ago."

"It's no problem really," Emily said, still feeling the weight of her worries for the other woman, thinking to herself: "This at least I can do for you."

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Emily slept a fitful sleep that night in their roadside motel. They hadn't found a place to stay until about an hour after Paige had enquired Emily about finding a place and by that time they were both too exhausted to anything except collapse into bed. They had eaten a couple of things in shiny wrappers from the vending machine in the reception and watched TV but conversation was limited, with Emily not wanting to initiate a conversation that was sure to make the other woman feel even more anxious than she already did but also coming up short when trying searching for something else to talk about. They had finally gone to bed around midnight, leaving both of the bedside lamps on to shine through the night.

The raven haired woman was jerked awake in the middle of the night, hearing a loud bang that she couldn't account for. She noticed that the neon sign that shone outside had changed from VACANCY to NO VACANCY and that there was a hefty wind blowing. She got out of bed, slithering towards the window to check for movement outside but failed to notice any. Once a particularly heavy gust of wind blew into the corridor she heard the noise that it made against the cheap doors and realized that the ruckus had been nothing more than the sounding storm. She turned around to get back into bed, but stopped dead in her tracks once she noticed that the other woman was lying curled up in the other bed, her breaths coming in short and ragged, and her face paper white.

"Paige, what's wrong?" Emily whispered, terrified at the sight. She reached to clasp the other woman's hand to find that it was ice cold and sweaty. It was then that it dawned on her: she was having a panic attack. She wanted to freeze in place, finding the sight uncomfortably familiar, but instead biting back and moving closer.

 _Emily ran into her room, throwing her bag onto her bed, biting back tears. It had come out of nowhere; a cashier's voice coming from the intercom, announcing special offers in isle 4 and then suddenly it had all come rushing back to her: the monotonous voice, saying greeting in various languages, setting the rules, telling her to do terrible things, that she had no other choices, pulling her strings…_

 _She dashed for her closet, ripping up the door and slipping inside. The small space gave her comfort. Here no one was behind her, no one could find her, she was safe._

 _"My name is Emily Fields," she said to herself. "I am twenty-three years old. My parents are Pam and Wayne FIelds. I grew up in Rosewood. Six years ago I was kidnapped and kept imprisoned by Charlotte Dilaurentis. She made me do things that I didn't want to do. But now I'm okay. I am safe. I am just having a panic attack."_

 _She placed her hands on her torso, letting out a sight which relaxed her composure:_

 _"Now just breathe."_

"Paige. Can you hear me Paige?" Emily said, fixing herself behind the other woman. "You are safe. No one can hurt you. But you are having a panic attack. So you're going to need to help me out here. I am going to help you do some breathing exercises so I need to place my arms around you. Squeeze my hand if you're okay with that."

The other woman didn't move from her rigid stance, but Emily could feel a small compression on her fingers which she interpreted as consent so she shifted her body and ever so slowly wrapped her right arm over the other woman's side and the left one under her neck, placing them on her stomach and chest respectively.

"Okay, now I need you to breathe in, but to breathe through your nose and into your stomach. Think you can do that for me?"

At first the other woman was motionless and Emily wondered whether what she said had even registered with her. She contemplated on repeating herself but then felt a small movement as Paige's stomach started swelling slightly. She was obviously struggling to comply, but from somewhere inside she had found the strength to fight back.

"Ever the champion," Emily thought, smiling in relief before speaking up. "Good. Now I need you to let it out again through your mouth."

A few seconds passed before she heard a long puff coming from the other woman, which eased her body up some more.

"This is great Paige, you're doing really good. Now you just need to repeat this, think you can manage that?" Emily asked, feeling strangely proud of the way the other woman was responding to her coaching.

This time Emily felt a small jiggle as the other woman nodded before her stomach belched up again with a concentrated inhale. She exhaled again and repeated the motion several times, guided by the push and pull of Emily's palms, who found herself breathing with the other woman. The rhythm of their breaths slowly moved their bodies and her hold on Paige, along with the brunettes position, eased her closer into the embrace. For a while even the storm outside seemed to quiet, and she heard nothing but the rhythm of their breaths and the beating of the other woman's heart, that slowed down from nervous jerking into a slow, steady cadence. Emily craned her neck to see her complexion, rejoicing that it was pinking up and her expression was becoming one of serenity. She seemed so exhausted and small now, slumped into her arms like this. Her arm shot up, grabbing the palm that Emily still had draped over her chest.

"I'm sorry," Emily said, realizing suddenly that she might have made the other woman uncomfortable by intruding on her like this when she was vulnerable. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I can go back to my own bed now if this is uncomfortable."

"No," Paige said, her raspy voice cutting through the night. "Em, can you please, stay with me?"

"Of course," she said, feeling relief at the brunette's words along with a feeling that she couldn't quite describe. She pulled her closer, feeling as the other woman let out a sigh and let her body melt into the embrace, before she whispered, almost inaudibly:  
"I won't let you down. And I won't let you go. Not this time."


	38. Chapter 38: The Riot

**AN: Again a little late. Very sorry. I might have had a small freakout concerning the elections. But I hope that everyone is safe and well. I apologize for the political comment. So let's get to the story.**

When Emily woke up the next day she found her bed to be empty. She spent a couple of moments looking around, wondering if she had dreamt the entire thing that had occurred the night before had been some weird dream. It would have made a convincing theory except for the fact she distinctly remembered waking up several times to find the other woman deep in peaceful slumber, still closed woven into her embrace. She heard some shuffling around behind the bathroom door which swung open, releasing a cloud into the room of steam and revealing a freshened up Paige who was busy drying her hair. She stopped dead in her track when she noticed her sitting in the room, suddenly becoming quite awkward:

"Oh, you're up?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hog the shower. I would have let you have the first go if I knew you were awake."

"Don't worry. I just got up," Emily said, fisting some of the duvet absent mindedly to keep herself from thinking about last night. _"Are we just not going to talk about it?"_ she thought to herself, not daring to look Paige in the eye.

"You can go now," Paige said gesturing towards the bathroom.

"Shouldn't we be on the road already? I don't want to slow us down."

"I'll get our stuff in the car while you shower. Don't you worry," Emily could hear the well intentioned smile that was surely on Paige's face while she said that.

"I better get going then," Emily said, making a small showing of standing up before waltzing to her own bed and grabbing the towel next to it. If Paige noticed the gesture she made no mention of it and Emily shut the door the bathroom before mumbling to herself: "I guess we should consider it forgotten then."

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The two women settled for a small roadside motel after having driven through the entire day, this time settling for some quality station flipping, with the radio turning more and more conservative as the megachurches started taking over the landscape. Emily got the trunk of the car open while Paige lingered inside the car, staring absentmindedly at the steering wheel. As she was trying to swing her suitcase out she felt a quick jolt of pain shooting up her upper arm and she accidentally dropped it to the ground trying to hold back a small yelp that escaped her mouth.

"Are you okay?"

Paige startled her, having exited the car quietly and appeared behind her.

"It's fine. It's probably just from sitting down so much," she answered trying to brush it off while feeling pain mounting up her shoulder.

"You shouldn't be over exerting yourself," Paige said, approaching her slowly. "May I?"

"Sure. But don't worry about it," Emily mumbled, feeling some sort of resentment bubbling up in her chest. How was it that Paige was able to be always so conscious of her needs but completely shutting down the fact that she was very obviously feeling very vulnerable.

"I do worry," Paige said sincerely, grasping Emily's arm with both of hers and softly probing the upper part of it. "I'm your physical therapist remember? Does this hurt?"

"A little," Emily answered and bit her teeth together as Paige massaged the sensitive area. "But you're making it a lot better."

"It's a hail Mary really. You really got to get busy with these exercises when we get back to Malibu Em. I'll tell you what," Paige said, patting reassuringly on her arm. "I'll take care of the luggage. Just go get us a room. Seaside view, okay?"

Emily nodded, returning the smile that the other woman had given her before walking towards the main building. She heard a small ding of a bell when she entered the pastel colored corridor and saw a chunky looking man with a doughnut beard scuffling for the reception desk.

"Evening," he said, sounding rather exasperated.

"Good evening," Emily said, giving her most accommodating smile. "You have vacancy right?"

"That's right. Just passing through?"

"Something like that. I need a room for two please."

"Travelling with a boyfriend?" the receptionist asked, reaching behind him to grab a set of keys.

Emily furrowed her brow at the weird comment, deciding that social tact might not be this guy's strongest suit. Suddenly an idea planted itself into her head and she got her smile plastered back onto her face.

"No. Just here with a friend. We're carpooling back to Malibu together," she said, eyeing the name tag on that was slightly tilted over his chest pocket. "But tell me… Chuck, do you by any chance have a pool here?"

"We do," Chuck responded, seeming slightly flustered by her assertiveness. "But the pool area is closed down now. Late hours. Sorry."

"Yeah, I know. I totally get that. But listen, here's the thing," Emily said, reassuring herself that what she was doing was for the greater good before she leaned in on the counter, looking straight at the nervous looking man. "But here's the thing Chuck. I'm a competitive swimmer and I have been seriously lacking some proper exercise this Christmas. So if you could let me swim a few laps there tonight I would be _so_ appreciative and I wouldn't tell anyone. Promise."

Paige turned around when she noticed Emily running back to the parking lot, waving a set of keys and looking like she had just won a race.

"Did they conjure up a seaside view just for you?"

"No. It's better than that. Come on, I'll show you."

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The pool casted soft lights on the surrounding walls in the darkness of the night, submitting relaxing sounds of waves as the two women splashed around. Paige giggled as they mirrored each other's movements, taking long, relaxed strokes until they reached the other side.

"I can't believe you managed to make them stay open until so late," Paige remarked as she grabbed the bank, letting herself dangle comfortably in the water.

"Don't act so surprised," Emily said, swimming up close to the other woman. "I can be very persuasive."

"Oh, I know a thing or two about that," Paige said, pulling herself up to the bank before extending an arm to the other woman which she gladly accepted. Once the were both sitting snugly next to each other she spoke again. "Is your arm getting better?"

"Yes," Emily said, before noting that she did not pull this elaborate plan in order to discuss her physical state. She grabbed the towels that were bunched up next to them and passed one to Paige which accepted it gratefully. "Paige, can we please talk about what happened last night?"

The other woman made a concentrated act of drying herself before draping herself with the towel and pulling her shoulders together, mumbling almost incoherently:

"I'm not sure if I can…"

"Well, try. Please. Paige, you can trust me with whatever it is."

The other woman stared awkwardly into the pool.

"If you feel embarrassed I get that," Emily said. "I haven't told anyone about this but after what happened at the Dollhouse I would get these panic attacks. And I didn't face it for years. I was too proud and too stubborn and too damn busy pretending that I had moved on with my life. And I started feeling vulnerable after I arrived in Pepperdine so unbeknownst to everyone I started engaging in behavior that I'm not exactly proud of."

"What kind of behavior?"

"I would drink heavily, at first I would only do it over the weekend, pretending that I was just getting the freshman experience but after some time I was pouring myself a drink almost every night just to make sure that I could get to sleep. And when drinking didn't sort out things on the weekend anymore I would resort to other methods. I would take girls home, only because I was afraid to be alone, but I usually got rid of them the day after because I didn't trust myself with another person either…"

"Em, you don't have to tell me all of this…"

"But I want to. I'll stop if you think it's uncomfortable. But I just want you to know that I don't find your behavior embarrassing. It's very human. And if I had accepted that earlier maybe I wouldn't have been so hard on myself."

"You were always so hard on yourself. In some ways it's what I used to love about you but it could also be very problematic. And I'm projecting onto you again," Paige trailed off, staring absentmindedly into the pool again before jutting her jaw out with a concentrated glance. "When I feel this… gosh, it sounds so dumb. It doesn't happen that often. But when it does, I feel like I'm standing in front of a riot, looking at them with their torches and pitchforks. But they can't see me. So I just stand there, frozen, not being able to move back nor being able to move forward, praying that they won't notice me because if I do they are going to come get me. So I just have to wait until they move onto somewhere else. But I get so scared Em. So incredibly scared. It sounds dumb. I know it does."

"It doesn't," Emily said, taking Paige's hand into her own. "Thank you for telling me."

"Should we get back to our room?" Paige suggested. "It's getting sort of chilly"

"Is the riot gone?"

"Yeah," Paige responded and Emily felt her hand squeezing hers back. "The riot's gone away."


	39. Chapter 39: Pieces

There was a different atmosphere morning after. Emily felt it, like it was almost tangible as she watched the other woman busy herself with getting their suitcases back into the car.

"You sure that I can't help you with that?" she asked worried.

"No. Absolutely not. You really brought it yesterday in the swimming pool," Paige said, wiping a small pearl of sweat from her brow. "You have gotten all the exercise that you need for today. I am demanding that you take a rest day."

"And I am declaring that you are quite silly," Emily said and gave the other woman a playful push. "I'll check us out then."

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"You're thinking about it again, aren't you?" Emily asked, looking over at the other woman.

"I am," Paige admitted. "Sorry. I was trying not to. I keep on thinking that for a couple of days I'm on the road, I'm free you know. But I just keep on thinking that if I try out every theory in my head, try it on for fit, then I will return to California with a better clue what I'm dealing with."

"You're even ambitious when it comes to tackling stalkers."

"What can I say? I'm a competitive person."

"In many ways. What theories have you currently come up with?"

"Nothing too concrete."

"Have you thought it might be that guy that you manhandled that attacked Cat?"

"I do but…"

"But what?"

"Cat already put a tracker on him some time ago. He moved to Atlanta the same year that we moved to Florida. She tracked regular card activity there so he did more than put up a postbox there. She also put a flag on him so she'll be pinged if he comes back to the state of California."

"Quite a smart girl Cat. Is that even legal?"

"Not even remotely. She works internet security. The best way to convince someone in that business that you're talented is to show them is that you can hack their system. That way…"

"You can write them codes to protect them from people like you," Emily finished for her.

"You sound like Mona," Paige said, peering her eyes at Emily.

"That bit was from Caleb actually."

"Two faces of the same coin."

"Indeed. So I'm assuming you've crossed him off your list?"

"At least moved him a bit further down."

"So. Who's next on the list?"

"Nobody concrete. But I have some ideas floating around."

"Do tell."

"You can stop me if I'm out of line here. But I just can't help to think this somehow all ties back to Rosewood you know?"

"How so?"

"I don't know. It's just a feeling."

"You should trust your feelings Paige. They often turn out to be right."

"The problem is though, I don't have all the facts. So what I'm looking at now is a big puzzle, I know there's a picture in there somewhere but I don't even know where the corners are."

"Well. Maybe I could help clue you in on that."

"You don't need to if you don't want to Em. I could never ask that of you."

"But I can ask that of myself. I have some of the pieces Paige. And I need to show them to you. To see if they fit."

"And if they don't?"

"Then we move on to the next theory. And I could finally get this off my back, tell it to someone that wasn't as involved as I was."

"Well. When you put it that way it sounds a lot more logical than I thought it would be."

"So, where do you want me to start?"

"I never thought I would say this, but why don't you start with her? No matter what happened back in Rosewood it always seemed to lead back to her."

"It did. But will it this time? She's dead," Emily said, her breath hitching, trying to muster the words. Even if she had said it countless of times to different people, saying it somehow made it more painfully real. "Ali is dead Paige."


	40. Chapter 40: The Book of Ezra

**Author's Notes: It's a Christmas Miracle! Kidding. Sorry about the long wait. But here it is. The 40th chapter. The role of this chapter is to mainly illustrate what happened after the 6th season ended and before this fanfic began (the 7th season didn't happen in this universe). If you have any questions don't hesitate to send me a PM or leave a comment and I will get back to you.**

"I felt suspicious of that guy that Ali was with when I came back to Rosewood to see her. The other girls first chalked it up to jealousy but I knew better. There was just something about him that didn't seem right. And it wasn't the fact that I could find something wrong with him. It was rather the opposite; I couldn't. He was too flawless, too perfect, too right for her. It was almost as if he was a personification of everything that she had ever wanted in a man. And that just didn't feel right because from what I had learned from relationships; our relationship, my friend's relationships with their partners, even my parents relationships, is that people have difficulty with one another that they need to work through to overcome. And with Elliot that factor just seemed nonexistent. However Ali convinced me that she was truly happy and I decided to take her word for it. That was until Elliot said that she had willfully committed herself to the psych ward, claiming that she had become paranoid and was seeing things that weren't really there. The evidence seemed to line up to support his theory. Her sister had just passed away in that terrible incident which the police were not even close to solving it and I just assumed that it had become too much for her. But once she had signed up Elliot just disappeared into thin air and once Ali got out of Wellby it turned out that before going off the grid he had withdrawn most of Ali's money.

I was assuming that Ali would become furious, but she took the news very neutrally, telling me that if there was something she had learned from growing up with her family was that no amount of money was worth more than your sanity and that she was happy to have regained the latter. To help with her new financial situation she put her old family house up for rent and convinced me to rent a small two bedroom apartment with her while I caught up with my studies in Hollis. The autumn came and went and I mentioned to Aria, Hanna and Spencer how it was amazing that Ali was recovering so well from having fallen in love with someone that appeared to have conned her. Spencer planted the idea into my head that I should try to transfer my credit back to Pepperdine and that she could fish around for some scholarships for me if the tuition was giving me problems. Aria was moving back to Rosewood, revealing that she had gotten back engaged with Ezra and that they were planning to get married in the summer. Hanna was even back with Caleb after he had rescued her from an abandoned shed from when she tried to con A.D."

"Wait, who is A.D?"

"It's someone that started pestering us after CeCe got killed and was assured that we knew who killed her. Eventually Hanna snapped and told them that she had killed CeCe and they responded by kidnapping her right under our noses. But once Elliot was in the wind we didn't receive any more messages and Caleb managed to track Hanna's phone signal to an abandoned shed we just assumed that he had been the person that was behind the entire thing to divert us from helping Alison. I know it might not sound like the smartest thing in the world but we were so glad that the messages stopped that we all just sort of decided to put it behind us. Especially for Ali's sake. She seemed to have moved on and we decided that if she could do that then so could we.

But the thing is that she wasn't moving on. She had gotten back to her old self, before she had fallen head over heels with Elliot, before she disappeared even, and was scheming to find out who he really was and why he had chosen to take advantage of her. She tracked a woman back to Philly through email correspondence she had to Elliott which turned out to be her mother's twin sister named Mary Drake. When pressured she revealed to Ali that Rollins, who she knew as Archer, had assured her that Ali had murdered CeCe, who was Mary's daughter and that she needed to be punished for that. This and the promise that Archer would give her information pertinent to locate her other child, which had been taken from her when she was falsely committed to Radley, was enough bait for Mary to pretend to be Alison's dead mother, which had prompted Alison to sign into Wellby to begin with."

"Did she know where Elliot, sorry, I mean Archer was located?"

"Well. Yes and no. She had some clues which Ali used to uncover that Elliott Rollins was really a Welsh man named Archer Dunhill, who had assumed the identity of a deceased doctor. She traced him to London where he was now living and went there for a weekend under the pretense of visiting Spencer's sister Melissa and we assumed that meant that they had finally made peace with one another. She broke into his apartment and uncovered information which made her realize that Archer only cared about getting her money. He had created A.D. in the sole purpose of distracting us from what he was doing. Who pointed her to him as a good target and gave him the information that he needed however was someone completely different that had a much more sinister motive."

"So who was it?"

"When we were back in high school we suspected Ezra of stalking us and being A. It turned out that we were right about him stalking us, just not for the reason which we suspected. He was writing a book about the disappearance of Ali."

"I remember you telling me that during Christmas. I thought it was a little off. But he and Aria seemed to have worked it out."

"Yeah. She forgave him and we decided that since she could we could as well. Besides, he almost got killed which might have blurred the lines a bit. We assumed that what he had done was in the grey zone but that it didn't have anything to do with who was actually targeting us."

Emily paused momentarily, swallowing a large lump that was forming in her throat, struggling to get the words out:

"The thing is Paige, he wasn't writing a book about what was happening to us and Ali -he was directing it."

There was a hefty silence that hung in the air for a bit before Paige broke it, stuttering in a completely stunned tone:

"Em, what are you talking about?"

"Apparently, Ezra had much more power in Rosewood than he had led us to believe. You remember I told you about the N.A.T. club, right?"

"Yeah. But you told me that you ran into a dead end on that one."

"We did. But Ali tapped that dead end and found a secret passageway. It was true that Jason Dilaurentis formed the N.A.T. club and recruited Garrett and Ian. However, it wasn't him that got the idea to begin with. It turns out that Ezra and Jason had met once in college at a party and that Ezra planted the idea in his head to form the club. He even helped Jason set up an online account to store the videos in."

"But why did Jason never mention that?"

"He didn't remember. He thought it was so unremarkable that it simply slipped his mind," Emily said, remembering Jason's devastation when they had caught up with him once everything had been revealed, telling them the same thing that he had told Ali:  
 _"He was just this scrawny, insecure geek. A nobody really. When we said goodbye I realized that I hadn't even asked for his name and that I didn't even care that I hadn't."_

"He set the storage up so that he had access to the videos but felt that wasn't enough for him. So he attended a party that Ian Thomas was hosting, who he knew was also uploading stuff to the N.A.T. club. He spiked a girl's drink that was going into Ian's room with some hallucination drugs along with a lorazepam so she ran out of the room in a panic before collapsing on the stairs, making a scene in front of everyone. But Ezra was already upstairs, catching the entire thing on film, which he used as leverage to force Ian to do his bidding. But Ali was also at this party, along with me, Spencer, Aria and Hanna, which was one of the clues that helped her when she was trying to piece things together."

"Was it that party that you sneaked into when you were freshmen?"

"That would be the one."

"But Ian killed himself when he was hiding from the police didn't he?"

"Except that he didn't. The guy was a complete narcissist. He did Ezra's bidding for years just because he didn't want to lose his reputation. He had no intention of killing himself. Ezra met with him when he was hiding in the barn and Ian told him that he was going to turn himself in and confess everything in hopes of getting some sort of leverage by turning on Ezra, which is why Ezra decided to kill him and make it look like a suicide."

"But what does that have to do with the book that Ezra was writing?"

"Don't you get it Paige? He was moving all the pieces, putting them into positions. He wanted to write about real life events but he also wanted to control those events. That's how Ali got a hold of some of the N.A.T. videos. Ezra had chosen her as the heroine of his story. So he gave her a mystery to solve and an enemy to fight."

"But it was Mona who was sending Ali those messages?"

"And who do you think gave Mona the idea of getting even with Ali by targeting her? She had been attending extra curricular seminars in Hollis for outstanding students when he found out that she and Ali went to the same school. He tutored her after school class as a part of his studies and became a confidant to her. It turned out that this was something that he did, targeting vulnerable girls and making them submissive to him. They looked up to him, saw him as some sort of a mentor."

"There were more?"

"CeCe was one of them. He instructed her to take Mona's place once she was put into Radley. It broke Ali's heart when she found out. I think that strengthened her resolve even more to expose him."

"Did you ever find out why he did all of those things to you?"

Emily looked down into her lap, reliving some unpleasant testimonies made by a psychologist during Ezra's trial:

 _"Even as a child Mr. Fitz would show very little concern for the well being of others. There are several reports of him having put his schoolmates through torment, brought on by the hands of his enforcers, and when questioned he would respond that he did it in order to make it into a 'good story' for him to observe."_

She cleared her throat to get the bad taste out of her mouth before continuing:

"Of course, I was completely oblivious to all of this at the time that Ali found out. We all were. Ali dropped Ezra an anonymous message that she had evidence of his involvement in the death of CeCe and that if he wanted to negotiate he should meet her at the Fitzgerald theater in New York. I still remember that week like it was yesterday. It was the week before Labour Day Weekend and I was helping Aria with wedding preparation. I thought it was very weird when Ezra said that he had to have an emergency meeting with his editor in New York but he promised he would be back in the morning and that their wedding would happen over the weekend like they had planned. Spencer and Hanna were also back for the planning but Ali had told us that she had come down with something and had to spend for the next couple of days in bed in order to recover for the wedding. We didn't ask any questions because we were occupied and it made sense that she would try to recuperate. It wasn't until Spencer got a call from Melissa telling her that Ali had never come to see her in London that spring, asking if something had come up, that we got suspicious and decided to go ask her about it. It turned out that she wasn't even in here room but what we did find there was a live feed to the Fitzgerald theater."

"That's quite poetic."

"Well, Ali always did have a flair for the dramatic. When he got there she questioned him as to why he had betrayed CeCe and he told her that after being rehabilitated she had planned to go to the police and tell them what he had made her do."

 _"Unfortunately I didn't have the same access to the institution that CeCe was put in as I used to do in Radley. When I was afraid that Mona would give away that I was the one directing her role in your story I simply asked CeCe to mess with her medication until she was susceptible enough for anything to be planted into her mind. So I made CeCe give her the idea that she was the one directing Mona. And in the end I think I messed with CeCe herself enough to give her the idea that she was doing this all by her lonesome. That is until you started visiting her in Wellby. I tried to get Archer to seduce her to change her mind but it didn't stop her believe that she should do right by you. So I got a hold of his mobile and asked her to meet me at the Bell Tower. I hoped that I could charm her but nothing worked. She had become so incredibly devoted to you, which naturally meant that I had to get rid of her. This is all your fault. None of this would have happened if you would have just minded your own business."_

 _"This is rich Fitz! So you're blaming me for you murdering my sister?"_

 _"I had such high expectations of you Alison, did you know that? You were suppose to bring havoc to Mona like you did with all your enemies, have a real battle you know? You were the one, the one I chose and you just ran away like a scared little mouse. I had to substitute you with Aria Montgomery of all people. And it took me a year just to come up with that change in plans."_

 _"Is that all we are to you? Dolls that you can play with?"_

 _"Not dolls Alison. You are young, adventurous women. And that is what makes this so much fun."_

 _"Even if you get publicly exposed?"_

 _"What are you talking about?"_

 _"For someone that built their life on recording others, didn't you ever expect anyone to be recording you?"_

 _"You bitch!"_

 __"He attacked her," Emily said, trying to hold back tears as she remembered how powerless she felt watching the scene unfold thousands of miles from where she was, unable to do anything. "It was over fairly quickly. He pushed her down from the balcony on the stage that they were standing on. He thought that he would just be able to disappear after that but Ali had already sent the evidence that she had collected to the NYPD who were arriving outside while the events were taking place. After that stuff was pretty much routine. Mrs. Fitzgerald got Ezra the best lawyer money could buy. It turned out that the reason that he was so estranged with her and the rest of his family was that they got tired of covering up his shenanigans in his youth and refused to support him after he went to university unless he got professional help. He had us all convinced that they were the bad guys, which made Aria shut them off completely every time that they tried approaching her. I guess you should always hear both sides of a story before you pass judgement…"

"Em?"

"Yes."

"Did she suffer? Ali I mean."

"No. Not according to the coroner. She broke her neck once she hit the ground so apparently she passed out the moment that she landed."

"I'm so sorry Em."

"I could understand if you weren't."

"That's horrible."

"Well, she was horrible to you too. She was my friend but she still did some unforgivable things. I think that's one of the reasons why she went to New York again."

"What do you mean?"

"When she tried forgiving CeCe for what she did I think she also got a new perspective on other people and how people build grudges. When she came back from the dead she asked for your forgiveness. When she was helping CeCe I think she finally understood why she might never completely deserve it. She didn't expect Fitz to just surrender. Heck, if anything I think she knew that he would rather kill her than be exposed. But she also knew that if she could get that on tape he would go down for that even though she could not prove that he had killed CeCe, Ian or anyone else."

"So she sacrificed herself?"

"You could say that."

"But why?"

"So the rest of us could stop living in the lie he created for us."

 **Author's Note II:** **I'm aware that it might sting that I picked a fan favorite as a villain but my answer to that is that the betrayal wouldn't mean as much if it was some random person. So, what are your feelings towards my explanation? Feel free to comment on that. And yes, there is more to come once Emily and Paige arrive back in California so stay tuned for the next chapter.**


	41. Chapter 41: End of the Road

The two women were met with hefty traffic once they entered the state of California. There were reports of a pile up and the jam didn't seem like it would clear up for a while. After Emily had ended her tale of the harrowing things that was the fate of Alison the two of them had remained silent. She tried taking in the expression of the other woman, wondering how she was digesting the newfound information. However, once they had stared at the long line in front of them for a while Paige broke the silence:

"You said this happened the week before Labor Day Weekend right?"

"Yes. That's right."

"That's only a couple of months before you went back to Pepperdine didn't you?"

"Yes. I was already done with all my courses for the semester and had put in my application. I got the acceptance letter from Pepperdine the same day that Ali's funeral was held, ironic as that might be…"

"How so?"

"Six years before that we all parted after Labor Day Weekend and left Ali in Rosewood. She told us that time around that she felt like Rosewood was somewhere where she needed to be. And this time I got notified that I would get to pick up my life after that same exact weekend except this time I was saying goodbye to Ali for the final time, with her never leaving Rosewood again..."  
"I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you…"

"It was. But this time somehow I felt ready to tackle it. After Ali's funeral I had to move across country again and I got Spencer to help me to do it. She was a total rock, ticking all the boxes to ensure that I got my grant and she even used the rest of her vacation to help get me into a grief group. That's how I met Ollie."

"In the grief group?"

"Yeah. He had also dropped out of Pepperdine a couple of years back because of a personal loss but was trying to get back on track. And according to him that meant finally coming in terms with what he had lost."

"Can I ask what happened to him?"

"He lost his girlfriend during their sophomore year. They were hit by a drunk driver on their way home from a concert and got run off the road. The guy just ran away and left them there. He had to watch her draw her last breaths while they waited for help and then he was stuck in the car for hours with her body, while the fire department was cutting them out. "

"That sounds awful."

"It does. But it made me realize something. When my dad died I refused to talk to anyone. I didn't even want to register that life moved on for other people. I just shut off and drowned in my own misery. And Ollie was doing the opposite. He was trying so desperately just to survive that he didn't allow himself to feel, which made him completely detached and unable to function like a proper human being. We helped each other find a middle ground during that summer. I took steps in grieving Ali and for the first time I actually worked on what I felt towards losing my dad."

"I could feel that."

"What do you mean?"

"That time when we went out to the beach on your birthday. The way that you spoke… it just didn't sound like somebody that was still trying to shut their feelings off. You seemed somehow… at peace."

"I don't know if I would say that I was at peace. But I am definitely better. I've gotten… a better perspective on my life so to speak. Speaking of changes I finally see a movement," Emily said and pointed towards the front of the row which had started moving.

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It was already dark by the time that the two women arrived back in Emily's neighborhood.

"You must be so exhausted," Emily remarked as Paige rubbed her eyes with her free hand for what must have been the hundredth time since the sun went down. "Are you sure you don't just want to drop me off somewhere closer to your place. I can find a bus line or just catch a cab the rest of the way."

"I'm fine," Paige assured her. "I'm not dropping you off at a corner like some sort of a hitchhiker."

When they arrived at Emily's street Paige killed the engine and turned towards the raven haired woman:  
"So, which one is yours?"

"It's the basement door," Emily said, pointing towards the half-buried floor which was her humble inhabitat. "No, you don't need to get up."

"Remember that thing I told you about your luggage this morning Em," Paige said, unbuckling her seatbelt. "It still applies after the sun goes down. I want you in top form for your practices, not injuring yourself when you're already exhausted swinging suitcases."

"Always the gentlewoman aren't you McCullers," Emily said, unable to hide a smile.

"Yes mam," Paige answered in an impressive southern accent as she dipped her head and tipped off an imaginary hat. "Besides, these streets ain't safe to walk alone so late at night. There are some dangerous folks out there Miss Fields."

"If you insist," Emily said, her smile widening, partly because she found Paige's antics funny and partly because in some strange way she also found it irresistibly charming.

They got out of the car and the auburn woman got her backpack out of the back seat. Emily fiddled nervously with her keychain, wondering how she could get the other woman to deposit her bag without her seeing the sad state of her living conditions. More than anything else she didn't want to be pitied any more. She thought about her embarrassment when Hanna had ambushed her and felt her face starting to blush.

"To heck with your pride Fields," Emily mumbled to herself as she bit her lip and inhaled sharply.

"I'm sorry," Paige said, posing the backpack on her shoulder. "Did you say anything?"

"I wanted to… I didn't…. I meant…." Emily's tongue was tied around her teeth. She straightened up and looked the other woman straight into the eye. "Would you like to come in for some coffee?"


	42. Chapter 42: All roads

Emily turned around to the sound of the kettle ringing and poured its content into two cups that she had placed on the small folding table. She picked them up and walked to the other end of the room, taking small steps in order not to spill the content out. Paige was turning her back to her, looking over the small bookshelf.

"See something you like?" Emily asked to attract the other woman's attention. She turned around and smiled as she handed her one of the cups. "Careful. It's hot. I hope you're okay with nescafé."

"It's great. Thank you. Beats taping my eyelids up before I drive back to my place."

"You must be exhausted after all that driving."

"I am. But I enjoyed spending time with you, even though we weren't discussing the most pleasurable things."

"Are you sure you're okay with what I've told you?" Emily asked frowning. The other girl responded with a small chuckle and a dip of the head. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. It's just," Paige took a small pause, searching for the right words. "You always put other people first Em. Even when you should be putting yourself in first place. You just described to me one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a person and yet the thing you're most worried about is how I feel about it."

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about about you."

"It's okay. Don't apologize. It's who you are. In fact it's one of the things I've always liked so much about you," Emily felt the warmth of the other woman's hand clasping hers while her brown eyes didn't break contact with her. "Just promise me Em that you'll concentrate on yourself. I don't want you messing anything up thinking it will help me okay?"

"Okay," Emily said, swallowing hard.

"You promise me?"

"I promise," Emily tilted her head to study Paige's profile. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking how hard this must have all been for Aria. Her whole life just being turned upside down like that."

"It was. I think that's one of the reasons she went away."

"Back to Iceland?"

"Yeah. She just wanted to be somewhere that wasn't so… tainted by what he put us through."

"I saw that she was back during Christmas. She looked good. Is she happy?"

"I don't think she's happy no. Not yet," Emily said, pausing before smiling to herself. "But I think now that she has the possibility of becoming happy again. She talked about staying with Spencer in her new place for some time."

"That's good. She's lucky to have you guys. But why choose to stay with Spencer in Rosewood though? Doesn't that bring up too many painful memories for her?"

"I think that's the thing though. I talked to her over the Christmas vacation. She told me that after she had spent some time being somewhere where nothing had any connection to her she decided that she wanted to make something of herself in Rosewood. Take charge of her own life there. Because that huge chunk of her life, her longest relationship, the guy that she thought she was going to marry, it was all just some elaborate lie. I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like. I used to think losing the people that I cared about, my dad, Ali, that was the peak of suffering. But even if you lose someone it still doesn't invalidate what you had together. I guess there are worse things in life than outliving your loved ones."

"When you're loved ones don't turn out to be who you thought they were?"

"Exactly."

They sat in silence for a long while, sipping on their coffees.

"I should probably get going," Paige said, deposing of her coffee cup on the nightstand. "I have to get back to work early tomorrow."

"Back to swimming in paperwork?" Emily asked, trying to lift the heavy mood that the other conversation had brought about.

"Yes. And if I do good I might get some actual swimming done as well."

"I guess I'll be seeing you in the pool then?"

"I guess so," Paige said, standing around slightly awkward, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her jeans.

The other woman seemed to be trying to say something but once they had passed a few moments in silence Emily opted for carrying their cups back to the small kitchenette. It was then that she heard the words:

"It was real."

"I'm sorry?" Emily asked turning around.

"What we had back in highschool," Paige said with some difficulty. "It was real. I know I wasn't always the perfect girlfriend. I lied some and I did plenty of things that were less than honorable. But what I felt for you was real. So real that it used to terrify me. I might not always have been truthful but my feelings were never anything except the truth."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Emily woke up from the heavy slumber. She looked next to her to find the auburn haired girl still fast asleep, hair falling down her back except for a small braid that was tucked behind her ear. She extended her hand to caress the part of her back that wasn't tucked under the covers and then got on her feet, peering at the scenery from behind the curtains. She thought about what the other girl had told her the night before after a rather casual evening that had turned more serious once they got back to the room:_

 _"Are you afraid of being lonely?"_

 _"I'm afraid of being alone."_

 _She turned back around to the bed, tiring of looking outside to a world that she wasn't really sure that she comprehended anymore, when the person that made her feel like that might just be okay was lying right in that bed. She scooted behind the other girl who groaned in her sleep, welcoming the arm that the raven haired girl placed around her and giving it a little squeeze before her entire body slumped back into complete relaxation. Emily placed a small kiss underneath her ear._

Emily was jolted abruptly awake by the sound of her mobile phone ringing on her nightstand. She looked at the name of the screen and released a loud groan before hitting the answer button:

"Do you know what time it is Han? And what happened to "life doesn't start until the afternoon."

"Sorry. I was up early. I had… I couldn't sleep. Your mom came over last night and gave me a letter that came for you from the hospital. You want me to open it and tell you what it is?"

"I don't think that's such a good…" Emily stopped herself, her mind still trying to let go of the dream that the phone call had ripped her so suddenly from. She had wanted to see it to the end even though she knew exactly what was going to happen. _"No more secrets,"_ she berated herself before taking a deep breath and responding to Hanna's question: "Open it up for me. Tell me what it says."

Paige exited her bathroom, throwing the towel that she had been using to dry her hair onto the bed and proceeded to get dressed. She had just gotten into the kitchen and was pouring herself a cup of coffee when she heard her mobile phone ringing. She picked it up and heard Emily's voice asking anxiously right away:

"I'm sorry. I didn't wake you did I?"

"No. But I'm not so sure how well I would have responded right before I got my first coffee cup in my hand," Paige said smirking. "What's up?"

"You were right."

"As much as I'm glad to know that I'm afraid you'll have to be a little more specific. Right about what?"

"That all roads lead back to Rosewood."

 **Author's Note: After some warm Christmas fluff I am trying to get the main plot of the story back into gear so I would love to hear some of your thought about how it's turning out. How did you like the AD revelation ? And do you find the rest of the mystery hard to follow or are the explanations sufficient ? I'm trying to strike some sort of balance between not leaving you guys completely in the dark and feeling like nothing is explained and explaining too much and making the story into one long explanation. Any commentary on how that delicate line dance is doing would be highly appreciated. And as always, thanks for reading my fic.**


	43. Chapter 43: Lurking in the Deep

Paige closed the door to her trunk, duffel bag in hand, whistling a cheery tune. There had been two weeks since she and Emily had returned to California and so far their time had been problem free. The raven haired woman still showed up for her weekly appointment and Paige, despite trying to fight the feeling, found herself looking forward to waking up on Saturday mornings which she used to dread since before it only meant waking up early and slaving over paperwork. But nowadays she would be up even before her alarm clock had rung and would find herself fuzzing over her appearances when before she would usually just put on whatever she was wearing yesterday.

As she neared the natatorium she noticed a petite figure standing close to the entry.

"Didn't you get enough lurking done back in Rosewood?" Paige said walking over to Mona who tilted her head as a sort of subtle greet.

"Like a muscle, my stealth is a thing that needs regular training," Mona said giving a small smirk. "Besides, I have work to do. But why are you here? There are no swimming practices in the next hour. I checked."

"Of course you did," Paige said. "I have consultation with some of the team members before their practice and I decided to get some training done myself before that."

"Some members more special than others?" Mona asked, giving Paige a piercing look that she could feel digging its way into her skull.

"Why are you here Mona?" Paige asked, losing her patience for these silly games.

"I finally cleared some time in my schedule and decided to look around for some clues as to who might be after you."

"Look at you go. But what do you think you'll find at the natatorium? And besides, there hasn't anything shady happened for the last couple of weeks."

"Firstly McCullers, have you learned nothing from me? What you should fear the most when there comes to these sort of situations is the calm before the storm. Secondly, there should be some sort of security camera in this place and I was looking to get my hand on it. Maybe it can give you a leg up."

"Does getting things give you more pleasure when done unlawfully?" Paige asked, now the one making the other woman awkward.

"Getting them lawfully could mean that people start asking questions. I am not a fan of the idea of being questioned," Mona said as she turned to start walking towards the entry. "Now if you'll excuse me."

"How about the idea of having an ally?" Paige called after her.

"What do you mean?" Mona said, stopping to turn facing her.

"I mean this," Paige said, getting key chain out of her pocket and dangling them in front of Mona. "I have a key to the exam room which is right next to the security station."

Once the two women were safely inside and making their way to the exam room they were startled to hear the footsteps of someone entering the natatorium.

"Whoever it is you need to stall them," Paige said, turning the key and opening the door to a crack.

"I stall them? You stall them!" Mona whispered.

"Look, I have the keys, I know where they go and I know where to find the tape. Whoever that is you need to distract them until I get back."

"Fine," Mona responded, evidently realizing that they didn't have time to quarrell. She pulled a small memory stick from her bag and handed it to the other woman. "You'll need this."  
"See you on the other side," Paige whispered before slipping inside.

Once inside she ducked down, making sure that her shadow couldn't be seen through the curtains on the windows and started scooting towards the door at the other side of the room. Luckily for her the door wasn't locked since she was already inside an employee only area and she opened it slightly spotting an old computer on a table next to the entrance. She recalled a conversation that she had had with Cat once about university security and how the security cameras are mostly a formality. The computer was showing the entry, bleachers and the front of the natatorium where Mona was standing talking to a tall blond. She shorter woman dipped her head and seemed to be properly engaged in the conversation and it was difficult to see whether her behavior was an act or genuine. But then again with Mona Paige was never really sure which one it was.

"Focus," Paige berated herself, searching for a folder in the computer remembering another thing that Cat had told her. _"They usually tape over the old files. Sometimes the loop will be a week long, other times only a day."_

"Here we go," Paige said, plugging the memory stick in and copying the recorded video reel onto it before slipping back outside.

Once back in the natatorium she was relieved to see that the blond was turning her back to her so she returned to the front door straightened her back and made the loud gesture of slamming it, making it seem like she had just gotten there.

"There you are," Mona said, turning towards her with a smile and a very clear message beaming from her eyes: _play along with what I'll say, okay?_ "Late as usual McCullers."

"Sorry," Paige said, lifting her arms up in defeat. "I got stuck in traffic. I hope you weren't too bored."

"No, don't worry. Grace here proved to be excellent company," Mona said, gesturing to the other woman whose smile Paige recognized immediately.

"I came early to make a plan for this week's practice. Mona told me that she was meeting you here," Grace said, not taking her eyes off the smaller woman even though she was talking to Paige. "Is she another person that you're trying to draft into my team?"

"Not this time. I was however trying to convince Mona to take up swimming as exercise. Isn't that right Mona?"

"That's right," Mona said. "However I'm afraid I'll have to pass, seeing how I forgot my swimsuit."

"We have a couple of extra in the staff room," Grace said, gesturing towards the door Paige had just slipped out of.

"I guess you have no excuse then huh Mona old pal?" Paige said, playfully punching her shoulder which she returned by shooting daggers at her.

"I'll show you the right moves," Grace said with a confident smile. "After all, that's what swimming captains are for right?"

"Right," Paige said, enjoying how awkward the whole situation was making Mona, who had lost her typical arrogant attitude and seemed somewhat self-conscious. "Better get our swimsuits on then."

"Let me just go and get those swim suits," Grace said jogging off.

Mona turned towards Paige, the anger shooting out of her eyes:

"I'm going to get you for this McCullers!"

"If you want to you'll have to catch me. And I know for a fact that I swim a whole lot faster than you," Paige said, swinging her duffel bag onto her shoulder. She headed towards the shower room and couldn't help bursting into laughter as she was in safe distance from the angered woman. Boy did she have a story to tell Emily.

 **Author's Notes: I've been hitting a stride recently instead of my typical writers block so when I wrote two chapters in less than a week I thought "Why not?" and just posted them both. I think the next chapter might be coming up soon enough. Any questions can be directed to me in the reviews or PM and I will try to answer to the best of my capacities.**


	44. Chapter 44: Shadows

Emily untied her apron and wiped sweat from her brow as she threw the offensive looking cloth into a bin by the far end of the room. She was finally done with her shift at the cafeteria and it couldn't have come soon enough. Not only had she been pouring over an assignment until late the night before but with Grace's insistence of "seizing the day" she was now waking up at half past six every morning in order to catch the morning practice. She was glad to be back in the saddle however -the bustle reminded her of how her life used to be back in Rosewood: being busy but happy and constantly a part of something. And, as she hesitantly admitted to herself, it gave her an excuse to think less about the fact that Paige had been irregularly reserved for the past few weeks. Since they had returned from Rosewood it seemed like the events that had transpired there had happened inside of some magic bubble and while Emily was too afraid to take the initiative to discuss them, she also lamented the fact that as of lately she had felt how absent minded the other woman was, even during their Saturday meetings. She sighed heavily while getting her things out of her work locker and fished a buzzing cellphone out of her bag.

 **Ollie:**

 **Out of the salt mines yet?**

 **Emily:**

 **I can see the light.**

 **Ollie:**

 **Awesome. Want to meet up?**

 **Emily:**

 **I thought you were hanging with Cat.**

 **Ollie:**

 **I was but she had to leave early. Want to be alone together?**

 **Emily:**

 **I think I have to bail. I'm sooo dead. And I have an early morning tomorrow.**

 **Ollie:**

 **Ah, your secret sessions with Paigey. I remember now.**

 **Emily:  
It's not a secret.**

 **Ollie:  
...just that nobody knows about it. Whatever. She still giving you the cold shoulder?**

 **Emily:  
Wouldn't call it a cold shoulder...**

 **Ollie:**

 **What then?  
**

 **Emily:  
It's more like she's been absent minded lately.**

 **Ollie:**

 **Maybe she's still just a little light headed after all that holiday luvin.**

 **Emily:**

 **You're such an idiot. Good night.**

Emily snickered as she put her phone back down and mentally debated herself as she leaned against her locker. She could wait until she was back in her flat to wash off the sweat and grime from work but her water heater had been acting patchy as of lately and besides she already had a towel with her from the morning and afternoon practice...

"It's amazing you haven't dissolved yet," she muttered to herself before shut her locker and headed to the natatorium.

* * *

Emily felt refreshed after the shower and as she was packing her stuff again she wondered if it was too late to text Ollie back and see if he was up to something. Maybe she should text Paige too. Just because they weren't ready to discuss how close they had gotten back in Rosewood there was no reason why the two of them couldn't just hang out like friends. Just as she was about to punch in her contact a ruckus pulled Emily from her thoughts.

"Hello," she said and dropped her bag, hearing her voice echo in the empty locker room. "Is anybody there?"

She was met with silence and decided therefore to investigate the natatorium where the noise had come from. The large hall was empty, as it should be; Emly could not recall ever having run in with anyone when she had snuck to take a shower there after work and she suspected that some of her team mates even thought that the place was off limits when they weren't practicing. Usage at this hour might be frowned upon if found out but as Emily had realized during her time in Rosewood, life was unpredictable and sometimes it was better to just do things and apologize later. After having taken a thorough look around and coming up empty she was about to turn and exit from where she came but was suddenly grabbed and, without being able to produce as much as a small peep, pulled into the shadows. She was getting ready to scream and shout, fight for her life, jab the assailant with her elbow like her dad had taught her when she realized that there was something familiar in the demeanor of the mystery person who released her hold.

"Paige?" Emily asked, turning around to face the other woman. "What the heck? What are you doing here."

"I can explain everything," Paige said, putting a finger on Emily's half open mouth. "But right now you need to be quiet. Can you do that for me?"

The two women were startled by a rasping sound at the other side of the door that led to the outside. It was locked after the evening practice, making the natatorium only accessible through the university hallways, but it sounded like whoever was on the other side was attempting to get in none the less.

"Darn, they're early. We need to hide Em," Paige said, hurriedly looking around. During their bustle they had pivoted to the bank of the pool and discovered regretfully that there was no hiding place close to them.

"What do we do?" Paige said, her eyes almost sticking out of her head in panic.

"I know," Emily said, grabbing the other woman's upper arm. "But you have to trust me, okay?"

* * *

Emily listened as she heard how someone gently coaxed the door oped and closed it just as gently. It was followed by the swinging of a door in a proximity that sounded like it had to be the door to the exam room. She recognized that sound all too well, she realized with a blush, for she was used to listening for that sound when she was out of the water at practice because that might just mean that Paige was popping in to have an appointment with some of the other swimmers and that she could find an excuse to go in afterwards and have herself a nice chat. She was torn from her thoughts as the door swung open and the footsteps were heard again but then stopped very close from where she was. With panic she realized that whoever that person was they were probably looking to see if anybody else was there to watch them. After what seemed forever she heard the footsteps again, approaching the front door once again and when it had swung shut she waited a few more moments before allowing herself to assume that whoever that had been they were gone for good.

"They're gone, right?" she heard Paige say, who was resting snuggly in her arms, only her head bobbing above the clear chlorine water.

"Yeah," Emily said, releasing Paige and hoisting herself up from the water before offering her hand to the other woman. "Mind telling me what this is all about now?"

"Can we do it in dry clothes?" Paige asked, pointing towards her drenched clothes which made an unpleasant sound as she was pulled from out of the water.

"I didn't bring any with me," Emily said blushing. "I-I was just here to take a shower, after my shift. My boiler isn't working so well these days."

"I understand. Want to shower at my place? I kind of owe that to you after your swift thinking," Paige met Emily's eyes, noticing that they were still full of questions and looked back and her, unyielding. "I'll explain everything once we're there. I promise."

 **Author's Notes: A note on how the events in this story unfold: I was worried while reading over some of the old chapters that things happen in a way that is sort of unbelievable. However, after watching some wonderful shows I realized that camp is something I love very dearly and thus I want to continue writing a fic that has a bit of a campy quality, which I hope you are enjoying.**


	45. Chapter 45: Naked

When Emily exited the bathroom she found Paige sitting, on a couch she didn't quite recognize, booting up her laptop.

"Aren't you going to get the couch all wet?" Emily asked, prompting the other woman to spring up. She couldn't help smiling at how awkward she looked, like a small child that had done something bad, so she grabbed one of the towels she had been using and spread it onto the wet cushion. "Here, now you won't have to sit in it."

"I should probably take a shower too," Paige said, looking towards the computer. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure thing," Emily said. "But you promised me some explanations."

"This all relates to that. I had a visit two weeks ago from our favorite P.I. She persuaded me to get a copy of the security reel from the natatorium and the adjoining parts of Pepperidge."

"You stole it?" Emily asked open mouthed.

"Well, I copied it while Mona stalled Grace. Which led to her having to participate in a swimming lesson. It's a funny story, really…. And I should probably get to it later," Paige trailed off when she saw Emily's demanding demeanor. "Anyway, when looking at the tapes we found out that we weren't the only ones that have been taking advantage of the university's lax security. There was a figure, similar in size to the one that we saw on the tape from the Hungry Owl that had been there. So we decided to return and mess with the video a bit; loop it so our interference wasn't on the tape. And then the week after I nabbed the video again and phoned Mona who instructed me on how to loop the video again. And there they were again, on Friday evening at the same time, like clockwork. I figured that they did this regularly, snuck in to look over the tapes from the week."

"Looking for you?"

"Maybe. Seeing how often I was there, at what time, seeing who I was interacting with…"

"You're giving me goosebumps," Emily said, shivering. She noticed how Paige extended her hand to comfort her without even noticing it herself but said nothing about it, enjoying the comforting circles that the other woman's hand made on her back. "So, did you go there tonight to ambush them?"

"Not exactly," Paige said. "When me and Caleb were trying to help you with A back in Rosewood, we wanted to beat them by being one step ahead, so that is exactly what I planned. I asked Cat to program a tracer for me and planted it into the computer in the surveillance room."

"What do you mean by trace?" Emily asked.

"It's a virus of a sorts that can give your computer commands without you noticing it. And this one will send an ip address to me, the second that the computer is connected to the internet."

"I see, so you're trying to…"

"Nail their ass to the wall," Paige declared with confidence. "They won't know what hit them. But what I wanted to ask you is to survey the computer. Cat will message me once the ip address pings."

"So that's why she had to go home early?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," Paige said apologetic. "I'm sorry. She seems to really like your friend."

"Have you considered allowing her to tell him what this is all about?" Emily asked.

"I have, but once you told me that you've been getting threats too I changed my mind. I need to keep this as much on the down low as possible. This isn't just about me anymore."

"I do appreciate that," Emily said, swallowing hard before continuing. "I used to think like this too Paige. About fighting A, about my shoulder injury… about everything really. But what it did was it made things so much worse. Not only was my life in constant peril, but I lost so many people because I pushed them away. And I don't know Cat too well but I know that she seems sweet and would probably do anything you ask her to. And I also know that Ollie is one of the sweetest guys I have ever met and he and Cat seem to have something extremely special. So even though I appreciate your concern over my safety it shouldn't come at this cost."

They looked at each other for a few moments, breather in unison as Paige's hand on her back had settled between her shoulder blades. She sighed and dipped her head:

"You're right. You're absolutely right. How do you always manage that?"

"Many years spent doing all the wrong things," Emily said, smiling at the other woman's willingness to take her advice.

"I'll text her," Paige said standing up, fiddling around with her phone. "And finally get in that shower. Will you be okay here?"

"I will hold down the fort," Emily said. "Don't you worry. Now get out of those wet clothes. You're going to make yourself sick."

* * *

Emily's head shot up as a small noise crept into her dreamless sleep. She looked around, realizing that she had fallen asleep on the couch. Panic stricken she checked the computer to see if there was any word from Cat but found no notification. It was then that she realized that the noise was coming from the bathroom.

"Em, Emily?" Paige's voice came from behind the door. "You didn't happen to take both the towels that I set out?"

"I did," Emily remarked. "I thought you set them both out for me."

"Well. I did put one of them out for you…"

"You mean that…" , Emily gasped, the wheels finally turning in her sleepy mind. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry Paige."

"It's no problem," Paige said. "Just get me one from the chest of drawers in the living room will you?"

Emily returned, almost sprinting with a set of towels, knocking lightly on the door. It was opened a slit and even though she tried to focus only on the outstretched hand that she placed the towels into, she couldn't help but to notice other factors, such as the fact that when Paige pulled her arm back to close the door a large part of the left side of her torso became visible. What she saw was both similar but also foreign. Gone were the bony features of growing too fast in teenage years which had been replaced with well proportioned muscles and a soft curve where her hips met her side. The California sun had obviously been kinder to Paige than the rainy skies of Pennsylvania, making her skin thoroughly tanned safe for a few jagged marks on the upper parts of her ribs, usually hidden from sight when her arms were down. Emily remembered them. They were one of the many reasons why Paige had been so shy as a teenager.

 _"It's fine Paige, I'm not going to judge you," Emily assured the auburn girl who's head was too bowed to meet her eyes. "Besides, we have changed clothes in front of each other during swimming practice like a bazillion times."_

 _"It's not the same," Paige muttered, pulling at the hem of her t-shirt. "And don't you try to act like it is. Because it isn't."_

 _"Okay, fine. I'm sorry," Emily said, putting her hands up. "You're right. I was wrong. This is not the same. But whatever you're so ashamed of, I won't be. How I feel about you is not going to change in any way."_

 _"You promise?" Paige asked, finally looking up._

 _"I do," Emily said, stroking the auburn girl's hair. "But if you don't want to I will also completely understand that. We'll do things in whichever pace you prefer."_

 _"No, it's not that," Paige said, gnawing on her lip. "It's just, I'm scared."_

 _"I get that," Emily said. "What do you usually think of when you're feeling scared?"_

 _A small smile played across the other girl's lips:_

 _"You."_

 _She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Emily's who allowed herself to melt into the embrace. She felt as Paige took her hands in hers and directed them towards the hem of her shirt._

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _"With you I'm sure," Paige responded, leaning her forehead against the other girl. "Please."_

 _With one swift motion the t-shirt is off and Emily is pulled into another kiss. Their act quickly grows more intense and she feels herself pulling off her own shirt without even giving it another thought, eager to feel the other girl's skin against her own. Paige leans back into the bed with Emily following her movement, trailing soft kisses down her neck which emits a small moan from the other girl. She strokes her hand down her side, feeling her fingers brush against jagged scar tissue which is peppered over the other woman's left ribcage, just under the upper arm. She places her hands on the auburn girl's hips before looking up to meet her eye. What she sees is a whole entanglement of emotions: Anticipation, love, vulnerability, all shine from the dark eyes that gaze back into hers. On a whim she decides to turn the tables, lying down on the bed herself and flipping the other girl on top of her._

 _"I love you," Emily said, slipping a finger under the strap of the other girl's bra, caressing the length of her shoulder blade. "All of you."_

 _Paige doesn't respond but the way her eyes get glassy and her body eases into Emily's says all that needs to be said._

Emily was startled by Paige appearing in front of her, shutting the door to the bathroom.

"Thanks," she said, passing the second towel back to her. "But I only needed the one."

"Sorry," Emily said, a blush creeping up her face when she realized that Paige was about to take her towel off and get dressed. "I'll return this where I found it."

"You can just put it next to the shower," Paige said with a smirk. "You know, for the next time that you decide to use both of the towels and I need a spare."

"I said I was sorry," Emily mumbled, following Paige's order and walking into the bathroom. She lingered around for a bit, hoping that it gave the other woman ample time to put some clothes on. Her trip down memory lane was enough to make her flustered and she didn't want Paige to feel uncomfortable under her gaze.

"It's my fault really. I should have remembered that you usually use one towel for your hair and another one to dry off," Paige said. "I can't believe I forgot about that. Remember when we spent our first night at my house and you tried to explain that for me the first time."

"I do," Emily said and chuckled. "You were so surprised that I didn't just jump half wet into my tracksuit like we used to do all the time after swim practice. You even gave me that pet nickname."

"Come on. It was pretty endearing," Paige said, pushing the door to the bathroom open, dressed in a white t-shirt, jeans and wearing her best smirk.

"What was it again?" Emily asked, even though she remembered perfectly as the souvenir of the playful banter of their past warmed her heart.

"Shower Princess," Paige said, slipping into her old comedic demeanor, making an elaborate bow and placing an imaginary towel on her arm. "Anything else you'd like princess? Another towel? A foot massage perhaps?"

"You still got it," Emily said, stifling a laughter.

There was a beep from the other room and Emily suddenly remembered what she was suppose to have been doing, thanking her lucky stars that the volume on Paige's computer was cranked to the max.

"Well Princess," Paige said, turning back towards Emily. "I believe that the trap we laid has just been walked into."

 **Author Notes I: I'm sorry if any of you felt blueballed by the title of this chapter, but it was a play on words, referring to a nakedness that is not only connected with the revealing of the body. I hope that metaphor was visible throughout the chapter.**

 **II: The part where I wrote about Paige having developed from an awkward teenage shape is not to be taken as an insult but rather as a nod to the fact that she is suppose to be a teenager in most of the PLL series and teenagers are usually not as gorgeous and perfect as the characters in Pretty Little Liars. So if they were real people, there would have been much more difference between how they looked back in high school and when the story is suppose to take place. Again, I hope that you understood that while reading this chapter and once again I thank you for your attention, dedication and reviews.**


	46. Chapter 46: Triggered

"Did you get the coordinates?"

Cat's voice sounded unsure through the loudspeaker in Paige's car and there was momentary silence as the auburn haired woman looked to Emily who gave her a confirming nod.

"I did Cat. Thanks so much. You're a star," Paige said.

A self conscious chuckle was heard from the other end of the line before Cat's voice could be heard again:  
"And do you know how to get there?"

"I don't," Paige said, reaching out to a screen on her right. "But my GPS knows how to."

"That will be Ollie," Cat said as a knock was heard behind her. "I took your advice, I asked him to come see me and I'm telling him everything tonight. But I'm only a call away. Be careful you two."

"I'll watch over your friend," Emily said. "Now go be with mine. Good luck Cat."

"Ditto," Cat said before hanging up.

The coordinates took them to a run down part of town which neither of them recognized. Mindful of the fact that they needed to avoid being seen Paige parked the car in an alleyway a couple of blocks away and they travelled the rest of the way on foot. They ended up in an abandoned lot which they entered by slipping through a hole at the end of the wire fence.

"This place looks like an old drive in," Paige said, looking around. "I always wanted to go to one of those."

"Did the whole in the fence look man made to you?" Emily asked.

"Kind of. Why?" Paige said, turning to face her.

"Because I bet that our mystery person has used it too. And I bet that they wouldn't do that if they were residing here legally."

"So, if you were a squatter, where would you reside?" Paige asked, adding hastily: "Sorry, that probably came out wrong. What I meant was…"

"Shhh," Emily said, pressing a finger on Paige's lips and pulling her down behind one of the several cars that had been left in the parking lots which looked like also served as some sort of illegal graveyard. Peeking over the hood she located a small cabin at the other side of the lot and pointed it out to Paige: "That's where I'd reside."

They made their way towards the building, making sure to crouch down in order to stay hidden from whoever might be inside, a glint of light in the window strengthening their conviction that it was indeed occupied. But just when they were getting ready to slither towards the house Emily saw how Paige froze in place, a panicked expression flashing across her face.

"Go!" she said to Emily which looked down, noticing how the other woman's leg was caught in something that looked like a fishing line.

She didn't have any more time to ponder on that as the two women were blown away by a flashing light and a smoky explosion. Emily felt her body hitting the ground, a ringing noise echoing in her ears and she struggled to balance herself and crawl away. Once she got out of the white cloud she located the auburn haired woman who seemed to have already gotten her bearings and was on her feet. She pointed to her ears, shaking her head and Emily mimicked her actions to imply that she couldn't hear anything either. Paige pointed towards Emily and then the front door, before pointing to herself and towards the corner of the cabin. Having gotten the other woman's message Emily nodded and then turned her sights towards the window, where the light had already been turned off. Paige sprinted around the corner and amidst all the chaos Emily couldn't help but to think that whoever was in there they probably couldn't outrun her. She knew that she should have stayed put, waiting for whoever that was in there to exit, but even with one of her senses disabled, the other ones kicked in even harder than before and before she knew it she was leaping towards the front door, pushing her back towards the wall and kicking the door in with her heel, just like her dad had taught her. She charged in and despite not being able to hear her own voice, she bellowed as loud as she could:

"Don't move, we've got you cornered!"

In the low light she could barely make out a small figure standing at the other side of the room. Their eyes met for a moment before the figure reached for a doorknob, flinging open the back door. Behind them Emily could make out the outlines of the other woman as she sprinted towards the entrance that they were trying to exit through. The raven haired woman sprinted towards them, hoping that if she was fast enough they might be able to corner them. The black clad figure moved with lightning speed, charging towards Paige, who tried to grapple them. However, the sheer speed of the figure and the fact that one of her sense's was off allowed them to knock her forcefully over before sprinting away into the parking lot. Emily couldn't think straight, she barely felt her feet moving anymore as she exited and grabbed the auburn haired woman who was lying in a heap on the stairs.

"Paige! Paige!" she screamed, despite knowing that neither of them could hear her, fumbling desperately for her phone, never taking her eyes off the limp body that she was holding in her arms.

 **Author's Notes: Yes, I know, a huge cliffhanger. I have gotten into the habit of constructing chapters around cliffhangers. I have panned the next chapter out and I will try to update as soon as possible.**


	47. Chapter 47: Control

A shrill ringing noise caught Emily's attention and pulled her eyes from the window that she had been gazing out of. She picked her phone up from the table and swiped right below the photo of the face of her petite brunette friend which then immediately got replaced with a video of her.

"Sorry for the delay," Aria said with sincerity. "I got caught up in some work and forgot about the time."

"Don't worry about it," Emily said, smiling. "How have you been?"

"Don't you think I should be asking you that question?" Aria said, cocking an eyebrow. "You know, about you and Paige being on the tail of the person that was stalking her, nevermind that you were helping her chase them down, or you know, maybe just the fact alone that she has a stalker that has been watching you too."

"Have you been drinking Spencer's coffee again?" Emily asked, mentally hitting herself for not having told Aria nor Spencer about the events that had transpired in the last couple of months earlier. After all, they used to tell each other everything. "I know I should have told you sooner. I was just trying to take care of things myself. Keep it all together you know…"

"Like you've tended to do in the past. Geez, I don't know why it didn't work this time."

"Nevermind the coffee, have you been sneaking sips from Spencer's bottomless well of sarcasm?"

"We might have learned a thing or two from one another from sharing an apartment," Aria remarked. "Like when someone is dodging a question."

"Point taken," Emily said, laughing at the other woman's dry wits before turning serious again. "Well, when Paige got hurt I realized that I couldn't keep this part of my life secret from you nor Spencer anymore."

"We did survive A together," Aria remarked. "Even though we aren't there with you now I hope that we can help you figuring this out too."

"But that's just the thing," Emily said, leaning against the wall and pinching her nose between her thumb and forefinger "This doesn't feel anything like A."

"What do you mean?"

"When we were dealing with A he always seemed to be one step ahead of us. He had eyes and ears everywhere and plenty of resources. Whoever this is, they seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrel and to rely mostly on their own wit. They feel like an animal that got cornered so it showed us its bark and got away by the skin of its teeth. Their safe house was triggered yes, but the trap was primitive and probably home made. I saw them running away and they can't have been carrying anything more than a small backpack, maybe a laptop and I didn't find any more technical equipment when I scored the place later with Hanna and Caleb. It was mostly just photos and some equipment to produce them. It looked like the base for some sort of guerilla operation in a third world country really."

"Apart from the photos, what did you find?"

"A file on Paige, notes on me and other people that she knows. You know, the usual that you would require to operate a stalking operation," Emily her best attempts in trying to remain reasonable and calm couldn't stop a shivering from passing through her. "But the strangest thing was the letters."

"The letters?"

"They dropped them when they smashed into Paige. I'm guessing that they are pretty important to them, considering that they tried taking them with them. I've been reading through them for the last week but they don't make any sense to me. I guess I'm lacking the context…"

"What do they say?"

"They all seem to be addressed to the same person, who the writer refers to as the Little Prince. The letters talk about this person affectionately but never refer to anything of substance that can be used to guess where the writer nor the receiver are from, where they lived or how they are."

"Then what do they talk about?"

"The person writing them talks about how they miss their prince when he isn't there and hope that one day they can be with one another again."

"Is there at least a name that the writer goes by?"

"The letters are usually signed with a drawing of a rose but I don't know if that is suppose to be the name of the writer or not…"

"I don't think so. This whole theme is starting to sound a little familiar…"

"You don't mean…"

"No, no. Not that. Goodness no. It sounds familiar to something they made me read in a course I took in back in Savannah. They made us read this children's novel by this French author."

"A children's book, really?"

"Well, it's not merely a children's book. It's a philosophical book which explores very mature themes through fantastic characters, like animated animals."

"And this has to do with the letters how?"

"The book is called the Little Prince. I think I still have it in some of the boxes I haven't unpacked. Want me to send it to you?"

"That would be great. You think it can shed some light into what these letters are saying?"

"Maybe, maybe not. The writer could be using the book as a reference, like a code or something. I'll get around to sending it today. Did you receive the other care package that I sent you?"

"Uhm, yes in fact I did," Emily chewed her cheek, trying desperately to decide what she should say next. "I saw it last night when I was getting home and brought it in with me but I was too exhausted to open it."

"It only came yesterday?" Aria asked, furrowing her brow. "That's strange. I sent it more than a week ago."

"Postal service, what can I tell you?" Emily said, shrugging her shoulders. "But anyway, I should go now. Thanks for all the help. And the book referral."

"No problem Em. Take care of yourself. And send Paige my best. I hope she gets better soon."

"I'll do that once I see her. Bye-bye," Emily said, shutting the conversation off and turning around.

"Hey. Sorry I took so long," Paige said, emerging with wet hair and shaking a casted hand apologetically. "It still takes forever to get the plastic bag off. It gets all wet and clammy somehow."

"You know I would gladly help you with that," Emily remarked, not wanting that the other woman's injury would cause her more distress than it already did.

"I like to think that I'm still able to take care of some things myself," Paige said, sticking out her chest like the suggestion had just offended her pride. "What am I saying? It's a sprained ulna, not a death sentence."

"It could have turned out much worse," Emily reminded her, panic still gripping her when she thought about that night, scrawling to find Paige lying so lifeless on the ground, fearing the worst.

"Yeah, but it didn't. I'm lucky that way," Paige said, sitting down on the couch and tapping her hand on the cushion next to her. "Anyway, who was that on the phone?"

"Aria," Emily responded, taking a seat next to the other woman. "She had some clues as to where the writer of these letters got their inspiration from."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. She recognized the theme from some book and said she was going to send it to me."

"Great. But that would mean that you would actually have to swing by your house and get it. You know, that place where your physical address is."

"Ha-ha!"

"Don't take this the wrong way. I really like having you here. Especially since despite my best attempts I haven't been able to open a beer bottle with this darn cast on. But I do feel like I'm sort of hogging you."

"I'm showing up for my trainings and my courses," Emily said, not meeting Paige's eye. "After what happened I was just...afraid for you. And you're not hogging me from anyone. I'm sure that Cat told you that Ollie took her on an impromptu weekend trip and Caleb and Hanna are visiting his mom."

"My cast comes off on Wednesday. You don't need to worry about me feeding myself half frozen dinners after that. And I'll be able to applaud you with both hands when you crush that tournament next weekend."

"You mean you'll be there?"

"Of course I will. Wouldn't miss it for anything. Besides, someone needs to tell Hanna when to cheer. But will you promise me one thing?"

"Anything."

"Once my cast is off you should stop sleeping on my couch. You need to be in fighting form next weekend. And I would never forgive myself if you lost on account of sleeping on my crappy furniture."

"Deal."

"I'll miss having you though," Paige said, her voice sounding incredibly sincere. "I think I've had more home cooked meals in the last week with you here than I did the last couple of months. Speaking of, are you hungry?"

"Yeah, but I forgot to go out for groceries. I was waiting for Aria to call me. She got held up."

"Don't worry about it. Chinese?" Paige said, waving her phone.

"Fine, but I'm picking a movie then," Emily said, smirking.

"It's a deal," Paige said, getting up to retrieve the menu that Emily knew was hanging on her fridge. "You still like the kung pao chicken right?"

Once Paige had disappeared into the kitchen Emily sighed as the sudden reality check of the status quo hit her. Despite being incredibly shaken by what had happened at the drive-in last weekend, the insuring hours when she had rushed Paige to the emergency room and sweatily paced the halls until a nurse came to assure her that her friend's injuries were minor, the remainder of the week which she had spent on Paige's couch, ensuring her that it was to assist her because of her injury, had been a welcome comfort. After the first couple of days, which they had slowly spent learning into one another's habits she felt like they had developed a somewhat homey atmosphere: they worked on separate sides of the couch, cooked dinner together, playfully bantered about what to watch on TV. It evoke feelings in Emily that she had not felt for many years now and had become so distant to her that she had almost forgotten that she was able to have them. Unlike before she found herself looking forward to going home in the evenings, knowing that sooner or later she would be met with an exhausted Paige who would awkwardly fling her bag off her shoulder and throw her keys on the chest of drawers before asking how her day had been. Just like before at the New Year's Eve dance she knew that it was a sort of a bubble, a dance that they were engaged in, and she was unsure of how to proceed, not wanting to burst the bubble. She wasn't sure exactly how it was that Paige felt about her and she was afraid that if she proceeded she could ruin the friendship that they had spent the last couple of months building.

"Another sports movie? Really?" Paige's voice cut through Emily's thoughts.

"Call me crazy," Emily said. "But I like watching those before competing. It gets me in the mindset somehow."

"Well, whatever the Pepperdine's shooting star wants she should get," Paige said, taking a seat next to her. "Food will be here in thirty minutes."

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The white letters of the credit list crept up the screen, casting a small glint of light on the otherwise darkened room. Emily reached for the remote in order to turn the volume down. A slow stir caused her to steady her movements and move her hand again over the shoulder of Paige who was fast asleep, her head leaning against Emily's chest. They had ended up watching another movie after the other one had ended, this time opting for a thriller that Paige had suggested. Her choice had puzzled Emily greatly, because once the movie started it turned out that Paige had quite a mouse heart and that she would huddle against her, covering her eyes every time that the music so much as changed. The other woman had however started to get drowsy at the drawn out finale and was fast asleep by the time that the credits rolled in.

Emily tilted her head to get a better look at the slumbering woman, her face peaceful and her chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm. Despite having been injured and badly shaken up she looked peaceful and serene and very unlike one of the photos that were in the file that she had uncovered at the safehouse. Along with many photos that seemed to be taken recently this one showed a much younger Paige. She was definitely a teenager but was not anything like the person that Emily had gotten to know back in Rosewood High. The girl on the photograph looked shriveled and gaunt, her eyes staring towards the camera but her mind seemingly far away. When she had quizzed Paige about it she had shrugged nonchalantly and said that she didn't remember where it was taken and that she hadn't really had the greatest teenage years. However there was something about that photo and the look that she had on it which had cut itself inside of Emily's mind. For some reason she thought back to a conversation that she had with Aria over Christmas break:

" _When I found out what he had done I had to go away," the petite brunette said, her eyes becoming watery but looking away from Emily's gaze. "I had to be somewhere where I could just be myself in my own right. Get back control. Not let someone else and my feelings toward them dictate my every move."_

 _"Isn't that what we're all doing now?" Emily asked. "Spencer with her new job, Hanna with her management courses, you with your trip to Iceland and your independent writing…"_

 _"You finally going back to swimming," Aria finished the sentence for her. "Yes. I think so. We're getting back some of the control that was taken away from us. With all the cheating, the lying, the backstabbing and scheming. We're moving beyond that. But it takes work. And time. But I think what's important is to know every step of the way is what is and isn't control in your life and to ask yourself if you're okay with that. I let so many things go beyond my control that I think at some point I just lost myself. But it's also important not to try to control things which are out of your control, because that way you will surely manage to mess them up, like a flower that you squeeze so hard to hold onto that you end up destroying it."_

 _"You're quite the poet," Emily remarked._

 _"And don't I know it," Aria responded, eliciting a loud giggle from her friend._

Emily felt Paige stirring up against her, snuggling her head into the nook of her neck. The raven haired woman let out a sigh, before bending her head to plant a small kiss on the top of the other woman's head. She leaned her head against the armrest of the couch, wondering if she could work the blanket that was on the other side of the couch over the two of them.

"This isn't control," she admitted to herself. As the words left her mouth, she felt like there was immense pressure lifted from her shoulders. And just like that she was finally able to relax the muscles that had been taut for the entire week, and felt how her eyelids grew heavier as she drifted off to sleep.


	48. Chapter 48: The talk

Emily looked at the last slice of pizza that was sitting on the plate in front of her. She turned her head up to face Hanna who she caught doing the exact same thing.

"You want the last piece?" Emily suggested which caused the blonde to light up like a Christmas tree.

"I thought you were never going to ask," she said, grabbing the piece before suddenly pausing. "Wait, shouldn't you take it, seeing that you are going to swim like a thousand laps on record time tomorrow?"

"Hanna, if I take one more bite I think I'm going to burst," Emily said, leaning back to underline her statement.

The blonde chomped happily down on the pizza and chewed in silence for a few moments before speaking again:  
"I've missed this you know."

"Eating pizza?" Emily asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Did you get cut off for some reason? Caleb get to your stash?"

"No, this silly," Hanna said, gesturing towards the two of them. "Remember back in Rosewood? We used to do this every time that you had a big swim meet. What did you call it, carbon monoxide…"

"Carbo-loading," Emily said and rolled her eyes at the blonde's wrongful terminology. "Yeah. I remember. I explained that the science of eating a lot of carbs before a swim meet because the high intensity of the cardio workout..."

"And I didn't get a word of what you were saying," Hanna chimed in happily. "But I heard you mention pizza somewhere in that word soup so I volunteered to be your comrade in arms."

"You weren't even on the swim team," Emily giggled, knowing exactly what the response to this statement would be.

"Cheering is also a very exhausting activity," Hanna said, finishing her slice and drying her greasy fingers on a napkin. "And I'll be showcasing that tomorrow. Just like in the old days."

"You want to hear something crazy?" Emily said, leaning over the table. The blonde leaned from the other side, her body language sending an obvious message: 'Go on.' "I miss things like this almost as much as I missed swimming. Maybe even as much. I didn't just swim because I liked being in the water. It was the whole ritual. And I'm getting it back in small stages. You know, training with an actual team, having my appointments with Paige, eating pizza with you…"

"Speaking of…" Hanna trailed off, wiping the corners of her mouth with a napkin before continuing. "How is your favorite physician? Should I start referring to her as McDreamy or McSteamy now that I know what you guys have been up to?"

"Neither. I don't even know what you're referring to now. And McCullers is fine. Or just Paige," she caught herself blushing, thinking about the the time that they had spent together that week. Paige sleeping so soundly on the couch, her chest rising and falling, ever so slowly. Her breath so close that she could feel it. She rubbed her eyes in a harshly, trying to focus on the person that was in front of her. "Like I said, Paige is fine. She got her cast taken off two days ago and it doesn't seem that the fall had any enduring effect on her arm. She's been working overtime for the last couple of days because she wasn't able to do any appointments with the cast on."

"That's all well and good," Hanna said with a smug look on her face. "But that's not the info I was digging for. What's the situation with the two of you now that you're back? Back in Rosewood it looked like the past six years hadn't even happened. And you have been staying over at her house an awful lot."

"Well, I did that to assist her. I feel awful about what happened and I wanted to be there for her."

"But you're not going to tell me that all of the sudden you don't feel anything for her?"

"No. I do. It's not that. It's just…" Emily bit her lip, words threatening to spill out that she wasn't sure that she wanted Hanna to hear. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to admit them to herself. "...I'm not sure that she feels the same way about me."

"Oh boy, here we go," Hanna said, sighing. "I didn't want to be the one to break this to you Em, but when it comes to certain things you have sort of had it too easy."

"What do you mean 'easy'?" Emily asked, reminding herself that this was Hanna and that she'd have to give her more time to explain before she jumped down her throat.

"In the dating department. That is after you fell out of the closet and stopped obsessing about Ali," Hanna said, her look saying everything that needed to be said about that whole ordeal. "You're used to people walking over fire to be with you. You've almost had to beat them away with a stick. And McCullers. Don't even get me started on her. Back in high school she thought you walked on water. She was always the one that was leaning in, chasing you, waiting for you. She endured your friends accusing her of being a stalker, Ali coming back to Rosewood and you hiding like a bazillion things from her. She even pursued you again after you left her hanging that time before Thanksgiving, when you told me she just kissed you smack right in the middle of school after that Movie Noir night thing, remember?"

"And you think she doesn't feel like that anymore?" Emily asked, feeling discouraged.

"What I mean is that she used to have stars in her eyes for you Em. We were kids, we had nothing to compare things to. But now you've both gotten out of Rosewood, you know, seen the world. She might not be so eager to run after someone anymore that she isn't sure isn't just going to leave her hanging again."

"So, what do you suppose I should do?" Emily asked, the realization that Paige's admiration of her during their teenage years might have made her miss the fact that Emily didn't always treat her like she should have sinking, like cement, to the pit of her stomach.

"You do what any regular person does that isn't used to being worshipped like a goddess," Hanna said. "You actually put yourself out there. Pursue her."

"And what if she doesn't want me back?"

"You sound like such a teenager," Hanna said, rolling her eyes. "Then you face the fact that for once in your life you actually got rejected and are free to move on. You can't keep on hanging onto something that might or might not happen Em. What are you hoping for, a mind reader?"

"Since when did you get so good at giving relationship advice?" Emily asked after a hefty silence.

"The only way you get good at anything," Hanna answered. "Lots of trial and error. You want to get dessert?"

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Paige was fast asleep by the time she heard the phone ring. She rolled out of the couch, cursing the offending position that she had been laying in and reached for her cell phone.

"Hey," the voice on the other end sounded small and mousy.

"Emily. Hey, what's up?" Paige said, clearing her throat in order to sound a little less hoarse.

"I'm fine. I didn't wake you did I?"

"Well, you sort of did," Paige said, realizing that she would not be able to hide the grogginess of her voice from the other woman. "But you did me a favor actually. I had fallen asleep on the couch. I was watching some nonsense of a late night show."

This was a lie, she berated herself, but it was one that was more believable than the idea that she hadn't just been woken up. The truth was that after waking up that Saturday morning, feeling the steady breathing of the Emily that was fast asleep underneath her, wrapping her in a tight bear hug, she didn't find the idea of sleeping in her own bed alone so appealing anymore. And after Emily went back to sleeping at her own place as she had so heroically suggested she had started opting for spending her nights on the couch, channel surfing until sleep overtook her. When she suggested that Emily stopped sleeping on her couch, she had another bed in mind for her, but she would have been overstepping by suggesting that and she knew it. So with discretion being the better part of valour she had regretfully kept her tongue behind her teeth.

"Did the line go out?" she heard the other woman ask and she focused back on the conversation.

"I'm sorry. Did you say anything? Is something wrong? Are you nervous about the race tomorrow?"

"No, no, nothing like that. Everything is going according to ritual. I just came back from having dinner with Hanna."

"She never misses a chance to carbo load with you before your meets does she?"

"Not now, not ever I think," she heard a smile on the other end of the line. "Anyway. There was something that I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure. Go ahead. I'm all yours."

"Paige. When we were, you know, together back in high school, did you ever feel like I was treating you in a less than ideal manner?"

"Where is this coming from Em?"

"I was just thinking. I'm not the same person that I used to be back then and I might have gotten a different perspective to some of the ways that I used to be like."

"None of us are the way we used to be when we were younger."

"That's true. But it's just… you were always so great with me and you always took my side and stuck by me, even though at times I was such a complete mess."

"You were a mess sometimes. But you were my mess," Paige said, catching herself thinking "a hot mess!" and smiling fondly at the memory before continuing. "Look Em, we all said and did things when we were kids that we would never repeat now that we're all grown up."

"That's true. But I wanted to tell you, that whatever I did and said that was unfair to you, you didn't deserve it. Not now and not then. Because you deserve the best of everything. I just wanted to get that off of my chest."

"It's good that you did. You don't want anything distracting you tomorrow. You need all your concentration for that race. I'll know because I'll be watching."

"I should probably go to sleep then. Sorry about calling you so late."

"Don't worry about it. See you tomorrow."

"I will. Sleep well."

"I will. And oh Em, one more thing…."

"What?"

"Thanks."


	49. Chapter 49: Back in the Water

There seemed to be somewhat of a rift between what Emily was sensed when it came to what was going to take place that weekend and what she was actually feeling. Logically she was very well aware of the fact that she was competing in her first official swimming match for Pepperdine University. She had packed her bag carefully the night before like she always did, making a military styled inventory check to make sure that everything was where it was suppose to be, checking off the mental list that she had perfected many years before. Her Ipod which she had double checked that was charged was playing her heat up songs as she did her stretches and tried desperately to get her head in the game. The captain's speech had been inspiring and hit all the right notes judging from the ambitious expressions she saw glancing at her new teammates and she had taken every precaution to make sure that her shoulder was well heated up and ready for the sprint. Yet there seemed to be a step that was missing, something that she was unable to put her finger on. As she strode around on the banks she saw a commotion in the audience, which unlike during the qualification match was crowded, and swore that she could see a familiar color scheme.

"Paige?" she said and the other woman turned around and lit up when she saw her.

Emily ran up to her and without thinking hugged her close:

"I was afraid you weren't going to come."

"Are you kidding me? Of course I was going to come. I was just looking for Hanna and Ollie so I could join them in cheering. You kind of caught me red handed."

"They're in the other corner of the stands with Cat and Caleb. Hanna said she wanted to see when I do the water somersault" Emily said, rolling her eyes when she thought about how the blonde had loudly elaborated what she thought happened once the swimmers turned around in the water. She noticed that the auburn haired woman was wearing a blue sweatshirt, which she assumed was a reference to the Pepperdine colors, but when she looked closer she noticed that the color was a little too dark and that there was a different emblem on the chest.

"I didn't know you still had that," she remarked, earning an awkward shrug from the other woman.

"I kept it, for the fond memories, you know? Anyways, I woke up and felt bad that I didn't have the correct sweater to cheer you on in. I only had the Stanford one and I doubt that it would have been well received. But then I remembered this. And of course everyone will look at it without noticing the emblem and assume that it's from Pepperdine because usually…"

"...people see what the want to see," Emily finished her sentence.

"Yeah. But you won't. Because you'll know. So I'm like your secret agent," Paige said and gave her a mischievous smirk. "Once a Shark always a Shark right?"

"Always," Emily said and returned her smile. Warmth flooded through her and she felt how her heart had started to beat faster during the interaction.

"Anyway, I won't keep you any longer. I'll go join the others and let you get back to your warmup. Go, get in your _zone._ "

Paige stuck her hands in her pockets and walked away to the other end of the swimming lanes and Emily turned around to approach her teammates. _Get in her zone._ Ironically it was Paige's presence, her awkward attempts to be sneaky and the little secret that they now shared which had been the final frontier that she needed to cross and finally feel like this was it. She was in her zone, going into the water, doing what she knew best how to do with the whole world watching. And Paige. Which meant that as of this moment she was in it to win it.

The swimmers were signaled to take their positions and Emily got into the back of the line, ready to swim her signature anchor sprint. When around half of her teammates had finished she heard a hopeful "Go Emily!" and smiled as she recognized Hanna's oblivious cheer. At this moment whoever was sitting next to her on the stands was probably informing her that her friend wasn't in the water yet. With her last teammate diving into the pool she turned her head slightly to catch the blonde out in the corner of her eye. She had Caleb on the left side, his arm slung casually over her shoulder and Cat and Ollie were cozied up on her far right. But speaking to her from the lower bench was Paige, no doubt explaining yet again that Emily's role was to close the race and that she wasn't up yet. The auburn haired woman looked up, clearly aware that Emily's gaze was fixed on her. She was about to turn away, embarrassed for having fixated on her like such a goober, but Paige looked at her with such reassurance, smiling slightly and nodding her head towards her. All though silent, the message was loud and clear:  
"You got this. I know you do."

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Emily was felt like she was walking on air as she strode inside the locker room. As she turned around to head into the showers after having grabbed her towel she ran into somebody and jumped instinctively back.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," Grace said and put her hands up.

"Don't worry. I'm just a little bit jumpy these days," Emily responded, feeling relief wash over her as she took note of the familiar face. "I'm just heading to the showers."

"I can see that. Most of the team is gone already I'm afraid."

"Yeah. Hanna got a hold of me after the match and had to clue me in on some very important facts about my swim."

"I see. Does she know a lot about swimming?"

"No. She just has a lot of opinions. And isn't shy to voice them."

"I know the type," Grace said and laughed. "Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you again for your performance."

"I merely maintained our lead."

"And that's what we needed to secure a win. It was no easy feat. I know their anchor. She's a fighter. I should be going. I'll see you on Monday, no excuses, even though we did well today. Don't you start slacking Fields!"

And with that she was out. Emily hurried taking a shower, knowing that there were people waiting for her. As she approached her locker again she heard voices coming from the hallway next to the changing rooms and against her better judgement she snuck up to the door to get within earshot of them.

"So, what's been up with you lately McCullers?" a voice that Emily recognized as Grace enquired.

"Nothing much. Just working on my doctorate. Got a great apprenticeship gig close to here and I was really lucky that Stanford accepted my request to do a year exchange here at Pepperdine."

"Luck had nothing to do with it. I'm sure it was all you. Did you leave any broken hearts behind?"

"No, nothing like that."

"So, I'm assuming that there is no Miss McCullers to speak of."

"Not really no." Emily could just picture Paige dipping her head with that admission, and as true as it might be, it still stung.

"Chasing after something you can't have? I know the feeling."

"Not sure that I'd put it that way. It's complicated…"

"It usually is. Did you bring out that old thing to rub my nose in it?"

"Not exactly. But that's a nice byproduct." There was growing cheekiness in Paige's voice as she said that. "There was someone competing on your team… she used to be a Shark too."

"It's the Fields girl isn't it? Wherever did she come from? I don't remember seeing her compete with you guys back in Rosewood."

"She used to. But she got injured during our senior year."

"That's a bummer. It makes you miss all the scouts. But she seems all better now. It's great to have her on the team. Thanks for the recommendation to coach Fulton."

"It was my pleasure, really."

"I should really get this," Grace said as a phone buzzed loudly. "It was great catching up with you McCullers."

"You too. Bye."

Emily wanted to leap out of her hiding spot right away but knew better and forced herself to take a seat on the bench behind her, steadying her breath and ingesting the information that she had just come across. She counted to one hundred Missisippis and then and only then did she get back up again and exit the locker room. Paige was still waiting in the corridor, back against the wall and looking absent mindedly at her cell phone. When she heard the commotion she looked up and smiled as she saw Emily emerging.

"Hey there," Paige said. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yup," Emily said, trying desperately to act casual. "Where are the others?"

"They already went to the restaurant. Hanna said that she had reserved a table for the six of us. I promised that I would bring you as soon as you were done changing."

"I can't believe she did that before she knew how the tournament turned out."

"She said something about us either needing to raise a glass to celebrate or to help you drown your sorrow."

"That's so typical Hanna," Emily said and smiled. "I'm sure she just wanted to try the place out and needed an occasion for it."

"Yeah. But she said it's her treat so…" Paige said and shrugged.

Emily copied her movements and they stood slack, opposing one another for a while. The conversation that she had heard was still playing in her head and the question of what that whole thing was about was at the edge of her teeth but she was unsure how to approach it in a respectful manner. Suddenly her phone beeped and broke the awkward silence.

 **From: Hanna**

 **To: Emily**

 **Where are you guys? It's half past I'm hungry!**

"We better get going," Paige said.

"Yeah we better should," Emily mumbled and picked up her bag.

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Emily turned around in bed for what must have been the hundredth time that night. The early dinner turned into drinks which then ended up with the whole gang going to a movie that she had mentioned being interested in. She sighed and rubbed her face when she thought about it. It had been very obvious that Hanna was pulling out all the stops to try to make her feel special because of her victory but she could not stop herself from being absent minded the entire night, playing the conversation that she had overheard over and over in her head. She had even abstained from having a celebratory drink, sticking to her glass of cola which she had spent half of the meal gazing into while the others made conversation about their jobs, their Christmas vacation and school. Ollie and Cat had disclosed that they had actually spent the vacation together visiting Ollie's parents, but omitting the reason why Cat was free from any family obligations during the holidays. Hearing how her friend seemed to have opened so completely up to her, especially knowing that he too probably knew how lonely it must have gotten for her during the holidays when Paige wasn't there to spend time with. It made her feel a little less guilty for having hogged Paige so much in the last couple of months.

Emily groaned loudly and got up from the bed. She got a good look at herself in the mirror that hung on the sliding door of her closet. A worried, foreign looking creature looked at her back.

"You're not helping anyone keeping this all in," she told herself as she approached her mirrored image. And it was true. She wasn't helping herself. And she was probably hurting everyone around her. Hanna tried to do something special for her and she just acted like a wet blanket the entire evening. And Paige was probably wondering what was wrong with her too. She was worrying the people that were only trying to help her because they cared for her.

"This is enough," she said and grabbed her phone off the bedside table, scuffling around in the dark to find her clothes. Once she had pulled a sweater over her head she noticed that the red fluorescent lights of her alarm clock showed that it was a little after midnight. She stopped dead in her track, biting her lip and considering the pros and cons of what she was about to do. The buses were not running this late at night and she really didn't have money to splurge on a cab.

"Oh to heck with it," she said, grabbing her jacket along with a black hat. It looked like it was about to rain.

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Paige rubbed her eyes and let out a large yawn. Just as she was pulling a sweater over her head her doorbell rung. Buzzing in she could not stop her heart from skipping a beat and then pulling in a few extra. She turned around and headed into the kitchen.

Once Emily was in the apartment she had already come out again, a tall glass of water in one hand and an alka-seltzer in the other.

"What is this?" Emily remarked once she saw the contents of her hand.

"It's nothing," Paige answered, before mumbling: "Force of habit."

"Did you get the text I sent you?"

"About the fact that you were "popping over"?" Paige asked, making air quotes with her statement. "Yeah. If not I would be in my pajamas right now."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just… I don't know how to… You know… Forget it. This was a dumb idea anyway…" Emily said, turning her head away.

"Hey Em, come on, what's going on?" Paige asked, leaning in to get a better look at the other woman. She noticed a trickle of sweat leaking down her forehead. "Did you bike here? Em, are you… are you drunk?"

"No!" Emily exclaimed. "You were with me tonight. I was bone dry. I didn't want to… It would have just made me mess things up again."

"Okay, that's good. But do you want to tell me what this is all about?"

"I overheard your conversation with Grace," Emily blurted out. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. It was just that you were there and I was there and I just… I couldn't help it."

"Oh Em, that must have been so uncomfortable for you," Paige said, putting the glass and the alka-seltzer down on the table. "I wasn't sure if I should have told you about our history. I mean, it's not exactly history. We went on one date way back in the day but it never really worked out. We figured that we worked better as friends. And rivals once she got into Pepperdine once she got back from her gap year."

"No, no it wasn't that," Emily said, before looking up. "Wait, you have history with Grace? No okay, nevermind. Moving on now. Grace said something about you having recommended me to Coach Fulton. He approached me before I ever went to that physical therapy practice. And before I had that reunion with you in the elevator."

"Oh jeez," Paige said, this time being the one that looked down. She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, desperately searching for a way to explain herself. Finally she decided that the best thing to go with was just the truth. "I saw you once, when I was going for my swims. You looked so… lost and alone somehow. You once told me back when we were together, after you got injured that you weren't sure if you could ever be that girl that just sat on the bleachers and watched me compete. But that day, when I saw you I couldn't help to think that even without watching me compete in some ways you were already that girl. And I just knew that you needed someone that would push you to become more like yourself again. But I also knew that it couldn't be me because I know that me pushing to fix everything was the thing that pushed us apart to begin with. So I tipped Coach Fulton off that you were visiting the pool when it was empty. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I was butting in and it wasn't my place."

The silence that came after she had finished her monologue was excruciating. All she wanted was just for Emily to show a reaction, any reaction really. Get offended, storm out, it didn't really matter. As long as it would break up this icy silence that was actively setting her teeth on edge. After what seemed eternity she looked up, meeting the other woman's eyes, noticing that her mouth was forming into a question:

"So, you were ready to do all that for me without knowing if you'd ever see me again?"

"Well yeah," Paige said. "I didn't really know that Coach Fulton would refer you to the practice I'm interning at. But then I was on my way to work that day and I remember that I should have been there a little later because I knew that doctor Rolandsson was sick so I decided to sleep in a little. But then there was no traffic and I showed up kind of early for a day that I had decided to show up late for. And well, there you were."

"So, why did you do it?"

"Because you were right all those years ago Em. You deserve to be more than the girl sitting at the bleachers. You really do. And not just so we could go to university together and not get torn apart by distance like we did. But because this, what you just did in the water today, how you were so completely and utterly in your element, that is who you are."

"Is that why you wore that sweater today? To remind me of how I used to be?"

"No. I did it to remind you of who you are."

"You're still wearing it now," Emily remarked, probably to avoid the awkward silence that was looming threateningly over them once again.

"Well yeah," Paige said, omitting that she had just grabbed the first thing that was on her chair, which was what she had been wearing earlier that day. "Once a Shark…"

"...always a shark," Emily finished for her.

Silence stretched between them once again and Paige wondered if she had yet again messed things up for herself by being bossy. She gnawed at her lip and was about to raise her head and open her mouth to say something, anything really, that had clawed her way out of this pit that her own impulsive nature had left her in. But she never got the first word out because as her eyes met Emily's the other woman suddenly moved and like a confident swimmer diving into the water she grabbed both of Paige's upper arms and dragged her into a searing kiss. Paige returned the embrace with gusto and she felt how they started slowly pivoting to the other room. She felt her elbow touching glass and heard a loud thunk which was followed by a splashing sound. She should have picked it up, made sure that it wasn't making a mess on her carpet but she didn't, because all she could think about was the fact that Emily was there with her, at that moment, kissing her and this time it felt so completely and utterly right.

The glass that had fallen to the floor proceeded to spill water all over the carpet and with the two alka-seltzer having been knocked over at the same time, it slowly started to form into a white, bubbling froth that bloomed in the middle of the soft fabric. It would however not get cleaned up that day. And not the day after that either. For its owner seemed to be much too busy to ever bother walking across her own living room.

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Emily's phone rang and she felt slight panic as she saw the profile photo of her blonde friend on the screen.

"Hey, Hanna, I was just about to call you," she straight up lied, berating herself for having lost track of time.

"Em, I can spot a lie when I hear one," the blonde answered cheekily. "Did you forget about the fact that we were going to have breakfast together. Caleb just left for this work conference so I'm up and already super hungry."

"Could we maybe push it to a lunch date instead?" Emily asked, hearing her friend groan on the other end. "Okay. Brunch? I'm sorry. I just got really caught up in something."

"Fine. Brunch it is. But I get to pick the place," Hanna responded, already cheering up. "I'll text you the details. Be there at 12?"

"You got it," Emily said and hung up.

She put her phone back on the desk and slipped back into the bed. A sleepy Paige groaned and turned towards her as the raven haired woman pulled her in close:

"Jeez, since when did Hanna wake up so early?"

"It's not that early," Emily remarked. "It's almost eleven."

"Wow, it is?" Paige asked. "We slept for that long?"

"Not really. We didn't go to sleep until super late last night."

"Yeah. But we went to bed early," Paige remarked, smirking.

Emily giggled and reached in to kiss the cheeky smile of her face. She squeezed the other woman tighter and let out a sigh:  
"I wish we could just stay like this forever."

"Me too. But the world won't just stop moving Em. You have brunch dates to attend. Trainings to crush and a semester to finish with a bang so you can get that sweet sweet diploma."

"Hey, don't you have things to do too."

"Well, I have an internship to attend to. And stalkers to catch."

"Ugh, I was so deeply hoping that they had just disappeared."

"Guess again," Paige said and gestured towards a manilla envelope on her desk which Emily had previously ignored. "And they have demands now."

"When did you get it?"

"I found it in my post box once I got home from the celebration last night. I was going to tell you when you came by last night but… other things got in the way," Paige said and the smile returned on her face.

"Well, we need to do something about it," Emily said, worried. "We need to get ahead. Just like Mona told us to do."

"We do, and we will. But now we have other things to that we need to do. Like going to brunch with Hanna Marin."

"Are you coming with me?" Emily asked. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I want you there but I didn't want to ask in case it made you uncomfortable."

"Emily, if we are to do this right we need to be honest to the people around us," Paige said before leaning in for a kiss. "No more secrets. I don't want this stalker person or anyone for that matter to get the idea that I'm trying to hide the fact that we are together."

"Really?" Emily asked, not really believing the words that she was hearing, even when she had wished for them for so long.

"Yes, really," Paige said and looked deep into her eyes. "Whatever comes, we'll face it together. Now come on. Let's go watch Hanna Marin order half of the entire brunch menu."

 **Author's Notes I: First of all I'd like to apologize for having taken forever to update. I have been writing this chapter on and off for the better part of two weeks now. The first reason why I wasn't able to finish it earlier is because March has been crazy for me travel wise. This is the first weekend this month that I get to spend in my own home, I kid you not. Secondly I kept on writing and rewriting the final parts of it in my head. Since it's such a turning point in the entire story I wanted to get it done well and I guess that some secret perfectionist took over me. But I hope that you liked it since I know that this (the whole road to redemption and reconciliation) is something that is very important to many members of the Paily community and I hope that I did it justice.**

 **Author's Notes II: In case some of you have read my One Shot "That Simple" and are wondering, I'll just clarify it right here: yes, Grace is a reoccurring character that originally appeared in that story and I've always pictured those two stories as interconnected. But not to worry, you don't need to read that story in order to understand this one. But in case you are curious about what role Grace played in the whole Paily-story, I recommend that you check it out. Once again thank you for reading my story and know that I read and appreciate all the reviews and opinions that you give me on it.**


	50. Chapter 50: Enticement

Emily exited Paige's car, slowly, feeling the suffocating tension inside, so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Paige came right after her; face stone cold and emotionless as she fumbled with locking the car. As the date which Paige's stalker demanded a meeting had moved closer, the tension between the two of them had mounted.

"Just say it Em," Paige said drily, not looking up.

Emily bit her lip, looking around. It wasn't wise to get into it. Not here, out in the open where prying eyes could be anywhere. But she couldn't hold it in anymore. It was now or never:

"I don't think you should go."

"I don't think I have a choice anymore."

"You always have a choice."

"And what choice would that be? To live the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders?"

"It's better than giving in to their demands."

"Why? How could whatever they want from me be any worse than not knowing?"

"It just is," Emily said, her voice breaking. "I know. Every time that we played into A's games back in Rosewood, things would get worse for us. Playing along won't cut you loose, it will suck you further into their web."

"I have to try Em," Paige said, still not daring to look up. "It's the only way."

"If that's what you think then I'm afraid that we can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"See each other Paige."

"What are you saying?"

"Goodbye."

"Em. Come back here. Em, please."

"Goodbye Paige," Emily said, walking into the night, not turning around even once for she knew what she would see: Paige, once again, with the shards of her broken heart shining from her tearful eyes.

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 _Three weeks earlier:_

 _Hanna was surprised when she turned around to greet Emily, finding that her raven haired friend was not alone but instead holding hands with one positively beaming Paige McCullers._

 _"Hello Hanna," Paige said, trying confidently to break the ice._

 _"Hey Paige, Emily," Hanna said, nodding to acknowledge the two women, her expression seemingly puzzled._

 _"I see you got started without us," Emily said, nodding towards the juice glass and half-eaten Danish on the table in front of the blond._

 _"I got here early," Hanna said, shrugging._

 _"Now that's something for the history books," Emily said smirking. "We should probably get started on some coffee then."_

 _"I'll get it," Paige said, clasping her hands together. "Large Americano right?"_

 _"Always," Emily responded. She instinctively dipped her head forward and planted a small peck on Paige's lips, who responded with a small hum and a smile before heading for the counter._

 _Emily sat down facing her friend, not even attempting to cover up her smile._

 _"So, tell me everything," Hanna said, nudging Emily on the shoulder. "Since when has this been happening?"_

 _"Well…"_

 _"Don't tell me that this was already a thing when I read you the riot act a couple of days ago?"_

 _"No, no. In fact, it just kind of finally clicked last night after I got home from meeting with you guys."_

 _"So I'm the first to get the news?" Hanna asked, positively elated by the idea._

 _"I guess you are," Emily responded._

 _"So no more skulking around?"_

 _"No. No more skulking. No more secrets. I want to get things right this time," Emily looked around and leaned closer in. "And for that I think that I might need your help."_

 _"It's not every day that I get to help," Hanna said. "I feel like you should have phoned up Spencer in order to do that."_

 _"There is more to helping people than knowing how to do equations," Emily said, grabbing Hanna's hand. "You keep me honest Hanna. I would have never gotten here without you. We wouldn't be here without you."_

 _"Am I interrupting something here?" Paige's voice came from behind them. She appeared next to the two friends holding two cups of coffee._

 _"No, not at all," Hanna said, brusquely standing up and pulling Emily to her feet as well. Her eyes darted between the two girls and suddenly started to water._

 _"Hanna," Emily said, her eyebrow shooting up to a worried expression. "Is there something wrong?"_

 _"No. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm getting so emotional all of a sudden. I'm just so... happy for the two of you. Come here," she said, grabbing the two of them and squeezing tight._

 _"Wow. I'm not sure that I've ever met this Hanna before," Paige said, patting the blonde on the back. "But I kind of like her."_

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Emily walked absent mindedly out of school. It had been a almost a week since she had left Paige standing alone in the parking lot next to her house and in that time she had not heard a word from the auburn haired woman. This evening marked the time that she was suppose to meet with the mystery sender, which had been the reason for why the two of them weren't talking to one another. She fiddled with her phone anxiously, wanting nothing more than to hit her up, but managed to control herself.

"Emily, hey," Ollie came running from the main building. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Emily responded, not ever bothering to return the question.

"I haven't seen much of you in the last couple of days. How is Paige?"

"She is… I think she's fine…. Sorry Ollie but I really have to go."

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Emily had entered into an odd part of town, one she didn't know. She had jumped into the first bus that arrived after leaving Ollie standing in front of the university. She had switched several times, each time getting further and further away from everything she recognized. Her mind was jittery, her nerves frayed. Wherever she was heading was far away from where she had usually been. And far away from Paige.

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 _Two weeks earlier_

 _Paige pressed the green button on her screen, and was greeted by Mona's usual concentrated face._

 _"Hello there Paige. Emily. Aren't the two of you spending an awful lot of time together as of lately."_

 _"Did you call us to write a sonnet or to help?" Emily asked before seeing Paige's expression and deciding to soften up. "But yes, since you were asking, we have started seeing each other. Officially this time."_

 _"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Mona said. "It's always satisfying when a scheme comes to fruition. Has your research turned anything more up?"_

 _"No, nada, nothing," Emily answered. "I looked through the book that Aria sent me. It mentions the characters whose name is used in the letters. But apart from that it hasn't been really helpful."_

 _"And the date is approaching," Paige remarked. "And I'm afraid that they are going to pull something even more drastic than they have before if I fail to show up."_

 _"Do either of you by any chance know what enticement is?" Mona's face was lit up. She was enjoying this._

 _Paige shook her head, and Emily knowing the dark haired woman all too well rolled her eyes before responding:_

 _"No. But my guess is that you are going to explain it meticulously to us."_

 _"Enticement comes from the verb of enticing which means to lead on by exciting hope or desire."_

 _"This is something that only you would appreciate," Emily said._

 _"Thanks for the vocabulary lesson Mona," Paige said, trying to keep the spirits light. "But what does that have to do with this particular case."_

 _"In chess, enticement is a popular act. It's done by making the other person give up a favorable position or lose points by doing something that you have led them into believing is a good idea."_

 _"So, a trap?" Emily asked._

 _"Essentially yes, but not quite. To lay a trap is simply to put something up that your opponent might or might not walk into. By performing an enticement you are using their own sentiments against them. Because to successfully entice someone you need to make them think that you have lost control and that they are on top. A person only turns a blind eye when they think that the opponent is the one that has gotten desperate. Laying a trap is something that takes skill, but ultimately anyone can do. But to assure the person that it's a good idea to stick their leg into the noose, that is another thing entirely. An art form if you may. And one that I am particularly skilled in. So, you better pay close attention to what I'm about to tell you."_

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Emily noticed a familiar face inside a rental car that was parking beside her in the abandoned lot and wasted no time jumping inside.

"I thought you weren't going to find me," Emily said. "I was afraid that I had even lost myself around here."

"Well, I might have gotten a little lost but the coordinates that you gave me were still good for it. But the dealership only had a stick to rent me. Driving those is another story entirely." Hanna remarked before turning to face Emily. "Are you ready for this?"

"I'm more than ready," Emily responded, buckling up. "I didn't spend the last two hours bus hopping to the middle of nowhere for the fun of it. Let's go."

"Okay then," Hanna said and geared up, staring in front of her like she was eyeing an unseen target. "Game on, bitch!"


	51. Chapter 51: Home

Paige quickened her step as she closed in on the location that her last correspondent with the mysterious stalker had instructed her to show up at. There was sweat forming on her forehead already, her bomber jacket not really suitable for the warm weather. She chuckled to herself. Emily would definitely have had a thing or two to say about her choice of overcoat. But Em hadn't been there when she had left her apartment. In fact, she hadn't been there for more than a week, the reminder stinging like pins and needles in her heart. It was funny how life worked that way. Because it had been almost seven years now. Seven years since she took her bag and left Rosewood and Emily for what she thought was for good. It had been less than half a year since she had almost miraculously reappeared in her life. But despite that, she had sometimes had to stop to remind herself that they hadn't seen each other for years and that a lot could change during that time, because from the moment that Emily had taken her for that bike ride, she felt like no time had passed at all. And what she had told her about her relationship status in the past years had been the truth: there had been occasional dates but nobody that she had felt like keeping around.

Paige got to the location but after having taken a look around she deducted that she was alone on the lonely little garden square. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it up to find a new anonymous message:  
 **There are further instructions on a note taped underneath the trashcan next to the bench. Retrieve them and follow thoroughly. However, your cellphone is not coming with you. Pull the battery and sim card from it and leave it on the park bench. If you don't do this, I will know.**

"Well, whatever you say," she said, fishing the note up and preparing to disassemble her phone.

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" _Whoever this is, they will probably be on high alert after almost getting caught by you and Emily," Cat said, staring intensely at her computer screen. "They will take every precaution to make sure that you aren't being tracked by someone."_

" _Meaning what?" Paige asked, throwing her hands up in the air in mock surrender. However there was some sort of truth behind the gesture. She didn't appreciate all these games. Growing up, she had had enough of secrets and lies to last her a lifetime._

" _It means that they will probably not allow you to bring your phone when you meet up with them."_

" _But I need someone to know where I am. I could be walking into a trap for all I know."_

" _I know. I bounced some ideas off of Caleb the other day. What? We started talking after that celebration dinner that Hanna threw for Emily. We run in the same circles, professionally that is. He's kind of smart," she shrugged. "Fortunately, I am smarter is why I thought of nabbing this."_

 _The blonde unveiled a small chip sitting in the palm of her hand, no bigger than the nail on her little finger:_

" _It's a tracking device but they won't think to look for it. It's small enough to fit behind a button on your shirt."_

" _That can't have come cheap," Paige said, looking at the almost indetectable chip._

" _It didn't. Which is fine because I'm not paying for it."_

" _Cat, you could get in trouble for this!"_

" _Relax. We're using it in a project that I'm in charge of and I know for a fact that we won't be needing it until next month."_

" _You don't have to do this."_

" _But I do. Because you're my best friend. And you're in trouble. When this whole thing started out…"_

" _I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away."_

" _You had your reasons. I had already moved away when it started. I don't see this as a conversation that you could have over facetime."_

" _I honestly thought it would all be over when I transfered. And then these letters started coming again. And I thought that if I would tell you…"_

" _...then they would find a way to hurt me, right?"_

" _I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if that had happened. Not after what happened after graduation."_

" _Paige, that wasn't your fault."_

" _I should have seen it coming. I should have been able to do something sooner."_

 _"Nobody saw it coming. He seemed like such a nice guy. And once you found out you risked your future to smack him into next Sunday."_

 _"Are you doing all of this to pay me back for that?"_

 _"No. I'm doing this because you're my friend. And this is what friends do. You and Emily deserve to be happy Paige. Not looking over your shoulders for the rest of your lives."_

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Paige double checked the street sign to make sure she was standing at the right crosswalk. It was a quiet part of town and she was mostly surrounded by silent, industrial housing, deserted at this time of night. A wind blew across her face and it cooled down her sweaty forehead, sending a shiver down her spine. She combed the hair out of her face, thinking back to what it was that had changed so drastically for her in the last couple of months.

When she was in college she had grown used to her first roommate and once Cat had moved into her dorm instead she found that even more accommodating. And once she went back to her parents for Christmas vacation she knew that learning to share the family home with her baby brother wouldn't be a problem since she absolutely adored him. But once she started her postgraduate she had moved out of her dorms and into a small apartment on College Avenue. The three years she had spent there had been nice, but once she got her year at Pepperdine accepted she was surprised to find how easy it was to pack her bags and move away. She told herself that part of that had to do with the fact that she would be reunited with her best friend, which was probably true. And the fact that once her stuff was all moved in, she found her new apartment to be very similar to the old; filled with photographs of her friends and family and all her stuff neatly organized in the way that she preferred it. She was content with her life being alone, happy even.

Then Emily had come along, with her smiles and hair-flipping habits, her dark eyes and infecting laughter. And no matter how Paige had tried to fight it, she had felt herself falling for the raven haired woman, all over again. Even when she hadn't admitted it to herself, she had started to think that her bed suddenly felt too cold, her couch too big and that the very best cup of coffee that she had drunk in ages had been the one that she shared with her after the night that Emily had showed up drunk and disorderly at her place at a quarter after one. And this spring, once Emily had gone back to sleeping at her own place after having spent a week on the couch after Paige had gotten better from her injury, she had found herself missing her constant presence. Fortunately she had not been left wanting for too long and it had taken Emily less than a week to find herself spending her nights at her place again, but this time not on the couch.

It had happened so seamlessly that she hadn't even thought about how different her life had become in the following weeks. She was just lost in the blissfulness of it all, hoping that what she was feeling, no matter what it was, would never go away, It wasn't until now, that she had spent the last week in no contact with the raven haired woman, and was standing at the corner of a dark street, waiting for someone she didn't even know who was that it hit her. She had spent her adult life living in apartments. Bringing her own stuff there, her photos, her books, her meticulously organized wardrobe had made it into her apartment. But being there with Emily, debating over what to cook for dinner, joking about her towel usage, bringing her steaming cups of coffee to bed when she was groggy and not ready to face the day, that was what had made it into a home.

"Home," she muttered, smiling to herself, feeling like she could almost reach out and touch it.

She was pulled from her thoughts as a dark car pulled up next to her:  
"Get in."

 **Author's Notes: So, how does everyone feel about the premier tomorrow night? Excited? Worried? I'm happy that we get to see some Paily, but worried that the outcome might not be what I am wishing for. But for that we have fanfiction. Nevertheless I shall be tuning in.**

 **This chapter came as a sort of an extra because I felt like writing a small segment from Paige's point of view. I don't feel like I've shown enough what she feels about the recent development. Feel free to let me know what you think about it.**


	52. Chapter 52: Shadow Play

The red Kia pulled up to a bus stop, coming to a rather abrupt halt.

"You're right," Emily said, brushing sweat from her brow. "Driving a stick is an absolute nightmare."

"But you told me that you had driven one before," Hanna remarked.

"Yeah. My dad let me try out an army jeep once," Emily defended herself before adding: "He might have helped a bit with the gearing."

"But you're good now?" Hanna asked.

"Yes, Hanna. I'll be fine," Emily answered.

"I feel so sorry for not being able to come with you, it's just that…"

"Hanna, it's fine. You don't have to explain yourself. You've already done so much."

"It's not that. I don't just want to explain myself because of this. There is something that I have been meaning to tell you for ages, but I just haven't been able to find the words," Hanna said, looking down into her lap. "It might be a while until I can participate in your escapades again."

"What do you mean Han? Are you and Caleb moving again?" Emily asked puzzled.

"No. But our life's are about to change in a different way," Hanna said and looked up at Emily. "It wasn't just Ted's excellent cooking that made me bloated during Christmas. I'm pregnant."

"No friggin way!" Emily exclaimed, her jaw hanging slack. "How long have you known?"

"Well, I started being suspicious when we got back to Rosewood because I was late. So after taking a couple of pregnancy tests I decided to go to the hospital to get an official confirmation."

"That's why you were at the hospital when we ran into each other," Emily said, the puzzles finally coming together in her head. "Of course you were. You haven't gone for regular checkups since they gave us a lollipop at the end of the appointment. And you were so emotional when me and Paige told you about us seeing each other. You're tripping on pregnancy hormones."

"I meant to tell you Em. I really did," Hanna said apologetically. "But the doctor warned me and Caleb not to tell anyone during the first trimester since there is still a fairly high percentage of it not coming to term. But seeing that I'm due for September, me and the little bean have officially spent three months with each other, so the cat is out of the bag so to speak."

"Three months… That means that…" Emily's jaw dropped again and she turned towards her friend. "Hanna Marin. Did this occur after our 'escapade' at the gay club on my birthday?"

"That seems to be very likely," Hanna said. "What? I was feeling very cheerful that night."

Emily couldn't control herself and burst out laughing, gasping out words between heaps of giggles: "You-are-such-an-idiot-sometimes-Han."

"I'm glad that cheered you up," Hanna said, reaching for her seatbelt. "Now if you'll excuse me. I have to get my large, pregnant butt out of this car."

"Are you going to be okay out there?" Emily asked, indicating the street outside.

"I'll be fine Em. Caleb's picking me up in a bit. He thought it was quite silly that you were dropping me at the other end of town. Until I explained the plan to him that is."

"What did he say then?"

"That you had forgotten nothing since our days back in Rosewood."

"I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult. I'll see you around Han. Take care of yourself. And the bean."

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 _Ten days earlier:_

 _Emily snuck into the bedroom, cradling two steaming cups of coffee, careful not to wake the sleeping figure lying in the bed. She placed the cups on the nightstand before slipping back under the covers, cuddling against a sleepy looking Paige who was slowly stirring from her slumber._

 _"Morning," Emily said and gave the other woman a kiss._

 _"Hey there. You were up before me?" Paige asked before sniffing into the air. "And you made coffee for us?"_

 _"Yeah. You have always been so dutiful in waking me up with my daily fix so I thought I might return the favor. Here, take this."_

 _"You are amazing," Paige asked, accepting the cup that the other woman offered to her. "And you remembered what I take in my coffee. What have I done to deserve this?"_

 _"How could I forget that you take a little bit of hazelnut in your coffee?" Emily asked, picking her own cup up. "You used to be the only person that asked for those tiny packets at the Brew. We would have probably stopped ordering them if it hadn't been for you."_

 _"Yeah. I sometimes felt like I was being such a nuisance. And the packets used to be all the way back. It took me forever to find them sometimes. Wait," Paige stopped before taking a sip. "Did you have something to do with that?"_

 _"I might have," Emily admitted. "What? It was after that summer, when we were starting senior year. I wanted to talk to you but I just didn't know how."_

 _"So you decided to put the hazelnut syrup behind the counter?"_

 _"Well, that way you had to stay longer, and when I was working you actually had to come up to the counter and ask me for it. And you were so thankful every time that I would hand them to you."_

 _"You are quite sly, did you know that?"_

 _"You have no idea," Emily said and snuggled her closer._

 _They sipped their coffees for a while before Paige broke the silence:_

 _"What are you thinking about?"_

 _"What Mona said."_

 _"Obsessing about some chess move like that, it's just like her."_

 _"Except Paige, it isn't just a chess move. When she was playing games with us under the disguise of A we did something to her. I don't think I've told you before."_

 _"I'm listening," Paige said and looked intensely at the raven haired woman._

 _"During junior year we got into some trouble. Mona got us into it of course. We had a clash in with the police and were ordered to do community service."_

 _"I think I recall that. There were photos of you guys online wearing those dumb orange suit," Paige stopped herself from smirking. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking for them. But people were sending them all around school."_

 _"It's okay. I get it," Emily said._

 _"But what did you guys do?"_

 _"Well, we fought -a lot. There was a rift between me and the other girls because I kept pressing Spencer to make a deal with A, which was of course not something that she was okay with. We got into a public fight and had to do two extra weeks of community service. But I was convinced that we had to make a deal and if they weren't going to help me then I was going solo."_

 _"That doesn't really sound like you…"_

 _"Because it's not something that I would do. We were putting a show on. As long as Mona thought we were divided, she would consider us as less of a threat. So while we were conducting our little play publicly, she let her guard down."_

 _"So, did you catch her? I thought that you didn't manage to catch her until later, during the masquerade ball. I remember because…"_

 _"We met that night," Emily muttered. Out of all the things that had happened that night, turning around to find Paige and the conversation that had followed was one of the things that she recalled the most vividly. "And you're right. We didn't catch Mona that night. But we did manage to trap her and we almost caught her. We did manage to get her phone and it was the biggest breakthrough that we had gotten ever since that whole mess had started."_

 _"You are a truly brilliant woman Emily Fields," Paige said. "I'm impressed. But why are you telling me this?"_

 _"Because Paige, I think this is something that we need to do. The stalker isn't just pressing me against the wall along with you to get to you. They're doing it to push us apart. They know that we are stronger together."_

 _"What are you saying?"_

 _"I'm saying that if we're suppose to stand a chance, we need to convince them that there is no 'we' anymore."_

 _"Is this why you woke up early to make coffee for me? Is this your way of letting me down easy?" Paige asked, her eyes becoming glassy, that old shadow of insecurity sneaking across her face._

 _"Of course I'm not. But for this to work, they need to believe that I am letting you down. And it won't be easy. It needs to be brutal. And public."_

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Paige tried desperately to steady her breathing. She was sitting in the passenger seat of the car, yet she had not been able to get a good look at the driver.

"What are we waiting for? I've already told you, I'm in. You won. I've lost Emily, I've lost everything because of this."

"It's a familiar feeling," the hooded figure said. "It won't be long now."

"Look. I'll do anything you ask me to. I just want this to end."

"So do I. Believe you me."

Paige became silent again, the danger of the situation finally becoming clear to her. On the verge of panicking she thought back, finding solace in a familiar memory:

 _"I love you Paige. And I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."_

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Emily parked the car brusquely a couple of streets away from the place that the coordinates were coming from. She pulled on a dark cap, and pulled her hoodie up, zipping the sweater up to her chin. She adjusted the rearview mirror with her gloved hands and took one last look at herself. In the dark clothing her face was almost induistingable from the background in the low light of the evening. She got out of the car and walked closely to the high buildings, making sure that she kept away from the badly functioning lamp posts. Once she rounded the corner from where her phone was directing her towards, she saw a compact, white car parked in the middle of a junkyard. She couldn't see the face of the driver but she would have known the face of his passenger anywhere. Paige was sitting there, stiff like a board, trying desperately to put on a brave face but Emily felt a pang in her chest, knowing the turmoil that she must be feeling. She hunkered down, mapping down a hidden route that she could take to get to her target. Her hand tightened around the sharp object that she had double checked was in there before she got out of the car. The enticement had been put out and white had played its move. Now it was black's turn.

"Game on," she muttered to herself before vanishing into the darkness.


	53. Chapter 53: The Hunt

**Author's Note I: Sorry for having made you wait for such a long time. I have finally finished all my exams and papers and can thus write all the fanfiction I want without feeling guilty about the fact that I should be writing something else. With that being said, enjoy the new chapter.**

Emily squatted down next to an unrecognizable pile of trash. She slowly slid further down, letting the palms of her hand touch the ground, grateful for her leather gloves since it was covered in sharp metal. She leaned forward, ending up in a planking position with bent elbows, her face almost touching the ground. She turned her head slightly upwards, remarking that from the front seat of the car she was undetectable. And thus she slid her right quietly arm and leg forward before pulling her body forward, repeating the motion with her left side as she slithered closer to the car.

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" _What on earth are you doing Paige?" Emily asked, grinning into her morning coffee._

 _"What does it look like I'm doing?" Paige panted, sweat glistening down her face._

 _"It looks like you're climbing," Emily remarked. "But you're on the ground."_

 _"Well, sort of is. A horizontal climbers squat. It's a good exercise for your core. I learned it back in Stanford. Just doing a couple of sets these every morning seriously improved my technique."_

 _"It's like that millitary thing where they crawl under barbed wire?" Emily asked._

 _"Kind of. I guess. If they do it then it must be effective."_

 _"So why do you still do it?"_

 _"To keep in shape," Paige said, taking a rest kneeling down, looking up to Emily with a sort of a duh-expression. "Just because I'm not competing any more doesn't mean I still don't want to be able to kick your ass."_

 _"Okay, that's it. Scooch over," Emily said, whipping herself out of bed and pulling on a t-shirt._

 _"What are you doing?" Paige asked, puzzled but obliging._

 _"You're going to teach me that thing and I'm going to beat you in it."_

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"What was that?" the capped figure asked, turning their head brusquely.

"What was what?" Paige asked, trying to sound as clueless as possible, while being fully aware of what was making the noise.

"That noise. It was like a low clank. Don't lie to me. You heard it too." The figure was obviously becoming distressed, speaking more than strictly necessary.

"Yeah I think I heard it. Couldn't it have been a cat or something?"

"Doesn't matter. We will be going soon," the figure responded, getting ready to turn the key in the ignition.

"Please Emily. Please be quick," Paige silently prayed but couldn't help but to notice that the figure seemed to share some of her nervousness.

The car trembled back into life and as the figure shifted it into drive mode a sinking feeling washed over her: she had no way to know if their plan was going to work out and if it didn't she was on her way to an unknown place with someone who she had no idea of what was capable of. She thought back to something that she had told Emily when A was terrorizing her and her friends back in Rosewood:

" _Emily, you can trust me with your life."_

Trust wasn't a one way street, she argued to herself. She had asked Emily to trust her once when it was her safety that wasn't threatened. And now she was going to have to do the same, no matter how scary things might get. As the car started moving and was about to pull away into the streets again but once it had driven a couple of meters it came to a harsh stop, the whiplash jerking their bodies violently back and forth. Once they regained their senses she heard a bellow from the other person:

"What was that? What the hell are you playing at?"

As soon as Emily had secured that the hook, that she had strung on a patent wire, underneath the car, she went to work on the back tires, peppering them with small spikes. They weren't long enough to pierce them while the car was on standby but would start damaging them once it started moving. When she was finishing up with the second tire she was startled to hear the engine sounding, and knowing that she would not like to be near the wire once she tightened she pushed herself from the car and once the engine started revving she threw herself on the ground and made a barrel roll to the left. She heard the unsettling whine of the wire as it tensed rapidly. There was a loud squeak as the car came back to a screeching halt, almost bringing the lightpost down with it which Emily had tied the other end of the wire to. Emily turned to see that the impact had ripped a large part from from underneath the vehicle. She felt the success rush to her head and she scrambled to get to her feet:

"Got you!"

As she stood up she noticed that the driver had gotten out of the car and was walking briskly towards her, yelling angrily:  
"You! Do you have any idea what you have done?"

Emily tried seizing the figure, grabbing them by the shoulders, but they fought back with surprising strength, given their small size. They hooked their right leg behind Emily's left one and she went crashing to the ground, but their cap managed to fall off in the scuffle. A young looking person stared down on her, their blond hair sticking out in a short spiky cut, their hollow cheeks rosy in the cold night air.

"You're..." Emily stammered, trying to get her bearings, remembering the pictures in small book that she had leafed through once the packet from Aria had finally arrived."You're the little prince, aren't you?"

The person didn't respond to her question but didn't look like they were unfamiliar with the term either. But before they could react any further, Paige came crashing out of the car, looking like she had smashed her way through the window with a blunt object and unlocked it from the outside.

"No!" she yelled, and flame burning behind her eyes. "Don't you dare to touch her!"

Before the person could react, Paige had already brought her club back up and proceeded to strike the person in the shin. They dropped with a low wail and crumbled into a ball on the ground. Paige left them no time to regain their composure and approached, grabbing them by the back of the neck and pulling them up:

"Who are you? And what do you want from me?"

The person struggled, but as they were about to give up the fight, the three of them were distracted by a car that had just driven into the junkyard, blinding them with their headlights. The person used the element of surprise to their advantage, stabbing a sharp elbow into Paige's stomach who dropped them with a grunt. They landed with a cat like grace and proceeded to sprint away into the night. The car also made a quick retreat, driving out of the junkyard but in the opposite direction. Paige ran towards Emily and pulled her back to her feet:  
"We need to chase them down. Get to the car."

Once they had sprinted back to their own car it took them a couple of minutes to catch up with the person who was running at remarkable speed towards a busier crossroad. The two women had to stop at a red light and Paige got out of the car with the intention to running them down. The person paid no attention to the cars, sprinting straight into traffic, probably in the hopes of getting across and thus getting a head start. A horrifying screech followed by a crash proved that this had not been a good idea and the two women watched in horror as the small person was thrown across the hood of a green sedan and landed with a thud on the concrete. The driver of the car, a man in his sixties, exited the car, looking white as a ghost.

"They, they, they just came out of nowhere…"

A young woman whisked out of her car, approaching the scene of the accident:

"Sir, I'm a nurse. I need you to remain calm. Call 911."

Other cars had stopped and a small crowd was quickly forming around the scene of the accident. Emily got out of the car and proceeded to lead Paige back into it, in order to avoid them drawing attention to themselves. They watched in silence as an ambulance drove up to the scene and proceeded to drive away with a wail and blinking lights. Paige dropped her head, letting it rest on the glove compartment:

"What do we do now Em?"

"We follow."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know which hospital is the closest to here?"

"No."

"Okay then, find it on your phone. We need to get there as soon as possible. But first we need to make another stop," Emily said and punched a number into her phone. "Hi Han. It's me. Did you make it home okay? Great. Listen, did you keep that Candy Striper costume that you snatched all those years ago?"

 **Author's Note II: Here I will discuss PLL episode 7x14. So be warned. In this comment there be spoilers? So, what did everyone think? For my part first of all, that kiss, swoon. But what I found so wonderful about their entire interaction wasn't just the kiss, which was lovely, but how easy the conversation always seems to flow between my favorite Sharks. They have playful banter, tease and challenge each other, and their memories from their time together in California sound wonderful and it's bittersweet that we didn't get to see any of those moments, because they sound just picture perfect and really Paily (racing to solve decision making? So much like them). I know that there is almost zero chance that they will end up together, but to be honest I wasn't even expecting this much from the show. I expected them just to have brought Paige back in order to trample her. So for whatever happens next, at least they had this magical moment.**


	54. Chapter 54: Know you me

Paige leaned against the brick wall, careful not to attract the attention of passerbys which were mostly composed of either rushing doctors or paramedics. She took a small object from her pocket and turned it around in her hands. It was a ring that looked somewhat similar to a college ring. It was shiny and grey and there was a small emblem in the middle of it. The ring hung on a sturdy chain, held safely on a fortified buckle The stalker might have been able to shake Paige off her, but during the struggle the chain had been torn apart and when they had made a run for it she had found herself left with the curious looking thing. She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach while eyeing the small object. She almost felt as if it spoke to her, whispering horrible things that she thought she had locked away a long time ago. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. She had to tell Emily, there was no other option. She hadn't thought that there would be any point in her life where she would have to revisit that time, but seeing it right in front of her she knew that much wasn't true anymore.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She jolted from her position, opening her eyes and finding Emily there, holding out a piece of light blue garment in her hands:

"I managed to grab two pairs from a laundry hamper that was close to the exit. I should probably change too. We're not in High School anymore. I doubt I can pass off as a Candy Striper for much longer."

"You're brilliant. Did you know that?"

"I think the word you're looking for is seasoned."

"Meaning what?"

"It can mean being accustomed to a particular condition or being experienced."

"Have you been joining Hanna in her "one word per week" endeavor?"

"The way she constantly interjects them into every phrase it's hard not to."

Paige couldn't stop herself from giggling. For a moment the world around her didn't seem so scary. She had Emily, the ever so resourceful, generous and kind Emily Fields. And she wasn't going to let her go. Not for anything in this world.

 _"No more secrets,"_ she thought to herself before turning towards Emily who was busy pulling the used scrubs on, using their car that was parked up against the wall as a cover. "Em, there is something that I should probably tell you…"

"Paige," Emily said, grabbing her upper arm reassuringly. "Whatever you want to say is probably important. But we have to keep our eyes on the price here. Isn't that what you always tell me? Something tells me that we're going to hit a breakthrough tonight."

 _"You have no idea,"_ Paige thought to herself but stayed silent, following her girlfriend's order to put the scrubs on before they skulked to a backdoor of the hospital.

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The two women walked side by side through the hallways of the hospital, trying to seem engrossed in medical jargon. Luckily, Paige had pretty of experience and Emily recognized some of what she was saying from her own field of study. Emily had managed to swipe a tablet from a nurse's station while it was momentarily empty and managed with Paige's help to find a room with a patient whose injuries corresponded with a car crash and the time of admittal was shortly after when they had left the scene. They walked briskly through an empty hallway, opting for climbing the staircase instead of taking the elevator in order to draw as little attention to them as possible. Once they were on the correct floor and the door was in sight, Paige felt Emily's hand grab her own and she felt the usual warmth spread through her that came with the touch, but it was followed by an unusual sinking feeling of shame. She hated lying to her, even if it was only by omission. She felt like it was time to come clean but knew that the ever determined Emily would point out that they needed to keep their eyes on the price.

"Okay, one of us needs to keep guard. And since you can actually speak that jargon and understand what it means, that might mean you could find out whether you can actually talk to them or not."

"But I never would have made it so far without you," Paige said. "Heck, I would probably still just be looking over my shoulder wondering what snapshot of myself I'd receive next."

"This is still your fight," Emily said, clasping her girlfriend's cheek. "And you are the one that needs answers. And the only person that can give them to you is just beyond that door. Now go. I will keep guard. Go."

Paige slipped from the stairwell into the hallway, hearing Emily coming right behind her, stopping at the corner where she had a good view of the crossing hallways. The auburn haired woman drew in a large breath, feeling the small object in her pocket like it was weighing her down. She grabbed it with one hand and the doorknob with the other.

"This is my fight," she mumbled to herself before slipping inside.

Once she was there, she immediately noticed a bed with someone that looked unconscious lying in it and a clipboard stuck to the bedpost. She fished it out, somehow finding comfort in the familiar forum that she was so used to looking over and filling over in her own line of work. She read quickly over its content: _Jane Doe. Possible concussion. Fractured tibia and a couple of gashes which required stitching._

"This is not enough reason to keep her here," Paige said to herself. "This would merit some time with an ER nurse and a discharge."

Then that she got to the second page of the clipboard: _Patient is conscious but completely non responsive. Will require psych evaluation._

It was then that Paige looked up and realized that the petite figure lying in the bed had their eyes open and was staring at her with empty eyes.

"Woah!" Paige said, dropping the clipboard with a loud clank. She took a few moments composing herself trying to put on a brave face before she found her voice again: "So, I don't really know you but I'm guessing that I know a lot about me."

The dorky remark got no response from the girl on the bed. Paige took in her looks, using the opportunity the finally get a look at the person that had been lurking in the shadows for months. She was a small woman and looked somewhat malnourished. For a moment Paige almost took offense to the fact that this tiny thing had managed to knock her over and injure her. She had short, blond, spiky hair and a small button nose. Looking at her profile she could see that the theory Emily had proposed in the car could indeed be right. She could very well be the little prince that all the letters mentioned. Paige bit her lip. She was losing precious time and didn't even know how long she had. So it was time to make the most of it. She grabbed the offending object from the pocket and slammed it down to the plastic table that was stuck to the bed:  
"You don't want to talk? That's fine. You can also listen. Because I have something to tell you. And no, I don't mean the fact that you've been stalking me. We can get to that later. You know what that thing is? I'm guessing you do because you lost it when we were scuffling. But I know it too. It's the emblem ring for True Directions. And you know why I know that? Because I was there. You hear that? I was there. I saw every single horrible thing. I felt every type of disgust that I knew I could feel about myself and discovered some new ways. Heck, I can't even pass through Philly anymore without getting sick to my stomach and wanting to get the heck out of dodge. Because that is what they do to you. That's how they break you. I know. But I survived. And you will too. But until then I guess I should return this to you."

Paige heard a noise and turned around to see Emily. She was going to ask her how much she had heard but judging from her slack jaw she feared the worse. They heard footsteps coming up the hallway. Emily seemed to snap out of her surprise and remember why she had come inside the room to begin with.

"We need to go," she said, grabbing Paige's hand. "Quick!"

Paige got yanked away, but when she was about the get pulled out of the doorway she heard a meager voice:

"Wait. Please. Wait…."

Once they were out on the hallway they heard a voice:  
"Wait, you're not suppose to be here!"

It was an actual doctor who was walking briskly towards them. They were all interrupted by a loud noise and the sound of the bed inside the room shaking. The doctor looked towards a worried nurse that was trailing him, and there seemed to be silent communication passing between them. Whatever was happening inside to their patient was a priority to the two women they didn't recognize. It was a welcome distraction and Paige didn't need another moment to take advantage of it. She grabbed Emily and they sprinted together towards the staircase. Her heart was thumping so quickly that she could hear the blood in her ears. But something was ringing even louder than that as they managed to find a fire exit and burst into the street. She couldn't even look at the woman beside her.

"My god," she thought. "What have I done?"

 **Author's Notes: It feels weird to finally write out a plot twist that I have been plotting ever since I started writing this story. So, I'm curious to know you reactions. Any theories? There will be some answers during the next chapter which I will try my best to publish this weekend. Until then, all reviews and comments are appreciated. They really keep me going.**


	55. Chapter 55: After the Letter

**Author's Note: A warning to you guys, there is a dark and winding road ahead in this story. However I hope you will enjoy it for what it's worth and I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter. It was difficult to write and I image that the next one will also be quite painful. As always I thank you for reading and reviewing my work and would love to know what you think about the latest turn of events.**

At the present moment Emily wasn't really sure what to think. There were endless questions circulating in her head but she was unable to frame any of them constructively. So instead she opted for concentrating on the road. She hadn't heard of peep from Paige since the moment they had narrowly escaped the doctor that had busted them in his patient's room. Emily parked next to Paige's apartment building and they existed the car wordlessly. Once they were inside her apartment Emily wasted no time. While Paige dragged her feet over the threshold and dropped her keys in the bowl next to the front door, she walked briskly into the kitchen and proceeded to prepare a coffee drip that was so strong that it would have put Spencer Hastings to shame. Once it was brewed she noticed Paige, creeping into the kitchen like she was a visitor in her own home. She didn't bother asking what she had been doing, opting to push the blackest coffee either of them had ever seen towards her along with two packets of hazelnut sweetener.

"Whenever you're ready."

Paige sat down, quiet as a house mouse and pulled the steaming cup towards her. She spent a few moments gnawing on her lower lip, staring into the black liquid before she drew in a long breath, bracing herself like she was about to dip into freezing water:

"I fear you're not going going to like what I'm about to say."

"I think you know where this story is going to start. You weren't exactly there but you were a part of it. It all started during our freshman year in Rosewood High. I know you don't remember me from back then but I do remember you. I didn't notice you right away. I passed most of my first months with my head down. I didn't really have loads of friends so I tried to keep myself busy with sports and extracurricular activities. I was the new kid after all. For the most part, we didn't run in the same circles, so I hadn't even seen your face. But that all changed on october morning. I remember I was standing in the breakfast line in the cafeteria. You were in front of me with your friends. I remember looking at your wet hair, wondering if you were on the swim team and had just finished morning practice like me. I was wondering if I had ever seen you on practice when I heard that you were debating with Hanna and Aria. They were trying to convince you that Halloween was a better holiday than Christmas and you kept on shaking your head, giggling non stop. I thought to myself that you had a nice laugh and then wondered to myself why I was thinking about that."

"I think I remember that conversation," Emily said, thinking back.

 _"Come on Emily. You don't always have to act like such a good girl," Hanna said. "We are in High school now. Even though we're just freshmen. Halloween means that you get to dress up and go to parties."_

 _"Yeah. Ali told me that she could even score us an invitation to Noel Kahn's party," Aria said, twirling a lock of bright pink hair between her fingers, gazing dreamily into space._

 _"Besides, how can you prefer Christmas over a holiday where you can pretend to be anything you like?"_

 _"Maybe because I know what I want to be," Emily said and did a mock dramatic hand gesture. "And I'm a girl that really likes Christmas."_

 _"You should get that printed on a t-shirt or something," Spencer remarked and the other girls snickered._

 _Emily pulled her arm from the pose, accidentally bumping her elbow into the tray of the person behind her. She heard a loud thud and turned around._

 _"I'm so sorry," she said, bending down to pick up a plastic bowl, a small cereal packet and a carton of milk._

 _"Don't worry about it," a mousy haired girl muttered. She accepted her things back, smiling gratefully, but never looking up. "It Was my fault really."_

 _"Nonsense. I was acting silly and not being mindful of my surroundings," Emily said, hearing her own mother echoing in the words that were coming out of her mouth before becoming distracted by the shark logo on the other girl's hoodie. "Do you swim for the Sharks?"_

 _"Yeah. I just started last month."_

 _"Awesome. Me too. I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other then, " Emily said and turned around, noticing that Spencer, Aria and Hanna had already left the line and were seated around Alison and were motioning her to get a move on. "I should get going. It was nice to meet you. I'll see you around."_

 _"Bye… Emily," the other girl muttered, staying frozen in place as the raven haired girl skipped away to join her friends._

"You were so beautiful," Paige said, looking down but smiling shyly like she had done that very day. "And I don't just mean the way that you looked. It was the way you talked, how you smiled, the way you laughed. You have the most beautiful laughter. Did you know that? And you seemed so genuinely concerned even if all you did was to knock a plastic tray out of my hands."

"I can't believe you've never told me about this," Emily said. "It was the same day that Ali confirmed that we were invited to Noel Kahn's Halloween party. I feel so self centered saying that. I was so obsessed about getting invited to some popular guy's party that I completely forgot about that exchange."

"Don't worry about it. I was pretty unremarkable. But I remember. Heck. I never forgot. You were… radiant. I kept on thinking about it during all of my first semester in Rosewood High. I sometimes passed you during swim practice but I was too much of a coward to even say hello to you, afraid of what seeing you smile again would spark inside me. I tried to focus on being the best I could be, both in swimming and field hockey. My aggressiveness managed to tick Spencer Hastings off but not nearly as much as I annoyed Alison. We were fighting for the same sport on the competition team after all. The coach decided to settle it in a one against one scoring competition. When we were stepping out of the locker rooms Ali bent down to retrieve something and then patted me on the back, wishing me the best of luck. I should have known something was off right there and then but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. What a gigantic mistake that was. I realized it as soon as I took my first step into the field. Or at least attempted to. I fell flat on my face. She had tied my shoelaces together. I got knocked out so fast that I barely even felt it. Got a black eye and a concussion which took me out of the competition. Which was exactly what she wanted. I wasn't able to come back to practice until after Christmas. And by that time I was absolutely furious. Once I got back, we got into a scuffle during practice. She asked if I had made a comeback to score a full house in face planting, and I just lost it. I jumped on her, she scratched my face and I hit her on the back with my hockey stick. It got me a two week suspension and a penalty named after me.

But that's not where the story starts but what led up to its start. While I was sulking around during my suspension I received a letter. I recognized the handwriting immediately; the large loops on the g's and l's and the way that the capital a's were written like an extra large lower case. I had discovered a notebook once in an empty classroom with your name on it with the exact same handwriting. I had returned it to Spencer who responded drily that she would make sure you got it. The content of the letter made my heart stop beating and then do a few extra lunges. It explained that you weren't so sure that you wanted to be with your boyfriend anymore, explaining that you had… other thoughts, some of them concerning me and were wondering if I felt the same way."

"Oh Paige," Emily said, feeling almost physically uncomfortable as the story unfolded. She knew all too well what happened next.

"The next part I've told you about before. That is, after Spencer told you Cece's version of it. The worst part is that if Spencer hadn't ratted me out I would have probably tried to keep it as a secret forever. To say that what Ali did made me feel embarrassed would be the understatement of the century. I was devastated. Absolutely mortified. And more importantly, I felt like there was something dirty inside me and that now I risked it getting exposed to the world because I had momentarily given in, thinking that there might be someone else that was like me, when really I had gotten strung along by Ali and probably you who were in on the game. Maybe you had noticed the attention that I was paying to you and decided to let me know how you really felt about it.

I completely shut myself off. I stopped attending school, dropped out of the field hockey team and my grades started to slip. My dad noticed it and suggested that I would go stay with some friends of the family during the summer vacation which was around the corner. They used to work together in the church that my dad was a deacon in back in Philly. I accepted the offer very willingly because I thought that the further away that I was from you and Ali and the risk of being exposed, the better. My dad's friend had become an entrepreneur, having invested family money, and lived in this gigantic manor out in the countryside. He had two girls, one who was a few years older than me and another one that was still in elementary school. At the start I was much happier than I had been for a long time but it wasn't long until the anxiousness about what had happened back in Rosewood started creeping up on me. My father's friend eventually confronted me about what was bothering me, and I don't know why but I just poured my heart out to him. I told him how worried I was that soon everyone was going to know what I was, and how desperate I was just to get that thing, that desire out of me, for it had brought me nothing but misery. He didn't get angry, instead he thanked me for having confided in him and that this must have been such a heavy burden to carry alone. But more importantly he told me that there were resources for people that were battling the same problematic feelings as I did.

At first I didn't like the idea, thinking that if I wanted to get rid of these feelings that way I would have to tell my dad my secret. He assured me that wouldn't be necessary, that in fact he had just started an institution a couple of years ago which was presented to the outside world like an elite academy which students were accepted into for one year at a time. It was usually done to save the face of the parents of these children that didn't want anyone to know that their kid was battling "unnatural urges" but he told me that in my case since I was such a special friend of the family he would tell my dad the same cover story. All I had to do was convince him to let me go."

"Oh Paige," Emily said, feeling the sinking feeling rise like a tsunami in her stomach.

Paige's eyes were glued to the counter. She was fiddling with something that she finally laid on the table and looked up. It was an identical ring to the one that she had placed on the plastic tray in front of the blond haired girl mere hours before:

"The moment I saw the ring I recognized it as the emblem ring given to the students at the True Direction conversion academy because I used to be one of them."


	56. Chapter 56: Gone Girl

"Gone, what do you mean gone?" Hanna asked, her mouth hanging agape.

"I realized I had to return the rental car and told her I'd be right back but once I got back the apartment was empty," Emily responded,

"And have you heard from her, like, at all?"

"No. Not a peep. I've tried calling but it just goes straight to voicemail. I don't know what to do anymore. It's been more than a day. She hasn't been home since yesterday morning."

"Poor Em, you must be so worried," Hanna said and pulled her in for a tight hug. "Did anything happen that night that might have triggered this?"

"I don't even know where to start," Emily said, running a hand through her hair.

"How about just the essentials?"

"Have you ever thought you knew someone and then it turned out that they have this side of them that you had no idea existed? I mean, you can obviously never know everything about someone, but I mean finding something out that is a complete game changer? Something serious… life altering."

"Well, duh," Hanna said and pointed towards herself and then to Emily. "I meet new people every day for promotional purposes and don't start every encounter with 'Hey, I'm Hanna Marin. You remember that case where a deranged individual in Pennsylvania locked four girls in an underground bunker for weeks? Yeah, that's me. Pleased to meet you. And I'm guessing that you're not so psyched about letting people know about that either."

"I get what you're saying," Emily said, taking a short pause. "But what about your significant other? What would you do if you found something out about them that would change everything that you thought you knew?"

"Well, it's not like that hasn't happened already," Hanna said, dipping her head.

"What do you mean?"

Hanna took a deep breath before continuing: "At the end of last summer when me and Caleb were getting ready to relocate to here he got a call from a lawyer from a town where he used to live when he was a kid. After the phone call he sat me down and explained that he would have to go away for a couple of days. When I asked him why he told me that he would explain everything when he got back. Normally that would have ticked me off, but there was something about how he was acting that just told me that this was imperative. So I told him not to worry about anything, I would pack our boxes and pay the movers and that he should just concentrate on whatever it was that he had to do. Which is what I did. But when he came back, it was like all of him wasn't really back, like he had left some part of himself in that backwards town. And when I tried to ask him about it he would try to avoid the subject. That is until one night when he told me that the reason that he went back was to testify in a child abuse case. There was a foster family that he had stayed with as a kid that used to treat him really badly."

"But I thought all of them treated him badly. That's why he was living on his own when you met wasn't it?" Emily asked.

"He didn't feel at home with any of them. But these, they were something else entirely. They did things to him. They hurt him and punished him in ways that nobody deserves."

"So were they finally getting charged for their crimes?" Emily asked. "I thought there was a statue of limitation on these things."

"They didn't technically get charged for what they did to Caleb. He got moved to another foster home after a couple of months. He told me that he was just glad that he had made it out of there alive. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case for everyone."

"What do you mean?"

"There was another boy that stayed with them, some time after Caleb was there and he… he died from the injuries that he sustained while he was there."

"Oh my god. I had no idea."

"Me neither. Caleb got asked to testify in that case when he was younger and it was his testimony along with photos of some suspicious injuries that got noticed during a physical exam at his school that swayed the jury from ruling the death accidental to being a homicide."

"But why did he have to go back last year?"

"His ex foster mother had applied for parole and he got asked to testify for the state objecting to her release. And he was successful. The district attorney told him that it was once again his testimony that swayed the vote and confirmed that what had happened to that poor boy wasn't a one-off. I almost couldn't believe it when he told me."

"I can," Emily said and grabbed Hanna's hand comfortingly. "Caleb is an incredibly brave man."

"That he is."

"And did he just tell you that right away?"

"Gosh no. But I didn't pry it out of him either."

"Then what did you do?"

"I let him know that I was there and that whenever he was ready to talk I was willing to listen. And when he was ready, he came to find me."

"I wish my situation was that simple."

"Maybe it is. Maybe you just don't see the forest for the trees. It's simple, but at the same time it isn't."

"What do you mean by that?"

"People who go through that type of trauma, grow up with a shadow. A back passenger if you will."

"I get that. They…" Emily paused, realizing that she wasn't just speaking in general terms anymore. Between her plural pronoun were two people, Caleb and Paige. Though they had divided stories, they seemed to share that gnawing shadow that was starting to contextualize in Emily's mind:

"It's shame," she finally said, with Hanna giving her a confirming "Voilà" expression so she continued her train of thought. "Not only for what happened to them but because they feel like they will never have a normal life after it because nobody is ever going to love and understand them. So their shadow is not only composed of being haunted by what happened to them but the constant sinking feeling that once the people closest to them find out everyone will see them as damaged goods and leave them."

"When it comes down to the moment where a separation is inevitable they are always the one to leave," Hanna said. "Because…"

"They would rather leave first than to see the one they love walk away from them," Emily finished.

"I think you get it now," Hanna said, pride sneaking over her face like a teacher that has just watched its pupil excel. "Find your girl Em. And don't ask me how. Because you know."

"By letting her find me."

 **Author's Notes: So, first of all, apologies. I have gone completely of the radar. My real life kind of got in the way of my writing. Fortunately, it was happy things that got in the way (jay!). This is a very short chapter and I felt like writing more, but I am pressed for time at the moment, so I felt it was better to post at least this small chapter since it is, on it's own, a piece in the puzzle that is Emily and Paige's complex relationship (along with some Hannily-friendship which used to be one of my favorite things about the show). I hope you enjoyed the little nugget of information that this chapter offered (maybe some of you managed to catch the recontextulization in this chapter) and I will hopefully see you back for the next chapter.**


	57. Chapter 57: The Plunge

Emily started her week out by following Hanna's advice. Even though she could still feel a stone of worry tugging on her intestines, she knew in her heart of hearts that what her blonde friend said was the truth. So it was that she packed up some of the stuff that she had been leaving lately in Paige's apartment and started sleeping in her small rental room again. She knew that idle hands would do nothing but make her mind wander, and thus made an effort to occupy herself at every waking moment. When she wasn't at swim practice, she was cramming for classes.

"Isn't it ironic?" she said to nobody in particular the following Friday night when she was burning the midnight oil. "When we finally got together again, how you said that I had to work towards getting that sweet diploma… I guess neither of us imagined that you would help me reach that goal in this particular way."

She stretched, trying desperately to clear her mind and regain her focus but it was useless. Her mind was a wander and she threw her pencil on the textbook in surrender. She looked at her alarm clock. It was approaching midnight but she knew that even though she wasn't able to concentrate on studying, she wasn't going to get any sleep either.

"To heck with it," she said and grabbed her backpack, along with the keys to her bike which she had parked next to her bed since she started spending her nights at Paige's house, and grabbed it. She started pushing it gently up the stairs, careful not to make a sound, mindful of the fact that she was now again a subletter in someone else's house. She finally allowed the wheels to touch the ground once she was out on the concrete and swung herself on top of the vehicle, feeling the wind blow in her hair once she started pedalling. She heard the familiar chiming of a church bell tower while she rode out of her street, -Saturday morning had officially arrived. Usually she would be fast asleep by now, resting up for her appointment with her physiotherapist who liked to get up early in the weekend, as she had proven to Emily time and time again. She loft out a soft chuckle at the thought before melancholy sweeped in again and wiped the smile off of her face. But there was a spark of hope that resided in the emptiness that the auburn haired woman had left in her heart. Because no matter what difficulty she was going through now, it was undeniable that from the moment that she had come back into Emily's life, even before they had admitted to each other that those feelings that they used to have never really went away, she had changed it in so many wonderful ways. She had helped her heal and to feel real again, and for that Emily was willing to give her however long time she needed, no matter how much it was going to hurt. She screeched to a halt, realizing that she had become so lost in thought that she was already where she was heading. She locked her bike and made sure to avoid the doors which Paige had warned her about having a burglar alarm on during the night, and slipped into the natatorium in the Pepperdine University.

* * *

Emily stretched out her arms as far as she could, pushing herself from the bank and pummelling herself forward in her final lap. She felt as her muscles burned and ached, tired from the several practices that she had attended that week under Grace's ever so watchful eye, but she took a deep breath, and pushed forward. But this time unlike so many times before the lethargy didn't developpe into growing pain that would have normally exploded into her shoulder unless she ceased the motion immediately. This time it was only exhaustion, and while it imposed itself in front of her like a brick wall she knew that if she kept pushing forward she would be able to smash it. She took her last couple of tugs on the water as if she was pulling herself up a rope and finally smashed her hand against the bank. She looked at the large stop clock that hung above the pool. It had just hit a quarter after one, meaning that even counting the tournament last month this was her best time. The old familiar feeling of accomplishment flowed through her and even though she was completely alone she couldn't help it and as her hand touched the wet surface she yanked herself up, pulling her swim cap off and shook her head in victory. But her celebration was cut short as she heard ruckus and the slamming of a door. Silence followed but as she peered her eyes she could notice how the light had shifted slightly. There was somebody there.

"Hello?" she said, feeling like someone had just poured a bucket of cold water down her back. She heard footsteps that drew closer which made her scramble manically for the bank, knowing that being in a body of water would make her more vulnerable in case the person that was coming meant her harm. However her aim faltered, making her hand slide and dunking her right back into the pool. She instinctively took a panicked gulp, swallowing water that had a sordid taste of chlorine and she felt her body convulse, trying to push the liquid back up. She managed to propel herself up to the surface and threw her upper body to the bank. She took large gulps of air, water still flowing from her nose and she took a few moments composing herself. It was then that she noticed that there was a figure hovering above her. She looked up, a sinking feeling forming in her stomach. But it disappeared instantly as she saw the face of the figure that came closer to her, grabbing her upper arms and pulling her from the water. It was Paige, looking more gaunt and tired than Emily had ever seen her before. But she was there. She grabbed the towel that was lying closeby and wrapped it around the raven haired womans shoulders.

"Paige…"

"Shhh, you're okay."

"And you're back."

"Yes," Paige said, giving her a reassuring blink. "And I'm not leaving again. Come on."

"I'm fine," Emily said, getting her footing on the slippery floor.

"I'm glad," Paige said, seeming momentarily at loss for words before continuing. "Will you come for a ride? With me? I'll tell you everything. I promise."


	58. Chapter 58: Into the Shadows

**Author's Notes I: First off, hello. I know that I have been on a long hiatus but fear not, I am not giving up on Paily and neither should you. There were two main reasons why I've taken such a long time writing this chapter:  
1\. I have been super busy. But I am trying, despite of that, to reserve time for writing, both because I enjoy it and because I believe that we deserved better than the hot mess that the last couple of PLL episodes were. Somebody needs to keep the Paily flame burning and I am both able and willing.  
2\. The content of this chapter is not for the faint of heart and was equally difficult to write. As has been revealed in the last couple of chapters, one of the subjects of this fic is conversion therapy and the harms that can do to a person. I did some research in order to respect the subject, which was also one of the reason why this took so long. I decided that if I was going to do this I wanted to do it right. So, with due warning because of the content, here is the next chapter of Scar Tissue.**

 **Emily's POV**

Emily showered quickly, not caring if she did not manage to rinse all of the chlorine off of her body. Despite Paige having made an effort to locate her in the middle of the night (how she had managed to do it she had no idea), there was still a lingering fear in her chest that if she allowed the auburn haired woman to leave her side she would vanish into a cloud of smoke somehow. But she stood diligently by, as she stepped out of the shower, and as Emily finished drying herself the other woman passed her her clothes, one item at a time, never taking her gaze off of her face. She looked different from the last time Emily had seen her. Her face looked gaunt, dark circles under her eyes and her hair hung around her face, dirty and matted. But there was resolve in her eyes, determination. Whatever she was fighting inside her, she was struggling to overcome it. She was drowning all alone, in her own sea and Emily desperately wanted to lend her a helping hand.

They walked outside and as they passed the bike racks Paige's eyes lingered on Emily's bike. She responded by looking into the auburn haired woman's eyes and giving her a reassured smile: "Don't you worry. It's locked. It will be safe. I'll get it some other time."

"Right," Paige said, a small glimpse of relief washing over her face. She opened the trunk of the car and deposited the duffel sack that Emily handed her in there before slamming it shut again and fishing her car keys out of her pocket. She held them up to Emily. "Do you mind driving?"

Once the two women were in the car Emily felt a shifting in the other woman's body language: she went from being pent up like a board to limped down like a cooked noodle in a matter of seconds.

"Anywhere special you want us to go?" Emily said, plugging the key into the ignition.

"Not really," Paige said.

Emily followed the other woman's vague directions, settling for a route that she knew would give them long periods of uninterrupted driving. Once she hit the new tarmac she felt how the car almost stopped vibrating, making the ride smooth like sailing a boat through calm waters.

"I've been doing this a lot," Paige said after some silence. "Driving around… not really having a destination in mind. I felt like I couldn't stay still. That it made me… vulnerable somehow. So I'd drive, drive until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, so I'd just find a parking spot and sleep in the car."

" _So that's where you disappeared off to,"_ Emily thought to herself but kept her tongue behind her teeth. Paige was obviously opening up to her, and needed someone that would listen, not an interrogation.

"Do you want to hear something funny?" Paige asked, and before Emily had a chance to respond, she continued. "I originally didn't think it was going to be that bad. The camp I mean. Once I arrived I realized that I might be the only person there that was participating willingly. It was disguised as an elite academy for the outside world mostly so that embarrassed parents could save face and not have to admit to anyone that they had really shipped their kid off to conversion camp. But I wasn't only fooling the rest of the world, but my own folks as well. I guess that made me an abnormality, even amongst a group of people that were where they were because they were considered unnatural. Some of them didn't go in there believing that they were unnatural. Many had come to accept themselves, privately of course. Some had even had relationships that they had kept a secret from their parents. But then again that's where the first stage of the therapy came in…"

Paige took a break, inhaling slowly, and looking sideways towards Emily, who had parked the car in a secluded area. She returned the gaze with a meaningful gaze: _Please. Continue._ So Paige did:

"They figure, that in order to fix what's wrong with you, they need to tear you down to your foundation. Break you down. To install a deep loathing in you for everything that you are. I already disliked myself so naturally I excelled in this part of the program. But how they treated us, talked about how deranged we were because of what we longed for, it brought my self-loathing to an entirely new level. Then there were the training sessions…"

Paige let out a sniffle, trying desperately to compose herself. Emily wanted to reach out, to hug the woman whose body had started trembling, but restrained herself, realizing that the only thing that she could offer at this moment was her presence. Paige continued, her voice bent but not completely broken:

"There were these sessions, with some of the older, ex students, success stories so to speak, who worked at the camp as counselors. This was after the official schedule of the camp was over. You know, the classes, the praying, the therapy, so this would happen during the evenings. They would show you these… images… nothing too crude. It was mostly just people of the same gender as we were. They were in… suggestive possessions. They knew that we would have a reaction to what we saw. Then came the dunks. They would dunk our heads into freezing water. At first we were brought one by one to those sessions because we would try to get out of the water. I'd kick, I'd scream, I almost got some of the counselors injured. But eventually, you just started accepting it. There was no other way out and it was over faster that way anyway. And that's when they started the group therapy sessions. The idea was that you could get dunked less if you helped somebody else "in their battle against their unnatural urges". The instructors said that it showed that we were prepared to lead by example."

Paige's body was stiffening up, her face expressing how the recounting was making her relive the horror. But she bit her lip and pushed on:

"One night my turn came. At first I had assured myself that I wasn't going to do it. I had thought long and hard about it, for many nights when I couldn't sleep, preparing myself for the moment when I would be asked to step forward. I had come to the conclusion that I was doing this thing, going through all of that horrible stuff, because I wanted something. I wasn't going to force people to do something that had been forced to be there. But then I saw this guy that they had asked to step forward for me to "perform" the ceremony on. And I was going to throw in the towel, tell them to dunk me instead of him, because I simply couldn't do it. I still remember that guy, after all these years. He had obviously not come to the camp willingly. He was the kind of guy that would ride a rainbow chopper down main street. During the first couple of weeks I remember how he exaggerated behavior that he knew would piss them off because it was considered as "degenerate". You know, he'd swing his hips when he walked, speak in a high pitched voice, say "honey" a lot, that sort of stuff. But during those couple of months that we had been in the camp, something that changed in him. Because when I looked at him that night, ready to spare him the rod and say my piece, he looked up at me, his eyes completely sunken. And he just said one thing to me."

"What was it?" Emily asked.

"Do it!" Paige drew a pained breath. "So I did. And do you know the worst part? Afterwards, when it was all over, the counselors actually complimented me on how dedicated I was, and some part of me felt proud. So, the next time that I was put on the spot, I didn't hesitate. I just did what was asked of me. And for a long time, after all that stuff was over, I couldn't help but wonder, does that make me a horrible person?"

"No, it doesn't," Emily said. "Paige, people do horrible stuff when they think there is no other option. Me and the girls would stand by and do nothing while Ali did some horrible things to people, including you. Heck, sometimes we even participated. And nobody was keeping us holed up in a prison," she laughed humorlessly. "At least not at that point. But once we got locked in the Dollhouse, that's what Cece made us do. We would be locked in a room and we had to pick one of the others to get electrocuted. If not, they would all get tortured. And you know what? In the end, we always gave in. It turned out that none of the others actually got shocked, we were just made to believe that. But the point is, we gave in, because eventually everyone does."

"Yes, but the thing is, once I got out, I felt that some of that feeling, that need, that this was what I had to do," Paige said, looking up to see Emily's questioning look. "I didn't finish the entire year. Heck I barely finished half of it. In late November I caught something. The guardians at the school just told me to rest for a few days, and when I didn't get better they accused me of exaggerating my illness. So I forced myself to my feet and believed what they said; that if I would just get back to my daily activities. I felt like crap but it seemed to be working. Up to the point where I straight up fainted. I think that was the point where many of the counselors realized how significantly unequipped they were to handle this situation. They drove me to the closest hospital, which still took almost three hours because the academy was in such a remote location. It turned out that I had caught a really bad case of pneumonia."

"What happened then?"

"My dad found out. He was furious, of course. He caught the first plane to Philly and stayed with me until I was well enough to travel. And then he took me back home. I wasn't to finish the academy. No way, no how, he said, that he was letting his only child stay in a place that would allow such a thing to happen. Little did he know about everything else that had been happening there. And once I was home, being home schooled while I was getting back on my feet, he would still go on about how "those people" that were on TV fighting the supreme court just wanted "special privileges" I was reminded that I might have gotten out of that place, I should still fight to keep those urges in check, because I did not want to spend my life as a ' _degenerate'_. I found it so ironic, that the girl that had caused all of this, and I had ultimately fled Rosewood to escape because I was so scared she'd reveal my secrets, had just disappeared into thin air. But I meant what I told Ali once she came back to Rosewood. I wasn't sorry she was gone. I was glad, even. Because now I could start my life, living free of this terrible thing that she had uncovered about me, that she could never reveal to anybody."

"And did that work for you?"

"Well, to some extent. I would train every day in the swimming pool at home to get my stamina back after the illness and after Christmas vacation I was able to join the swim team again. At first I was afraid of even getting into the water. It reminded me of… what they'd do to me… at the institution. But then I became more defiant about it. I wanted to conquer it. Be its master. And I wanted to be the best at it. I heard that during the second semester at the academy they were going to instruct us how to simulate correct gender relation, but I never got to that part. So I figured that I'd just have to learn it all by my lonesome. But it didn't seem to be working so instead I just concentrated on what I was good at, which was swimming. I was the best in the team that spring semester. Coach Fulton asked me what I had been doing during the fall semester and I fed her the same lie as everybody else: that I had been at an elite academy. I sometimes think that I pushed myself so hard partly because it was the only thing that could make me forget what was done to me but mostly because I felt that it was the only part of my identity that I didn't want to get rid off. And then… then you came along."

"I wish I would have known," Emily said. "I could have been so much more understanding if I had known."

"There was no way you could have known," Paige said reassuringly. "Besides, it wasn't your job to help me. I was horrible to you. I bullied you. I attacked you Emily."

Emily's breath hitched. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had always knew that this issue would come back up. How Paige had dunked her head under water when they had been battling for the swim captain position. She had written the incident off a long, long time ago, accepting that she might never get to the bottom of why Paige saw herself compelled to do what she had done. But since the auburn-haired woman had come back into her life she couldn't shake the feeling that at some point they would have to revisit that event.

"I didn't do it because I wanted to become captain. I didn't even do it because I thought you had snitched."

"Then why did you do it?" Emily asked.

"I was finishing up a study session with some friends, and then when I was putting my stuff back in the locker afterwards, something fell out of there. It was a photobooth strip of you and Maya, kissing."

"How come you've never told me this?" Emily asked.

"I was embarrassed. Incredibly, stupefyingly embarrassed," Paige said, her head hung so low that her chin was almost resting on her chest. "And it all came rushing back to me. The letter I thought you had written me, the one that Ali used to torment me. The one that I suspected that you had helped her with since you were such good friends. But with Ali gone there was no doubt in my mind. I was certain that you had helped her make the letter, even suggested it, and now you had put this in my locker in order to upset me with your own deviancy."

"It must have been A…" Emily muttered. "If there was one thing that they were good at, it was stirring up shit and making people distrust one another. They set up things in that way to make you believe that. Is that why you did what you did?"

"No. God no. That made me angry, but I would never have done such a thing as retaliation. But at that moment there was like something snapped inside me. I felt like I was back there, in the academy. I felt the walls closing in on me so I fled to a place which I used to hide out."

"The store room next to the natatorium," Emily said, blushing a little while recalling her own encounter with Paige in that room.

"Yeah. But I didn't make it the entire way there. I couldn't see. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. That photo made me feel like I was plunged in that cold water again and that this time I didn't know if I was ever going to resurface. And then I noticed that you were swimming towards the bank. And suddenly I could see that photo of you again, engaging in a 'deviant act' like the pictures that they showed us at the academy and I heard their voices in my head. "Do it. Do it!"" Paige sniffled. "So I did."

 **Author's Notes II: I know that this chapter ended on a very dark note, but I felt that this was the correct point to end this chapter. I know that I'm handling sensitive subjects and I hope that I'm doing it with respect. For a more light hearted reading and to know more about the natatorium storage, I recommend that you read my one-shot "That simple". I like expanding the universe that I have created for Paily, including with one shots, to fill in some of the blanks. Anyways, as always, thanks for reading, reviewing and sticking with my fic. You guys inspire me.**


	59. Chapter 59: Let the Water wash me down

Paige was jolted awake, not recalling clearly where or how she had fallen asleep. Her dreams had been murky and unclear, much like the rest of her state of mind had been as of lately. Her first instinct that she would wake up in her own bed was quickly shattered as she realized that she was sitting up and her neck was stiff: she had fallen asleep in her car again. Her mind wandered through hour after hour of conversation that she could have sworn had happened just the other night. But there was nobody else but her in the car.

 _"Once I got home that night, it was like I had been asleep, in a trance somehow but somehow just suddenly woke up. I felt like I had done the things I did like I was under some kind of a trance. It was raining outside, pouring, I remember. But I knew that I had to do something. So I rode my bike, as fast as I could, to your house. It's selfish, I know that. But I know that if I hadn't done that I probably would have rode my bike into the highway and just laid down there. I couldn't live in a world where I had done what I did and not at least tried to make amends."_

 _"I remember how weird I found it. But at the same time I thought you were incredibly brave. You did something horribly wrong yes. But you didn't just wait and let it eat you up inside. I used to do that. All the time."_

 _"I'm glad that at least one of us thought that. I thought I might just be able to live with myself after that, but not much more than that. I still just wanted to disappear into the air."_

 _"Is that what happened when you left? When you slipped on your bike and cracked your forehead?"_

 _"Maybe… I don't know. I was riding, trying to repeat to myself that it didn't matter what you thought of me, that I had lost my mind or something, because I had done the right thing. And then it all suddenly started collapsing. I could feel the walls closing in on me, which is ridiculous because I was in the middle of the street. There was a voice inside my head, telling me how weak I was. How by just going to see you I was giving into my urges. And then came the plunge, like I had just been pulled face first into ice cold water. I couldn't breathe. I started fading out of consciousness, until I crashed into a curb and smashed my head onto the street. Ironically I think that the shock of the fall that knocked me out of my panic and back into reality. So I just grabbed my bag, wandered home and promised not to tell anyone about what had happened to me. Ever again."_

Paige got out of the car in order to get fresh air. As she was shutting the door she heard a thunder rumbling and seconds later, fat drops of rain poured started pouring down.

"Are you kidding me?" Paige said, zipping up her sweater and pulling her hoodie on her head. She looked down into a dune and realized that Emily had parked the car near the beach. "Not Emily," she corrected herself. "You. You parked the car. You and you alone. And that's how it's going to be?"

 _"Do you want to know one of the worst parts of it all?"_

 _"What?"_

 _"I used to be a true believer. Before all of this happened. I didn't just go to church because it pleased my family or was something I was suppose to do. But I genuinely enjoyed it. But after all of this, I just couldn't anymore. I felt like I had to pick one thing or the other. It was like they had tainted it for me somehow. My faith. So I tried to let it go. But it was hard. It was like a broken heart. Even when I was happy, doing well in school, swimming, with you… I still felt like I had lost something profound. Something that made me more alone. I'm sorry. This probably makes me sound like a horrible person…"_

 _"It doesn't Paige. Just like you gained a part of your identity, by accepting who you are, these people took a part of it away from you."_

Paige gritted her teeth. The rain was ice cold, making the otherwise mellow spring night feel unwelcoming. It had all seemed so real yesterday. She had felt relieved talking to her. Could it all just have been a figment of her imagination?

"It all felt so real..." she mumbled to herself turning back towards the car. She was cold, groggy and utterly alone.

It was then when she felt somebody seizing her upper arm. She felt how her heart almost jumped up to hear throat but was somehow able to resist tearing her arm free, instead opting for turning around. She was met with Emily, having a worried expression, probably realizing that she had startled her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Where were you? I was starting to think I dreamt the entire thing"

"You didn't. I went down to the beach. It was so beautiful. Let me show you."

And without another word she grabbed her hand. Paige's mind was filled with questions, but the moment that she felt the tug on her fingers, she softened up and allowed herself to be lead down from the parking lot and down to the beach. Once there was nothing around them except sand.

"I used to think like you," she said, looking at Paige. "Because of the conservative tone that the Rosewood preacher used to write his sermons in, I couldn't shake the feeling that once I came out I had to make a choice. But I wasn't always so sure about that choice. I was under a lot of pressure during our junior year and at one point it even landed me in the hospital…" she chuckled to herself. "That is not counting that time where I got knocked out at homecoming and won a Toyota."

"I remember," Paige said. "Didn't Hanna explain that as some sort of crazy karma?"

"She has always found her own explanations when others are lacking. But this was after that. I was suppose to swim on a meet where a scout was and suddenly my dad showed up. And that made me all the more nervous and I ended up in the hospital because of an ulcer that was explained as stress induced, but it turned out later that A had spiked my sport's cream."

"What didn't A do to you guys? Sorry, that was rhetorical. Please continue."

"Once I was released from the hospital and dad was picking me up to take me back to Hanna's place before he went back to Texas I suddenly just lost it. I started crying and I couldn't stop. He asked me what was wrong and I asked him if he thought, honestly, that maybe God was punishing me. Because of the fact that I had forsaken him, because I didn't know how to make what I was and how the people at church said that God was like compatible."

"And what did he say?"

"He didn't say a word. But when we got into the car I realized that he was not driving me back to Hanna's. We drove out of the town, to a cliff overlooking the town. He told me that having the doubts that I was having was not unique to just me. That anyone that truly believes, not just because somebody tells them to, has had them. And that he had too. He told me that God was still there, but that I might be looking for him in the wrong places."

"Whatever does that mean Em?"

"It means, Paige, that God isn't in churches filled with judgemental people, that try to control you."

"Where are they then huh?" Paige asked, momentarily annoyed. She had told herself that this was a chapter in her life that was closed. That this was something that she had decided she'd just have to live without. That the cost was too great. Just like she had calculated the complete opposite, many years before.

"Everywhere," Emily said. "If you believe in them they can be in whatever and whoever you choose. They can be the sun, the sea or even in the rain."

"Anyone huh?" Paige said, looking up at Emily. The rain had turned into a light drizzle, and a little glint of light shone from the horizon, forming a halo of luminosity around Emily's silhouette. "So, that means that God could technically be you?"

Emily chuckled lightly:  
"I don't think that's what my dad meant when he told me that. But the things that people do for one another, their feelings towards one another, each act of love or kindness, that forms energy, and within that energy is God."

Paige was silent for a while, contemplating what she had just said. It was then when she was filled with a sudden urge. Without saying a word, she grabbed Emily's arm.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked, furrowing her brow.

"Come on," Paige said, drawing the raven haired woman towards the waves which kept on drawing closer to them.

"We'll get wet," Emily said, sounding worried.

"We already are," Paige said, raising her arms in a 'what are you going to do about it?' gesture. But instead of letting her arms fall back to her sides she grabbed the zipper on her sweater, pulling it down and letting the garment fall off her shoulders.

Emily was hesitant at first, but suddenly realization seemed to flush over her. She unbuttoned her pants, pulling them down and kicking them into the growing pile where Paige was throwing her clothes off, in a safe distance from the growing tide. Paige was down to her t-shirt and underwear. She looked Emily straight in the eye: "Come on. I'll raise you."

The two women sprinted towards the water, Emily producing a grunt of exasperation as she tried to catch up with the other woman. Just like back in Rosewood, Paige outdid her in the sprinting department, her long muscles rippling as she took long confident steps in the sand. The first wave splashed against their legs, piercing and powerful, and Emily let out a yelp of surprise. She quickly got used to the water, which was warm and welcoming, and waded confidently out up to her hips, following the auburn haired woman who was a couple of feet ahead of her.

Paige turned around, giving the other woman a confident smile before posing her body and dipping head first into the water. She allowed the water to surround her, hugging her with unsurmountable gentleness. She took confident strides, and as the water splashed and rippled around her, she started understanding what Emily had meant. This was God, in the water, in the rain, all around her. It was in the love that she felt towards Emily, her family, her job as a healer. They were everywhere, and they were in her. Maybe they had been all along, while she had been struggling, when she had been lost. She felt like there had been floodgates opened within her, as powerful as the tide that was all around her.

They swam around, splashing and laughing for who knew how long. The sun had started to rise and she felt its welcoming glow on her back. Suddenly Emily's face started showing signs of discomfort.

"I need to go back," she said.

"I'll be right there," Paige said, tugging hard to catch up with the other woman.

Once they were in shallower water she noticed that the other woman was still struggling.

"Hey, are you okay," Paige asked, grabbing her shoulder.

"I just have a cramp," Emily said, struggling to maintain her balance. "I guess I must have worn myself out in the natatorium last night."

"It's okay," Paige said, grabbing her girlfriend under the arm, allowing her to ease her weight onto her, keeping her from dropping her head under water. "I got you."

Once they got to waist deep water, Paige took the initiative, using her arm that wasn't supporting Emily's back to tug under her legs, pulling her firmly up into her arms and carrying her until they were almost out of the water.

"Look at you go," Emily said, holding her arms tight around her neck.

"I'm fine. I got this," Paige said.

Just as she had finished the sentence a heavy wave hit her in the back, catching her off guard. She stumbled forward, and they both toppled into the sand. Once the surprise had worn off, Paige took a deep breath, looking at Emily who was lying underneath her:

"Okay, maybe I didn't have it."

They looked at each other and exploded into laughter. Between gasps of genuine glee, Paige cupped the raven haired woman's face and suddenly became silent.

"Something wrong?" Emily asked.

Paige didn't say anything. Instead she dipped her head down and captured Emily's lips in a deep, breathtaking kiss. They both felt it, that she knew. Like electricity shooting through their veins, they moved against one another, desire seeping through every pore. Paige tore her shirt off, helping Emily getting hers off. She felt their bodies touching, and her mind was filled with white blistering light as she pushed herself hungrily against the other woman. The tides tugged at them but Paige wouldn't have noticed if it had been a tiny wave or a full blown tsunami. All that mattered was the woman lying below her, whispering encouraging words to her, connecting their bodies together, filling her with divine jubilation.

* * *

The two women found public showers in a nearby facility and rinsed off, before settling for some gym attire that Paige kept in the trunk of her car. They drove back into town, the sun casting a gentle glow on their wet hair, and hands that they tangled together as they waited on a red light close to Emily's street.

"Should we go back to my place?" Paige asked. "I know we got some shut eye in the car but you must be tired."

"I'd love nothing more," Emily said, smiling. "I just need to grab a couple of books from my house and a change of clothes. I still have some things I need to study for before the weekend is over."

"And I'd like nothing more than to help you," Paige said sincerely before allowing her eyes to wander down Emily's body. "In between other things."

Emily laughed and rewarded the other woman with a deep kiss. A car behind them honked impatiently, the driver gesturing towards the light which had already turned green.

"Someone's in a hurry," Paige remarked and hit the gas.

"I'm not," Emily said. "I want to take all the time in the world with you. I'm glad to have you back Paige."

"I'm glad to be back," Paige responded. "Here. With you. And I'm not going anywhere. Thank you, for the things that you did for me. I don't think you realize how much it meant for me."

Emily stroked her cheek gently:  
"For us. I guess sometimes things end up working alright."

"Sometimes," Paige remarked. "When nobody's looking."

They were approaching Emily's apartment, but before they reached the house, Paige started slowing down, coming to a halt before they reached their destination.

"What is it?" Emily asked, turning to Paige with a puzzled look.

"Uh oh," Paige said, gesturing towards the street in front of them. A small figure appeared from the shadow in the driveway, pulling their dark hood from their head, revealing short, spiky, blond hair. "Whatever it is… I don't think it can be good."


	60. Chapter 60: Friend or Foe?

Once Emily realized who was standing in her driveway her survival instinct immediately kicked in. She remembered everything her dad had taught her about how it was best to react to an unknown, possibly threatening personnel. It was those lessons which had managed to let her calm Charlotte down so many years ago when she was revealed as A. She didn't threaten her with the consequences of her actions, instead she had opted for sympathizing with her and assuring her that she didn't want to do anything that could hurt her sister. She unbuckled her seatbelt, and ever so slowly, she got out of the car.

"Hey there, she said, holding her hands with the palms slightly raised, showing that she wasn't about to attempt anything. She heard Paige getting out of the driver seat, the sound of her slow movements implying that she was following Emily's lead. "My name is Emily."

"I know," the person said.

" _I bet you do,_ " Emily said but held her tongue, trying to find something else to say. "What's your name?" When the other person stayed silent she opted for another tactic. "Have you been standing out here for a long time? I bet you're cold, am I right? I was just about to go inside and make some coffee for me and Paige. Do you want to join us for a cup?"

If her apartment had been crammed with two people, it was like sardines in a can with three. Emily busied herself with setting three cups out, all of her cups, and spooning powdered coffee into them while the kettle whistled next to her. Paige was sitting on her sofa bed, the blond on one of her folding chairs. For such a small space they were keeping as much distance as humanly possible.

"Here you go," Emily said, passing one cup to the blond. "I'm sorry, it's not the highest grade. It's instant."

"It's better than what you get in prison," the blond muttered, sipping slowly from the cup. They turned their head up, smiling. "It's good. Thank you."

Paige's head had shot up during the first remark and she treated a glance with Emily as she was passed the other cup. Was that remark serious, or meant as a joke? She turned around, looking the blond up and down. They seemed changed somehow, the former aggressive, animalistic pose that they had on in earlier encounters completely missing. Instead they seemed defeated somehow, like all wind had been knocked out of them.

"Listen," Emily said after they had sat around in silence for a while. "You don't have to tell us your name if you don't want to. But help us out here. We are in the dark. And I have a feeling that you might be able to help us, if nothing else, to get some direction. We are begging you. You are our only hope."

The blond took their time digesting that information. Finally, at a point where Emily had started to feel that this had all been done in vain, they spoke up:

"My name is Jamie Batista. I don't know where I was born. Or to whom. But I do know that I was left at a Fire Station in Philly when I was maybe two years old and was adopted not long after that by my parents, Felix and Maria Batista. That was in 1999."

"Were they the ones that sent you to True Direction?" Paige, who had not spoken until now, asked.

"I was never at True Direction," Jamie replied, looking down into her lap. "But somebody I care about an awful lot was." their head shot up, looking Paige directly in the eye. "And you were too."

Paige's eyebrows shot up to her hair roots and her mouth dropped open.

"It can't be," she said.

"You better believe it," Jamie said, smirking a little.

"The gardeners, at the Huffman's manor. You-you were their kid, weren't you?"

"That's right," Jamie said. "I remember you. You sometimes came over, first with your dad. Then there was that one time that you came along. I remember how much time you spent with Mr. Huffman that summer. I think I was twelve. But I knew, I just knew, that they were taking it to that place. Linn also said that. I remember, even though we were so small, I could hear fear in her voice when she said the name. 'Paige has gone to True Direction. Willingly.'"

"But Linn was so young back then," Paige said. "She was Huffman's younger daughter. She was only…"

"Twelve. Just like me. But she knew. And I think, even at that point, she knew that if he was ever to find out about us, he would do the same to her."

"So I take it that you and Linn, you were more than friends?" Emily asked.

"We were," Jamie said. "And Mr Hoffman, he took that away from me. He took everything away from me."

 **Author's Notes: Hey, so I know that this chapter is a little short, but I either had to cut it here or way longer down the road and in that case you would have had to wait a lot longer for a new update. I am getting my mojo back on which means I will hopefully be able to start updating more often and give you guys regular updates. This chapter sort of opens up to the next one which will explain things more thoroughly. Once again, thank you for reading and know that I appreciate all reviews.**


	61. Chapter 61: Jamie's Tale: the beginning

Emily's apartment was so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Jamie took a deep breath, composing herself. She stood up and leaned against the wall, wetting her lips. Emily took the chance to scoot up next to Paige, who leaned against her, their bodies both bracing for whatever was to come.

"I remember the first time I met her. It was when we were ten. My parents had just started working for the Huffman's. Talked about what a wonderful opportunity it was, since it came with a small cabin at the edge of the property. But we didn't meet through our parents. Mine were still unpacking and would start working right away, and Mr. Huffman was away on one of his long business trips."

"And Mrs. Huffman?" Emily asked.

"Mrs. Huffman died when Jill and Linn were very young. In some ways the girls were brought up more by their nannies and house staff than their father," Jamie answered. "I had just passed my first week at school, and the others weren't very welcoming to me. During the first day it was nasty glares, in the middle of the week they stole my lunch, and when the week was coming to an end they chased me home."

 _Jamie felt how the air burned into her lungs. She passed the corner of one of the last buildings at the edge of the town and took a sharp left, slipping slightly, the heel of her palm tearing up as she fought to maintain her balance, knowing that if she slowed down they would catch her. She saw the green fields not too far ahead and wondered if she jumped into them if she would be able to lose them in the large bushes. She realized the error of getting distracted from her sprint as soon as her leg hit uneven ground. Before she was even able to register completely what was happening she lost her balance and soared into the air. She bit back tears as she heard the four kids closing in on her, not daring to look up. But suddenly there were footsteps behind her. She turned around to see a girl her age trotting up. She was alone, but there was something about the way that she walked, like a lioness. She owned this scene, and if the halt in step from the other four was any indication, they knew so as well._

 _"Four against one Kowanski, that's a little over the top don't you think," she said, closing in on their leader. "But then again, that has always been your style."_

 _"Butt out of this Huffman!" the boy barked, obviously angered by the other girl's presence. "This isn't any of your business."_

 _"Well, here you are, chasing down some poor kid who I bet ain't ever did you nothing, and you go lecturing me about what's my business. Doesn't that strike you as strange?"_

 _The boy's tongue seemed to fumble. He took a step forward, seemingly trying to take an aggressive stance:  
"Get out of here Huffman, I'm not going to say it again."_

 _"You won't have to Kowanski, because you're not going to want to. Because if you do, then I might be forced to recount something those friends of yours are going to be awful curious to hear," she lowered her voice, leaning towards the boy. "You know, that Sunday at church, at the start of last summer, when you thought nobody saw what you were doing…"_

 _A deep red flushed over the boy's face, and he took a couple of steps back:  
"Come on guys. Of course Linn had to ruin all the fun."_

 _Once the kids were out of earshot, the strange girl turned towards Jamie. She gave her her hand and pulled the other girl up from the dirt:  
"Don't worry about those guys. Their attention spans are not long enough to seek vengeance. They will have forgotten you even exist in a couple of weeks."_

 _"Thanks."_

 _"What's your name?"_

 _"Jamie."_

 _"I never know if that's a girl's name or a boy's name…"_

 _"Does it matter. It's just Jamie."_

 _"Fair enough just Jamie. I'm Linn Huffman."_

"She always had cheek," Jamie said, chuckling a little bit. "Even when she was very young. Always had a comeback ready for every comment she got. We started hanging out, not long after that. She checked in on me a couple of times, checking to see if my arm which she had patched up wasn't healing well. And after that she just stopped looking for excuses. The cabin which my parents had, had two exits and one of them was in my room, so sometimes she'd just pop in unannounced, plop down on my bed and ask me if I had read any good books lately. To anyone else this might have probably looked foreign. We didn't even rub elbows at school. She had a well established group of friends, from similarly prestigious families, and I mostly kept to myself, all though eventually I would have a few acquaintances. It was like our little secret. Once we high school began I would start return her favor of turning up unannounced, usually with an excuse in case I ran into her folks. I was repairing a broken heater for helping her set up a new shelf. We'd talk about school, her after school activities, the job I had just started at a local garage, anything really. If somebody would have asked me if we were friends, I honestly don't know what I would have said. We weren't friends, at least in the official sense. But we had a connection of a sort. My day would always become better when I heard a knock on my door once I was home from work. I always teased her that she had my work schedule memorized, and she would laugh at me saying 'you wish!', but she didn't exactly deny it either."

Now it was Emily's turn to smile. She looked up at Paige, thinking how that it seemed inevitable that this happened in every meaningful relationship. How she had herself been on so persistent at times, both as a teenager and an adult that she and Paige should just be friends. But no matter how hard she tried, there always seemed to be some invisible thread pulling them back together.

"Some people you just can't seem to stay away from," Paige said, returning Emily's smile.

"I guess that's true. We didn't talk about what was happening. Linn started spending the night sometimes. My room didn't have enough space to fit a mattress on the floor so she'd stay in my bed with me. I remember telling myself that was something friends just did and that if I had more girl friends I would do that with them too. I felt her snuggle against me some nights, and I would turn around to hold her close. I wondered if she was doing this because she seemed lonely, but that didn't sound right. She had plenty of friends, and she could have dated any boy, at school or elsewhere that she wanted to. But I had to tell myself something. And I often wonder if she did too. Then came our freshman year homecoming."

"There is no place like homecoming," Emily muttered.

"I wasn't planning on going. Nobody was pressing me to go. I hung out more with the guys at the garage than I did with anybody at school anyway and I had gotten an offer to work a shift that night which I accepted. I was telling Linn not to worry about it, that I didn't even have anything to wear and that I didn't like the band that was playing, but I hoped that she would have a good time with her friends. It was then that she told me that she told me that she was actually going with a boy. His name was Roy and he was in her church group. Something about knowing that just made my blood boil."

"You were jealous?" Paige asked.

"I didn't realize it at that point. I just, somehow couldn't handle it. I came by their house to return a book she had lent me for school and I saw her walking down the stairs. Jill, her older sister was taking pictures, telling her that she would treasure these photos forever. She turned towards me and asked me 'doesn't she look pretty?' and the first thing I thought was 'Pretty isn't the word. She's beautiful.' But I didn't say it. I just put down the book and was about to leave. Before I left Jill insisted to get one photo of me. She had just ordered one of those polaroid cameras online and was really going crazy with it. So I accepted, thanked her for the photo and stuck it in my pocket. I went to work, trying to take my mind of the fact that Linn was going to spend the night, dancing with somebody else, that Roy boy, and I couldn't understand why that made my heart hurt so much. I couldn't get my head around it."

"I understand," Paige said. "What happened then?"

"At the end of the night I got my cell phone back from my locker. They didn't allow me to have it on my during my shifts. It was then that I noticed that I had a missed call from her. I thought it was weird, but I decided to call her back. She told me, a long time after that, that the fact that I decided to do that changed everything. For her. For me. For us."

 **Author's Notes: I realize that it must be frustrating only to get one part of the story at this point, but I'm trying to update more frequently and by doing that I have to write shorter segments each time. But worry not, you will get to know what happens after this cliffhanger as soon as possible. In the meantime, thanks for tuning in :).**


	62. Chapter 62: Jamie's Story: The Promise

_Jamie turned on the wipers and pushed the gas down a little more aggressively. Without any warning, rain had started to pour down from the sky. She pulled up her phone, dialing Linn's number and being met yet again with a monotonous noise that the recipient could not be reached at this time. She bit her lip._

 _"Damn it Linn," she hissed. "What is up with you tonight?"_

 _Once Jamie had been able to retrieve her phone, Linn already wasn't picking up hers anymore. After a time that seemed like ages, she finally reached the school's parking lot. It was then that she noticed her best friend, standing like an object out of place next to the dumpsters. Without saying another word she got her jacket off, ran up to her friend and pulled it over her shoulders:_

 _"Come on, it's freezing. My car is warm. Let's get you in."_

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _The first couple of minutes in the car passed in stony silence. Once they were out of the more heavily populated area Jamie couldn't hold it in any longer._

 _"What happened Linn?"_

 _But Linn didn't respond. Instead she just stared with an empty gaze out the window. Jamie took a left and pulled up behind an abandoned building. It was the start of the gigantic lot that the Huffman's property was_

 _"Linn, I want to help, but I'll need you to talk to me."_

 _"I don't know if there is anything to say," Linn mumbled, barely audible._

 _"But something must have happened. I saw you coming down that stair tonight. You were beaming. And then I suddenly get a voicemail from you several hours later bawling your eyes out. So forgive me for assuming that something must have happened."_

 _When she was met with silence she continued, inquiring further into the matter:  
"Was it Roy? Did he… did he try to do something that you weren't okay with. Because if he did, I swear, I will kill him."_

 _"No!" Linn said, much too loud. "Roy didn't do anything. He picked me up. He gave me a corsage, told me how pretty I looked."_

 _"And once you got to the dance?"_

 _"The band was cheesy, he got me some punch, we danced to some upbeat songs…"_

 _"And then…"_

 _"And then I… He…"_

 _Suddenly, Linn unbuckled her seat belt and bolted out of the car in one quick motion._

 _"Linn, wait!" Jamie yelled, jumping after her. She got caught on her seat belt and once she had managed to untangle the mess the other girl was already some yards ahead of her. She sprinted after her, almost toppling over the other girl who had come to a standstill next to a large oak tree._

 _"Remember when you took me here for the first time?" Jamie asked, trying to find a topic of conversation that wouldn't scare the other girl off. "You told me that if I would accompany you to the end of the property you would show me…"_

 _"...the tree that was so big that it ended in the clouds," Linn said, smiling at the memory._

 _"And when I asked you 'But have you ever climbed to the top of the tree?' you told me 'No, no. I couldn't do that. It's way too high.' But I just told you 'No it isn't.'"_

 _"Not if you take it one step at a time," Linn said, smiling. "And you were right."_

 _"Listen Linn, you're my best friend. And I know that I can't make you tell me anything that you don't want to. But I still want you to know that there will never be anything that you can't tell me."_

 _"Promise?"_

 _"I promise. Do you want to tell me what happened with Roy tonight?"_

 _"Well, the music got slower, and he put his arms around me, and I just couldn't stand it. It all felt so… false."_

 _"What do you mean?" Jamie asked, not really knowing what answer she was going to get._

 _"What do you mean 'what do I mean'?" Linn asked, suddenly taken aback. "Jeez, you just don't get it Jamie, do you?"_

 _"Maybe I don't," Jamie spat back, feeling defensive. She felt her temper get the better of her and couldn't stop herself: "I might just be a simpleton when it comes to matters like that, but I don't really understand you sometimes Linn. You get all dolled up to go to a dance, make yourself so pretty that I feel like some sort of a hand me down when I run into you. And you seem to have managed to dazzle a boy with that. And I might be uncivilized Linn, but I'm not deaf. I've heard how the girls whisper about him. About how he's 'such a catch'. But now you're telling me that he felt 'false'? So, if he's false, then what is real Linn? Can you tell me that?"_

 _There was a silence that followed the last question, and once she saw movement with the other girl, she couldn't help but wonder if she had messed it up for good, this few-and-far-between good thing that she had going on in her life. But instead of moving away, the other girl leaned in and brushed her lips against Jamie's, who felt the warmth of her breath against her lips. Without giving it another thought, she closed the distance between them._

 _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

 _Jamie jogged up the stairs in the Huffman's mansion. She had said farewell to Jill and Mr. Huffman, who had announced that they were off to town to take care of some things before Jill had to drive back to university. Mr. Huffman had remarked how pleased he was that Roy had driven Linn back home at an acceptable time last night, "like a real gentleman ought to do". She knocked lightly on her door, and then let herself inside._

 _"Is that you Jill? I thought you were out already?" she heard Linn's voice. "I told you I'm not coming with you. I'm not feeling too well."_

 _"Relax," Jamie said, smiling. "I watched them speed out of the driveway. Your dad told me to give warm regards to Roy, by the way, for driving you home and all."_

 _"I have never been so thankful that the driveway is not lit up well enough," Linn said, sitting upright in her bed. "Please tell your father to put that at the very bottom of his to-do list."_

 _"Aren't you scared that Roy will rat you out?"_

 _"Then he'd have to admit that I ran out on him into the dark and he let me," Linn said, returning a weak smile. "Never underestimate a boy's need to save face. And his own skin."_

 _"I won't."_

 _A silence brewed between them, and Jamie bit her lip, not really knowing how to get to the words that she came to deliver. It was then that Linn decided to take the initiative._

 _"Jamie, I'm so sorry if what I did last night was out of place. I understand if you feel like I overstepped some sort of boundary and if you feel like you might want to back away and get more space… I understand." Her voice betrayed her, the hurt of the thought of this being a fluke shining through, but nonetheless she delivered her speech with as much courage as she could muster, like she felt it needed to be out there. "I will also understand if you do not want to associate with me anymore, after what I… unveiled to you."_

 _Jamie sat down on the bed, tentatively reaching for the other girl's hand, which she could feel now, was trembling:_

 _"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. And in case you didn't notice, I kissed you back. And I would do it again."_

 _"Are you serious?"_

 _"Like a heart attack," and without further ado, Jamie leaned in, confirming what she had just said to be true. Once they broke the kiss, Jamie saw something familiar from the corner of her eye:_

 _"You got that thing framed already?" she asked, amazed._

 _"Ugh, I can't stand to look at it," Linn said, gesturing towards the photo of her in the homecoming dress from the night before. "Jill brought it in. Insisted that I had looked stunning. That mom would have been so proud."_

 _"She would. And I agree with your sister. You looked magnificent."_

 _"I can't help but feel that it was all a facade."_

 _"What happened afterwards wasn't a facade."_

 _"Yes, but how will I recall that from seeing that?"_

 _"I have an idea," Jamie said, reaching into her back pocket, pulling out the photo that Jill had handed her the other night, sliding it behind the one in the frame. "I hope that you will always find some things to be true," she made a show of sliding the photo out so that it almost looked like the two of them were next to each other, before sliding her photo back behind the other one. "If you know the right place to look."_

"I don't really know how to explain what followed after that," Jamie said. "Because I don't really have anything to compare it to. We just took it one step after the other. One day at a time. But with every single hidden gesture, I felt like something was building up. Like, this was it. This was what the songs were about, this was the feeling that the movies were describing. And I had it, with my best friend. And I think that she could feel it too.

"What happened then?" Paige asked.

"A year passed. Another homecoming came, but this time we had made a plan. After the dance was over, Linn went home, only to sneak back out with me. I had my learner's permit already, and we drove to this shabby bar next to an underpass on the freeway. I had heard that they didn't card people there and that they were accepting to… our type of folks," Jamie cackled. "I bet it doesn't sound too romantic does it? Homecoming in a shabby bar with sticky floors and a bad lighting. But we were able to hold hands there, without having to check if anybody was looking. We danced, and we kissed, and at the end of it, Linn asked me to take her somewhere more private…"

 _The neon lights outside the window blinked with an annoying frequency. Jamie tried pulling the blinds to cover it better, but was unsuccessful. She sighed. Maybe it was to be expected, from a motel that was within her budget and didn't ask for ID at the check-in. She got back in the bed, nudging the sleeping figure, lovingly._

 _"Hey, we need to get back soon. The pillows you stuck in your bed won't be believable once someone tries to wake you up."_

 _"I know," Linn remarked, grabbing the other girl and pulling her towards her. "Don't you just wish this could last forever?"_

 _"I do," Jamie said, wishfully. "But I can't think of a way that it can."_

 _"I do," Linn said, and suddenly there wasn't fatigue in her eyes anymore. "I love you Jamie Batista. I think that in some way I always have."_

 _"Have you always known?"_

 _"A part of me has always known. But most of the time I just didn't want to know it, you know?"_

 _"I know. I think in some ways I felt the same."_

 _"You know what my dad would do if he ever found out…"_

 _"Take you to that place where he sent Paige all those years ago?"_

 _"Yes. But he wouldn't care if I was willing or not."_

 _"I can't imagine going somewhere like that willingly…"_

 _"I can't either. I can't imagine being taught that how I feel about you is wrong. How can it be? And tonight… I don't think anything has ever felt so right in my life."_

 _"Then it's settled."_

 _"Then what is settled?"_

 _"Like you said. We can't risk you being sent somewhere like that."_

 _"You don't mean to say, that this is the end for us?" Linn asked, her voice quivering with fear._

 _"Never," Jamie said, grasping her hand. "But we've gotta get out of this place. If it's the last thing we'll ever do."_

 _"You think there is a better life out there?" Linn asked._

 _"I do," Jamie said with resolute. "For me and you."_


	63. Chapter 63: Jamie's Story:a Ghastly Turn

_Jamie turned around the second she heard the knock on her door. She opened it to find a smiling Linn.  
"Hey!"_

 _"Hey. Gosh I was so afraid that you weren't going to be home."_

 _"Of course I was going to be home, just like I said. Did you get them?"_

 _"Yeah. Cost a pretty penny too," Linn said, pulling two plastic cards from her pockets._

 _"The guy is expensive, but he knows what he's doing. He uses the identities of people that actually existed."_

 _"It seems kind of iffy to be hijacking dead people's identities, doesn't it?"_

 _"They don't have any families, so nobody will be any wiser. And next year once we become of age we can start using our own again."_

 _"Whatever it takes," Linn said. "I want to do it. In order to be with you. I really do love you."_

 _"Come here," Jamie grabbed Linn and pulled her into a kiss. "I love you too."_

 _They broke the kiss once Linn saw something out of the corner of her eye:_

 _"Gosh, I can't believe you kept all of these."_

 _"Of course I did. All of them. Every-single-one," Jamie said, punctuating each word with a kiss._

 _"My little prince," Linn said, stroking Jamie's tightly cropped hair affectionately. "Anyway, I need to go now, get all my affairs in order. I'll be seeing you tonight."_

* * *

"That's who the letters were from," Emily remarked. "From Linn. Did she give you that name, the little prince?"

"Yes," Jamie said, smiling at the comment. "She had this book when she was a kid by the same name, and she used to say that I always seemed like I was flung out of space." She paused, composing herself:  
"Have you ever wondered in retrospect what you would have done, if you knew at a certain point in time that the specific time in place that you were seeing a person, that it was the last time you'd ever see them? Have you ever asked yourself if you would have done something differently? Hugged them one more time? Stolen one more kiss? Told them that you loved them one last time?"

"All the time," Emily said, her voice quivering. She felt Paige reaching out, grabbing her had, giving her strength.

"We had been planning our escape for more than a year. Ever since the moment that Linn told me, that night at the motel room. My parents were away for the weekend with their friends and I had gotten out of going with them by telling them that I had to work, and Mr. Huffman was visiting Jill at university to help her prepare for her graduation. She was graduating with a Juris Doctor with honors and Linn was suppose to fly over in a couple of days in order to join them for the ceremony," Jamie sighed. "Look, I know what you're about to say. What we were doing was inherently selfish. Just leaving without a word, no explanation. I had written a letter to my parents, telling them not to come after me, that I was very sorry and that someday I would be able to explain everything to them. I also planned to call them every once in a while, let them know I was okay. And Linn was going to do the same; let her sister know enough so she'd know she was okay, not enough so they'd be able to find us."

"We're not judging you Jamie," Paige stated. "And we aren't going to. Mr. Huffman is a very powerful and influential man. I should know. After I came out to my family, my father left the ministry and applied for a more tolerant one, even though he had mostly lost contact with Mr. Huffman at that point, he was still afraid of repercussion, even though we didn't even live in the same state as him anymore. Fortunately there were none."

"Huffman probably had bigger fish to fry," Jamie remarked, her voice becoming deadpan cold. "Closer to home too."

"Jamie, what happened that day?"

"We wanted to make sure that no warning bells were raised anywhere so that by the time anybody realized that we were gone we would already be in the wind. So in order not to raise suspicion I would show up for my shift that evening. After that I was supposed to pick Linn up and we would start our escape. Nobody would be any wiser until Sunday, when Linn was supposed to arrive at Jill's university graduation."

"How did she get out of going with Mr. Huffman to begin with?"

"She feigned feeling sick so he delayed her ticket for a couple of days in order for her to be well before the ceremony itself. She was so committed to her role that she even took some syrup of ipecac and had spent the night before puking her guts out until Mr. Huffman delayed her ticket. By Friday she was fine again and was suppose to meet me at the house once I was done working."

"Did she show up?" Emily asked.

"I don't know," Jamie sniffed quietly. "I never made it back."

"What happened?" Paige asked.

"When I got off work and got into my car I felt like something was off. I had just gotten that car a year before but I had worked my ass off to be able to afford it and taken care of every single detail of it myself. It was like my baby. But I was so excited to see Linn, so nervous to set the plan in motion. I should have known that something was about to go wrong. Should have been more careful. How foolish I was…"

* * *

" _Is there a problem officer?" Jamie asked, in a calmly manner. She gave the uniform clad man her best Sunday-smile._

" _Your right tail light is busted mam," the police officer remarked. "You need to get that taken care off."_

" _I will get to it first thing tomorrow morning," Jamie said. "Scouts' honor."_

" _I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle mam."_

 _Jamie could feel the uneasy feeling building up in her stomach, but nonetheless she obeyed, fearing more repricution if she didn't._

" _Please put your arms up mam. Because of the suspicious smell my partner is going to search the car."_

" _Smell? What smell?" Jamie asked, turning around a little too abruptly for the officer's liking._

" _Careful there miss," the officer said. "I don't want to write you up for resisting."_

" _Resisting what am I supposed to be resisting?" Jamie asked, growing increasingly annoyed._

 _The other officer came walking back, waving a bag that Jamie didn't recognize._

"Illegal substances. _More than a consumer's dosage sir."_

 _"Mam, I'm going to have to ask you to put your hands behind your back."_

 _"Substances? What do you mean substances?" Jamie asked, walking towards the other officer to get a better look at the bag. "That's not mine! You must have put it there. This is a framing! I'm being framed!"_

 _She suddenly felt the sturdy hands of the first officer who grabbed her and twisted her hands behind her back, forcing her down to the ground._

 _"Stop it! Stop it!" she yelled. "This isn't suppose to happen!"_

* * *

"They 'found' three different types of narcotics in the back of my car," Jamie remarked. "Oxy, some amphetamines and a hefty dose of weed, which they claimed that the smell was coming from."

"Do you have any idea where that stuff came from?" Paige asked.

"Of course not!" Jamie spat. "I had never seen that stuff before in my life. Never touched that type of stuff. That's what I told them at the interrogation. I offered them to check me. Sample my urine, my hair, whatever it took to prove that I had never used that stuff. But they claimed that I could still be a dealer."

"Who do you think put it there?" Emily asked.

"My best guess?" Jamie said. "Mr. Huffman's goons. He has immense pull within the police where we're from. It would not be hard for him to get a couple of cops to incriminate someone that he told them needed to be off the street. But of course, at that point, that idea hadn't even entered my mind."

"So, what did you do?" Paige asked

"I had a court appointed lawyer that frankly wasn't very good at his job. But he managed to get me a plea deal. Five years in juvie. But it would get taken off my record once I got out, since it wasn't an adult sentence. So I jumped on the chance. I got off after three years, for good behavior. I hadn't heard from Linn during all of that time. I kind of assumed that her family didn't want her to fraternize with criminals so they were keeping her away from me, but I tried to remain focused, knowing what we had promised one another. The only difference would be that this time we would be of age, so we wouldn't need to disappear. My parents told me that they had gotten laid off and had to relocate to Texas for work. I told them that I would join them soon enough, but that there was something I needed to do first. Linn wasn't answering any calls on her old number so I figured I should just go to the Huffman mansion."

"What did you find once you got there?"

"It was so weird. There was nobody home, so I snuck in. I found her room the exact same way that it was the last time that I was there, which was so weird. Except for a small ring that was laid on her nightstand. Exactly like the one that you showed me back at the hospital."

"So that must mean…" Paige said, frowning.

"That they sent her to True Direction. Yeah. I figured. But the thing is, the more I searched, the less I found. It is like she just fell off the face of the earth. I was truly at the end of my rope, when I received a mysterious package. It was addressed to me but sent to my parents' address so whoever sent it must have known about their new situation. It had a photo of Linn. I don't know when it was taken, but she had a haircut that I had never seen her with, so it must have meant that it was taken some time after I got put in Juvie. It also had one of the letters that she had written me. I had found no traces of them once I had gotten out of Juvie and my parents had no idea what letters I was talking about. A message in the package promised me that I would be getting more information in due time. But in order to get more of what was lost to me, I had to do exactly what they said."

"And did that include stalking me?" Paige asked.

"Yes, actually. I was suppose to document your every move. Every time that I gave information about you, I'd get one of the letters that Linn had written to me. A little piece of her, given back to me. My mystery sender told me that it was an exercise in 'cutting you down to size'."

"What was the final goal of that?" Emily asked.

"To have you in a way that would make you surrender completely any information that the person in charge of this whole thing wanted to know. And once you had reached that state and surrendered yourself to me, I was supposed to deliver you to them. And then I would receive my final reward."

"And you thought that I was at that stage when I came to meet you?"

"Yes. With all of my heart I believed that. I thought that they would get whatever they needed out of you and I would at least get to know what happened to my Linn." There was a moment of silence. "This might come off as cruel, but for what it's worth I know I should be truthful to you. I am incredibly sorry for the distress that I have caused you. I truly am. But I would do it again. Because there is nothing I would not do in order to know what happened to my Linn."

Emily leaned back on her bed, fatigue settling in her bones. Paige had in a very gentlemanly gesture offered to walk Jamie out, but they made a deal to meet again at Paige's apartment that evening. She thought about what Jamie had said, about the pain that so obviously accompanied her story. And it made her consider, what if her own story had gone the same way. She had never expected that Paige would find her way back to her life, but now once it had happened, she couldn't imagine her life any other way. But what if it hadn't happened? And worse, what if Paige's fate had been the same as Linn's? How would she have lived with the idea that a person that was so important to her, had just disappeared off the face of the earth. She thought back to what Jamie had said.

" _Have you ever wondered in retrospect what you would have done, if you knew at a certain point in time that the specific time in place that you were seeing a person, that it was the last time you'd ever see them? Have you ever asked yourself if you would have done something differently? Hugged them one more time? Stolen one more kiss? Told them that you loved them one last time?"_

She thought back to the airport, where she had bought a 69 dollar ticket for Atlantic City, just so she would get to see Paige one more time. Even though she had fought it for the last six years, she was ready to admit to herself at this point that without even attempting to, she had played that last moment in her head countless times over the years. The way that Paige's long hair had reflected the light as she walked to her gate, trying not to look back. What if that had been the last time that she had seen her? What if that was the last moment that she would have to relive over and over again, wondering if she would still be there if she had done something differently? Emily swallowed; she had made a decision.

She heard the noise of Paige shutting the door and her footsteps as she approached.

"That was… quite something," Paige said, sitting back down on the bed. "Do you want to talk about it Em?"

"We're going to have to," Emily said. "And you might not like what I'm about to tell you. I think we should help her Paige. And yes, I know that she has spent the last year and a half putting you through incomprehensible torment, but the thing is I just can't imagine…"

"I was actually thinking the same thing," Paige said.

"That's very generous of you," Emily said, knowing herself very well how hard it was to make peace with someone that had previously tormented you.

"Don't give me a medal just yet," Paige said. "There is something that you need to know. Four years ago, when I was doing my undergraduate I got a phone call. It was from Linn. I didn't pick up and it got put on my voicemail. She told me that she needed to talk to me, about something regarding True Direction. I didn't call her back. Until now I always thought that she believed in what they were claiming that people like us can be fixed, and she was trying to get me onboard believing that my willingness to go there meant that I had become a 'success story' for her father's enterprise. Believing that, I obviously didn't call her back…"

"My god…" Emily muttered.

"What if I could have changed what happened, if I had just called her back?"

"Paige, it wasn't your fault."

"I know it wasn't. To some extent. But I have to make it right. Because, if I stand by and don´t do anything, I will be just as guilty as everyone else that has looked the other way."

"Paige, you are not going to help Jamie," Emily said, grasping her girlfriend's hands in hers.. "We are."

 **Author's Notes: So, in case somebody is having a little trouble with the timeline, I've decided to break the events of the story, and how they align with the cannon up to 6B. If there are any further questions or something about the timeline isn't clear, don't hesitate to leave a comment and I will respond in the most spoiler-free manner possible.  
**

 **1991: Jill Huffman is born**

 **1994: The Liars and Paige are born.**

 **1997: Jamie and Linn Huffman are born.**

 **1999: Jamie is left at a Fire Station and is subsequently adopted by Mr and Mrs Batista.**

 **2007: Jamie and Linn become friends.**

 **2012: Paige leaves for California. Ce-Ce is exposed as A. The Liars graduate and Emily goes to Pepperdine for university. A heartbroken Paige meets Kat for the first time at a frat party and they become friends. Linn kisses Jamie after her Freshman Homecoming, they start dating.**

 **2013: Linn and Jamie have their junior 'Homecoming' and start making plans to run away.**

 **2014: Jamie gets put into juvie.**

 **2017: Paige and Kat graduate from Stanford (MSc). Kat gets attacked by her ex and Paige defends her. Jamie gets out of Juvie, gets the instruction to stalk Paige with promise of information about Linn. Emily comes back to Rosewood and 'Five years later' starts. Paige starts receiving the letters.**

 **2018: Labour Day: Ezra gets unveiled as the A-mastermind. Alison dies. Emily goes back to Pepperdine. Paige starts a guest-year for her doctorate in Pepperdine, along with working at under. Dr. Rolandson. Paige and Emily meet again.**


	64. Chapter 64: Sacramento

Emily was jolted awake. At first she didn't remember where she was but it quickly came back to her. She was in the back of a bus, going to Sacramento where there was a swimming competition happening. Despite having planned to go there a day earlier, there had been an abrupt change of plans after a phone call she had received just as about she was packing her bags on Friday. The person on the other end was a distressed Grace, telling her that a family emergency had come up and that she would unfortunately have to forego the competition.

 _"Don't apologize Grace. It's your family. You need to be with them at this difficult time. But why do you want me to replace you as captain for this competition. Surely, there are other girls that have been longer on the team than I have."_

 _"That's true. But none of them have experience as a captain."_

 _"That was a dozen years ago," Emily said, feeling the insecurity sneak upon her. "A lot has changed since then."_

 _"That is something that doesn't change," Grace assured her. "Believe you me. I was a sore loser back in Birchwood, and I still am now. So you better get out there and do your best. I believe in you."_

Emily looked around in the bus. Most of the other girls were either napping or listening to music, getting themselves into the mindset for the competition that afternoon no doubt. She would leave them to that for the time being, knowing that once they arrived at the California State University she would have to fire up the old flames of her team captain spirit. But that was then and this was now, and for the moment she couldn't help letting her mind wander to Paige who had left for Sacramento the day before for a much different business.

* * *

Paige fiddled with the napkin lying on her plate, anxiously turning around every time that she heard the door open and shut. Finally, she noticed someone approaching her table with a purpose that wasn't clad in the blue and and white attire of the servers; she looked up to see a strawberry blond woman, giving her a beaming smile:

"Paige McCullers?"

"Jill Huffman," Paige said, standing up, accepting a hug and a kiss on the cheek from the other woman before they both sat down again.

"Gosh, it's been ages, hasn't it?"

"More than ten years."

"Yeah. You never came back to us after that summer after your freshman year. Dad didn't mention your dad a lot after that."

"Yeah. I guess they fell out of touch."

"We have so much to catch up on."

"Don't I know it."

* * *

The meal progressed in a relatively natural manner. Paige offered her official reasoning for being in Sacramento: a conference along with a cocktail night with some fellow Phd students which were working on similar projects. So far Jill seemed interested and genuine. She talked about having gotten married and the joyous and sometimes challenging life of juggling her career as a lawyer and raising two children. Paige noticed that she didn't mention Linn, nor did she mention her father.

Finally she couldn't resist and fumbled, trying to get to her question as politely as she could:

"So, do you mind me asking what Mr. Huffman thinks of your work as a lawyer. Does it still align with the type of ideology that he is so passionate about."

"In all honesty I'm not quite sure," Jill said. "It's sort of weird telling you this, seeing that I haven't see you in so long, but I just feel that I can trust you Paige. You know what it was like up there, at the manor, in our neighborhood."

"I remember."

"I used to believe everything that he said. His word was like my gospel. And pleasing him wasn't that hard. I studied, I went to my bible lessons, I hummed along his dislike of this and that group. I didn't really think that there was any other way of living. But then I accepted a job position in San Francisco and there was like this whole new world just opened up to me. A world where my father wasn't always right. We still stayed in some contact of course, but I guess that in some ways, the chasm between us grew with each year. But despite of that I felt myself growing, as a person, more than I had felt at any other point in my life."

"I understand," Paige said.

"Besides, he knew that I never agreed with him on where she had decided to send Linn. I mean, he said she was troubled, but I still think it's something that could have been solved at home."

"Where did he send her?"

"True Directions. It was a facility he had founded, that was suppose to help kids that had behavioral problems."

Paige drew in a deep breath:

"Jill, there is something I need to tell you. About your father. And about True Directions. I don't think you're going to like it."

* * *

Jill's mouth hung agape, so low that Paige was pretty sure that it was going to hit the table at any given moment. In order to move the conversation along a little she decided to pay the check and motioned Jill outside, giving them both some much needed fresh air.

"I know this might come off as a shock…" Paige said.

"Shock doesn't even begin to cover it," Jill said. "I wish you would have told me Paige. I know that I was older and probably had my head smack full at that time with dreams of boys and exciting university years but you shouldn't have had to go through that alone."

"I used to feel very alone. But I don't feel alone anymore," Paige said, reassuringly. "My father even warmed to it. Eventually."

"I wish I could say that about our father," Jill said. "But he's as steady fast as the Golden Gate Bridge. I hope that you're happy now Paige. And that you have succeeded in finding all the happiness that place tried to deprive you of."

At that moment Paige suddenly caught a glance at a clock that was hanging on a building next to them, realizing that there was somewhere that she had to be. She was about to make her excuses and run off when she had a change of heart:

"Do you mind coming with me? There is somebody that I want you to meet."

* * *

Emily hugged the final cheering swimmer in her team, gathering them all in a circle where they all joined their hands before pumping them victoriously in the air. The tournament had been a success, and one swimmer had even broken her own record.

"Great work everyone," Emily said.

"You weren't so bad yourself," Kayla remarked. "I can see why Grace was so psyched about getting you on the team. We were going to go get some milkshakes to celebrate. It sounds cheesy but Jenny says there is a place she knows that is just out of this world."

"I'll be right with you," Emily said, glancing over at where she had spotted Paige on the bleachers before. "Just text me the address and I'll be there before you have made up your mind about your order."

"Hey! Many choices make me nervous," Kayla said in a mocking angry tone and punches Emily on the shoulder. "See you around Fields."

Emily walked over to Paige, hugging her sincerely and giving her a kiss.

"You did it!" Paige shrieked.

"No, we did it."

"That's such a captain thing to say. No 'I' in 'team' and all that," Paige said. It was then when Emily noticed a woman standing next to them. "Oh, before I forget. This is Linn. Linn Huffman. My childhood friend. I might have told you about her."

"Yeah, I think you did at some point," Emily said, playing along. "Hi. I'm Emily Fields."

"Pleasure to meet you," Jill said, shaking her hand. "Congratulations. I knew you had to be something special in order to dazzle Paige, but fronting a whole swim team…"

"...it's just temporary. Our captain had an emergency," Emily filled in.

"Talented and modest," Jill said. "You really know how to pick them."

"I guess I do," Paige said, dipping her head.

The three woman walked back to the car. Jill pulled out her phone which was beeping impatiently.

"Sorry," she said. "It's just my husband getting antsy. We are taking the kids to a movie tonight."

"Nice, which one?"

"It's a rerun of that Disney movie that was popular a couple of years ago. Anna and Elsa?" Jill said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Frozen!" Paige said. "Don't worry. We'll have you back at your car in a heartbeat. But can I ask you for a favor first?"

"Sure. Shoot."

"I know that what I told you might not have been easy. But I was just wondering if you knew how I could contact Linn. I noticed she's not on Facebook. I think I might be able to help her deal with the experience that was being in True Directions."

"Oh God. We didn't get into that," Jill said, clenching her jaw. "I'm so sorry Paige."

"What are you talking about?" Paige asked, feeling as if the earth had started shifting under her feet.

"Linn died Paige. She never made it back home."


	65. Chapter 65: In the wee hours

**Author's Note I: So here is a little update for you guys. I've been feeling particularly creative this week and wrote this entire chapter in one go. On a whim.**

Paige turned around in bed for what sounded like the millionth time, letting out a frustrated sight. Emily, equally awake, turned towards her girlfriend with a concerned look.

"You can't sleep?"

"Nope. I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Don't worry. The thing that Jill told us about Linn was terrifying. I can understand if that's keeping you up."

Emily was not exaggerating at all, for even though she had never met the girl that she and Paige had so vigorously been helping Jamie to locate, it didn't make the recount of her fate any less horrifying:

 _"Linn's stay at True Direction was prolonged for another year after her initial year. Our father told me that she had agreed to it herself, and like I told you, at that point I still had faith in his every word, so I didn't question it. But then one December night, my father called me, his voice somber. It turned out that Linn had attempted to leave True Directions, and had managed to escape to a town that was in its proximity. I don't even know how she managed to get that far. She was staying in a squalor, with some homeless folks. My guess is that she didn't want to be found. But that winter was extremely frosty, so one morning when policemen were breaking up the camp, they found her there, lifeless._

 _The reason why it wasn't reported in any official media was because my father took every precaution for it not to be published. My sister was simply, wiped out, and put in the mausoleum, next to our mother. I guess now you don't require any further explanation on why I decided to cut all my ties with our childhood home and try to start anew at the other side of the country…"_

"I guess I should be thinking about that, shouldn't I?" Paige said. "Or how completely frozen Jamie seemed to become when we told her. It didn't even seem to register with her."

"It's denial. I know that feeling very well. Next will be the anger. And trust me, that will not be so frosty," Emily said. "But if you're not thinking about that, then what is on your mind?"

"What if it had been me?" Paige asked. "Not in that way. I mean, my family was not exactly accommodating when I came out to them at first but they came around. I can't imagine them having done something so dragonian to them. How does someone even do that to their own kid? But I just keep on thinking, how would it have been if this had been my life."

"A life unfinished," Emily said. "When my father died, I took comfort in the fact that at least he had lived a full life. He had a wife that adored him, a great relationship with me, with everybody in our family. And he got to spend his adult life doing what he loved. But Linn, she didn't get that…"

"She got one night in a seedy motel room," Paige said. "And some stolen kisses, coded love letters… When we were kids, she always spoke of the sea. How she wanted to swim in the ocean, sleep on the beach, wake up to the sound of birds. She deserved that. And to do that with the one that she loved."

"You're wondering how it would have been if we had never had that? This?"

"Since you've come back to my life Em, it has been like a dream come true. To be able to come home and you're there, to be able to fall asleep next to you, to wake up and you're there…"

"Well, I usually never wake up with you there, seeing how you're such an early bird," Emily said, smirking and bopping Paige's nose. "But the coffee is always deeply appreciated."

"I woke up to you a couple of days ago, and I remember just looking at you. The covers were low and I could see your chest rising and falling and the sun was shining on these gorgeous shoulders of yours," Paige said, heat rising from her face from an obvious blush which still happened after all these years. "And I just thought, what if I had never lived to see all of that? What if I had completely flaked out when I was riding back in the rain and gotten hit by a car? What if you had never made it out the Dollhouse alive? What if all I had to remember you by was a semester long relationship and that night we had at that hotel room in Easton?"

"That's a very haunting 'what if'," Emily said. "But it's not what happened. And I am going to make sure that I take every advantage of that. We are very lucky you and I. We shouldn't take what we have for granted."

"I would never do that," Paige said. "And I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel that way."

"You haven't," Emily said, cupping her girlfriend's cheek. "But I think that sometimes I have been guilty of that. You have changed my life in so many ways Paige McCullers. I don't think I'll ever be express how much in words."

"Then don't," Paige said, grabbing Emily's hand and closing the distance between them.

And in the low light of the night, Emily showed her how much she meant what she had said. But she did not express it with words. Instead her thoughts were spoken through soft whispers, gentle motions, kisses that seemed to go on for days, yet were never long enough to fully tell her how grateful she was that they had found their way back to each other's lives. It wasn't until the sun started peeking up on the sky, and the night was wiped out by the dawn, that they settled, entangled in each other arms. As Emily felt herself getting sleepier, a last thought came to her as she basked in the feeling of lying completely spent with the auburn haired woman breathing heavily, draped over her body, a last thought came to her before sleep overtook her:

"Despite all that we've been through, and all that has come before, we are the lucky ones."

 **Authors's Notes II: Sometimes a little something short and sweet is just what the doctor ordered.**


	66. Chapter 66: Seething rage

Emily pulled herself out of the pool. She had just finished an intensive two mile swim, lasting for one hour and bleeding well into the next one. It was per Grace's demand. After the victory in Sacramento, the team had suffered a rather embarrassing defeat at their hometurf. But their captain was showing no sign of defeat, demanding rigorous practices two times per day. Emily didn't mind. It could have been two miles or it could have been ten. Because being in the pool and exerting herself until she felt her muscles ache was the only time that she could free herself from thinking about the fate that Linn had suffered and how extremely defeated Jamie had become once they had broken the news to her. She and Paige had attempted to converse with the younger girl for some time, but were met by icy silence every time.

Emily had started to think that she had completely shut down, until a couple of days ago when she decided against her better judgement to visit her at the rundown drive-in where Jamie had taken up residence again. She and Paige feared for the worst when they found the shed half-open and its insides completely torn apart. There had been wallpaper scratched off the walls, a desk was turned and shredded paper lying on the floor. And in the middle of all the chaos was Jamie, kneeling down, her hands bloodied from having torn the place apart with her bare hands.

"Come here," Emily said, grabbing her hand and instructing Paige to get the other one. They led the small, increasingly frail-looking girl to the car. "We got you."

They hadn't posed any questions, which was just as well, because she did not look fit to respond to anything. They had opted for taking her to Emily's old apartment, seeing as it was empty with Emily staying with Paige.

"What does this mean Em?" Paige asked once they had said their goodbyes, with Jamie seemingly haven fallen asleep from the exhaustion.

"It means that she might be finally waking up to the rage part of her grief," Emily said. "And I can't really say that I blame her."

"I know what you mean," Paige said. "Gosh, I don't even want to find whoever hired Jamie to stalk me for giving me grief. Now I just want to get them to punish them for what they did to her."

"It's so cruel," Emily said. "Making her jump through all these hoops. Stalk people she didn't even know against her will, with the prospect of the thing that she desired the most, only to find out that she was never going to get it back."

"Hell isn't the opposite of love," Paige suddenly said. "Hell is the opposite of hope. It's the place where I used to live. From that moment that I saw Ali grab the letter that I thought I was writing to you, I was in that hell. It's not just horrible because of how much it hurts and how horrified you are…"

"...but because you believe you are never going to escape," Emily said, grabbing Paige's hand. "I know. I used to live there too. We will get her out. I promise."

"Emily. Are you there?"

Emily snapped out of her thoughts, realizing that she had stood absent minded on the bank for long enough for the chlorine to dry on her skin. She turned towards her swim team captain.

"Sorry, you were saying something?"

"I was just about to tell you that we have to forego our after swimming stretching session."

"Why?" Emily asked.

"Me and some of the other girls are going to a manifestation. There is a guest lecturer that was invited by the school board, and we don't think he should be allowed to be presented as a legitimate academic. So we're going to use our right to assimilate to make our minds be heard."

"What will he be discussing?" Emily asked, now actually curious to know what Grace and her friends were willing to spend their Saturday manifesting against.

"The choice to pursue a cure against unwanted homosexual attraction," Grace said, performing a small gag. "Can you believe that guy? And he flew all the way from Philadelphia, just to spew that bile over our school. And of course he frames it as a choice to not "lead a homosexual lifestyle", but we all know that in the sort of world order that he'd like to impose, that would be the only choice available. Anyway, I should get going."

"Grace… wait. What is the guy's name."

* * *

Paige stood up from her desk at the physical therapy, cracking her knuckle and moving her neck in soft circular motions. She had gone over Emily's exercises with her in the morning and after having dropped her girlfriend at the natatorium, she had headed straight to the office to dive head first into the paperwork which had been piling up as of lately. She heard her phone ringing and was surprised to see the raven haired woman's' profile on the screen. When they kissed goodbye in the morning they had discussed that they were both going to spend the day doing the school projects that they both had pending and were going to meet up to get dinner around seven.

"Hey Em…" Paige started but was cut off.

"Paige, you have to get down here, right now!"

"Em, what are you talking about? Is there something wrong? Did you hurt yourself training? What's going on?"

"It's Jamie," Em's frantic voice said at the other end of the line. "She's going to do something stupid. And I think I know exactly what!"


	67. Chapter 67: In the Blink of an Eye

**Paige's POV:**

Paige jumped out of her car, fearing that no matter how much she would hurry that she was going to be too late. During the ride over she had gone over everything in her mind, wondering how she could have missed the obvious signs and the dangerous components that had surrounded the entire situation with Jamie.

 _"So, the mystery person that hired you left you with my information, including the time where I was at True Directions and then they supplied you with a firearm?"_

 _"It sounds weird when I say it out loud."_

 _"But why would they do that?"  
"They probably figured that I might need to fend for myself out here. Heck, I've spent a large chunk of the last year and a half sleeping in my car or abandoned buildings, so they weren't exactly wrong."_

 _"Were they never worried that you would use it to extract information out of them?"_

 _"They never left that up to chance. We never met. Only spoke through a phone that they provided. That night where you ambushed me when I thought Paige was caving in was the first time they offered to meet with me."_

Paige walked briskly through the hallways, stopping a thin looking boy who was walking in the opposite direction.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for the hall where Mr. Huffman is guest lecturing. Do you have any idea where I might find it?"

"Lecture hall 503. The elevator is…"

"I know! I just came from that direction," Paige said, turning around and sprinting towards where she came from. "Thank you!"

She almost crashed into the elevator, taking a moment to regain her senses before tapping the button impatiently:

"Come on, come on, come on, come on…"

Once she was on the floor she ran towards the hallway, pausing to slip quietly in. Whatever Jamie was going to do, causing ruckus and subsequent chaos would probably not make it better. There was a surprising amount of people in the hall, not all students though. Some people were obviously interested enough in hearing Mr. Huffman's preposterous theories to spend their Saturday in an auditorium. Paige looked around, leaning against the wall in order not to draw attention to herself. Jamie was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't necessarily mean that she wasn't there. She did after all have a talent for slipping into a cloud of smoke. She was about to give up; move to another sector or slip outside again to see if the blonde, petite girl hadn't made it to the auditorium yet. It was then that she saw her: she was way back, in the upper cut of the hall. She was sitting down and had a black cap on, obviously not to draw attention to herself.

Paige was frozen in place. This was hopeless. The upper cut was only accessible through another door, that was in an entirely different part of the hallway. Even if she would run like hell right now, by the time she reached her it would be too late. This was it: what she had feared the most. For she had recognized in Jamie what she had felt in herself so many years ago: anger, completely unbridled anger. And it had made her do horrible things, which at some point made her feel like she could never be redeemed. But where she had a saving grace; people with forgiveness and kindness in their hearts, Jamie had no one. And now she was going to get a front row seat to see exactly what that deadly concoction could produce. But it was then that she saw it, the silhouette of a familiar figure, approaching Jamie, who was readying herself to get up, her arm tucked into her jacket.

 **Jamie's POV**

She snuck her hand inside of her jacket lapel, felt the cold iron against her skin. She pointed her head downwards, no doubt looking like she was engrossed in writing down what was being discussed or perhaps on her phone. She couldn't bring herself to look up, but that didn't stop the filth which came from his mouth to seep into every pour. _Unnatural urges. Ungodly lifestyle._

"This is what he thinks of me," she thought to herself. "This is what he thought of his own daughter. And this is what he thought of our love."

She looked towards the hallway, which was empty. But for a moment she could have sworn that someone was there. She saw Linn, walking towards the door. She turned around, her hands in her pockets, and flashed a smile:

"See you around," she said, blinking before heading into the light.

Jamie blinked a tear away. Her hand tightened around the grip. She got up from her seat, her muscles taut, right arm ready to draw. It was then that she felt someone behind her.

"You don't want to do this," she heard a familiar voice. "Whatever you think this will do, whatever you think this is going to help you with, it won't. It will not bring Linn back to you."

"No it won't. But it will take the person out that took her from me."

"And turn him into a martyr. I hate the guy just as much as you do. Trust me. He hurt someone that I love too, someone who trusted him. But doing this won't erase it. It will only make it worse."

"I keep seeing her," Jamie said, her tears flowing heavier now "Everywhere I turn."

"I understand," Emily said. "But I also understand something else. And you need to trust me on this. If you go ahead and do this, it will tarnish everything that you remember about her. You will never again be able to think about her fondly and not remember what you did. Because even once the pain of her not being here anymore will fade, all the memories that you have of her will be tainted by what you are about to do. So, I am telling you this now. Stand down!"

There was a moment of hesitation, but then Jamie drew an empty hand up from her jacket. She felt how Emily gripped her shoulder tightly and started steering her towards she corridor:

"Come on. Let's go."

Just as Jamie was getting ready to submit and turn around something caught her eye. It was Mr. Huffman: he was staring directly at her. He then turned his head towards an auburn haired woman who stood frozen as a statue in the lower part of the auditorium. It was Paige. As his eyes started darting from one of them to the other, pearls of perspiration started appearing on his forehead. Emily's grip on her shoulder tightened:

"Exit the room. Slowly."

 **Emily's POV**

Once they were out of the auditorium Emily finally managed to catch her breath again which she hadn't realized she had been holding for so long. Mr. Huffman's face was branded in her mind: how his complexion had turned waxy, his eyes stuck on the two women. She tried to blink the image away, scanning to see where the nearest exit was. She heard fast footsteps coming towards her. Her body was readying itself to start sprinting when she recognized the familiar figure. It was Paige, she looked part panicked and part furious. She was about to open her mouth, her angry gaze directed towards Jamie, when they were interrupted by a thud, followed by the gasping of various people from inside the auditorium. They heard someone yell:  
"Quick! Someone call 911!"

Emily felt how Jamie's body jolted, breaking away from her grasp. Before she could even turn around, the younger girl had bolted away, disappearing behind a corner. Emily was about to follow her when she felt her own arm being grabbed by Paige:

"Come on. There is nothing more we can do for her. She got away."

"But we have to…"

"Em. You have to take your own advice sometimes. You did everything you could. We can't help her anymore if we get in trouble ourselves."

"What do we do?"

Paige's face was ashen, like the gaze of Mr. Huffman had taken something from her during those few seconds that their eyes had met. In the distance they heard the sounds of sirens:

"We get away. Now!"


	68. Chapter 68: In Memoriam

Paige jogged up the stairwell and rapped at the door. It felt weird, knocking at her own door when the keys were in her pocket. But it would feel disrespectful not to. The door was slightly ajar so she shouted inside:

"Hello?"

"Hi," she heard Jill's voice coming from the inside. She walked in to find the other woman packing a suitcase that was placed on the sofa. "Come in, come in. It's your house after all."

"Yes, but you are the ones that are occupying it now," Paige said. "I didn't want to intrude."

"Still got your country manners," Jill said and a smile flashed across her face.

"Yes mam," Paige said, returning the smile. "I hope you guys have been comfortable."

"We have. Paige I can't thank you enough for having let us stay here."

"Your father just died. And I know that it would take you days to settle everything. Get the body back to get him buried. I couldn't let you stay at a hotel. I just couldn't."

"You have grown into a very noble woman Paige McCullers."

"Well, I've been around some very noble people," Paige said, dipping her head. "I guess some of it must have rubbed off on me."

"Don't sell yourself short. I'm sure that this was something that was in you all along. You are honest down to the bone. Just like Linn was," Jill sighed and sunk down to the couch.

"Something wrong? I mean, apart from the obvious?" Paige asked, sitting down next to the other woman.

"A part of me feels bad that he's gone. I mean, I'll never have another dad. And after mum was gone, he was the only one that me and Linn had. But… I don't know… it just feels like I never knew him you know. He was the kind of man that expected us to perform, to make him proud. Made us feel like his love towards us was conditional to us being exceptional. Yet now, I am bending over backwards to get his body back to Philly, for him to get the funeral he wanted, a funeral that he'd be proud of. There will be so many people there Paige. People that have in the last couple of days have expressed their condolences, talked about how we have lost a great man. And I just keep thinking "who is that man?" A man that sent his own child away, to a place where she was so miserable that she ended up dying running away from it. I don't know that man Paige. Neither version of him. And I can't help but wonder, I spent my life with a person like that as my father, then what does that make me?"

"I used to live a double life," Paige said. "Saying one thing, being another. Claiming one thing, wanting another. I didn't just get raised by somebody trying to tear me in two. I was doing it to myself as well."

"What made you change?"

"Love," Paige said, her mind wandering to an endearing kiss that Emily had given her before she left her tiny apartment. "That someone could see past my faults. And not even just that but to make me into a better person, simply by loving me."

Jill's phone lit up and vibrated on the table. Paige caught a glimpse of the phone's wallpaper before the blonde woman fished it off the coffee table:

"And it seems to me that you have that, and in abundance."

"You mean José and the kids?"

"I do. Would he be the kind of man that would mind if they were… different?"

"Gosh no. He keeps on telling them "be the best version of yourself". And the thing is, he doesn't care what or who they will become. If they want to become lawyers or carpenters. Or grow up to like girls or boys. As long as they'll try they're best at it and they're happy."

"He sounds like a great guy."

"He is. He really is. God, I used to be so uptight when I met him. By the book. You know, things were supposed to be this way, not the other. And he just taught me to, you know, live and let live. He has truly made me into a better person. Maybe I had that potential all along, but he made sure that I got there."

"I know what you mean," Paige said, smiling as the words resonated with her. She thought of her girlfriend, probably exiting the pool now, running for the showers, as anxious to see her as she was. Jill's question caught her by surprise. "I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?"

"José just sent me that they were going to pick up some food, get the kids to eat something before we go to the airport. And he was wondering if you would want to have dinner with us. You and Emily, of course. She has been so wonderful over the past couple of days, and we are almost complete strangers to her."

"Well, strangers are just friends you haven't made yet," Paige said. "Isn't that what Linn used to say?"

"Yes. Yes she did."

* * *

Paige could feel how her mind was getting heavier as she and Emily closed in on Emily's apartment. They were going to pick up a few things, including Emily's extensive collection of hair-care products, and then get back to Paige's more spacious apartment, now that it was vacated.

"I had a nice time tonight," Emily remarked. "Despite of everything. Jill has a lovely family."

"She does," Paige said. "I wish Jamie could see how open minded Jill is. It might help her to understand that some things do change for the better."

"Are you angry with her?" Emily asked.

"I'm not actually," Paige said. "She has been treated like some feral animal by people of power. It's not weird if she decides at some point to bite back. But that would take such extreme measures…"

"Except that she didn't," Emily said.

"What do you mean?"

"When we went back to my apartment after she ran off I was going through some stuff, and I found the ammunition. She had emptied the gun completely before going to that auditorium."

"What?" Paige said, turning around to face Emily.

"I meant to tell you. Sorry. Just with everything that has been happening it…"

"No, no, that's not why I'm upset. It's just… she's not being destructive towards others. She's being…"

"...self destructive," Emily concluded. "I know what that feels like."

"Here I was thinking I was the self-destructive one in this relationship," Paige said, chuckling humorlessly.

"You were just more up front about it. I was so used to help everyone else through their messes that when I my own issues came back to whack me on the back of the head. So instead of dealing, I started getting self-destructive."

They had arrived at Emily's apartment and Paige put the car in park, turning around to face her girlfriend:  
"What happened Emily?"

"Have you ever wondered why I have to go everywhere on a bike or by bus?"

"I just assumed that you didn't have a car. But I do recall you winning a pretty sweet Toyota when we were back in Rosewood High. Did you sell it?"

"If only," Emily said, looking down into her lap, blushing with shame. "I originally came to Pepperdine driving it. It could have lasted for years. But after my dad passed away -gosh that entire period was like a blur. I was trying so hard to be strong and brave but it all just felt like a facade. Really, I couldn't feel anything. Then one night I was driving home from work, after having dropped out of Uni, and instead of my usual route I went to the fast lane. And I don't know why, but for some reason, I started flooring the accelerator. It made me feel… something. Afraid, excited, I don't know."

"Jesus Em, you could have gotten yourself killed."

"I almost did. I lost control of the car. It was a miracle that I didn't get more injured, but the car was completely ruined. It put me in a worse financial situation than I was already in. I had to accept a new job because I had to commute to work, eventually I had to move because I couldn't afford my rent at the new job, then I had to change my job again and well, at that point my life became a circle of crap getting thrown at me until I ended up working in a skeevy bar and living in a rat hole."

"Em… I…"

"I know what I did was incredibly stupid. I could have hurt myself. Gosh, I could have hurt somebody else. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if that had happened…"

"No, Em. It's not that. I get it. What you did is not defendable or excusable… but it's understandable," she grasped Emily's face into her hands. "And I have been there too."

Once they got inside of the apartment Paige was surprised to see that Emily wasn't heading for her broom closet of a bathroom, but instead headed for the bookshelf.

"I want to show you something," she said, patting the sofa bed, indicating for her girlfriend to take a seat which she did obligingly. Emily scooted up next to her, revealing a parcel which was kept inside a small chest.

"What is that?"

"Before I left Rosewood for the second time when I got a second chance at Pepperdine I knew that my dad's death would probably come back to haunt me. After all, one of my childhood friends had just died, and it was bound to unearth some old wounds. And I during my time back I sensed that my mom also felt that neither of us had gotten a closure for my dad's death. So we got a permission to get a part of dad's ashes and then we drove to Texas."

"Why Texas?"

"I never told you that my parents are from Texas?"

"No. I guess you didn't."

"Mom was studying at the community college and my dad was in a military base close to where she lived. He used to horse around to attract her attention when she was riding her bike home from school. On the way she shared so many stories of their first years. I thought I knew my dad well, we had such a good relationship, but it was like there was a new world that opened up to me."

"And what did you do once you came there?"

"The old military base had been moved. Even my grandparents house wasn't there anymore. They moved to an assisted living facility years ago and the lot was bought by a contractor who built a duplex."

"Awwww man."

"But mom took me to a public park and told me the final story. It was there that she told me she told dad that she was pregnant. She was so afraid that he'd freak out, talk about how he had his entire life ahead of him, but he just hugged her and talked about what a beautiful thing this was. That this was the day that the rest of their life was going to start. And the rest is pretty much history. They moved to Rosewood, got married, dad started doing tours, and they built a family together."

"It sounds like a thing that he would say."

"We spread his ashes there. At the place where the rest of their lives began. And "what a beautiful life" my mom said as we did."

"Did you do anything?"

"I talked to him. Like I always did. I thanked him for all he had done for me. All the time he dedicated to me. And I had brought with me a letter with notes from the girls," Emily said, indicating towards the parcel. "It was amazing, I didn't find out until I started prompting them about it. But all of them, Aria, Hanna and Spencer, had at least one story of a time where they had been troubled or need assistance and dad had come to their aid. From changing tires to scaring off creepy guys. He once met Aria at the Grill and pretended to be her dad so a weird drunk would leave her alone."

Paige couldn't control herself and chuckled at the idea of Wayne rationalizing how he was Aria's dad. After she caught her breath again she looked at Emily, whose eyes were getting watery:

"Your dad was an amazing man Em. And he touched so many lives."

"He did. And it wasn't until that moment, in a park that I had never gone to, surrounded by all this history, and all these wonderful stories, that I really felt closure and I was ready to move on."

"Thank you for telling me this," Paige said, pulling her in close. They sat huddled together for a while before Emily patted her on the leg:  
"Let's get going. I need to deep-condition my hair and I'd rather do it in your cozy shower instead of that sprinkler system in my broom closet," she said standing up, smirking at Paige mischievously. "I might even let you join me."

"And I might seriously consider that option," Paige said, standing up and giving her girlfriend a kiss, glad that they were able to break up the otherwise serious moment.

"You look so pensive. What are you thinking about?" Emily inquired.

"I don't know yet. But once I do I will tell you."

* * *

Paige walked slowly into the abandoned lot, mindful that its inhabitant had a tendency and good reason to be rather jumpy. She knocked on the door and was met with a scraggly looking blonde, who looked like she had been holed up in there for days.

"I had a hunch I would find you here," Paige said, stepping slowly inside. "And by the looks of it you haven't left in the last two weeks."

"I've gone out for food. I've been keeping a low profile," Jamie said, sitting down in a pile of clutter which she had obviously made no effort to clean up since the girls had caught her trashing the place.

"Emily told me about the bullets," Paige said. "You were not intending to harm him."

"Why do you care?" Jamie said. "I messed up. You should hate me right now."

"I don't hate you," Paige said, lowering herself to the other girl's eye level. "Jamie, these destructive tendencies, trying to bark so that somebody else will bite you, the assurance that you need to bring pain to yourself, I've been there. I get it. You don't need a lecture right now."

"Then what do I need?" Jamie asked. "Because I honestly have no idea. I have been roaming around, feeling so empty. That day that I went to the auditorium, you're right, I didn't want to hurt him. Not really. I'm not somebody that does that type of thing. Even in juvie when I was pushed in order to join a gang, get protection, I preferred isolating myself and sleeping with one eye open. I just wanted him to know. Know what he did. And how it was to be afraid. And then I could just fade away. And now he's dead. And I feel like it's my fault. But this thing just won't stop hurting."

"You didn't kill him Jamie," Paige said, a matter-of-factly. "He also looked at me and I don't feel guilty. Whatever feeling came over him at that moment was because of his own doing. And that is something that I will not be held responsible for. And neither should you. But I know of something that could help you heal."

Paige proceeded to grab a bag and threw it in Jamie's direction who jumped at the noise:

"What are you doing?"

"Emily's easter vacation starts next week. We are taking you to Philly. Linn will not just get a meaningless funeral organized by people that didn't know her like you did and a fancy hollow tombstone. We'll remember her the way that you knew her. And you'll get to say goodbye."

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because it is imperative. And it is right."


	69. Chapter 69: the Road less travelled

**A/N: So, this is just a short snippet before the story advances more, but I still liked writing it. It's a "lost moment" in a way. I hope you'll enjoy it.**

Emily stepped outside of the motel, punching in the familiar contact on her phone and waiting during the ringing sound. She heard a perky voice on the other end:

"Hey Em. I haven't heard from you in ages. How are things?"

"Hey Han," Emily answered her friend, smiling at the perkiness in the voice of the blonde. "Everything is fine so far. We've made a lot of headway. We should be in Philly this evening."

"Such a big road trip you're taking. Meanwhile I'm here, making it my goal to consume the entire fridge."

"You're eating for two now Han. Don't feel guilty about that."

"True. That's what I told Caleb when he looked at me funny when I asked him for cheese sticks for breakfast. But anyways, let's concentrate on something besides my eating habits. How are things progressing, besides your GPS coordinates I mean?"

"Then what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Look, I've had front seats when it comes to this thing that is progressing between the two of you and it's been an honor. But for now I'm in the dark. So, how have things been between the two of you lately, I mean during all of this?"

"They have been kind of strange. But good strange."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you ever feel that there was a path laid out for you Han. But then somehow it got messed up and now you are going on a different path, but you start feeling that it was the one that you were meant to be on all along?"

 _Paige squeezed Emily's hand. It was the late hours of the night and they could see how the motel sign blinked outside of their window._

 _"This was nice," Paige said, blinking Emily._

 _"Nice? I'd like to think more like spectacular," Emily said, pulling her body closer to the auburn haired woman._

 _"I stand corrected. You were always better with words than I am," Paige said, and the raven haired woman could feel as she blushed. "What are you thinking about?"_

 _"It's just… I can't help but wonder… What do you think would have happened if I had followed you? To Stanford I mean? Do you think we could have been together?"_

 _"Oh definitely. I would have embraced you in a heartbeat," Paige said, placing a soft kiss on her girlfriend's neck. "You would have arrived, on my doorstep, asked me if we could continue where we left off, and I would have told you a thousand times yes."_

 _"And after that?"_

 _"We would have seen each other for a while. Eventually moved in somewhere together. Probably to College Terrace. It was a great place to live. We would have woken up early on the weekdays, dragging each other to practice and then spent the weekends cuddling in bed."_

 _"That sounds so nice. What else did you imagine for us?"_

 _"You might laugh at this. But I had this weird idea that if we had a choice between two things, and wanted different things, we'd race for them."_

 _"Like a swim race?"_

 _"No. That would be too elaborate. To go into the pool, after hours to settle a debate? Please. No. I figured that we'd do a race. On our bikes. In this case I always imagined that I'd get you a bike, so we could bike to school, and we'd use to to race. And whoever won would get to rule in whatever we were trying to settle."_

 _"And you think that doesn't sound too elaborate?"_

 _"It just came to my head. I know it sounds dumb."_

 _"It doesn't. It sounds lovely Paige. But you know that of course at some point I would have messed it up."_

 _"Don't say that Em…"_

 _"You know it's true. I know it's true. When my dad died I just spiraled out of control. And no one could have kept me away from that. Not my family, not my friends, not you, not anything. Whatever was happening in my life at that time, I would have messed it up."_

 _"You don't know that. Our relationship could have ended because of multiple of reasons."_

 _"But it would have been the reason. Paige, I know we never had this future, but I know this would have been the end of it. Trust me when I say that. Because I know myself enough to actually admit it. And that is why I'm telling you, I'm glad that future didn't pan out for us. Because I'm happy for what we have. Right here. Right now. Nevermind all of the messes that we are stuck in the middle of right now. I wouldn't have changed it for the world."_

 _"Neither would I," Paige said, pressing a tender kiss to Emily's lips, then letting the raven haired woman lean on her chest, listening to her heart beating, ever so tender. Ever so slow. "Neither would I."_

 _Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,_

 _And sorry I could not travel both_

 _And be one traveler, long I stood_

 _And looked down one as far as I could_

 _To where it bent in the undergrowth;_

 _Then took the other, as just as fair,_

 _And having perhaps the better claim,_

 _Because it was grassy and wanted wear;_

 _Though as for that the passing there_

 _Had worn them really about the same,_

 _And both that morning equally lay_

 _In leaves no step had trodden black._

 _Oh, I kept the first for another day!_

 _Yet knowing how way leads on to way,_

 _I doubted if I should ever come back._

 _I shall be telling this with a sigh_

 _Somewhere ages and ages hence:_

 _Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—_

 _I took the one less traveled by,_

 _And that has made all the difference._

 _-Robert Frost._


	70. Chapter 70: Bringing down the House

**A/N: Thank you guys for your patience. I really appreciate it and I still have no intention of quitting this one. We are getting very close. Now on for some action and adventure.**

It was already dark once they reached Philadelphia. When they started heading north of the city, Emily turned around and looked at Jamie:

"This is getting kind of remote and not marked very well. Are you sure this is the right way?"

"I am," Jamie said. Previously asleep in the backseat, she was now upright and alert. "I could find my way back here blindfolded. You take the left turn at the abandoned factory and then drive until you get to the second crossroad and take a right there.

"I remember this factory," Paige remarked while they drove by. "Didn't it supply like half of the town with jobs? At least that's what my dad used to tell me when we came up to visit."

"It used to," Jamie said.

They didn't say anything more during the rest of the drive. They drove up to a darkened lot but Emily could still not help being awed by the sheer size of it. Jamie jumped out of the car as soon as they stopped.

"You sure nobody is going to be home?" she asked.

"Positive," Paige answered. "Jill said she was going to settle the funeral business but won't be able to go over the manor until she gets her summer vacation in a couple of months."

"How are you going to get in? We don't have a key."

"I don't need a key," Jamie said, zipping her hoodie up.

Before either Paige nor Emily could say anything she had jogged off and disappeared into the darkness.

"Should we go after her?" Emily asked.

"Probably," Paige said and unbuckled her seat belt. "But where did she go?"

"I don't know," Emily said, walking up to the front door, trying to get a better view of where the small blonde disappeared off to. She was startled when she heard the doorknob turn but was met by a grinning Jamie:

"Told you I didn't need a key. I thought it was better to let you in so you won't have to stay out in the dark. I'll be right back."

She didn't explain where she was going, but Emily had a hunch when she heard the footsteps going upstairs, remembering what she had told them about the secret behind the homecoming photo. She turned around to watch Paige jogging inside, but instead of following Jamie upstairs she made a left. Emily followed her into a room with a large mahogany desk, surrounded by bookcases.

"What are we doing?" Emily asked.

"This used to be his office," Paige said. "Mr. Huffman's I mean."

"And why are we looking through it?" Emily asked.

"Because… I don't know… I have a very hard time putting this into words," Paige sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Try. Please."

"I know we're here to help Jamie heal and all, but I just can't help feeling that this is so… incomplete somehow. Why would this mystery person drag Jamie in if they couldn't pay out with some more information than just 'your girlfriend is dead, sorry about that'. It just doesn't feel…"

"...right. It doesn't feel right," Emily grabbed her hand. "I feel it too."

"And I just figured, since we're here anyway, we could dig around, see what we could find."

"I'll help you," Emily said. Paige quirked an eyebrow at her. "I spent a large chunk of my life chasing clues laid down by a sociopath, remember? And from what Jamie has told us, Huffman doesn't sound too unlike him."

"You're not wrong," Paige said, turning towards her girlfriend who was skimming the bookshelves. "What are you looking for?"

"Have you noticed that there are no pictures of Linn in here? Don't people usually keep pictures of their kids in their office. When my mom worked at the police station her desk would be plastered of photos of my dad and me."

"Do you think he resented her? Because she was lesbian? Do you think that's why he didn't keep any photos around?"

"I think he does, just not out in the open. Where would he keep them…"

She ran her fingers along the bookshelf, stopping at a leatherbound book. She grabbed it and leafed through a couple of pages.

"It's a bible…" she muttered. She heard Paige approaching her.

"I remember it," Paige said. "It was his first one, when he was starting out performing sermons."

"It certainly looks well used."

"There is something in here," Emily said, fishing out a worn polaroid. She gasped. "It's Linn."

Paige leaned in closer to look at the photo:

"Gosh, she looks so old in that photo."

"Maybe it was during her time at True Direction. Their program certainly didn't do a lot of bloody wonders for your health and well being."

They heard ruckus from the hallway and turned around in unison.

"What was that?" Paige said, her face etched with worry.

Emily could feel a nasty feeling welling up inside her:

"We need to get Jamie and get out of here. Now."

They hurried outside. Emily stopped dead in her tracks, her nostrils flailing up:

"Can you smell that?"

"What's that smell?" Paige said, covering her face with the lapel of her jacket.

"It's gasoline," Emily said, hearing the pop of ignition. "Get down!"

The fire spread like thunder and Emily watched in horror as it flowed up the staircase and across the upper floor. Fortunately there was a clear pathway towards where the exit was. But when she tugged her girlfriend's hand she felt the other woman resisting.

"Paige, we need to go. Now! This whole place is about to go up in flames!"

"I need to get Jamie!" Paige said. "Get out. Call 911. Whatever you do, do not come after me! I love you."

And just like that she was gone, dashing up what little was left of the stairs not already on flames.

"Paige!" Emily yelled out. She heard the command ringing in her ear. _Do not come after me!_ As much as it pained her, she was right. She would be of more use outside, calling help then she would be inside. She ran towards the door but once she was out she stumbled over a dark clothed piled.

"Jamie?" Emily puffed, but the small figure was not responding. Emily grabbed their shoulders, yanking them down the front stairs and into the grass. She heard a soft groan and let out a sigh of relief. At least she was alive. Emily fumbled for her phone, knowing that she would have a better chance of reaching Paige that way who was at this point probably out of earshot.

"Emily. Did you call 911 already?" she heard Paige ask on the other end.

"No, I haven't got the chance," Emily said, speaking as rapidly as she could. "Paige, you need to get out. Now. I have Jamie."

There was noise on the other end and Emily wasn't sure if Paige had caught what she had just said because the other woman responded:

"I have to save her Emily," her voice was becoming scrambled. "I can't live with myself if I don't."

"No, Paige, she is with me. Paige. You have to get out of there. Please!"

The phone call got cut off.

"Paige! Paige!" Emily screamed, but to no avail.

She heard a window being broken and some thumping noises. She frantically tried dialing Paige's number again but it was forwarded to her voicemail. It was then that a large explosion ripped through the east part of the house from what looked like the kitchen. Emily was knocked from her feet and could feel the impact pushing down on her chest. She fought to catch her breath, crawling up to her hands and knees, watching as the top floor came crashing down onto the pit that had been formed below it.

"No. No no no no no no," she said, feeling how the flow of tears washed down her matted face. It was then that she noticed a figure, limping from around the corner, carrying something over her shoulder. Could it be…?

"Paige!" Emily shrieked, getting up to her feet, not caring how her body ached. She stumbled clumsily towards the other woman, noticing that it was a person that she was hoisting with her, trailing a long line of sheet behind them that was tied around their thin waist. Paige laid them down in the grass and bending down towards them. Emily kneeled down next to her and saw how Paige's face relaxed as she touched the hooded figures face.

"She's breathing," Paige announced. "Her legs got caught under some burning debris, but I managed to kick it off. We got out the way that she came in, through the window, but I had to make a sling out of the bedsheets because I couldn't just toss her down."

She was rambling now. Emily grabbed her arm, reassuringly.

"It's okay. You're safe now," she said calmly, but her mind was reeling. She pulled the hood off of the person's head, and sure enough, it was Jamie. She was dirty and there were cuts all over her face. But it was Jamie, and she was alive. "But who…" She turned around to see the other figure, standing up with some difficulty.

"Who are you?" she said, standing over the other person, trying to seem imposing even though she was chilled to the bone, having no idea who it was that she had just dragged out of the house. She could hear sirens closing in. Someone had surely heard the explosion or seen the smoke and decided to call the police. "And what in the world are you doing here?"

The other person balanced themselves. They were standing a whole lot less taller than Emily, their size reassembled Jamie's petite figure. It was not a surprise that she had mistaken them. They pulled off their hood. Paige who was approaching the two of them stopped dead in her tracks. Emily let out a loud cry of surprise.

It was Mona Vanderwaal.


	71. Chapter 71: United for the Cause

Paige turned towards the hospital room, letting her exhausted body rest in the doorframe. She took a look at the petite blonde lying motionless in the hospital bed. They had been in the same position, only a couple of months ago, not even half a year. But this time around she was viewing the injured person lying on the bed not as a mysterious foe but just like herself, a victim of an unjust world that punished them for things they didn't choose. But above that she saw her as somebody she cared about, a friend even. An ally in the fight to find justice and make sense of everything that had been done wrong to them and those they cared about.

She noticed Emily who came walking slowly towards her, embracing her from behind:

"How is she?"

"She has some pretty bad burns on her legs. The plastics department wants to do some skin grafts. Apart from that she mostly has smoke inhalation which should clear out in a matter of days. But they want to keep her here for the skin grafts."

"I'm glad she's out of the woods. Come on, Mona's waiting for us down at the cafeteria. "She said she's going to explain everything."

"She better," Paige said, following her girlfriend down the stairs. "I'm tired of all these turns and twists."

The two women spotted the dark haired woman sitting at a corner table which was mostly vacant at this time of night, apart from some exhausted looking doctors who were hanging out in the center of the hall.

"Hello you two," Mona said, seemingly unfazed by what had passed only hours earlier. She indicated towards their clasped hands. "I'm glad you two worked things out from the last time I had this sort of meeting with you. Félicitations tourterelles."

"Cut the crap Mona," Paige said, grabbing a seat. "I just got our friend out of a burning building a couple of hours ago and Emily saved you from becoming a toasted marshmallow. So just quit the charade and tell us what is going on."

"You were never one for niceties McCullers," Mona remarked. "But luckily my client has decided that she's ready to share her information with you guys, seeing that we are fighting for the same cause here. And she's ready to make identity known to you…"

"Her… do you mean…"

"My client is one Jill Huffman."

"What ? Why?" Emily stuttered bewildered. "No. I don't believe you. Why would you be scampering in the dark for her?"

"In order not to attract suspicion. There are still a lot of people who have a lot to lose in case Mr. Huffman loses his clean shield. Listen, if I was doing this behind her back why would I have this?" Mona said, dangling a key in front of the two women. "She gave me the key, the codes to the house, everything that I needed in order to get in. Didn't you wonder why there wasn't any alarm that went off once you sneaked in?"

"Alright. That's a good point," Paige admitted. "Care to walk us through what happened?"

"I got in, found some documents that I thought might be of use. I heard you coming in and snuck away before I would run into you. You could have been burglars. I didn't know. I was almost in the clear when somebody knocked me over the head when I was getting out of the front door. Next thing I know I'm waking up in the grass and the house is on fire."

"Fair enough. I'm glad your head's okay," Emily said. "But why did Jill hire you to find information about her father?"

"Because your visit stirred up old wounds for her," Mona said. "And just like you and Jamie, she feels that there is something in the whole story of how Linn died doesn't add up."

"Well, she's not wrong," Emily said, fishing up the bible that she had found in Mr. Huffman's office and slamming it on the table.

"What do you want me to do with this?"

"There's a photo inside there, of Linn. I want you to look at it. Dust it. Diagnose it. Use some of your weird investigating skills that I don't understand. Do whatever you need to do to get to the bottom of this!"

"Aye aye captain," Mona said, quirking an eyebrow when Emily got up from her seat. "Where are you off to?"

"The last place Linn was registered to," Emily stated. "Come on can reach there before daylight if we go now. Jamie will understand."

"Last place? You mean True Direction?"

"No. I mean the morgue."


	72. Chapter 72: the Remains of a Life

Emily listened to the lock finally clicking in place. She smiled, content with herself as she opened the door up a a crack.

"Tada!" she proclaimed. "Sorry it took so long. I'm not as skilled as Mona when it comes to breaking and entering but I do have some experience with it."

"Are you apologizing for taking too long?" Paige asked. "I'm just impressed that you know how to do this at all."

Emily dipped her head at Paige's comment, remembering that it was true that she and her friends had been forced to accommodate to abnormal circumstances in their teenage years and that she had as a result developed a very particular set of skills. She felt the warm hand of the other woman cup her cheek.

"I mean this as a good thing. We never would have gotten so far without you. I could not have done any one those things if you had not been by my side. Are you sure that there won't be any burglar alarm here?"

"Positive," Emily responded. "I called up Caleb and Kat on the way. "After apologizing for waking them up I got them to stake the place out virtually. The building is ancient. No live security. The tapes are only looked over in case something happens. And they can be easily overwritten. And oh, by the way, nobody works during the weekends. Not even the cleaning staff."

"Amazing how they can get so much information from across the country," Paige remarked as they walked down the hallway.

"They are truly a dream team. Kind of scary how much they can do. Teamed up with Mona they are basically the unbeatable team."

"Let's just make sure that they are on our side shall we," Paige said, looking over a door marked Main Office. "This has to be it, right? Where they keep the records?"

"I assume so. Caleb and Kat didn't find anything online so either their files are kept in a computer that doesn't have an internal server or…"

"They actually do it the old fashioned style," Paige said, hurrying to an old file closet. "Bingo. It was December 2015 right?"

"Right. One of the coldest Decembers in recent years," Emily said, remembering Jill's words. _That winter was extremely frosty._

"Not a lot of other files here. It's a relatively small town after all. Not a lot of people dying on a daily basis," Paige filed through the manilla files. "Heart attack, heart attack, brain aneurysm, internal bleeding from a car crash. Oh here we go. Female. 18 years old."

"What does it say?" Emily said, leaning in to take a closer look.

"Nothing that we didn't already know. Death from hypothermia," Paige flipped the to the next file. "Here is the incident report. I guess they're trying to save space. Guess this really is a small town. Subject was found in a rundown building where there were multiple other people that were also squatting in that place trying to stave off the cold. The subject was warmly dressed in used clothing marked the Hope for Healing charity. When questioned, a staff member, Mrs. Petra Curriger confirmed that the subject had visited the charity that day and received the clothes and a bowl of soup, which is persistent with examination the subject's stomach content. The companion of the girl was released after questioning when it was found after conversing with her lawyer that there was not sufficient suspicion to hold her."

"So that's what it comes down to," Paige said, throwing the file on top of the drawer she found it in. "That's what the end of a life looks like. A police report and a description of your stomach contents. Really Em, what were we hoping to find here?"

"You are not looking close enough," Emily said, opening the file again and pulling her phone up. She proceeded to carefully photograph each page.

"What are you seeing that I'm not seeing Em?"

"What isn't there. Listen Paige, sometimes what isn't there can tell you more than what is there. Why are the descriptions so holey? And why is the name of her 'companion' not mentioned. She was the witness to a death and was held on suspicion of wrongdoing. Her name should be in here."

"Yes, but we don't know what her name was. And I don't know how we're supposed to find out."

"We don't know it," Emily said, tapping something into her phone and then showing Paige the pastel blue homepage of _Hope for Healing._ "But Petra Curriger might."


	73. Chapter 73: When the Hands are Tied

Paige sipped on her coffee which was still hot and steamy, just the way that she liked it, all though the diner did not have her favorite sweetener available. The breakfast had gone down smoothly and energized the two women, almost making up for the fact that they had not had any sleep. Emily sat down next to her, giving her a little nudge, which gave her a warm feeling that the coffee couldn't even muster:  
"I offered some coffee and Danish to go."

"But we just had coffee."

"Not for us. For Petra Curriger. People are more likely to respond warmly to your requests if you present them with a small present or a favour."

"Where did you learn all of this?" Paige asked, once again amazed by her girlfriend's resourcefulness.

"You learn things in other places than university," Emily said, accepting the coffee and bagged up pastry from the waitress, tipping her generously. "Come on. Hope for Healing opens in a couple of minutes."

* * *

Petra heard the knock at her door the moment that she had sat down at her desk. Not mustering the energy to get up again she shoted: "Come in!" at the closed door. She observed as two young women creeped inside. They were well dressed and combed and did not look like they had spent any time on the street. She quirked an eyebrow:

"What can I do for you ladies?"

"Hello, hi," the raven haired woman said. "I'm sorry that we didn't call and make an appointment. But I did bring this for you. I used to work a helpline and I know how you can forget to recharge when you are on shift."

"Well mannered and bringing gifts," Petra remarked. She indicated towards the chairs facing her desk. "Why don't you girls have a seat and tell me what I can do for you?"

The two women sat down while Petra grabbed the paper mug. It was from the diner down the street which she loved. Way better than the tar that they served in the break room. The raven haired woman spoke first:

"Do you recall the name Linn Huffman Mrs Curriger?"

Petra covered her face with her palm. There had to be a catch. She took a deep breath before responding:

"Look. If you're here to seek severance for what happened to that poor girl you will not have any luck here. We have already been interviewed by the police. Multiple times. When Linn Huffman left our facilities she was fed and clothed. Where she chose to spend the night was out of our control. We don't have an overnight facility. Heck, we only have funding to be open four hours per day, which is why I have to moonlight as a 911 operator. So, trying to make us culpable for this is like beating a dead horse. Sorry for my language."

"We are not looking for those things," the auburn haired woman said. "I was a friend of Linn's. You were the last person to see her alive. All we want is information. How was she? What did she say?"

"She looked beaten down," Petra remarked. "But it seemed that there was some fire within her. She was with a girl that I know, or used to know. Someone who had frequented Hope for Healing. Her name was Willa. She had been homeless for a while. Three years actually. Her parents had kicked her out when she was fifteen because they had found out that she was lesbian. I remember that she introduced Linn as a 'fellow fighter' so I assumed that she was in a similar situation."

"Did you ever see Willa again?" the auburn haired woman asked.

"No," Petra said. "She disappeared after Linn died. If she was with her the night that she died I assume that it terrified her. Poor girl. I could have helped her."

"Hey," the raven haired woman said. "You helped them. You did all that you could."

"But I should have helped more," Petra said and could not help a small tear trickling down her face. She wiped it off. "I apologize. I'm getting sentimental. It's just, I felt very protective of Willa. And not knowing what happened to here. Where she is today. It just kills me."

"I understand," the auburn haired woman said. "Thank you for all of your help Mrs. Curriger."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't be of any more help," Petra responded as the two women stood up.

"Trust me Mrs. Curriger, you have helped plenty," the raven haired woman said.

* * *

Emily got her phone up the moment they were out in the parking lot, seeing that it had been buzzing furiously:  
"Mona, what's going on?"

"When will you guys be back?"

"We're on our way right now," Emily said, getting in the car with Paige. "We have some things we need to show you."

"As do I," Mona said, and Emily could hear that even through the other woman's usual cold demeanor, she was excited. "I just found something. This could change everything."


	74. Chapter 74: All Roads

Emily and Paige rushed into the hospital room, shutting the door tightly behind them. Inside were Mona and Jamie who was already up and sitting next to the other woman.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Emily inquired, and Paige remarked an almost maternal tone in her voice.

"I feel fine," Jamie responded. "We had a talk with the doctors. I should be out soon enough. What did you find?"

"Linn's autopsy report," Paige said, nodding to Emily who pulled her phone up and laid it on an end table, displaying the photos that she had taken a few hours before. "It is vague. But it is something."

"What do you have for us Mona?" Emily inquired. "You said that you found something that changes everything."

"I did. And it does," Mona said, pulling out her laptop. "I found some documents, most of them are coded but they did mention something about a Carissimi Group. I assume that it sounds familiar. It does to me."

Paige looked at Emily for clues, who responded instantly:

"CeCe. I mean Charlotte Drake. Originally it was a fund that Jessica made for her to make sure that she could get education, despite being at Radley. But Cece invested the money and became incredibly wealthy, which is why she was able to pull off so many things as A."

"That does make sense," Mona said. "The Carissimi group was shown to have invested in True Direction, but there were other investors as well. All of their names are coded, unfortunately."

"Didn't Alison inherit everything that Charlotte used to own?" Paige asked. "Including her shares in any company that she might have had?"

"She did," Emily said. "But Archer robbed her blind of all of her sharing when he catfished her."

"I don't know much about this Alison friend of yours, except for the small snippets that you have told me," Jamie said, her face ashen. "But does she really seem like somebody that would take pleasure in having shares in a company that tortured young people?"

"I don't believe that," Emily said, her voice firm. "Could it be that she didn't find out about the purpose of that investment until after she lost it? She had a lot going on when Charlotte died."

"It is possible," Mona said. "Unfortunately most of the other partners in the enterprise are silent, so I can't see who else is affiliated."

"It's just like you said," Paige said. "All roads lead back to Rosewood. This has to have something to do with Alison. What if this had to do with her being killed?"

"Ali was killed by Ezra when she threatened to reveal her identity," Emily responded.

"But it wasn't just his identity," Paige continued. "Remember when you said that Ali had uncovered something vital, which is what brought Ezra to meet her at the theater? What if this was it. What if she found out who the other shareholders were in True Directions?"

"Yes. But Ezra is in prison now. In maximum security. There is no way that he can be whoever is preying on us," Emily argued.

"But Ezra had many apprentices," Mona said. "Including Charlotte. And me. Who is to say that there weren't others?"

"So you're suggesting that whoever is behind this is A's old apprentice?" Paige asked. "Why would they be interested in staking me out? I hadn't been involved in this whole business for years. I was a stranger to you, Emily, Spencer, Aria, Hanna. The whole gang."

"I did do some more investigating and it turns out that between the time that Charlotte got out and before she was murdered she did make some purchases," Mona said, tapping on her laptop. "She visited a souvenir shop, paid for two medium sized statue by credit card and then she mailed one parcel."

"Wait a minute," Emily said. "I remember something."

 _"What is that thing?" Emily asked, eyeing a cherub that was posed on Alison's bookshelf._

 _"A gift from Charlotte," Alison responded. "As a thank you for standing by her all those years."_

 _"It's cute," Emily said, evading to make further comment on Charlotte's release which still made her uneasy. She looked at the scribbled message which was attached to the statue. 'To the one I adore the most'. She desperately sought an another conversation topic. "So, what do you want to cook tonight. It's going to be you, me and Elliot, right?"_

"It was a cherub," Emily said.

"When did she receive it?" Paige asked.

"That summer, when Cece was released. Two years ago."

"You guys, there is something I need to tell you," Jamie said.

"Why are you interested in when she received it?" Mona asked.

"Because we might have something," Paige said. "Finally, a response to all of this nonsense."

"Guys," Jamie repeated.

"We need to go," Paige said. "And we need to do it right now."

"Where are we going?" Emily asked.

"To Rosewood. To find answers."

"Guys! Listen!" Jamie screamed, and the three woman turned around, finally paying attention to the petite blond. "Sorry. But before you go, there is something that you need to know. This is not Linn."

"What?" Emily asked, grabbing the phone from Jamie's hand. "How can you be sure?"

"The same way that you would be sure if this was Paige," Jamie said. "She was my Linn. I knew every mark on her body. Every imperfection, every wonder. Whoever the woman was that this autopsy was made on, she was not my Linn."


	75. Chapter 75: Going back

**Author's Notes: So, we are getting close to the end here, just so that you guys are aware. If anything, this and the following chapter should be read as the fast paced action scenes that usually happened in the mid-season and season finale. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the ride.**

"Thank you Mona," Emily said, hanging up the phone.

"We're almost here," Paige said, taking the exit from the highway where the sign for their old town was prominently featured. "What did Mona have to say?"

"She ran face analysis of the photo that I left her," Emily said. "She's run into a dead end with the account information. Told me that she must be missing some sort of a key in order to decode the rest of the information. But the face analysis gave her some clues. She said that it was Linn, without any shadow of a doubt. But that according to her diagnosis, it seems that her facial features have aged."

"Isn't there a chance that somebody could have doctored with the photo?" Paige asked.

"Yes, but this is Mona that we're talking about here. If someone had altered the photo, she would have been able to figure it out. She knows all the tells of how to see if a photo has been manipulated. She is a PI after all. She said that she had relayed the same information to her client."

"What was Jill's response to that?"

"She was about to jump on a plane to meet Mona," Emily said. "When she told her about where we were going she changed her flight. She's coming to Rosewood Paige. Why would she be doing that?"

"Em, you remember when Alison was missing. You and your friends spent years looking into that, jumping at every small hint that you could find. Now imagine if Ali wasn't your friend but your sister. It's been years since I spent time with Jill and Linn but I do remember how they were. Jill was always very protective of 'little Linn'. She was her sister's keeper."

"Would you do the same for Parker?" Emily asked, suddenly realizing that they were not speaking from the same viewpoint of an only child as they used to have when they were younger.

"Absolutely," Paige said. "Before he was born I was terrified Em. That I wasn't going to be a good older sister. That I was too selfish, too old, that I was too used to being on my own. But when I saw him for the first time, when I got to hold him I swear I could feel my heart growing. And when I spend time with him I sometimes just wish that I had an extra compartment in my heart to put all this love that I feel for him."

Despite all the ghastly things happening around them, Emily could feel how those words warmed her heart: "I guess that's how Jill feels about Linn too."

"I know it is. I could see it on her that day I met her in Sacramento. When she heard of Linn passing she must have just put all that love she felt on ice, but now that there are things in the matter stirring up, of course she can't help but to be involved. Neither would I."

"I know," Emily said, grasping her hand. "And that is why I love you."

"Come on, we're here," Paige said, jumping out of the car.

Emily's heart sank when she realized that that her girlfriend was sprinting into Rosewood's cemetery but decided nonetheless to follow her.

"Mind telling me what we're doing here Paige?" Emily asked, trailing the other woman. Despite it still being daylight she had always found the place to be morbid.

They stopped at a grave that despite not being one of the older ones in the place, could not be considered exactly fresh. It was well kept and on the headstone Emily could read: Alan McCullers, never forgotten, always loved.

"He was born here. Right here in Rosewood. Even though he moved away to Scranton later on, he wanted to be buried in the place that he loved," Paige said, leaning down and picking something up. It was a cherub statue, identical to the one that Emily had seen in Alison's room. "Here it is."

"To the one to whom I was the worst," Emily read from the statue's bottom.

"Yeah, it sounds kind of morbid. Somebody sent it to me when I was at my parent's, right before me and Cat left on our graduation trip. I remember that Parker was going with my parents to Rosewood and he really wanted to find something nice to put on grandpa Alan's grave, so I gave it to him. I tried to wipe the writing off the bottom and he didn't notice it. Said that he was sure that grandpa was going to love it. But why would Charlotte send this to me?"

"Charlotte admitted once that the only person that Ali was ever truly afraid of was you," Emily admitted. "Maybe she knew that Ezra was coming after her and that she's need other people to continue righting her wrongs. And she knew that out of everyone you and Ali were the most competent."

"Well, let's hope that I'm up to the challenge," Paige said, before carelessly dropping the statue to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Emily shrieked.

"This is CeCe Drake we're talking about here," Paige said. "Do you really think she would be simple enough to put her clues on the outside of a package?"

Searching the broken pieces Emily discovered a small piece of paper, having to disgruntledly admit that for once, Paige's impulsiveness had been called for:

"It's a bunch of numbers."

Suddenly, the two women were disturbed by footsteps behind them.

"Duck," Emily whispered, grabbing her girlfriend and hunching behind the headstone. She grabbed a heavy-set vase. She waited as the footsteps approached, before jumping up, vase in hand, ready to launch. She was met by a very disheveled Spencer Hastings who dropped a bouquet of roses that she had in her hands.

"What is going on in here?" Spencer said when she had regained her breath. "Emily? Paige?"

"Spencer? What are you doing here?" Emily asked.

"I'm visiting Alison's grave. I live in Rosewood, remember? A more valid question: what the heck are you two doing here?"

"There is no time to explain," Paige said, pulling up the small note and handing it to Spencer. "Spencer please. I know that you have a superbrain. Can you read anything out of these numbers?"

"Easy, they're coordinates," Spencer said. "We used to do them all the time at our brownie meetings."

"You really are a genius," Paige said. "Could you find out where this coordinate is at?"

"I earned the gold badge for navigation five years in a row," Spencer said. "Don't insult my intelligence McCullers."

"I never would have expected you not to take this to your stride," Paige responded, smiling at the other woman.

Paige's car screeched at the Rosewood High parking lot just at the moment that Emily concluded the very abbreviated version of why they were back in town.

"So, what you're saying is that Charlotte left some clues before she died and that Ali might have found them and that is why Ezra killed her?"

"It might have been how she managed to rattle his cage so to speak. She might have found something that made him afraid that he was going to get exposed."

"And you think that thing, whatever it is, might help you find out what happened to your friend?"

"For a lack of better explanation, yes. Everything has seemed to lead us back to here, back to Charlotte, and Alison. I know it sounds crazy."

"Not crazier than anything else that has happened to us," Spencer said. "Come on. It's in here. And I know for a fact that Mr. Hackett still keeps a spare key in the flowerpot next to his parking spot."

The hallway was quiet and dark and the three women could hear how their footsteps echoed as they creeped slowly towards their target.

"Are we there yet?" Paige asked.

"Jesus McCullers, are you twelve and on a road trip?" Spencer hissed. "I will tell you once we're there."

"Sorry. This place just makes me antsy," Paige said, looking around. "I feel like we're about to get jumped at any moment."

"Considering that this used to be one of A's primal hunting grounds I can't exactly blame you," Emily said, grabbing her girlfriend's shoulder and giving her a reassuring squeeze. The three woman took a turn into a classroom, Alison's old homeroom.

"It should be, somewhere around here," Spencer said. "Whoever was doing this marked the place down to a T. They had coordinated within the coordinates, meaning that the margin of error here is incredibly small."

"Incredibly small? Why can't it be nonexistent?" Paige said, looking around.

"There is no such thing," Spencer said, stomping. "Now, what am I standing on here."

"Maybe it's not what you're standing on. It's what you're looking at," Emily said, pointing towards the wall opposite. It was adorned with a single photo of the Eiffel Tower.

"At least we'll always have Paris," Emily said, remembering the obsession that Charlotte and Alison had shared about the city. She grabbed the photo and flipped it around, clipping it out of the photo frame and turning the entire thing inside out. "There is nothing here."

"What about what it was concealing?" Paige suggested, knocking on the wall, comparing the hollow sound behind the photo and the lack of sound anywhere else. "The rest sounds like concrete. Why is this hollow?"

"I guess we're about to find out," Emily said, grabbing a paperweight from the desk. She raised it over her head. "Step aside please."

With a loud thunk the thin panel came apart they could see that there was a small compartment behind.

"You have quite an arm on you," Spencer remarked. "Didn't you use to be injured?"

"Used to being the keyword," Emily said, peeling the thin plaster off and grabbing what was inside. It was a document in a manilla envelope. She ripped it open, finding a series of numbers. "What the hell..."

"This looks like some sort of a key," Spencer said, looking over her shoulder. "You remember what I told you about the Enigma code?"

"Not right now Spence, sorry," Emily said, shoving the files into her bag. "We need to get this to Mona. Right now."

Once out of the classroom and running for the door they were startled by the sound of a phone buzzing.

"It's Jill," Paige said. "She got my text about meeting at the school, she's outside in the parking lot."

"There she is," Emily said, opening the door and waving, catching the attention of the strawberry blonde woman. "Over here."

"I got here as soon as I could," Jill said, running towards them. "Mona said that you had some information about Linn and I caught the first flight that I could. I know that this isn't my place and I'm sorry, but I just couldn't stay away. I couldn't be at the other side of the country when something happened in Linn's case. Not again. Never again."

"Hey, hey now," Paige said, grabbing the other woman's hand and without giving it another thought she brought her in for a hug. "You should never apologize for that. Ever. We have so many things that we need to tell you."

"Uh, guys," they heard Spencer say, who had been silent and suddenly seemed further away. "Guys, over here, please."

Emily turned around and gasped with Paige and Jill following shortly after. A few feet away, standing in the middle of the corridor, was Spencer Hastings, hands in the air, with a shadowy figure.

"Hand over the documents and she gets to go!"

Emily felt like she had been struck down by lightning. She would have recognized that voice anywhere.


	76. Chapter 76: the Mirror and the Mask

**Author's Notes: So, we are almost at the end of the road. I appreciate your patience. You have been marvelous. There are a couple of chapters after this one, but I promise you that your patience will be rewarded. For now, here is a big reveal. Please make sure to tell me how you like these final chapters in the comments. I appreciate all of your input.**

Emily felt like she had been dipped in cold water and couldn't catch her breath. Finally she was able to inhale slowly through her nose and built up the courage to speak but Paige beat her to it:

"I always had a bad feeling about you Melissa. From the moment I first saw you it was just something I couldn't shake."

"Well, I am happy not to have been a disappointment to you," Melissa said as she stood behind Spencer, the gun pointed firmly at her.

Spencer looked dazed, almost disconnected. Her lip was quivering and her eyes had gotten watery:

"This whole time… you were in on it? You were with him… in on it?"

"You couldn't possibly understand it Spencer," Melissa said. "Mona could. Cece as well, even though they both decided to flake in at the worst possible moment. But me, I always delivered."

"Mona was bullied and Charlotte was rejected by her entire family," Emily said. "They were vulnerable, alone. They needed someone to take care of them and Ezra took advantage of that. What is your excuse?"

"You couldn't possibly understand," Melissa said. "None of you can."

"Try me," Paige said, looking defiantly at Melissa. Emily felt the energy that tingled between the two women. It was provocation, pure and simple, and surprisingly Melissa seemed to be taking the bait so she continued. "You had everything Melissa, and then some. You were considered the prettiest girl in Rosewood High, you had boys lining up after you, girls wanting to be you and you saw no problem with obviously being your parent's favoured child while you left your little sister in the cold, begging for scraps. How are we supposed to feel that you ever felt isolated and alone?"

"You think that everything in this world begins and ends at Rosewood don't you? Just like everyone else in this backroad of a town. Yes, I might have been prom queen and the captain of the cheerleading squad here, but let's face it, the competition was bar none. When I got out into the big bad world, I realized that only was I not special, I was a nobody. There were dozens of girls just like me, all over campus and any one of them could compete with me and take my place on any of the things that I was able to do."

"But you ended up on top there as well," Spencer said. "I remember mom gushing about you becoming the head of your sorority, being the first person in twenty five years to have done so."

"Well, I did. But not without some blood shed. I spent the first year in school feeling practically non-existent. Thankfully it was before the time that social media blew up so I could just flat out lie to mom and dad how many events I attended and what I was doing. It wasn't until that summer when I signed up for summer courses in Hollis. I was hoping to get some extra credit and finally get ahead like I was meant to do. That was when I met them…"

"Them as in…?" Emily asked.

"Jason's friend. He invited me to meet them at a party that he was holding. There were two of them who had just finished their junior year at college. Ian Thomas and Garrett Reynolds. I was drawn to both of them instantly. There was something about how cocky and self assured they were that just charmed me right off the bat. But that was until I met him…"

"Met who?" Paige asked.

"Ezra Fitzgerald. At first I thought that he was just some loser that Jason was letting attend his party out of pity. He's always had that Jason, that soft spot for the underdog. Sometimes it turns out to be something, but sometimes it is just an utterly hopeless case. I guess you and him have that in common Spence, a family resemblance so to speak. Anyway, we got talking and I found out that he was one of the former. He talked to me about how a real life story could be documented in two different manners. Either you waited around for things to happen around you and wrote about them or you influenced them yourself but for that you happen you needed to have already figured out a course of action, to know what you wanted to happen. I remember that night so clearly. The moment when he asked me "So what's it going to be Melissa: are you going to allow other people to let things happen to you, or are you going to let things happen to others."

"And how did he propose that you did that?" Paige asked.

"He introduced me to the NAT club," Melissa said in a matter of fact tone. "It started as some sort of gag between Jason, Garrett and Ian while they were still in Rosewood High. They'd plant cameras in nooks and crannies at the school, seeing how much embarrassing information they could gather about their classmates. But once they had their fill of that they wanted to venture further. That is when they met Ezra. I don't know how much you learned about his childhood…"

"From the trial?" Emily asked. "Oh we learned plenty. He was a lonely child. Protected by his parents and their wealth."

"He wasn't understood by many of his peers," Melissa said. "But once he met Jason in a prestigious country club he found a kindred spirit. Jason introduced him to their little secret, the video recordings, which they used in Jason's own words 'to find their own truth, surrounded by adults who did nothing except try to hide it from them. And Ezra was fascinated. He has such a brilliant mind. But you never saw that. Were never open to it."

Emily felt herself boiling at Melissa, congratulating herself for understanding the man who had made their life such hell. But she bit down on her anger, saying nothing, knowing that she should let Melissa continue with her tale if they were ever going to find out the truth.

"It was Ezra who suggested that they'd find out a system. Make it official. Into a coalition. And so it was that the NAT club was founded. When they went their separate ways into college they maintained contact, while working at their own universities. But Ezra sent them all in there with a mission. Lay out the web. Get more surveillance. He provided them with cameras, equipment, everything generously donated with money from the Fitzgerald dynasty. He also gave them some cameras to install in their own hometown during summer vacation. Ezra was fascinated with Rosewood. He said there was so much that could be brewing in such a small town."

"But how does this all tie back to you?" Paige asked.

"Always so impulsive you are," Melissa said, giving Paige an icy smile before continuing. "That summer, when Ezra told me about what they had been doing, in Rosewood and at their universities, I knew I wanted in. Ezra helped me setting up. I suddenly had eyes on everybody that was a somebody at my university. Ezra taught me how to use it to my advantage. Do you know how easy it is to become likable when you know how to play into everybody's preference, when you know their every secret, every fear? Before my sophomore year was over, I was back where I belonged, as a successful it-girl, respected member of the hottest sorority, being nominated as the first ever junior to become the head of the sorority the following year. Ezra was impressed by my work. The others were quickly losing interest, citing that they were moving on and that the NAT was more of a high school sort of hobby. But not me. And not Ezra. He was impressed by my success. He said that I had perfected his methods. As a reward he presented me with some stocks. His family had invested in a "family business" they called it. Also known as True Direction. Held told me it was my reward for being his first, his original, final girl."

"CeCe and Mona were final girls too. How did it make you feel, having to split the title with them?" Paige asked

"Split the title? My dear Paige. No wonder you were always such an outcast. You don't understand the dynamics of power. We were not equals. They were my protetes. I was their leader. And in exchange, once they had shown their allegiance, by being the string pullers that controlled the puppets here in Rosewood, they also received some compensation. But I of course was able to take my share before giving it to them. Commission. You know how the business works don't you? And the business that the Fitzgerald family had invested in, had passed onto Ezra before they cut him off, was booming. But eventually, the other final girls proved themselves not to be as strong as their predecessor. Once Mona buckled, CeCe was fortunately still loyal. She managed to infiltrate the Radley, get Mona to hand over her assets, her connection to the investments. Unfortunately, CeCe became less available when she was put into Welby. We heard some whispers, that she was ready to expose everything once she got out. Fortunately Ezra got to her before that. But not before she was able to get the message out. We found out that she had managed to send it to two people. Ezra said he would cover base with Alison, finding an excuse to go back to Rosewood and hiring a con man to get up close and personal to her, knowing with his history with Aria that he could not attempt to do it himself, not again. And me, I went for you."

"But why Jamie? Why recruit her? How did you find her anyway?" Paige asked. "She was innocent. Is innocent. She had just gotten ripped away from the person that mattered the most to her."

"Don't you think I know everything about that?" Melissa chuckled. "Gosh Paige, you graduated from a prestigious university, just like me. How have you not been able to put the pieces together."

"Your investment," Emily said, the realization sweeping over her like a cold wave. "The "family business" so to speak. It was True Direction. Wasn't it?"

"Bingo. If there was another Toyota as a lottery prize, you would have won it Emily," Melissa said. "And being such a large shareholder in the company, of course I had close contact with Mr. Huffman. I found out about what happened to his youngest, all though discreetly. It was not hard to piece together that once Jamie was out she'd come looking for her. So I decided to use that opportunity to my advantage. I have an important place in the community. Why waste my time chasing you, when I could just make a low life like her do it. And boy was she efficient. That is, of course, until Emily came back into your life and got you onto her old tricks of trying to crack mysteries."

""Is that why you made her try to push us apart?" Paige asked.

"It almost worked," Melissa remarked. "I was so close. And then, just like that, not only was she lost to me, but I lost my hope to be able to control you as well. Ezra was already in prison and Alison's realization was buried with her. But I was still licking my wounds, wondering how I could get my hold back on you, when the trackers that you didn't manage to get rid of, showed that you were returning to Pennsylvania."

"You lit the Huffman estate on fire," Paige said. "Why? Why are you doing all of this? If you have no problem with investing in True Direction, why are you so scared of other people knowing about it?"

"You truly understand nothing do you?" Melissa said. "I supported my mother running a campaign on progressive ideas. I have been lobbying for that platform for the better part of a decade now. I would lose all credibility.

"So, you're fine pretending to be one thing in front of the public and the cameras but an entirely different thing once they are off," Paige said, tears forming in her eyes. "The money you gained for True Direction is blood money Melissa. They imprisoned Linn. They tortured her. In ways that you couldn't even imagine. I can. Because I was there."

"I know everything about that. That was the leverage against you after all," Melissa said. "And don't act so sanctimonial. We are all different people in our private lives than we are in front of other people. You use the information that you have privately, but you never divulge it to other people. That is the key to success after all."

"That sounds insane," Spencer, who had been silent up to this point, hissed through gritted teeth.

"You're the one to talk Spencer," Melissa said, suddenly turning towards her sister. "Do I need to remind you that you have spent most of your life trying to become as successful as I am?"

"That was because I was made to feel like less than you!" Spencer spat back. "All that time, you, mom and dad always seemed to have it out for me, because there was a part of me that was different than you. And I internalized that I thought it was because there was something wrong with me and not the way that you saw the world."

"I could have given you everything," Melissa said, her voice rising. "If you would have just listened, and done as I said!"

"It's not too late," Jill said, breaking her silence. "Look, Melissa, I understand where you're coming from. I mean, look at me. To me, family was everything. Is everything. I live for my kids. For my husband. You can still make things right. Start with a clean slate. I just want to… I need to know what happened to my sister. I need to know the truth about what happened to Linn. Even though it's too late. I will never get to meet her again. Tell her how much I love her, how proud I am of her. She lived her life, as short as it was, the way that she wanted to. And I need to know the end to that, her life, her story."

Melissa's face seemed to soften, she reached for something inside of her jacket, a cell phone. That was all the initiative that Spencer needed. She saw the chance and grabbed it, jumped at Melissa, trying desperately to wrangle the gun from her hand. There was struggling, yelling, fighting, and then a sole gunshot pierced the air.


	77. Chapter 77:Leger de Main

Emily held her friend's hand as she was lifted into the ambulance. Spencer's face was ghost white but apart from that she was coherent and responsive. She felt Paige approaching her, putting her hands around her waist:

"I just finished giving a report to the police."

"Have they caught onto Melissa yet?" Emily asked.

"No, there is no sign of her," Paige responded. "But they'll do everything that they can."

"It won't be enough," Spencer said. "Once they manage to get her picture to the train stations and airports, she will already be in the wind. My sister was never anything if not overachieving and efficient."

"Alright ladies," the paramedic said, cutting in. "Only one of you can accompany the patient to the hospital. Who's it going to be?"

"You go with her," Paige said. "We'll meet you there."

"I can't believe I let her get away," Emily said. "Now we'll never find out what more she could have been hiding."

"Or maybe we can," Spencer said, reaching with her good arm into her jacket pocket. She passed something to Paige. "This was what she had in her hand when I jumped her. I figured that she was going to use it for some sort of negotiation and I wasn't ready to let her do that. I wasn't going to allow her to put me under the heel of her boot once more."

"You are brilliant Spencer Hastings," Paige said. She looked at the object that had just been passed to her. "It looks like a memory stick. I'll see if we can plug it up somewhere and find out what's inside."

"My work computer is in the car," Jill, who hadn't spoken until that point, said. "I'll go get it right now."

"Great. Let's rendezvous at the hospital," Paige said, grabbing her girlfriend's face and planting a kiss on her lips. "We'll be right behind you."

Emily snuck silently out of Spencer's hospital room. When she was about the round the corner she ran into Paige who was carrying two cups of coffee.

"Hey," Paige said and kissed her girlfriend reassuringly on the cheek. "We set up in the waiting are down the hall. How is Spencer?"

"Good. The bullet went straight through and didn't hit anything major in her arm," Emily responded. "They sewed her up and gave her some heavy sedatives. She's out like a light."

While they walked to the break room, sharing one of the coffees, Paige explained to Emily how Mona was helping them by accessing Jill's computer remotely.

"She's going to get on the road tomorrow morning once they discharge Jamie and meet us here. But until then she can work remotely. We also sent her the code key that we found behind that picture," the two women stopped in front of Jill, who was sitting down in a line of chairs. "How is she doing Jill?"

"Your girl, she is magic, I swear to God," Jill responded, the amazement apparent in her voice. "She was just sending me the decoded file from Melissa's memory stick."

"Let's take a look, shall we?" Emily said, sitting down to Jill's right while her girlfriend took the other side.

Jill did a few clicks, opening up a pdf file that looked like a medical form:

"You guys, who the heck is Willa?"

"She was someone that Linn used to know," Emily said. "We talked to a social worker that knew her. Apparently she and Linn were squatting together when Linn escaped True Direction. She was helping your sister out."

"Is there anything on there about what happened to her?" Paige asked, remembering Petra's words, her desire to know what happened to the girl that she so desperately wanted to help.

"This is form filed out, stating that she is being held at a sanitarium, not too far from here actually. She's been there for quite some time now. Almost five years actually."

"What is that other file that's attached to it?" Emily asked. "Is that a picture?"

"Let's take a look," Jill said, clicking at the other file.

Once the file opened up, a needle could have been heard falling to the floor of the waiting room.

"It can't be," Emily gasped.

"How can it be?" Paige asked puzzled.

"It is," Jill said. "I know it is. We need to get Jamie. She needs to get over here. Right now!"

 **Author's Notes: Once again I opted for a smaller input in order to keep the updated more regular. Does anyone want to take a guess from where the title of the chapter came?**


	78. Chapter 78: Black holes and Revelations

**Author's Notes: Hi, I know it's been a while. My apologies. It's been crazy busy but I am burning the midnight oil to finish this fic and do you guys justice who have been so amazing in supporting my writing. Like I have stated before, we are nearing the end and I am hoping that this and the next couple of chapters which should be the end for this long winded adventure, will prove satisfactory. You have been amazing and I just want to state again that I appreciate everyone that has taken the time to read and review my work. Now onto one of the last chapters of this fic:**

Jamie moved slowly through the corridors of the Welby State Psychiatric Hospital. She was still exhausted from her own hospital stay and the car ride over to Rosewood which had taken the better part of the day. She dragged her legs and felt the hand of the petite, dark haired woman draping protectively over her shoulder, guiding her toward the correct corridor. She had known girls like her while she was in juvie -cunning small girls who thought fast on their feet. They could be your best ally, or your worst enemy. Judging by her caring body language, she seemed to be on Mona Vanderwaal's good side. The other woman ushered her into a room where she was met with Emily and Paige.

"Hey guys, mind telling me what's going on? Why are we here?"

"Well, we found out who the person making you blackmail Paige was," Emily said. "But that's not what's really important."

"How can that not be what's most important?" Jamie said. "That person made me trail you for over a year, promising me that if I did I would be able to see Linn again only for me to find out that they were lying and that she was actually dead. I'd like to give them a piece of my mind."

"Maybe this will change your perspective on that," Emily said, grabbing her arm and leading her down the corridor. Paige walked next to them, picking up where Emily had left:

"We found a list of the remainder of the shareholders in True Direction. It turns out the secret that your mystery taskmaster was amongst them, which is why she was so willing to employ you to get to the people that had a hold of those files."

"Why did you have them Paige? I don't understand…"

"Because somebody was trying to do right by everybody that was done wrong. And they thought that Paige was well equipped to possess the key to how that was supposed to be done. But they never had the chance to do that. But now, maybe we can," Emily said.

"I'm not sure I understand," Jamie said. "Can anybody just tell me what's going on?"

"Jamie, look at me," Paige said, grasping the younger woman's arm, looking her in the eye. "All will be explained in due time. But for now, what we need for you is to be strong and courageous for what is to come. Can you do that?"

Jamie took a hard swallow:

"I can try my best."

Paige smiled a small, comforting smile:

"Your best is the best that can ever be asked for. Now we should head outside." They approached a door at the end of the hallway, cracking it open.

The three women peaked outside, where Jamie recognized Jill, a lot more grown up than the last time she saw her, speaking to a bushy haired, thin framed woman, who didn't even look up at the commotion. But there was something familiar about the way that frail looking girl turned her head, how she wrangled the index finger of her right hand and the ring finger of her left hand together.

"It can't be…" Jamie said. She turned towards Paige, wondering if she should be angry at this possible trickery or ecstatic at the discovery. "Paige McCullers! How can this be?"

"It turned out that Mr. Huffman did more than bribe police officers for your false arrest," Paige said, her face looking like she still found what she was saying hard to believe. "So when he found his fallen daughter who he had so desperately tried to turn to the way that he deemed correct, stashed away in a squatted house, trying desperately to wake the girl up who had helped her since she escaped his clutches, he decided to pull some favours. With a few ill granted donations he was able to forge the documents, showing that it was his daughter who had been found dead and then proceeded to bury her in the family plot, but that the other girl that was found which now was officially recognized as Willa, was to be kept in a private sanitarium to recover from the terrible ordeal of watching her camarade die. Except that the so called Willa never seemed to recover, claiming that she was the girl that had died that night, named Linn Huffman. This was registered as disassociation by the doctors and at some point their patient seemed to fade into some sort of delirium, not accepting that she was who the doctors told her she was, but giving up the fight, at least openly that she was who she had always claimed that she was."

Jamie stood dead in her track, feeling like ice cold water had just been poured down her back. She stumbled for words:

"You mean to tell me…" she said, behind gritted teeth. "That bastard Huffman, preferred to have his daughter - _my Linn_ , locked here, like a bird in a cage, medicated out of her mind and told that she was someone she is not, rather than just accept her for what she was?"

"Yes. That's what we're saying," Emily said, the seriousness beaming from her mournful eyes. "There is no easy way to say this Jamie. He was a monster. What he did, was despicable."

"You however, have a choice," Paige said, the tone of her voice firm. "Trust me Jamie, I know how anger works. Sometimes it can feel like it's fueling you up. But all it's doing is burning you up in that flame, faster than it fuels you to do anything else. So, you have a choice now: you can spend your life hating a man that is already gone, for the terrible things that he did to you and the one that you love. Or you can try to build something from the ashes. I can tell you what I used to do, and what I later wished I had done. But in the end the choice is completely yours."

"I know what I want to do," Jamie said, gently pushing the two women aside and taking long, decisive strides towards the two women sitting in the meadow.

At first, the frailer one of them looked startled, but once she saw Jamie's face, there was a calm that seemed to settle over her. It was a knowing calm in some way that Jamie could feel without being able to put her finger on it, all though the woman did not acknowledge who she was.

"Don't be startled. I am a friend," Jamie said, sitting down a safe distance from the other woman. "I have brought something for you."

"You have?" the woman looked up at her, expectant.

Jill took her leave, seeming to know that this was something that Jamie needed to do alone.

Jamie placed a stack of letters on the table between her and Linn, pushing them towards the other woman, who glided her hand over the pile, tracing her fingers over a sketch on top of it:

"I think I know this story."

"You do?" Jamie asked. "I was sure that you had heard it some time ago, but I was not certain that you were able to recall it. Would you mind telling it to me?"

"Of course," Linn responded. "It speaks of a traveller, that meets a little prince on a distant planet. The prince, like his planet, is different from everything else the traveller has ever known. But the traveller has to go again but this time their plane crashes and they are told that the little prince was bitten by a snake and has succumbed to their injury. Their heart breaks and he spends the rest of their time wandering, knowing that they are destined to die, lost and alone. Have you heard this story before?"

"I have," Jamie said. "But the way I heard it, the little prince gets told that the traveller's plane has crashed and that they had died in the crash. So the little prince spends the rest of their time, roaming their planet all alone, mourning for their lost love."

"Those stories are quite contradicting," Linn said, still lost in the tale. "How can either of us know which one is the truth?"

"How about neither?" Jamie asked, tracing her fingers over the other woman's hand. "How about we try to make our own story?"

Linn closed her eyes, a small tear streaking down her pale cheek:

"I have waited for so long…"

"I know," Jamie said, clasping her hand. "And I am so sorry. But I am here now."

* * *

Mona had joined the two women in the room adjacent to the garden along with Jill, and they observed the communication between the two young women that seemed to be going well.

"I still can't believe this," Jill said. "All this time, he kept her here. Locked up."

"It's horrible," Emily said. "It's the only way to say it. It's repulsive."

"I wish we could do something about this," Jill said. "Expose him somehow. I don't care if he was my father. I want that institution to go down!"

"But who would tell their story?" Emily asked. "How will we expose this story?"

"If I may inject my expert knowledge on this matter," Mona said. "I do not recommend that you tell Linn's story. She is still in the beginning stages of recovery and has spent years being in no way in control of her life. Exposing her story, without her permission will just make her feel like she is not in control of her own life once again again and relive the trauma."

"You're right," Jill said, wiping a tear that was trickling down her face. "Sorry. I'm just so, incredibly angry."

"I understand that," Emily said, instinctively grasping the other woman's hand and giving it a squeeze. "I want your father and his repulsive organization exposed, just as much as you do. I'm just not sure how to go about it."

Paige, who had been silent until this time, her silhouette visible as she stood in the doorway, observing the two women in the garden, turned towards them:

"I know. I know what I have to do."

* * *

Aria Montgomery combed over the hair before turning around, making sure that her taller friend was comfortably positioned on the couch.

"You sure that you don't mind having people over?" she asked, shooting a worried glance over to the lounging brunette. "I mean, you've been home for less than a day."

"Will you relax dear?" Spencer said, almost mockingly. "You have already taken the day off to nurse me even when I'm perfectly capable of doing so myself…"

"You tripped this morning trying to single handedly open the coffee can," Aria said furrowing her brow. "You were scrambling on the floor when I was awaken by the ruckus."

"You are so thoughtful," Spencer said, softening Aria up after having challenged her worried friend. "It almost makes me feel like we are a couple you and I."

"Better than that. Boys can suck it. We're team Sparia," Aria said, laughingly bumping fists with her friend. "But seriously. Are you okay with having people?"

"I'm fine. They're here to see you anyway. If I feel tired or in pain I will just down a couple of painkillers and take a nap, besides," Spencer leaned in. "It was me who invited them."

* * *

Once Aria had welcomed her guests and offered them some coffee, with Spencer having taken her leave after realizing that she might not be as well as she had thought, they retreated to the living room with their cups.

"This has been quite a story you've told me," Aria said, stirring her coffee. "If I had been somebody else I wouldn't have believed it. But having known A and what he did, this doesn't sound so unbelievable."

"We knew we could confide in you," Emily said, putting down her cup. "And we did owe you an explanation about all the stuff that has been going down lately. I know we haven't actually kept you in the loop. But now, we are in dire need of your help."

"Absolutely. I would do anything to help you Em. You know that," Aria said, and when their eyes met, both women knew that this was the absolute, god honest truth. They had stuck together through thick and thin, through persecution and revelations. There was nothing that they would not support each other in doing. "I just don't know how I can be of any help."

"I know," Paige said. "I read over some of the articles that you wrote while you were working in Boston. You are still an incredible reporter Aria. You already had ambition back in high school but the years have only made you better."

"You're too kind," Aria said. "I still write stuff for them every once in a while but I've been absolutely clear with the paper: I refuse to write any personal stuff relating to me and my experience with A."

"We know that and we respect that," Emily said. "We would never ask you for anything like that. However, we want to ask you to call your colleagues back in Boston. Ask them to check on their colleagues in Washington and California. Mona and Spencer have some incredible contacts. They will help you out."

"And report about what?" Aria said. "Most of the stuff I write about these days is local stuff for the Rosewood Observer. I just finished doing a four hundred word article about a local cub scout bake sale. What could I possibly write about that would interest this amount of audience?"

"Me," Paige said. "When I was up in Stanford, breaking records, qualifying for the national team and hopeful for the Olympics, I was hounded by reporters. I was known for being a closed book. Personal life non existent. They had nothing on me. Who I was. Where I came from. I was shut off. Too ashamed. But not anymore. I'm ready to tell my story Aria."

Aria looked at the auburn haired woman, raising an eyebrow at the sudden declaration before switching right back to professional reporter mode:  
"I'll be right back. I just need to get my recorder."


End file.
